Post: #1

Alright, I need some help. I'm semi successful with women and over the last six months a chick that I use to blow off all the time has warped into a serious girlfriend. The horrible thing is, somehow along the way I lost the upper hand and it is eating me alive. I care entirely too much and my neediness is just overflowing. I'm starting to notice small things rolling into her losing interest. Maybe I'm totally over reacting but I am obsessive about not getting ditched and left at the train station; so the minute i notice flakeyness setting in - i freak. I probably did the worst thing you can do in this situation and I confronted her about it..."why you getting flakey on me?" which is a totally retarded question to ask - because the answer is obvious. They're losing interest.

My question to the group is this......"How do i turn this ship around?" "I can't believe i was stupid enough to bring it up to her either so I'm worried the damage is done?"

"She say she isn't losing interest and we fuck quite a bit, but i just notice small stuff and i feel totally fucking vulnerable at this moment. Caring way too much for a girl that is going weak on me.

Any advice?

Post: #2

this is quite the problem, bc if yall been together for any amount of time if she is losing interest i cant see any way for you to right the ship unless you are a complete square. you need to be fun and spontaneous. you need to have good dialect with here (vibe). if you are doing these things then she should be failing for you harder and harder. there could be the possibility that she had found or is seeing someone else or has interest in them.

hope i could help.

Post: #3

The day that you start losing your girlfriend is the day you make her your girlfriend.

A little bit depressing, but very true; it's why I for the most part avoid LTRs. Easily the most enjoyable time of a relationship is the first few months, lots of sex and very little pressure. After that it slides downhill.

I would argue that it's more difficult to keep a strong, healthy relationship going than it is to be out there picking up new girls (especially if the girl is very attractive), and that guys who have done both will mostly agree with me.

It sounds like you could use a 'trip out of town for a week', so to speak. Make her miss you.

Post: #4

(07-11-2010 10:56 AM)Nonpareil Wrote:  The day that you start losing your girlfriend is the day you make her your girlfriend.

A little bit depressing, but very true; it's why I for the most part avoid LTRs. Easily the most enjoyable time of a relationship is the first few months, lots of sex and very little pressure. After that it slides downhill.

I would argue that it's more difficult to keep a strong, healthy relationship going than it is to be out there picking up new girls (especially if the girl is very attractive), and that guys who have done both will mostly agree with me.

It sounds like you could use a 'trip out of town for a week', so to speak. Make her miss you.

Yeah - i think a trip out of town might be the way to go. Odd, I can't tell you how in control of this thing I was and it's just so odd how i've lost that edge. I've lost my confidence in this thing and I need to get the alpha back. Just crazy. But maybe you're right, a trip out of town could be the way to go.

Post: #5

(07-11-2010 08:29 PM)yoyo Wrote:  

(07-11-2010 10:56 AM)Nonpareil Wrote:  The day that you start losing your girlfriend is the day you make her your girlfriend.

A little bit depressing, but very true; it's why I for the most part avoid LTRs. Easily the most enjoyable time of a relationship is the first few months, lots of sex and very little pressure. After that it slides downhill.

I would argue that it's more difficult to keep a strong, healthy relationship going than it is to be out there picking up new girls (especially if the girl is very attractive), and that guys who have done both will mostly agree with me.

It sounds like you could use a 'trip out of town for a week', so to speak. Make her miss you.

Yeah - i think a trip out of town might be the way to go. Odd, I can't tell you how in control of this thing I was and it's just so odd how i've lost that edge. I've lost my confidence in this thing and I need to get the alpha back. Just crazy. But maybe you're right, a trip out of town could be the way to go.

Trust me I've been there. Being an Alpha male and being a good boyfriend aren't two things that go hand in hand.

Going out of town for a while (provided you don't slip and say that 'you need a break' or call her nonstop while you're out) is a pretty solid gambit. Chicks generally don't appreciate or miss something until it's not there.

Post: #6

I would say rather than going out of town, take a step back and push her away a bit. Give her the gift of missing you. Everybody wants what they can't have.

Show her by your actions that you have no problem with walking away from the relationship if you have to. This is one of the most powerful things you can do to maintain the upper hand.

Post: #7

could someone clarify me please other than Roosh that if its a relationship forum as well....

Post: #8

You think your problem is losing the upper hand in a relationship. It's not. Your problem is here: "I am obsessive about not getting ditched and left at the train station." If you have that as a personality trait, you will never have the upper hand in any relationship.

Solution: Force yourself to not give a shit. Or force yourself to act as if you don't give a shit for awhile, then notice you haven't died. If you can't go cold turkey on giving a shit, try setting aside one day a week to give a shit and refrain from doing so on other days.

Post: #9

MrNice is right.

FOR GOD'S SAKE STOP THE WHINING!!!!!!!!!!

You have one-itis. Solution is simple. Pull back.

The best way to do it?

Go on a vacation to surf spot with lots of slutty backpacking tourists. Put your GF and you in perspective. Take loads of photos. Save your used condoms. Make sure she finds them when you get back.