Post: #1

I posted about six weeks ago about a girl who, after we had sex for the first couple times, flaked on a date without additional explanation or alternative offer.

I gave up on her, irritated.

Last weekend I had a good friend over, a hot girl used to combative dating practices. I saw the flake girl randomly that day, then explained the situation to the friend. She immediately said "oh, she liked you and was trying to play you to get you to chase her."

I reopened the flake girl to test the theory.

Intercourse ensued. She also admitted the attempted maneuver.

Now, before I started really gaming girls, I would have continued to plow right after getting the flake. Things like this make me wonder if I've veered too far in the other direction: is game lowering my attention span and bullshit threshold too low?

I'll be ruminating on that one while I go squat.

Post: #2

Perhaps your friend is uncannily perceptive, but in general I err towards the "asking a girl for advice on female psychology is like asking a ten year-old for advice on child psychology" school of that, and that when girls are right on these things, it's a case of a stopped clock being right twice a day.

I also have noticed this covaries with attractiveness, that attractive girls are more oblivious to the machinations of sexual behavior, as attractive girls have nothing to lose by being oblivious to the realities of the world.

If I were you, I wouldn't spin my wheels too hard. Who knows how much time and thought you would waste on girls by heightening your attention span and bullshit threshold. Don't let one experience make you re-evaluate your outlook.

That's the benefit of always keep plates-spinning--so nothing of value is lost by having a low attention span and bullshit threshold.

I can do nothing but chuckle and shrug when girls are being difficult after I've already banged them: I've already gotten what I most wanted, sweetheart--the initial bang. You being difficult now is but your loss.

Next.

Post: #3

It's ok to ask a girl what something means. Just don't ask her what to do.

Post: #4

1) how much work was the reopen?
2) sex worth it?
3) you punish her?

WIA

Post: #5

(05-17-2013 10:02 PM)Kabal Wrote:  Perhaps your friend is uncannily perceptive, but in general I err towards the "asking a girl for advice on female psychology is like asking a ten year-old for advice on child psychology" school of that, and that when girls are right on these things, it's a case of a stopped clock being right twice a day.

I also have noticed this covaries with attractiveness, that attractive girls are more oblivious to the machinations of sexual behavior, as attractive girls have nothing to lose by being oblivious to the realities of the world.

If I were you, I wouldn't spin my wheels too hard. Who knows how much time and thought you would waste on girls by heightening your attention span and bullshit threshold. Don't let one experience make you re-evaluate your outlook.

That's the benefit of always keep plates-spinning--so nothing of value is lost by having a low attention span and bullshit threshold.

I can do nothing but chuckle and shrug when girls are being difficult after I've already banged them: I've already gotten what I most wanted, sweetheart--the initial bang. You being difficult now is but your loss.

Next.

"asking a girl for advice on female psychology is like asking a ten year-old for advice on child psychology"

This is true, but in his case it isn't "advice" as much as it's getting inside information from a girl. This is generally a good thing as long as you know the girl giving you the info is honest. Having an inside track on what a girl is thinking is never a bad thing.

Sometimes women will also give you unwitting insider info about other women, such as: "I can't stand her anymore -- she's getting into pervy things like lesbianism and anal!" This was actually a sentence said to me in college once and I was like "Hmm, that's terrible!" then immediately looked up the friend and ended up in bed with her - hahaha.

Post: #6

It's simple SOME girls just want to be chase.

Not all girls behave the same after sex. Trying to understand why a single

girl does something will take you years and cost you notches. Don't think

about it much and move on. Knowing why a girl does something or anyone

in particular is only good for long term relationships with that person.

Post: #7

when you describe the girl flaking, was that a full-on no-show, no-call; or just a turn-down?

Post: #8

(05-18-2013 03:56 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

(05-17-2013 10:02 PM)Kabal Wrote:  Perhaps your friend is uncannily perceptive, but in general I err towards the "asking a girl for advice on female psychology is like asking a ten year-old for advice on child psychology" school of that, and that when girls are right on these things, it's a case of a stopped clock being right twice a day.

I also have noticed this covaries with attractiveness, that attractive girls are more oblivious to the machinations of sexual behavior, as attractive girls have nothing to lose by being oblivious to the realities of the world.

If I were you, I wouldn't spin my wheels too hard. Who knows how much time and thought you would waste on girls by heightening your attention span and bullshit threshold. Don't let one experience make you re-evaluate your outlook.

That's the benefit of always keep plates-spinning--so nothing of value is lost by having a low attention span and bullshit threshold.

I can do nothing but chuckle and shrug when girls are being difficult after I've already banged them: I've already gotten what I most wanted, sweetheart--the initial bang. You being difficult now is but your loss.

Next.

"asking a girl for advice on female psychology is like asking a ten year-old for advice on child psychology"

This is true, but in his case it isn't "advice" as much as it's getting inside information from a girl. This is generally a good thing as long as you know the girl giving you the info is honest. Having an inside track on what a girl is thinking is never a bad thing.

