Post: #1

I just swiped the metaphorical credit card. I'm set on going, no pulling out now.

I've been seeing a local girl. She's 23, very attractive, wants to move slow (re: probably getting dick on the side) and I haven't been able to close the deal yet. Consider me a greater beta; despite my cavalier and ruthlessly scientific approach to gender relations and romance, there's a part of my psychology that I haven't yet been able to snuff out yet, and that's the enjoyment of 'love', whatever that is.

I'll skip all the details and cut to the epiphany:

"It can't be this hard."

Let's set aside the fact that this girl was by far the most reasonable prospect I've met in quite a long time; intelligent, attractive, interested, young. She's not perfect, but she's very qualified for the position. The sheer gap between her, and the other dozens of girls I've met in the last year, has me scratching my head. Is this really as good as it gets?

A few brief interactions, one with two girls from Austria, and one from Palau, had etched themselves into my memory. I couldn't put my finger on why I found the company of these girls infinitely more pleasant than normal. I felt good around them, validated as a man, appreciated as a human being. I legitimately enjoyed buying the Austrian girls a few drinks at the speakeasy I escorted them to. I reveled in their company as each took an arm. I felt none of the barbs, none of the challenges, none of the bristling that so characterized the vast majority of my interaction with American women. And when it came time to bid them goodbye, I had so enjoyed the experience that I didn't even feel bad that I didn't get them both into bed. I literally did not care.

When Roosh released Bang Poland, I was intrigued at the promise of a vast and sprawling country full of femininity. His confession at the end of the book, an anachronistic paean to love by a hardened veteran of the murderously cruel DC bar scene, came as brutishly honest as any of the damning critiques of American women he has penned. Intrigued; was it overselling? Underselling?

My plans to sell everything and move to Poland to pursue a career in writing and music fell off; I ended up getting a better job, and made the dreaded call to invest my cashed out retirement funds into real estate instead of taking a few years in Poland to try to make it as a writer.

But with that safety net cast beneath me, I still wondered about Poland. After all, what else is there in life but woman? Work grinded on, and with the sheer number of only marginally desirable women before me, I couldn't shake the idea of visiting a world where true femininity is still cherished. Was it a pipe dream, one ruined by the sheer inexorable tide of Western culture? Or was it even better than I imagined it, a pristine wildlife preserve amid the ruins of civilization?

I envisioned all of the possible outcomes. Failure? An now-uncharacteristic swallowing of my energies into the same depression I struggled with in my true beta days, where love came long-lost and opportunity malingered beneath hesitation. Jet lag sapping my energy to approach, to move, to love. Alcohol dulling the senses. Testosterone running thin, draining my motivation to do more than simply live. The resignation of money blown, opportunity lost, careers threatened for the long departure. What if the women were simply no better than American women? Even if a few lays came of it, what would I have proven?

And what would success be? The warm and slender body of a woman, of long gazes into dappled brown eyes. Promises to stay in contact, her tearful goodbyes at the airport, a Vkontakte inbox filled with aching messages. A newfound measure to weigh against the inferiority of American women, the resolve to accept no less than true quality. What should constitute success, after all? Roosh warned against the idea of a rapid turnover time in getting women into bed, a prospect I am only secondarily interested in. If I wanted to get laid, I'm a stone's throw away from Las Vegas, where my less skilled seduction techniques nonetheless find greater purchase and it's a hell of a lot cheaper to boot.

No. I've been studying women for years now. I need a reference point. It can't be this hard, not everywhere. Skrillex haircuts, tattoos, body hair, obesity. It can't be this hard.

I bit my lip, and clicked the button. Booked. Bloody hell.

Booked.

Post: #2

Well written. Have fun in Poland. Obviously if you've read around the forum you should expect to have a great time.

Post: #3

I wonder if the best thing that could possibly happen to me is that I could find out was that Polish girls were no better than American girls. I could come back to America, content with my station and position in life, without the promise of greener pastures burning a permanent wanderlust into me.

But, for the science we go..

Post: #4

Good luck man. What I can tell you from my travels to Brazil and Colombia is it's painful to try and meet a girl that can satisfy you in the states after spending time in those countries.

