Post: #1

To all the guys in the early 30s.... Are you still gaming because you love it and that's all you want to do... or are you ultimately looking for 'the one'? I'm suffering from severe 'grass is greener' syndrome and its starting to drive me crazy. When I'm single all i want to do is find a nice girl to settle down with. When I'm in a relationship... after the first 6 month all I can think about is chasing women again. I always imagined this would be the time of my life when I can put all the shit that comes with being single behind me. Chasing tail is a very time consuming business, not to mention expensive and bad for your health! But I cant stop dreaming about traveling and women!!... But damn I'm not going to live forever. If you have a good women, and you know it, should you risk it all again just because your cock tells you to?

Post: #2

the pleasure of a thousand or the love of one


Wilt Chamberlin slept with over 20,000 broads and sorry to say he died wanting to sleep with more. The desire to fuck other women is always going to be there. That does not mean you have to give into it. You may have a desire to sit on a couch and eat potato chips while watching t.v. but that would be disastrous for your health. Similarity, hooking up with a girl while you are married and or in a relationship would put your commitment at risk. Being with one woman with whom you have an emotional connection with can be deeply satisfying;however, you will sacrifice for that convenience (bye bye game).

You could always try and do both but if children come in the mix. I just don't see how one can pull off trying to live the player lifestyle while at the same time raise a family. Personally, I am not morally opposed to cheating on a woman but I am morally opposed to cheating on a woman with whom you have a family with. Divorce, broken home, etc does a lot of damage to children and they would be victims of your own selfishness.

To answer your question I think it depends on your level of emotional maturity. Going around fucking women all day may satisify the wounded child within you but it is not a source of stablity. Eventually boredom of such an adolescent lifestyle will push one into adulthood. I have seen 50 year old men still acting like teenagers though, Nas's song Second Childhood comes to mind.

Ish

Post: #3

Here's a re-post from a previous thread. May not be the right answer but it's the best I've been able to come up with:


In my humble opinion, the best answer I've found is to adopt the lifestyle of historically famous sailors/explorers. They'd have a woman and family back home where they were were worshipped as grand adventurers who brought fortunes home from abroad for the glory of the empire.

When they were in their homes, they'd enjoy all the comforts of family, companionship, and rest/relaxation.

However, they'd soon get the itch to travel to new, distant lands once again. Therefore, once again they would embark on new adventures abroad and of course, discreetly keep lovers in every port.

The key is to find a good woman to settle down with who can understand this lifestyle, and give you the freedom you need when you need it.

I think it can work if you're successful enough, worldly enough, and yes, financially well-off enough, to design your life in such a manner.

Positives:

1. You're not shitting where you live. You're faithful within the national boundary of the nation in which you reside :-)

2. You're not keeping "long-term" mistresses nearby -- the negative energy caused by the daily deception needed to keep nearby mistresses will likely kill your primary relationship IMO. See Tiger Woods for daily deception/negative energy going out of control.

3. You and your woman will miss each other with the time spent away from one another. This is a good thing. If you don't miss each other, it's also a good thing -- it lets both of you know the relationship is valueless to one another.

4. If you have a kid(s), then it lets the relationship "continue" with some normality while allowing for you to get release from the daily grind of an unsatisfactory relationship or the semi-castrating feeling of being and seen as "daddy" 24/7.

5. It lets you feel like a man. Take risks, explore new lands, conquer new women, meet new people, embrace new opportunities. This is what we were born to do.

6. It lets you appreciate what you have. A woman who loves you, a family that cares of you, and the comforts of a life partner back home, without throwing it all away just to "be single." This is especially important for warding off cynicism/jadedness towards women. And for those times when you strike out/get rejected. Sometimes, all we want is to experience the freedom of being single again, the ability to hunt freely without looking over our shoulders, and the actual f*cking is not all that important (assuming you've gotten your rocks off in some way already).

7. You're not proposing something "weird" that most girls would reject -- like becoming swingers, proclaiming yourself to be polyamorous, or asking for an open relationship.

