Post: #26

(07-13-2013 08:51 PM)Sebastian Wrote:  So far I find it impossible to find a guy to talk about Game.

Btw, was it easy for you guys to go out together for a day game? (concert, park, mall, some event)
I bet if I ask some guy 'hey wanna go to this mall to hit on chicks?' he would look at me weird.

Same here. I know a few guys from the gym but they only want to run drunk game at clubs... They are scared shitless to run daygame... They're even afraid to talk about it, it seems.

Post: #27

@chambs88 It is normal to feel a bit weird when you break someone's personal space but think of it this way there is nothing stopping them from moving back. When you do this you are also sub-communicating sexual intent so if she finds you sexually unappealing she will move back. Anytime a girl moves back it's not a good sign so it's also a good test.

@Teutatis Approaching is the easiest part yet for all men, for some reason, it's the hardest. The first thing you need to do change your internal view of it and what it means. Remove from your thoughts that you are "picking up" girls. You are just being social. You are not trying to "pickup" anyone. And because you are just being friendly and social IF she acts rude in any way it's because she doesn't have social manners. Keep repeating this to yourself every day and every time you see a girl you want to approach: only a Yes has to power to change your life, a No cannot. If a girl rejects you in any way, it's a No, but nothing in your life will change. She doesn't take anything away from you. Whatever you feel, is because of yourself not because of her. If you decide it means nothing, then that's exactly what it means. The next problem most guys have is: I don't know what to say. Again, you are just being social, talk about something in the area or talk about the event. This is called a situational opener. For example, you are in a bar, talk about whatever is on TV or something interesting in the bar or it could also just be a current situation e.g. Did you hear that Zimmerman got off? What do you think about that?

Post: #28

I'm getting used to standing very close during day approaches, and amping up my nonverbal interest. The first few times I tried were terribly awkward, but the girls were MUCH more receptive to blatant sexual advances with a hint of awkward than my previously more timid approaches. And the awkward-ness may have just been in my head, since it was something different than I'm used to. It feels like some kind of primal switch is triggered when you invade their space...they can't help but feel something about you.

Back when I lived up north, I felt like I got looks from a lot of types, but since moving to florida, it's been exclusively hipster chicks and latin girls who state very early on that they like hairy gringos. And that's been key in my escalating interactions...girls that are into you, more often than not, show it. It might be subtle, it might not, but it should be easy to tell. Thinking back, I've wasted too much energy rambling and interacting with girls who I should have known were not sexually interested, but were looking to be entertained.

Post: #29

(07-17-2013 03:16 PM)chambs88 Wrote:  It feels like some kind of primal switch is triggered when you invade their space...they can't help but feel something about you.

Thinking back, I've wasted too much energy rambling and interacting with girls who I should have known were not sexually interested, but were looking to be entertained.

Great to hear. You are putting to the test what we spoke about and you actually remember most of it - impressive. Ultimately, this is what matters and it's the only thing that matters - what works for you in the real world.

Post: #30

(07-13-2013 10:27 PM)Sebastian Wrote:  whatever you do, don't ask her her name
-----------------------------------------
what? maybe I've been missing something. can someone elaborate on this?

I'm also curious about the theory behind this. To me it seems like the easiest way to build a connection.

Post: #31

The reason guys say this is that some PUA material, including Roosh, uses it as an IOI. If a girl as you your name it means she is interested and this is true but if she ask you a lot of other things it also means she is interested.

Post: #32

(07-18-2013 01:16 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  The reason guys say this is that some PUA material, including Roosh, uses it as an IOI. If a girl asks you your name it means she is interested and this is true but if she ask you a lot of other things it also means she is interested.

Ah, ok. That way. It's true but I depends on your opener and first seconds/minutes of convo. I usually introduce myself to get some kino going. I found out that it's better to use my real name to create a bit more foreign attraction here in the states. It's Niels (Scandinavian name) vs Neil (American version) It's a small difference but at least you give the girl the chance to ask about it.

I have no idea what kind of a name Neil is here in the states. What kind of people are named Neil?. Is it a boring name or what?

Post: #33

(07-18-2013 01:26 PM)Neil Skywalker Wrote:  I have no idea what kind of a name Neil is here in the states. What kind of people are named Neil?. Is it a boring name or what?

Neil Strauss

Post: #34

Ultimately introducing yourself or not introducing yourself doesn't make that much of a difference. Your name also doesn't make much of a difference - try different names and see. Think of yourself, you meet a girl that you find attractive. She introduces herself as September, will you suddenly find her less attractive? What a girl will do is assess your overall vibe and look and assign you a value rating. If she perceives that you have high enough value you can pretty much do whatever you want. You think someone like Tom Cruise needs to be concerned about what he says or don't say to a girl? All of these little details only come into play when your value is low or borderline to a girl and if it is then it's basically like walking through a mine field, anything can blow you out at any moment and something usually will. But even IF you do have a high value the girl may be in a relationship or whatever and just won't care - so a high value doesn't automatically mean she will be responsive.

