Post: #1

hug or shake hands?

Im thinking hug to build some touching connection and make her feel comfortable but I dont want to push her away either by doing this.

I'm in a mid tier city in the usa

Post: #2

This was my first time on okcupid where we only had a brief conversation with each other yesterday and all I know about her is her first name. I feel like Hug is the definite answer but I dont want to have to recover if she reacts weirdly since we barely know each other.

Post: #3

Shake hands? You only do that to other dudes or some old woman you have no interest in.

Give her a hug and a kiss on both cheeks.

Post: #4

Never shake hands. Hug.

Also, there's already a thread on OKcupid that answers this exact question. Do a search next time.

Post: #5

(04-15-2013 07:42 PM)murrb Wrote:  shake hands?

Post: #6

I depends a little on what culture you are dating in. In a western country you obviously hug, but if it is a conservative SE Asian girl I`d consider just shake her hand if I hadn`t talked to for a long time. This to make her feel "safe" with you and hide the fact that you are a player waiting to bend her over.

Post: #7

I don't do either. I touch her on the upper arm

If she initiates a shake or hug I return it I return it but only slightly

i want her to feel that she has to win me over

Post: #8

(04-15-2013 07:42 PM)murrb Wrote:  hug or shake hands?

Im thinking hug to build some touching connection and make her feel comfortable but I dont want to push her away either by doing this.

I'm in a mid tier city in the usa

vaginal penetration

Post: #9

(04-15-2013 08:11 PM)CThunder86 Wrote:  Shake hands? You only do that to other dudes or some old woman you have no interest in.

Give her a hug and a kiss on both cheeks.

I agree with this one -- a kiss on both cheeks will get her attention -- very European in style and it will get her attention.

Post: #10

A huge hug. Pick her up and spin her around. Kiss on the cheek than try the lips. Go big son.

Post: #11

(04-15-2013 07:42 PM)murrb Wrote:  hug or shake hands?

Im thinking hug to build some touching connection and make her feel comfortable but I dont want to push her away either by doing this.

I'm in a mid tier city in the usa

Say what?

"Two Kisses Greeting" for all females.

Always.

Post: #12

haha next time I will do hug. This girl looked like a cute little asian on her pictures but I think they must've been at least 3 or 4 years old. I should've taken the hint when she told me she had been in a car wreck recently and hasn't been able to work out in awhile.

Post: #13

(04-15-2013 10:10 PM)murrb Wrote:  haha next time I will do hug. This girl looked like a cute little asian on her pictures but I think they must've been at least 3 or 4 years old. I should've taken the hint when she told me she had been in a car wreck recently and hasn't been able to work out in awhile.

F*ck the hug.

Are you meeting your Grandmother on OKStupid?

What part of "Two Kisses Greeting" don't you understand?

Post: #14

(04-15-2013 07:42 PM)murrb Wrote:  hug or shake hands?

Im thinking hug to build some touching connection and make her feel comfortable but I dont want to push her away either by doing this.

I'm in a mid tier city in the usa

This your first time nigga?

Start with a hug...
THEN go for the kiss.

ALWAYS.

Post: #15

if you're meeting a girl from okcupid I think a handshake is fine. a lot of times the girl will say, "no, let's hug" which is a good sign.

I'm usually escalating within 2 minutes anyway, using my hands to guide her to her seat, touching her when asking a question, etc. - so the physical contact (or lack thereof) I make in the first 5 seconds of meeting her doesn't matter much.

Post: #16

(04-15-2013 10:27 PM)plague Wrote:  I'm usually escalating within 2 minutes anyway, using my hands to guide her to her seat, touching her when asking a question, etc. - so the physical contact (or lack thereof) I make in the first 5 seconds of meeting her doesn't matter much.

On point. Hugging/kissing a girl you've never seen in person before is awkward (in the US at least), unless you can do it with conviction. Don't do it because you feel obligated by the conventional wisdom.

I don't touch her at all on the introduction unless she dives into the hug; if she's uncomfortable that's great, it'll make her hamster spin even while she is getting used to your touching with escalation.

Post: #17

I always go for the hug and if she sticks her hand out I'll just say "come here, I'm a hugger" and I don't think I've ever been denied. Also what Plauge said. Start the kino immediately and don't let up.

Post: #18

(04-15-2013 11:06 PM)BarkChompson Wrote:  

(04-15-2013 10:27 PM)plague Wrote:  I'm usually escalating within 2 minutes anyway, using my hands to guide her to her seat, touching her when asking a question, etc. - so the physical contact (or lack thereof) I make in the first 5 seconds of meeting her doesn't matter much.