8. 3-4 months by yourself in a new country can teach you a lot about how the world works, make you more confident & independent, and open up all kinds of new doors for you. Even without the potential of fucking new women, it's a wonderful thing. Think of it as the study abroad experience that you never had, except now with the wisdom and resources to do the things your awkward teenage-self could never do.

Negatives:

1. It costs money. Lots of it, depending on how you roll. I am envisioning spending several months abroad from your primary home during one stint.

2. Women generally can feel when her man is straying. Your woman may not remain faithful to you if you are away for too long. In other words, the relationship has to be something you're willing to lose. But as far as I'm concerned, this is how a guy SHOULD be in every relationship. It may hurt like hell, but you have to be willing to cut her off from your life and she has to KNOW that you're capable of this if she crosses the line one too many times.

3. Might get difficult to justify spending 3-4 months every year in the fucking capitals of the world for "business" :-) Ideal girlfriend back home should have the attitude -- do what you need to do, I don't really want to know all the details, I'm just happy you come back home to me a better man.

4. You may fall in love with a newer, younger, hotter...maybe even *better*...woman. But by this time, hopefully you'll know what "better" really means and wiser to the ebbs and flows of a relationship (hot in the beginning, warm in the middle, with a fast drop off after 3-4 years once the sex gets old). In other words, just because you're fucking your new girl night & day does NOT necessarily mean she's the right girl for you. However, this is *danger* territory as relationships with women abroad that go beyond purely sexual/short-term romantic flings MAY have a significant effect on how you view your primary home relationship.

5. Your job may not be location-independent. But if it's not, you should work towards making it so.

6. With the Internet, any new women you meet in these distant lands may want to keep in touch with you when you go back home. If this becomes daily contact via e-mail/chat, then you would be in spiritual violation of #2 above (not shitting where you live). I believe it would be important to have your flings and leave them as just that -- romantic, passion-filled flings that are in your past and be the good lover/boyfriend when you are back home.

7. If you have a girl AND a kid(s), then 3-4 months is a long time to spend away from them. Kids need a father-figure. However, when you DO return to your home environment, I believe the time spent away will make you appreciate your kid a lot more. This is not really my forte so someone else may want to chime in with parenting issues and consequences. One possible idea is to have a "family-oriented location" where you, your primary girlfriend, and kid can spent time together exploring and enjoying a new land once in a while. This way, they don't feel like they're constantly "left behind" while you go on adventures and can also enjoy the international lifestyle you've adopted to a certain degree.

8. You don't want to have to "start over" (new friends, new place, new women) all the time. It may be worth finding a few favorite places and building up a network there so that you can re-visit them with greater ease and convenience in the future. I once read that people feel psychologically reassured by routine and that it is good for you. You probably don't want your life to be perpetual, jet-lagged chaos.


I'd be interested to hear others thoughts on this model as well as it's something that's somewhat theoretical for me. But based on my experience as well as those of my older friends, it seems viable.

Post: #4

Some very good reading. I have some thinking to do and will write back.

Post: #5

Do it the old fashioned way.

Marry a good woman and raise your family. Treat her right.

Occasionally cheat with hot bimbos when the situation is right. (vacation, business trips, guys night out, old high school flame contacts you, young office intern has a thing for you)

Always go home to your family. Keep the bimbos in their proper place.

Post: #6

kindred: Pretty brilliant model if I say so myself. How did you come up with it?

I've been doing parts of that for the past couple years. I travel, sow the wild oats, then come back to D.C. where I ground myself with family, friends, and work until I get the itch again. Some people ask me why I don't simply stay abroad indefinitely, but coming back home is important to not only keep me happy but to build the hunger for more travel. Every man needs somewhere to call "home".

Post: #7

(07-01-2010 10:23 AM)Richie Wrote:  To all the guys in the early 30s.... Are you still gaming because you love it and that's all you want to do... or are you ultimately looking for 'the one'? I'm suffering from severe 'grass is greener' syndrome and its starting to drive me crazy. When I'm single all i want to do is find a nice girl to settle down with. When I'm in a relationship... after the first 6 month all I can think about is chasing women again. I always imagined this would be the time of my life when I can put all the shit that comes with being single behind me. Chasing tail is a very time consuming business, not to mention expensive and bad for your health! But I cant stop dreaming about traveling and women!!... But damn I'm not going to live forever. If you have a good women, and you know it, should you risk it all again just because your cock tells you to?