The key is being able to detect those girls that ARE interested from the start and then to build on that interest.

What is it they say? You can't start a fire without a spark.

Post: #35

(07-18-2013 02:31 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  The key is being able to detect those girls that ARE interested from the start and then to build on that interest.

What is it they say? You can't start a fire without a spark.

I'm interested in hearing more about how to detect these girls. Is there a thread on this?

Post: #36

(07-18-2013 05:07 PM)Pacific Wrote:  

(07-18-2013 02:31 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  The key is being able to detect those girls that ARE interested from the start and then to build on that interest.

What is it they say? You can't start a fire without a spark.

I'm interested in hearing more about how to detect these girls. Is there a thread on this?

For me a large portion of it is by reading body language and using it to express myself. For example this past weekend I approached a group of 7 people, 2 being male. Two of the girls began asking me questions about where I was from, what was I doing away from my home country ect. Dutch girl,
who was doing 80% of the talking between the two girls, asked for my name quickly (IOI), while the Finn next to me that I spoken with first had leaned into me (IOI). My hand had been on her shoulder the whole time since I first walked up to the table. Dutch girl had started leaning WAY DEEP into the table (IOI) to speak to me. Both the of girls had their eyes open a bit larger (IOI) which means a sign of interest for what I have seen. I did not waste any time with the other girls at the table who had said nothing to me.

After 5 minutes the girl who I was touching this whole time, had placed her arm around my back. I shortly after took her to the dance floor and we began kissing quickly into dancing.

If you can talk to a group of 5 girls and spot which one WANTS to talk to you within the first 60 seconds then it makes things much easier and you learn not to waste valuable time with girls who are just friendly rather then being sexually interested. Body language can be a very crucial aspect of this.

Post: #37

Well said chexmix

Post: #38

Meeting up with chambs88 and teutasis tonight to get our game on It's funny, I get more excited about these training/learning sessions than I do about most dates.

Post: #39

I decided to take on Nomad77's open offer to meet up in Miami and contacted him earlier this week. He kindly invited me to go out with him and chambs88 yesterday and as such I just wanted to write a few lines about our meeting last night. I'm not writing this for the experienced guys here, who will read and say "well, of course, that's obvious" but to that shy, introverted guy with no game.

As I've written before, I don't really have "game", I'm a normal guy that had his girlfriends throughout the years but I've never been that guy that can just walk up to a girl anywhere and start chatting her up (even though I've always wanted to be like that) and I'm more of an introvert with a tiny bit of social anxiety. I'm one of those guys that has this ridiculous frame of mind where I think if I were to go and start talking to a girl somewhere I'd be bothering her and she would just rather that I disappeared and that everyone is looking at me and judging and making fun of me or something. Completely stupid, I know, it's all inside your head really, but that's how I was for awhile while growing up and still have some of that crap left in me, so I'm working to let go of that.

Anyway, that little intro it's just to let you know that I had never really done something like this before.

So I met Nomad and Chambs in front of Brickell Irish Pub and we head north to Boca. Chambs is a musician and his band was playing in the Blue Martini there. First time meeting both of these guys and they were super nice cool guys, very friendly, if you ever have the chance to meet them do it. During our drive to Boca Nomad was talking to us, giving us pointers and advice and basically just a lot of his knowledge and experience related to game. He also asked me, actually ordered me :-) , to approach 3 girls. I must reiterate that I've never really done this before so I'm feeling a mix of "yeah, no problem, I can do this" and "shit, what do I do now".

So we get there, Chambs has to go meet with his band and Nomad and I just walk in. I need to go to the bathroom so I excuse myself, I come back two minutes later and I find Nomad talking to these 3 girls seating at a table, making them laugh and having fun. I could only think, "damn, already?". So I just join in and listen to him talk, and it's funny, he just comes up with random stuff to talk about that I wouldn't think of and the girls are having fun. A couple of minutes later we leave them to go to the bar. The crowd was pretty mixed, with lots of different ages, from younger girls to older women. Lots of 40 and 50 year olds, but enough younger women for us to talk to.

So, I'm not going to bother you with all the little details of the night, I'm sure you don't care about that, but for me it was just amazing watching Nomad talking to groups of girls left and right, whenever he felt like it. He opened so many girls for me to talk to, damn. He made it look so easy too. Keep in mind I had never seen anyone do this before, so it was really one of those "wow" moments for me. Let's just say that by the end of the night I had 3 phone numbers, danced with and talked to a bunch of different women, got kissed and offered a threesome. Nomad really forced me out of my comfort zone and I have to give him a big thank you for that.