Sometimes women will also give you unwitting insider info about other women, such as: "I can't stand her anymore -- she's getting into pervy things like lesbianism and anal!" This was actually a sentence said to me in college once and I was like "Hmm, that's terrible!" then immediately looked up the friend and ended up in bed with her - hahaha.

I agree that flat-out asking them for advice/counsel may not always be wise, but just listening to them talk can give you valuable nuggets of info to work with. Like the info that girl gave about why the other was flaking was valuable - you can ask, then use your judgment. In this case, since it was a girl you'd already smashed, there was no reason not to give weight to her assessment. Asking women how to relate to women in general is a waste of time.

Post: #9

(05-18-2013 02:43 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  1) how much work was the reopen?
2) sex worth it?
3) you punish her?

WIA

1) four short text messages back and forth
2) yep
3) OTK

(05-18-2013 10:26 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  when you describe the girl flaking, was that a full-on no-show, no-call; or just a turn-down?

just a turn-down, but late and terse. a full-on no-show would never get my attention again.

Post: #10

(05-17-2013 10:02 PM)Kabal Wrote:  If I were you, I wouldn't spin my wheels too hard. Who knows how much time and thought you would waste on girls by heightening your attention span and bullshit threshold. Don't let one experience make you re-evaluate your outlook.

That's the benefit of always keep plates-spinning--so nothing of value is lost by having a low attention span and bullshit threshold.

I can do nothing but chuckle and shrug when girls are being difficult after I've already banged them: I've already gotten what I most wanted, sweetheart--the initial bang. You being difficult now is but your loss.

Next.

It seems counterproductive for me to slog through a heap of bullshit going out and opening girls - doing the vast majority of the work to foster a connection for 15-30 minutes or more - and dealing with the bitchiness, rejections, shit tests, etc. to hook a girl in the first place, to then decide to pack up my tent at a much easier bump in the road later on.

Granted, we're at the point where she should have more investment in the affair, and so the argument that her shit should decrease commensurately is a valid one.

Finally, I'm not after the initial bang. I like bangs down the road. Continued bangs. Where it gets interesting.

Post: #11

(05-18-2013 02:47 PM)lurker Wrote:  

(05-17-2013 10:02 PM)Kabal Wrote:  If I were you, I wouldn't spin my wheels too hard. Who knows how much time and thought you would waste on girls by heightening your attention span and bullshit threshold. Don't let one experience make you re-evaluate your outlook.

That's the benefit of always keep plates-spinning--so nothing of value is lost by having a low attention span and bullshit threshold.

I can do nothing but chuckle and shrug when girls are being difficult after I've already banged them: I've already gotten what I most wanted, sweetheart--the initial bang. You being difficult now is but your loss.

Next.

It seems counterproductive for me to slog through a heap of bullshit going out and opening girls - doing the vast majority of the work to foster a connection for 15-30 minutes or more - and dealing with the bitchiness, rejections, shit tests, etc. to hook a girl in the first place, to then decide to pack up my tent at a much easier bump in the road later on.

Granted, we're at the point where she should have more investment in the affair, and so the argument that her shit should decrease commensurately is a valid one.

Finally, I'm not after the initial bang. I like bangs down the road. Continued bangs. Where it gets interesting.

Me too - interesting post. It's a huge mental game for me not some caveman "i gotta get laid tonight" thing. Fuck that my time and my life is WAAY more important that some ridiculously bullish*t results oriented one-night stand or result. And these skanks can all go to hell for all I care. Nuff said.

FYI, 2 numbers, 1 kiss close, 3 dates set up tonight - yeah I think I did some pretty good work!)))) Yea me!!! ))

Post: #12

Perfect example of a time where being conversationally direct gets results. Women won't admit it to themselves or others, but they secretly want a man who challenges her responses.

Post: #13

(05-18-2013 07:18 PM)Gmac Wrote:  Perfect example of a time where being conversationally direct gets results. Women won't admit it to themselves or others, but they secretly want a man who challenges her responses.

Makes sense.

I just had a girl flake on me - had 2 previous dates where I kiss closed, then almost [email protected] Felt like it was 'on' and I was destined to close on the next date. I went away for two weeks on vacation and she sends a text the first weekend with something like "we've seen each other the past three saturdays, and you're away now, it feels strange, I miss you." So I think it's on.

Then we set up a meet over the weekend, she flakes on the date telling me she has to go out of town. I don't respond - later I get a "are you upset?" text from her (clearly implying she knows she did something wrong). I don't respond until the next day and say I'm not really upset, thought we had a date though, etc. Don't hear back from her.

Have not contacted her since and she has not contacted me...these girls are so weird. Figure I will try to 'restart' next week....ughhh.