See Al Gore and Billy Clinton....
For me, with people living well into their 90's why would I quit now when in reality I'm in the best years of my life looks/health wise? Plus, my access has opened up significantly more. I now have women in their 20's-30's-40's to hang out with and the 30's-40's sumthings being the most laid back effortless relationships to manage. It's the youngins who wear you out with all the bullshit they think matters because bet/mtv told them so or some stupid magazine....enjoy your life and live it hard..if your girl pushes back just tell her you travel for enlightenment and growth..Kindred is absolutely spot on about his principles...very good info to follow..

Post: #8

I've dreamt of the plan kindred's laid out here. It's perfect down to the last detail.

Post: #9

(07-01-2010 02:52 PM)Roosh Wrote:  kindred: Pretty brilliant model if I say so myself. How did you come up with it?

I've been doing parts of that for the past couple years. I travel, sow the wild oats, then come back to D.C. where I ground myself with family, friends, and work until I get the itch again. Some people ask me why I don't simply stay abroad indefinitely, but coming back home is important to not only keep me happy but to build the hunger for more travel. Every man needs somewhere to call "home".

Yup, there's no place like home. I'd just point out that "home" may not necessarily be the U.S. It started out as the US for me, but eventually, home ended up being another country altogether. These things evolve as our personal situations change.

Post: #10

(07-01-2010 10:23 AM)Richie Wrote:  To all the guys in the early 30s.... Are you still gaming because you love it and that's all you want to do... or are you ultimately looking for 'the one'? I'm suffering from severe 'grass is greener' syndrome and its starting to drive me crazy. When I'm single all i want to do is find a nice girl to settle down with. When I'm in a relationship... after the first 6 month all I can think about is chasing women again. I always imagined this would be the time of my life when I can put all the shit that comes with being single behind me. Chasing tail is a very time consuming business, not to mention expensive and bad for your health! But I cant stop dreaming about traveling and women!!... But damn I'm not going to live forever. If you have a good women, and you know it, should you risk it all again just because your cock tells you to?

Damn dude, I was mulling over this same issue lately myself. When I'm single, I start thinking of all the bad things about being single. Having to be "out there" at clubs and bars, doing that same shit week after week can get tiresome. Dealing with the flakes, bitch shields, spending money on covers and drinks at the club, etc etc. Then you're like damn it would be nice to just have a dope girl to chill with at home and watch a movie and not deal with all this bullshit out in the field. Then when you do have a girl, that same pussy starts getting old after half a year. Then you hear about friends out there hooking up and you start feeling like you're missing out on something.

As for the guys here speaking of finding a girl at home and then doing your thing on the side. I can't get into that on principal. I mean I know many good guys have moments of weakness and give in, but going into a serious relationship already knowing you're going to play the field on the side just isn't something I could do.

Post: #11

Thats because we have had it knocked into us from an early age that polygamy is bad and monogamy is good. These are CHRISTIAN and JEWISH values that have become moral defaults.

Why?

Men build harems and there is nothing wrong with it. Monogamy is a cultural thing.

Post: #12

what makes you think that you have to chose

i have a lot of girlfriends. they all know i have other girlfriends and are cool with it

monogamy is a sexual perversion

Post: #13

(07-04-2010 05:52 AM)Whoremonger Wrote:  Men build harems and there is nothing wrong with it. Monogamy is a cultural thing.

Yeah but in ancient times when harems were common, the women knew about it and accepted that as part of the package. It's a different thing to tell a girl she's the one and only when you have intentions of looking for a harem. I'm not on here to tell anyone else how to live their life, just saying that it is a form of deception that you have to live with on your conscious. Not everyone wants to complicate their life like that.