Just a few observations:

Getting rejected really isn't that bad, you just say "oh well", shrug your shoulders and move on to the next.

I got to see first hand what cock blocking friends are and how they can really ruin a good thing.

On the other hand girls are less bitchy than I thought. Even a few girls that I talked to and that clearly weren't interested in me weren't rude or obnoxious, they were polite and nice. I know it happens sometimes that we get these bitchy and obnoxious women, it happened to us by the end of the night actually, while we were eating before going home, but in general girls are polite and civil as long as you don't act like an idiot.

This is a big one, you really have to approach, you never know when a girl is interested in you. Earlier in the night I tried talking to this girl and she ignored me, later Nomad and I saw her and her friend again and he just opened them and we start talking to them and this girl that ignored me starts giving me all these compliments, showing all this interest in me, we dance and talk a bit and she ended up giving me her number. I could only think "what?"

Same thing later on, Nomad and I were talking and these two girls were sitting behind us, I had noticed them but they looked like they didn't want to be bothered and looked bitchy and closed to me, but he just turns around and decides to open them and they were super nice and chill.

For the introverts, after a while you stop caring if people are watching you talking to girls and then you realize not only you don't care but no one is really keeping an eye on you, no one else cares about what you're doing.

All the theory in the world is useless if you don't apply it to real life. Just go out there and do it.

The takeaway really is that we have all these self imposed mental blocks, barriers and limiting beliefs that only exist in our minds and things are really not that complicated.

Long story short, there were plenty of new experiences. Nomad spent all night talking to me, giving me advice, showing how he does his thing. It was invaluable and even though it was just one night and I obviously in no way, shape or form can consider myself anywhere near what a "player" is, I still have a looot to learn, do and experience, I can totally see how some guys really are just good with women. It's inspiring.

Big thank you to Nomad for all his patience, and to chambs, who despite not having any time to do much, since he was playing with his band, still managed to talk to girls in between sets.

Post: #40

"Half of life is just showing up."

The other half is just doing the work.

You did both and got the results +1

Post: #41

Hit me up if you wanna wreck shit at the university of Tennessee

Post: #42

I'm near DC if anyone wants to meet up.

Post: #43

If I ever come to DC or Tennessee I will be sure to let you guys know. Thanks

Post: #44

(07-11-2013 12:53 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  Sure, just let me know when you are here. Exactly, I find it more rewarding watching a guy do well with a girl than actually getting one myself these days.

Just kidding! I may take you up and come down to miami, it sounds like a lot of fun.

Always down to meet rooshvforum brothers.

Post: #45

Is that the impression I am giving? That Miami is fun Then I must be doing something wrong. I don't think any of the guys on here that have come to Miami will say that Miami is an easy city for picking up women. In fact, I believe it to be one of the most difficult. But as I tell guys, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere

Post: #46

I wasn't sure whether to make a new thread about this and reference this one as the inspiration but

I think we should set up a little program where we can match mentors to up and comers in the game.

After reading this thread and the thread about guys getting their hearts broken by girls as their reason to get in on the game, I think we need something like this

I've been in the game for a number of years now and have flags in lots of countries, done crazy stuff, bedded girls in numerous languages, etc etc. ( my mentor "credentials" ha)

How can we determine who would be a good match?

Maybe listing factors like style of game, age range, areas of expertise, strengths,weaknesses, location etc.
Style: funny, teasing, flirty .. high energy and life of the party in clubs.. Dancing..
Age range: late 20s
Game expertise: good but could be better at both day and night game, threesomes lol, Latin America, Europe (some)
Strengths: Sense of humor, sharp wit, above average looks, many languages, life of the party type vibe (sometimes), good closer (ha!), high notch count, rarely get rejected between first date and eventual sex, can approach and get numbers from 10s or the hottest girl in the club
Weaknesses: logistics (no swank centrally located apt), no six pack or great muscles, newbie to serious style, sometimes lack killer instinct, close but probably not cracked 9s .. (Have a hard time dealing with the bullshit as Roosh wrote about recently)

I would be interested in helping mentor people in the DC area. Let me know what aspects of game you would like to improve on and we can talk about the ways we could work together.

As an aside, I would be looking for some advice, guidance mentoring on style and fitness from some guys on here

Let's keep this mentorship discussion going. Good thread. Let me know if we need a new one with something about mentorship program in the title.

Post: #47

I don't know if has to be so complicated. Just meet up and hang out. Everything else will sort itself out. The biggest problem most guys have is just getting over approach anxiety. It really helps for them to see someone do it so they know it can be done.

Sure go ahead and start a thread for mentoring, can't hurt.

What I would suggest is that if you want to help anyone out just say so in your signature. Then people will know they can contact you for help.

Post: #48

Ok, guys I've made a thread for this:

/thread-26318.html