Post: #1

I have stopped getting girls numbers. Last night I went out and while I met quite a few girls I didn't ask for one number. There are only two situations now where I will ask for a girls number:

1. I have taken the interaction as far I as can and seeing each other again seems like a natural extension of our interaction. (I get a very strong feeling she wants to see me again.)

2. Either she or I am in a rush BUT I still get a strong feeling of some good chemistry.

What I won't do is get a number hoping that I will somehow turn things around by my slick texting game. Getting phone numbers can actually be hazardous to your mental health. Let me explain:

The moment you get a girl's number you become emotionally invested in seeing her again whether you want to or not. You can say to yourself you don't care what she does but it will still affect you. The moment you text that girl you become even more emotionally invested in that outcome. Every thought of her only increases your emotional investment. And like any kind of investment when it doesn't pan out you have to take a loss. And it doesn't feel good, doesn't matter what you tell yourself. Every phone number that doesn't produce a positive outcome incurs an emotional cost on you. It may seem very little but over time it adds up and have a cumulative effect: you start to become bitter and resentful.

Worse than that, if your mentally is that you are going out there to get phone numbers, then that's all you're going to get. If you tell yourself that this time is ALL you really have with this girl or any girl, you will want to make it count. Girls can also drags things out just for attention. They really have no intention of seeing you but like the attention. This is the reason they give out their numbers so easily: validation and attention. Today, more than money and status, this is your primary currency and what do we do? We just give it away...

When there is no tomorrow, today really begins to matter and you will stop wasting time with girls that are simply doing just that - wasting your fucking time.

Post: #2

? Who gets emotionally invested after a phone number? Also, how can you bang her if you don't have her number and didn't pull the one night stand?

I just get the numbers (if I couldn't fuck her that day then and there) and call her up. If she answers great if she didn't leave a quick voice mail. If she doesn't respond to the voicemail within an hour... she doesn't want to talk to me... Her loss move on.

Zero emotional investment. If a girl turns you down she's retarded, she just turned down the best guy who has talked to her since she learned to walk. So you walk.

Post: #3

(05-11-2013 11:51 PM)WestCoast Wrote:  ? Who gets emotionally invested after a phone number? Also, how can you bang her if you don't have her number and didn't pull the one night stand?

I just get the numbers (if I couldn't fuck her that day then and there) and call her up. If she answers great if she didn't leave a quick voice mail. If she doesn't respond to the voicemail within an hour... she doesn't want to talk to me... Her loss move on.

Zero emotional investment. If a girl turns you down she's retarded, she just turned down the best guy who has talked to her since she learned to walk. So you walk.

Pretty much what WestCoast is saying (or at least this should be the goal with 'getting numbers' and how I view them i.e. no emotional attachment it's just a means to an end and numbers game really).

OP maybe part of this is just 'quality control' and not making it a goal to get the number, but rather only focusing your efforts on girls who you know you're highly attracted to and will follow up? I mean I often talk to a lot of girls in a bar/club setting but don't make it a point to get each and every number (obviously). If anything I'm trying above all to be much more surgical and focused on only getting numbers for girls I know I wanna bang and who I know I'll follow up with. I admit over the past several months I've wasted a lot of time on many girls who were pretty borderline and I was 70-80% sure I wouldn't get there but ended up going through the motions.

Post: #4

@Akula you've got. Thanks for clarify things a bit but that is exactly what I am talking about: quality control.

I use to think like WestCoast and I really believed it and I am not saying that it isn't true for him BUT I know it's not true for me. I take a hit, even if it's a small one, when a number doesn't pan out. Same way I take a hit when any expectation doesn't pan out. But it's not only about quality control, it's also about forcing myself to live in the moment and to push the interaction as far I can take it. The mentally I am adopting is, imagine if I a girl told you she was flying back to her country tomorrow morning, what good is a phone number then?

Post: #5

relevent http://www.rooshv.com/the-no-dating-chal...te-players

/thread-8341.h...=no+dating

Post: #6

Always try for instadate first.

Else give your number. If she's interested she'll contact you.

Spin lots of plates so you can't get invested in any particular girl.

Use phone only to set up dates, not to have conversations.

Post: #7

Spinning plates take a certain amount of time and energy too. What I am saying is pick the plates more carefully. A huge part of any successful sales program is how well it screens people. This is what this post is about, implementing a more rigid screening process and sticking to it.

Post: #8

Nobody here goes out just to get numbers. We are looking to get laid that night. What's the harm in getting a number that could be a bang on another day?

If you get like two hundred numbers in your phone, than you'll have to be worried about remembering who's who- the opposite of getting emotionally invested. This what girls do- they've got so many numbers of different guys in their phones that they will forget who is who. You have to be playing on that kind of level.

You're in your head. Get out that their and get your interaction number higher. Don't cock block yourself with some approach anxiety hamster shit about the girls not being up to your caliber etc. Be more of a man and less feminine.

Post: #9

It's always good to know I can count on soup for some good ole fashion kick ass motivation Doesn't change my opinion or plan about drastically cutting back on numbers though. I actually went through my phone tonight and deleted every number that is not in play.