Post: #14

(07-04-2010 08:13 AM)Lumiere Wrote:  what makes you think that you have to chose

i have a lot of girlfriends. they all know i have other girlfriends and are cool with it

monogamy is a sexual perversion

Well there you go. We're talking about a situation where the girls accept it for what it is. I don't think there's anything wrong with that since they know upfront that that's part of the bargain.

Post: #15

(07-04-2010 04:31 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

(07-04-2010 08:13 AM)Lumiere Wrote:  what makes you think that you have to chose

i have a lot of girlfriends. they all know i have other girlfriends and are cool with it

monogamy is a sexual perversion

Well there you go. We're talking about a situation where the girls accept it for what it is. I don't think there's anything wrong with that since they know upfront that that's part of the bargain.

We need a solid definition of "girlfriend".

Roosh wrote it somewhere that any decent girl who isn't crazy is going to have a real problem with multiple girlfriends. I agree with that.

As far as polygamy is concerned, I live about 20 miles from a tremendous amount of Fundamentalist Mormons. There's also Brigham Young University of Hawaii up there. They have a bunch of beachfront mansions their church uses as retreat centers. I've been in them, they have bunkbeds and not little kid bunkbeds. A guy I picked up from one said the beds were for "members of my family." They're up to something spooky, I could feel it.

Now, Mormon girls are great to have sex with. The bulk of them are really good looking. They take great care of their bodies, and are very athletic. The ones you'll bang are young because they're brainwashed into thinking if they aren't married by 22 they're going to hell. They don't believe in wax, but they shave all of the hair off themselves everyday. They also have had a low number of sexual partners, especially ones who know how do it right, so they get horny as hell and are very easy to guide.

The downside is after sex they usually cry and lock themselves in your bathroom for 2 hours. Or, even better, they invite you to their church gatherings. When you refuse, they get mad. There's something not right about them.

Utah is always 1st in the "healthiest state" rankings, but lowest in the mental health rankings. The point is, Mormon girls as an example, are ok with the multiple husband thing, but they're nuts to begin with.

Aloha!

Post: #16

(07-04-2010 07:24 PM)Kona Wrote:  We need a solid definition of "girlfriend".

my definition would be the same as society's definition but without the monogamy part and the jealousy and possessive b.s. that goes with it

(07-04-2010 07:24 PM)Kona Wrote:  Roosh wrote it somewhere that any decent girl who isn't crazy is going to have a real problem with multiple girlfriends. I agree with that.

and that is the way your reality is going to pan out if that is what you believe

Post: #17

(07-04-2010 07:24 PM)Kona Wrote:  

(07-04-2010 04:31 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

(07-04-2010 08:13 AM)Lumiere Wrote:  what makes you think that you have to chose

i have a lot of girlfriends. they all know i have other girlfriends and are cool with it

monogamy is a sexual perversion

Well there you go. We're talking about a situation where the girls accept it for what it is. I don't think there's anything wrong with that since they know upfront that that's part of the bargain.

We need a solid definition of "girlfriend".

Roosh wrote it somewhere that any decent girl who isn't crazy is going to have a real problem with multiple girlfriends. I agree with that.

As far as polygamy is concerned, I live about 20 miles from a tremendous amount of Fundamentalist Mormons. There's also Brigham Young University of Hawaii up there. They have a bunch of beachfront mansions their church uses as retreat centers. I've been in them, they have bunkbeds and not little kid bunkbeds. A guy I picked up from one said the beds were for "members of my family." They're up to something spooky, I could feel it.

Now, Mormon girls are great to have sex with. The bulk of them are really good looking. They take great care of their bodies, and are very athletic. The ones you'll bang are young because they're brainwashed into thinking if they aren't married by 22 they're going to hell. They don't believe in wax, but they shave all of the hair off themselves everyday. They also have had a low number of sexual partners, especially ones who know how do it right, so they get horny as hell and are very easy to guide.

The downside is after sex they usually cry and lock themselves in your bathroom for 2 hours. Or, even better, they invite you to their church gatherings. When you refuse, they get mad. There's something not right about them.

Utah is always 1st in the "healthiest state" rankings, but lowest in the mental health rankings. The point is, Mormon girls as an example, are ok with the multiple husband thing, but they're nuts to begin with.