Post: #14

(05-19-2013 12:47 AM)Akula Wrote:  [quote='Gmac' pid='449263' dateline='1368922685']
Perfect example of a time where being conversationally direct gets results. Women won't admit it to themselves or others, but they secretly want a man who challenges her responses.

Makes sense.

I just had a girl flake on me - had 2 previous dates where I kiss closed, then almost [email protected] Felt like it was 'on' and I was destined to close on the next date. I went away for two weeks on vacation and she sends a text the first weekend with something like "we've seen each other the past three saturdays, and you're away now, it feels strange, I miss you." So I think it's on.

Then we set up a meet over the weekend, she flakes on the date telling me she has to go out of town. I don't respond - later I get a "are you upset?" text from her (clearly implying she knows she did something wrong). I don't respond until the next day and say I'm not really upset, thought we had a date though, etc. Don't hear back from her.

Have not contacted her since and she has not contacted me...these girls are so weird. Figure I will try to 'restart' next week....ughhh.

Anyway, it feel a bit like OPs situation, except I haven't [email protected] her yet so she's got less invested...but I think the above is a clear sh*t test and she's waiting for me to cave in....I think I might just move on but it's a good lead, wondering what to do (other than restart late next week).

Post: #15

Your response sounds like you were upset. You gotta keep it light and funny. Even a simple 'Who are you?' would have been better.

Post: #16

(05-18-2013 02:37 PM)lurker Wrote:  

(05-18-2013 02:43 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  1) how much work was the reopen?
2) sex worth it?
3) you punish her?

WIA

1) four short text messages back and forth
2) yep
3) OTK

(05-18-2013 10:26 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  when you describe the girl flaking, was that a full-on no-show, no-call; or just a turn-down?

just a turn-down, but late and terse. a full-on no-show would never get my attention again.

Wow, good story-- she took a spanking and started fucking again!
Nw I guess the interesting thing is if she'll keep being a submissive source of good sex.

If she keeps making you go through the sort of calculation you did here for this, would it be worth it to you?

If she orgasms a lot and does subby shit, and I had other chicks going so I wasn't moping around when she flaked I think I'd still keep at it.

Are you going to follow up more?

Post: #17

The best way to get girls to be even more flaky is to pander to the behavior I would suggest we all sit around talking about how to deal with flaky girls until we just burn out. Now if you actually want to encourage girls to not flake on you or any else is to simply not condone the behavior. As long as I have been reasonable with a girl and she chose to be flaky/unreasonable then fuck her. If we all took this attitude, the flaking would dramatically drop in a jiffy.

I recently told a solid 8 that sort of flaked on me by trying to get me to meet her and her friends: IF you want to see me again you will have to make plans ahead of time and keep them. Now, you can also keep doing what you have been doing and keep getting the men you have been getting.

Did I lose her? Yes. Did I want to? Yes (She was a bit too nutty.) Will she remember this? I have feeling she will. Will it change her behavior? Probably not but she may at least think twice about it.

Post: #18

(05-19-2013 05:46 PM)horn Wrote:  Your response sounds like you were upset. You gotta keep it light and funny. Even a simple 'Who are you?' would have been better.

yeah, I think u are right. I should have said something funny or witty, but I was jetlagged and had a good night out anyway and didn't let it bother me that evening, just didn't really know how to respond. Still have not re-opened her...she told me she has a 'gay friend' which is always a bad sign IMO.

Post: #19

(05-20-2013 10:08 AM)Akula Wrote:  ...she told me she has a 'gay friend' which is always a bad sign IMO.

LOL...I'll confirm this. Dogs too - if they are crazy about their dog.

Post: #20

Chasing has never worked for me, not once. Now naturally not caring and so on has.

Post: #21

Epilogue: She pulled the exact same move again after what was mentioned here. I deleted her number. Guess I was wrong.

Post: #22

The bottom line is, her actions will tell you all you need to know. If she's flaky from the start she will continue to be flaky. I have never once experienced a flaky girl suddenly stopped being flaky!

Post: #23

(05-19-2013 12:47 AM)Akula Wrote:  I just had a girl flake on me - had 2 previous dates where I kiss closed, then almost [email protected] Felt like it was 'on' and I was destined to close on the next date. I went away for two weeks on vacation and she sends a text the first weekend with something like "we've seen each other the past three saturdays, and you're away now, it feels strange, I miss you." So I think it's on.

Then we set up a meet over the weekend, she flakes on the date telling me she has to go out of town. I don't respond - later I get a "are you upset?" text from her (clearly implying she knows she did something wrong). I don't respond until the next day and say I'm not really upset, thought we had a date though, etc. Don't hear back from her.

Have not contacted her since and she has not contacted me...these girls are so weird. Figure I will try to 'restart' next week....ughhh.

I can't stand when girls start that "tit for tat" bullshit early on. From my experience, future relations with her will be either a battle of wits or any single thing she doesn't like you did, like go out of town, she'll use that shit right back at you.

Do you have time for all that? Curious to know how this turns out.