Post: #10

(05-12-2013 01:18 AM)Nomad77 Wrote:  It's always good to know I can count on soup for some good ole fashion kick ass motivation Doesn't change my opinion or plan about drastically cutting back on numbers though. I actually went through my phone tonight and deleted every number that is not in play.

Why would you delete numbers? It's just mental masturbation. I've had several bangs come about from numbers that were dormant for months. I only erase numbers when the girl has explicitly told me to do so or if she's moved out of town.

You're being sarcastic but you do need to get over yourself a little and not be so fragile. Go out and get shit done. I'm saying this because you remind of myself a little getting all intellectual about shit.

Post: #11

Well, I am running a little experiment. Let's see about the results because in the end that's all that matters. What works for you soup is based on your personality and environment, it may not work that well for someone else with a different personality in a different environment.

Post: #12

Taking numbers during night-game in large American cities doesn't even occur to me anymore.

Numbers are just too easy to get and the flake rate is just too high.

The ROI on going for a one night stand beats numbers every-time for American Tier I cities.

Post: #13

I delete dead end numbers too. Its a pride thing. If a girl doesn't respond to my text, means she isn't interested. I delete her number. On to next.

Post: #14

The hottest girl I banged last year was sleeper number.

Post: #15

i'm starting to see hamster mentality

Post: #16

I'm fast. I'm pretty. I can't possibly be beat.
Why digress. When you are the one they should impress.

Post: #17

Good debate here.

In my experience, the less I cared about any particular chick, the more chicks I got.
But the less I cared, the less satisfying it was.

WIA

Post: #18

So... You only take a number from a girl if you actually like her in some way?

Congratulations, you are one step closer to being a socially well-adjusted human being.

Post: #19

You can turn things around with slick text game don't kid yourself.

Post: #20

(05-12-2013 09:34 AM)Hoodlum Wrote:  So... You only take a number from a girl if you actually like her in some way?

Congratulations, you are one step closer to being a socially well-adjusted human being.

I smell woman poster

Post: #21

(05-12-2013 09:58 AM)soup Wrote:  

(05-12-2013 09:34 AM)Hoodlum Wrote:  So... You only take a number from a girl if you actually like her in some way?

Congratulations, you are one step closer to being a socially well-adjusted human being.

I smell woman poster

That you think I am trolling says more about you than it does about me... I was being serious, in a tongue-in-cheek fashion.

Post: #22

I concur with the Nomad. It depends on the city you are in. The lizards in South Florida are extremely vapid and there is too much distractions in their life to waste time with texting. The only reason to take the number is to close in the next day. Usually, when we meet reptiles, they are here for the weekend so they are gone by Sunday tops.

If we have not connected with them by Sat night or Sun morn at the very latest, then delete the number.

Numbers only work in smaller slower paced towns with less competition.

I took three numbers on Friday night to work out a possible connection for Sat night, only one of them responded (the Jamaican one, go figure) so I will delete ALL of them and refresh.

I always look at patterns and my return rate on old numbers is too low to waste valuable brain cycles processing that crap. There are too many lizards in Miami to fcuk around texting nonsense IMO.

Now Kansas might be a different kettle of fish..

Post: #23

I agree with Nomad that SOME numbers end up being a huge waste of time. More often then not I find myself in a circle jerk of logistical planning texting that ends up with her flaking and her number deleted.

But the girls around my age group are so damn addicted to their smartphones and those little sentences on their phone, it seems to be the only way they can interact with another human, which is why I push however far I can on the initial interaction.

Post: #24

(05-12-2013 12:22 AM)Nomad77 Wrote:  @Akula you've got. Thanks for clarify things a bit but that is exactly what I am talking about: quality control.

I use to think like WestCoast and I really believed it and I am not saying that it isn't true for him BUT I know it's not true for me. I take a hit, even if it's a small one, when a number doesn't pan out. Same way I take a hit when any expectation doesn't pan out. But it's not only about quality control, it's also about forcing myself to live in the moment and to push the interaction as far I can take it. The mentally I am adopting is, imagine if I a girl told you she was flying back to her country tomorrow morning, what good is a phone number then?

Sure glad I could help clarify a bit. I think your point about it not being only quality control but also pushing the interaction and "going for the bang" is very important here. It's something I just do not do a good job of, and I often 'settle' for the number and then move on to try to get more, when sometimes I she might be DTF right then and there. I admit I have a hard time recognizing this.

I think that there is also there's another element here of just needing to do a certain amount of approaches to build up your pipeline and make it big enough to placate you. I think sometimes I might have too high standards, which creates situations where I'm only approaching 1 or 2 girls on a given night, which is a bit lazy. It's a fine line between what ends up being acceptable I guess, and unfortunately I tend to drink a little more than I should so a lot of what looks good the night before turns out to be 1-2 notches lower than I thought - sort of like a SIF in online dating.

Post: #25

(05-12-2013 01:39 AM)soup Wrote:  The hottest girl I banged last year was sleeper number.

With these sleeper numbers, how do you hit them up later on?

Did she contact you out of the blue?