On point. Hugging/kissing a girl you've never seen in person before is awkward (in the US at least), unless you can do it with conviction. Don't do it because you feel obligated by the conventional wisdom.

I don't touch her at all on the introduction unless she dives into the hug; if she's uncomfortable that's great, it'll make her hamster spin even while she is getting used to your touching with escalation.

This is the best answer here.

Don't force anything. You have to be calibrated to your own and her state of mind. Are you smiling? Is she smiling? Does it feel like you two are happy to see each other despite it being the first time you meet? Go for it.

The best way to fuck it up: anticipate the whole thing and decide that you're going to hug her because the Internet said so. Out comes the awkward hug.

Post: #19

You guys are rationalizing your fears. If you feel awkward about it's going to come out awkwar. Do it with the right energy and she will follow your lead.

Post: #20

two kisses sometimes, sometimes I just hold my hand out and say "hey, let's go" and pull her along and within a minute she'll have her arm around mine as we walk

Post: #21

Next time, as you're walking up to greet her initiate physical contact with a innocent fun move. Like reaching out your hands or putting hand up for hi five, etc. Once she goes for it (she should) you can do whatever you want to get physical. For example, gently but firmly pull her in and put her hands on your neck, let go and put your hands on her hips. Or spin her around and put your hands on your chest and molest yourself. Then you can take it further and fool around acting like you dance and stuff. But whatever it is the "fun" factor makes your advances cool and not creepy.

Basically, start innocent, lead from there and make it fun. It's smooth as fuck and sets the proper frame instantly.

In real life it looks kind of like this..

Hi 5 version..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jInlcDB7Trg&t=01m17s
[it's innocent so the girls is likely to comply]

Hand Of God version..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlWrFgIR6CU&t=05m14s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o8k430ufLA&t=07m05s
[it's innocent so the girls is likely to comply]

Hugging version..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o8k430ufLA&t=08m16s [the key with this one is to smile and signal to the girl you're going for the hug from the distance early on so as you walking by with your hands she sees you're what you're about to do and that you're fun and relaxed so she won't be weirded out as she might be if you did it out of the blue close to her]




Meanwhile... a circus acrobat hides the fact from his GF that he's HIV positive because he didn't want to "ruin her life".

Post: #22

A handshake is reserved for male friends, business partners or prospects, colleagues, or your elders. A hug is reserved for female friends and women you have known for a while and are comfortable with. When meeting a date, or just being introduced a new, casual, female aquaintance by someone else for the first time what I do is give them one or two kisses on the cheeks. Normally I always give two but it depends on whether or not I know or guess they are European or of European descent but I usually dont give it much thought since it's mostly a spontanious action on my part and Im not going to stop in the middle of going for the second kiss. As for your particular situation always kiss on the cheek. Simply doing that sets you apart from many other guys.

Post: #23

I think a Borat-style high five would charm the pants off her myself.

Post: #24

(04-15-2013 11:06 PM)BarkChompson Wrote:  

(04-15-2013 10:27 PM)plague Wrote:  I'm usually escalating within 2 minutes anyway, using my hands to guide her to her seat, touching her when asking a question, etc. - so the physical contact (or lack thereof) I make in the first 5 seconds of meeting her doesn't matter much.

On point. Hugging/kissing a girl you've never seen in person before is awkward (in the US at least), unless you can do it with conviction. Don't do it because you feel obligated by the conventional wisdom.

I don't touch her at all on the introduction unless she dives into the hug; if she's uncomfortable that's great, it'll make her hamster spin even while she is getting used to your touching with escalation.

I redact my previous stance.

That last post was right after I didn't go for a hug, and she happened to be young so I just bludgeoned her with value: a fool's mate. Last night's date and an impromptu lunch date today I started with hugs, and they both went really well.

If you feel like a hug at the start would be awkward, reevaluate your priorities and get your shit together until it doesn't. If you're going on dates with the intention of fucking them sooner or later, a hug or double kiss or whatever is the obvious choice. You're starting the interaction with the precedent that you are comfortable with touching them and not a frozen, terrified baby deer.

If you can't lead them through a simple introductory hug, how are they supposed to trust you to lead them through sex?

Post: #25

(04-17-2013 02:30 PM)BarkChompson Wrote:  If you feel like a hug at the start would be awkward, reevaluate your priorities and get your shit together until it doesn't.

Gold.

Also, the 2-kissing tek is most likely not going to be congruent with most American guys IMO. Although I suppose you'd have to start somewhere.. depends on the crowd of your city.