Post: #5

This is me taking the biggest red pill I can choke down and washing it down with a fifth of Jack. I need to see reality for what it is.

And, thank you for your kind words. I'll probably repost this on my blog.

Post: #6

It should be a good experience for you man. Make the best out of it and take it all in. Is this your first time leaving the country?

Post: #7

When I was younger, I actually did two blue-pill trips to China and one to Taiwan based on some internet dating a Chinese girl (and the waitress I met the first time I went there). I don't want to talk about that but let's just say those were epic clusterfucks. Heh.

It's my first time to Europe though, and I'm looking forward to assimilating a little bit more completely even if I don't look Slavic.

Post: #8

Don't abandon writing completely. You've got some serious talent man. That was one of the best written posts I've read on this forum.

Post: #9

(03-29-2013 07:37 PM)RenewalMan Wrote:  Don't abandon writing completely. You've got some serious talent man. That was one of the best written posts I've read on this forum.

I agree with not giving up writing. The post was very well written. Stick with it, even if just for a hobby. You have a talent, may as well use it.

Post: #10

I've actually written a (massively blue pill) novel - spent over a thousand hours on it, in fact. I used to write poetry as a teenager and a younger adult, and now transitioned those skills into writing music as well. It's a hard business to make a living in though.

I really didn't expect any amount of congratulations on my writing. This took me by surprise. Again, thank you both.

Post: #11

aphelion,

Awesome! When you headed out there?

Entertaining, well written post. Looking forward to reading more of your stuff.

Post: #12

Goodbye Dear Friend, see you on the other side.

Aphelion, nice writing and you will be ruined like many of us or me at least. Dating in Canada (Toronto) is painful to put it kindly.

Post: #13

Very well written. Congratulations, I´m pretty sure you won´t regret your decision.
By the way, did you get the Palauan flag?

Post: #14

Only ever saw that girl once. She lives out of state.

Post: #15

(05-04-2013 12:43 AM)samsamsam Wrote:  aphelion,

Awesome! When you headed out there?

Entertaining, well written post. Looking forward to reading more of your stuff.

I'm flying out in a week, leaving on the 11th. I'm looking forward to it.

Post: #16

Cherish the adventure! Keep us updated.

Post: #17

ATTENTION EVERYONE, I HAVE FOUND TRUE LOVE AND WILL BE CANCELING MY TRIP AND ATTEMPTING TO GET BACK WHAT LITTLE MONEY I CAN. BUT IT'S WORTH IT TO JUST BE WITH THE ONE I LOVE

Post: #18

kiddin'. I'll be departing in 36 hours and I'm stoked.

I had a mini-date tonight with the girl I photographed for the 4th panel of our 2nd album cover. She self-identifies feminist but I think that she's in over her head with that. She said that my thoughts were reasonable, and by the end of the night she was adjusting her hair and smiling and making deep eye contact. She liked my romanticism on certain things and she took a picture of my CD that I gave her for her work.

I told her that I hadn't intended this to be a date and that I wasn't in a good place to date right now (particularly since I'm leaving the country on Saturday) but that if I get my feelings sorted out with girls and all of that, I had a wonderful time with her and that I might like to see her out again. She's 22, cute. Friend of a friend so I can't go balls out escalating. I think. (Shit, I probably could. Whatever tho. The Poland trip is going to tell me whether I even need to bother dating American women at all.)

Post: #19

Also, I've had a few shots tonight so excuse my incoherency.

Post: #20

@aphelion
I am thinking about going to Wroclaw soon so I am really interested to read how your trip goes. Would appreciate lots of details about your trip.

Good luck!

Post: #21

Here at Wroclaw airport waiting to sync up with my airbnb host. The girls are pretty good looking so far, for an airport.

Post: #22

Three hours in Wroclaw and not gotten laid yet, the dream is over

Post: #23

Lol aphelion. Give it four hours.

Post: #24

Keep us posted!

Post: #25

Nothing's happening tonight. I'm checking in in 3 hours (booked airbnb starting tomorrow, owner will let me in early but not until 10pm) and I'm just beat. I travel pretty light and still have a heavy load.