Post: #26

Harems are a nice insurance policy, a well diversified portfolio of break-glass-when-in-need-of-pussy put options.

However, they are also moral hazards. When you know your harem is too big (for you) to fail to get laid, you become more loathe to approach fresh leads, due to lack of motivation and lack of time.

Once you start approaching en masse again, you will wonder why you even kept a stupor-inducing and time-sucking harem in the first place.

Then you will start accumulating a new harem and get lazy and too busy again.

The circle of life.

Post: #27

Hope you recovering nicely and rebuilding your harem!

I wanted to elaborate on my post about you having an internal "hold up" in regards to these girls affecting your self identity because I think it is important for all guys on this forum to understand.

In general, women want to be with a man who is "unshakable".

What do I mean by this? Well, they want their man to be a big mountain in the background, who will always be there for them with that same strong frame that seduced them, unwilling to change his ways.

This applies to many aspects of game.

For example: when a girl flakes on you I find it fascinating that people on this forum will even suggest "calling her out on it".

OR

If a girl is shit-testing you by flirting with another guy at a club in front of you, is it going to be something that shakes your frame? OR are you going to be that stable, chill, cool guy in the background that can't be affected by her small games?

Being a stable mountain in the background would involve BEING COMPLETELY UNAFFECTED BY HER ACTIONS BECAUSE YOU ARE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT.

So, given the fact that you are feeling so down from a mere harem collapse makes me think that you aren't totally comfortable with yourself yet since you still have a reliance on other people to dictate your self worth.

To solve this I think it is important to move from a belief of:

HAPPINESS = MATERIAL GAINS

TO

HAPPINESS = INTERNAL BELIEF

I am not saying it's unnatural to be a little miffed. But rather than being in a deep funk, I would rather view it as an inconvenience.

Similar to Gio, I actually get a rush of energy and excitement in the fact that I get to build up a new harem.

Hope this helps and you are on a speedy road to recovery!

Post: #28

^^ Solid Gold.

Main girl shook me by texting/talking on the phone with a married dude she was having an affair with in front of me (while in bed with me after 2 full days of fucking). Now that's probably behavior that's worthy of ejection but I should have done it coldly and calmly. Instead I flipped my shit. I think that lead me putting off the kind of vibe that's killing it with the other girls.

Post: #29

(04-05-2013 03:53 AM)Ensam Wrote:  ^^ Solid Gold.

Main girl shook me by texting/talking on the phone with a married dude she was having an affair with in front of me (while in bed with me after 2 full days of fucking). Now that's probably behavior that's worthy of ejection but I should have done it coldly and calmly. Instead I flipped my shit. I think that lead me putting off the kind of vibe that's killing it with the other girls.

Absolutely brother. You need to laugh at the petty shit they pull. Alternatively, there is nothing wrong with voicing how you feel by calmly saying to her:

"Listen, I have no intention of controlling your actions or who you sleep with as I AM NOT TRYING TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND. So feel free to hook up with other men, as I will be doing the same with other girls. That being said, I just ask that you don't do it blatantly in front of me"

Try that on for a size next time!

Post: #30

hahah, I lost my shit when I found out a girl I had been hooking up with for over a year, had 2 BFs (separately) who she didn't have sex with. Most innocent looking asian girl.

I was pre-roosh forum at that time. I felt crushed by such blatant girl hypocirsy. Ahh, youth.

Post: #31

Great fucking thread, helping a lot. Had 2 chicks i was fucking and haven't been able to recover. Gonna hit the gym hard and get my shit together.

Post: #32

Great thread and very timely. You guys have no idea how much you help keep me on track.

My story is a little different. I was in an LTR with a girl who happened to be the best of a recent bunch but I was keeping my options open, or so I thought. It turns out that I let all the other options get away from me because of LTR girl. I recently got bored with LTR girl and realized it and realized at the same time that I had become completely complacent. So I turned her loose with no pipeline. Just because she was boring. So now I'm rebuilding slowly. One approach at a time.

Post: #33

(04-07-2013 10:10 PM)Sphere Wrote:  Great thread and very timely. You guys have no idea how much you help keep me on track.

My story is a little different. I was in an LTR with a girl who happened to be the best of a recent bunch but I was keeping my options open, or so I thought. It turns out that I let all the other options get away from me because of LTR girl. I recently got bored with LTR girl and realized it and realized at the same time that I had become completely complacent. So I turned her loose with no pipeline. Just because she was boring. So now I'm rebuilding slowly. One approach at a time.

Great! Report your progress, approach by approach, for us in this forum. Would be some good learning for everyone to document your journey.

Post: #34

The solution to me has been approaching. If I have a chance to interact with a girl who passes the boner test I take it. It feels good. I've just been going super direct. Minor chit chat, then hey, I want to take you out, put your number in my phone. So far the girls have all been flattered and seem open to hanging out. I'm texting with one and playing phone tag with another. My attitude is the bang will happen.

Post: #35

(04-08-2013 10:37 AM)Ensam Wrote:  The solution to me has been approaching.

Thats the solution to 99% of gaming problems!!!

How do I increase my confidence?
How do I pull hotter girls?
How do I improve my game?
How do I get over fear?
How do I rebuild my harem?

The answer is always the same..

Talk to more girls. Talk to hotter girls. Repeat.