Post: #1

This morning I woke up and asked my girl, "I'm going for a run, want to come?" She groaned and rolled over.

So I thought for a second and continued, "Okay... How about I go for a run and you go and get food?" She immediately got up and said, "What? So I can become the fat person in the relationship? Let's go."

Made me proud.

What are some of yours? I'm sure el mech has a few good ones.

Post: #2

Look at her intently then say she has a new wrinkle you haven't noticed before.

Post: #3

(06-16-2013 09:10 AM)Gmac Wrote:  This morning I woke up and asked my girl, "I'm going for a run, want to come?" She groaned and rolled over.

So I thought for a second and continued, "Okay... How about I go for a run and you go and get food?" She immediately got up and said, "What? So I can become the fat person in the relationship? Let's go."

Made me proud.

What are some of yours? I'm sure el mech has a few good ones.

Atta girl.

I had a redneck girlfriend who used to chew sometimes when hanging with other redneck girls, and it bothered me. So one time I acted like I didn't want to bring up something and forced her to drag it out of me. Told her that I didn't want to tell her what to do with her life, but her teeth were starting to yellow and that it was turning me off.

Not very subtle, I know, but it worked.

She bought a teeth whitening kit and stopped chewing.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #4

I am a fan of backhanded compliments (have to give credit to Tom Leykis)

You’re lucky you don’t have to worry about men only liking you for your looks

I like a girl with a little junk in the trunk

You look really great in this light

I wish I were as confident as you and could just wear anything

I like the dress your wearing, it does wonders for your figure.

Post: #5

A favorite of mine, can't remember where I heard it:

Your eyes are really pretty...especially the right one.

Post: #6

Can't embed.

http://www.comedycentral.com/video-clips...end-pranks

His whole special is brilliant.

Post: #7

Absent-mindedly and softly, pinch a roll of fat on her arm. When she asks what you're doing, don't respond and just pretend you're a five year old mesmerized by Playdough. Best way to insinuate she's fat.

Post: #8

I know her Tumblr account, so when we're hanging out I make light reference at what she posts, sometimes making fun of the serious shit she posts.

She doesn't know I know her Tumblr account, so its pretty fun.

Post: #9

You look much better with makeup on.