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Regaining Confidence
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POHammer Offline
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Post: #1
Regaining Confidence
I had a great time in Ukraine last year, but then I had to go back home to the USA.

I felt confident and met some great girls, but once back home my confidence plummeted to zero.

Now, I'm back in the Ukraine but not doing anything. I'm just walking around, doing nothing. Depressed and unmotivated.

How do I get back into the swing of things?
I haven't done any real approaching for several months.

My friend here got married since then and can't go out with me like before, but he's trying to give me advice and remind me how good things are...but I just seem stuck. How do I get myself free?
05-11-2013 10:19 AM
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A War You Cannot Win Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Regaining Confidence
You're in the Ukraine? Lift KBs, go roll with the local Sambo or boxing class. Once you get that testosterone pumping you'll feel like a king. Once you feel like a king, so Prima Nocta some bitches.
05-11-2013 10:45 AM
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Belize King Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Regaining Confidence
I feel confident after workouts and when I dress better than 95% of the other dudes out there. I dont know about Eastern European style but do some pushups, dips, air squats, and jumping jacks till you are smoked, take a shower, a power nap, put on you best outfit, some good cologne, read a few pages of the appproach and i just got laid thread, take two quick shots of vodka, and fucking day game. Malls or busy streets. After the first three approaches you will be good. Trust me.

We know you have Roosh's books right? Do a little reading duing your down time.

The cycle of disrespect can start with just an appetizer.
(This post was last modified: 05-11-2013 11:08 AM by Belize King.)
05-11-2013 11:05 AM
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POHammer Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Regaining Confidence
Hmm, agreed with the workouts. I took 2 weeks off to decompress after 8 weeks intense training, and I'm ready to hit the gym full speed again.

Regarding style and working out, I'm on top pf that. I dressed well today with a new pair of trendy sneakers and sunglasses. Although not lifting for the last week, I have been hiking for 4-5 hours a day.

Joining up some groups would be a good idea, need to build up a social life again.
(This post was last modified: 05-11-2013 11:40 AM by POHammer.)
05-11-2013 11:33 AM
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POHammer Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Regaining Confidence
Hmm, agreed with the workouts. I took 2 weeks off to decompress after 8 weeks intense training, and I'm ready to hit the gym full speed again.

Joining up some groups would be a good idea too.
05-11-2013 11:42 AM
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CJ Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Regaining Confidence
A lull like this happened to me last year, and it took awhile for me to break out. This had a lot to do with my dead-end job at the time, so finding a better job definitely helped. Working out is good, but you should also find a hobby. What are your passions? I would spend countless hours playing my guitar to take my focus off all the negativity I was confronting.

Aside from that, game can be a lot like riding a bike, sure if you haven't ridden for awhile you may be a bit wobbly at first, but it all comes back pretty quickly. Just start being conversational with anyone, talk about the weather until you realize how boring that is and start thinking of interesting things to discuss, like good places to go for hikes.

My guide for newbies to RVF.
05-11-2013 12:02 PM
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Valentine Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Regaining Confidence
I like Roosh's advice to just approach one girl a day. It's a very simple keystone habit which will lead to numbers, dates and lays.

Just start small with 1 girl a day, use the website Don't Break the Chain to make sure you stick to it and ban yourself from something until you do your approach e.g. having your daily coffee, reading a blog, reading this forum, etc.

Happy hunting.
05-11-2013 12:34 PM
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POHammer Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Regaining Confidence
(05-11-2013 12:34 PM)Valentine Wrote:  I like Roosh's advice to just approach one girl a day. It's a very simple keystone habit which will lead to numbers, dates and lays.

Just start small with 1 girl a day, use the website Don't Break the Chain to make sure you stick to it and ban yourself from something until you do your approach e.g. having your daily coffee, reading a blog, reading this forum, etc.

Happy hunting.

You're right, good way to get back into things
05-11-2013 01:33 PM
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POHammer Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Regaining Confidence
Also, maybe I'm not in the right country?
Maybe Ukraine was a good place to meet girls in the 1990s and early 2000s.....
maybe I should go to rural southeast asia now?

Suppose I don't have what it takes to succeed here, suppose I won't be able to learn how to do things properly....nowadays you read about guys online who "ghost" and give up on women entirely to become asexual. I'm not at that level, but still not sure where to go or what to do.


Maybe I should start lowering my standards? Just because other guys say she's "not pretty" doesn't mean I can't date her. If she's not fat and has an OK personality, maybe a 5 or 6 is OK?

In a dark room, its all the same, right? If I take time away from game by lowering standards, I'll be able to spend more time hiking and regional travelling.
(This post was last modified: 05-11-2013 04:24 PM by POHammer.)
05-11-2013 03:30 PM
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POHammer Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Regaining Confidence
aa
(This post was last modified: 05-11-2013 04:21 PM by POHammer.)
05-11-2013 04:09 PM
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iknowexactly Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Regaining Confidence
(05-11-2013 04:09 PM)POHammer Wrote:  Also, maybe I'm not in the right country?
Maybe Ukraine was a good place to meet girls in the 1990s and early 2000s.....
maybe I should go to rural southeast asia now?

Suppose I don't have what it takes to succeed here, suppose I won't be able to learn how to do things properly....nowadays you read about guys online who "ghost" and give up on women entirely to become asexual. I'm not at that level, but still not sure where to go or what to do.

Do you have anything you're interested in? Work backwards from a vision of where you want to be and what you want to be doing, specifically, so someone could paint a picture of it.

Then break it down into steps small enough that success at each step is at least 80% likely. Then do them.

Then write it down, you need some long range planning. You'll be old before you know it and then it's too late.
(This post was last modified: 05-11-2013 04:14 PM by iknowexactly.)
05-11-2013 04:13 PM
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POHammer Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Regaining Confidence
(05-11-2013 04:13 PM)iknowexactly Wrote:  [quote='POHammer' pid='443520' dateline='1368306560']
Do you have anything you're interested in?

Well yeah, already do that stuff (hiking by the river, visiting regional historic sites by train, cooking a nice porkchop or some ribs for dinner, etc.)

But moving around and losing confidence/getting out of practice, means I'll need to make such a detailed plan to rebuild a social life. Its like starting from scratch, but I guess thats what needs to be done.
05-12-2013 01:56 AM
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