Aloha!

LOL. Props for banging Mormon girls. I didn't even know this was a possibility given their religious nature.

Post: #18

This might be a surprise to guys who have not hung around Mormon girls. They are big time sluts. I know, it goes against everything you read and probably think about Mormon people but its the truth. When I was in high school my friends and I started hanging around a group of girls from a rich private high school. Mormon girls. They were rich, classy, and beautiful white girls. They would act very proper and talk religon around their friends but when they got around us it was like they were on vacation in Vegas. They turned into party girls. I grew up thinking Mormons were strict and prude etc. These girls were wild, it was almost like they were living a double life. As I got older I met more Mormon girls and I found this double life thing to be a common thing. They act they way they are supposed too around other Mormons but when they get a chance to let loose they really go for it.


I think being so strict about sex only makes these girls want to do it more.

Post: #19

I've known some Mormons pretty well. The majority of them don't seem to fit the strict Mormon stereotype. Other than their weird religious beliefs and not drinking alcohol, they were no different than anyone else. Wait, come to think of it, some of them did drink alcohol. They also seemed to have pretty normal sex lives. They weren't into the waiting till marriage thing at all.

Post: #20

I have noticed that the rich white beautiful girls tend to be the wildest and most promiscuous.

I remember doing one who was heiress to a worldwide brand (think a brand as famous as Chivas Regal and you get the picture) and she not only jumped into bed with me (actually it was on the kitchen floor followed by my bed), but it was also bareback action all night long without any questions asked. Crazy.

Post: #21

(07-05-2010 01:05 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  I've known some Mormons pretty well. The majority of them don't seem to fit the strict Mormon stereotype. Other than their weird religious beliefs and not drinking alcohol, they were no different than anyone else. Wait, come to think of it, some of them did drink alcohol. They also seemed to have pretty normal sex lives. They weren't into the waiting till marriage thing at all.

haha..yeah, but if your in a relationship with them, your in a relationship with their family too. Then you have to deal with mommy and daddy mormon's expectations. But you can probably avoid that dating them away from where their parents live.

Post: #22

Speaking of being 30 and dating, one great thing about being a man is it is much easier to score younger chicks when you are older than for a girl to score younger guys.

Post: #23

I agree Im 34 and I really believe I might have ten years of choosing any age range of girls and women providing I keep fit..its amazing

Post: #24

(07-01-2010 10:23 AM)Richie Wrote:  When I'm single all i want to do is find a nice girl to settle down with. When I'm in a relationship... after the first 6 month all I can think about is chasing women again.

I'm nowhere near 30, but that's always been the case for me. The grass is always greener on the other side.

I like kindred's model a lot. Although, as stated, once kids come into the picture, it'd be tough to pull 3-4 months away at a time, especially every year... maybe it could be done in shorter stints as well though... 2-4 weeks at a time every few months or so?

I do believe there is value in finding a women to settle down with and call your own, but the desire to chase tail will also never leave. I think the not shitting where you sleep part of kindred's model is key here... do your dirt in foreign countries and don't let the shit come back home to you...

Post: #25

Some great stuff here people... I agree that Monogamy is a cultural thing but I still try to rely on my human instincts as much as possible. In fact I use my manly urges as an excuse to exercise my right to sew my seeds. But I have a bit of a double standard here... I wouldnt want my girlfriend going off behind my back and so when I do, my conscious kicks in. A playboy should probably commit to being single otherwise isnt he just a cheat and a liar? And by the way no decent women is going to accept an open relationship.. thats basically just a fuck buddy. Sometimes I just don't think its possible to have ones cake and eat it without somekind of repercussions. I mean how long can you realistically bugger off on your travels for per year. THe natural thing to do would be to take your girlfriend with you. THe fact of the matter is I don't want to take my girlfriend with my. My experience of traveling is so much richer when Im going solo. Couples on holiday are so dull.
I thought 30 was the time of my life to settle down but you guys are so right. Now Im 31, the 20 somethings are so much more appealing and my game is 100 times better than when I was in my 20s. I'm just becoming a dirty old man that can get away with it ; )