Post: #1

I'm 25 years old... and still a virgin...
it's not that I'm weird or ugly out anything, girls have always wanted some off this... actually... I'm not going to make excuses or anything, fact it's, I never worked up the nerve to escalate sexually I'm a big puss... whatever.... anyways
about an hour ago,I finally worked up the nerve and got a girl to my bed, naked, with her pussy in my face... and for the first time in my entire life,
I couldn't get it up, she tried everything ( bless her heart) but It wouldn't go...

what. the. fuck!?

Post: #2

Get her Back in bed, take a 1/4 pill of Viagra if you must.

Also stop watching porn if you are...

Your impotence stems from performance anxiety, care less, cheat with that quarter pill once or simply hit on tons of chicks till you get back in that situation.

Post: #3

porn... the girl across the street jogging with the big tits, the girl making my sammich at subway... every day... several times a day...I have no problem with the guy downstairs... but this. one. time. when our really matters... he lets me down... mother fucker....

Post: #4

it's just so... frustrating...
it probably is the porn, though... but even so... every time I watch porn, it rises to the occasion no problem... could it be that most girls don't look like a porn star? (and girls in porn are like super model quality these days too... not like that old shit)

Post: #5

I think you're over analyzing this, honestly just pop a cheater once if its that bad.

People here will come down and say "drugs are bad" that's just bullshit. If you must do that route, if she flakes on you buy it anyway so next time that never happens.

You can recover from this,no need to be down on yourself. You have 75 years to bang thousands of chicks, disengage your mind from the event and move on with thousands of approaches.

Post: #6

A girl I knew had a boyfriend with the same problem as you. He was 6'4 broad shouldered and looked like johnny depp. Still was a virgin halfway through university. He told her hed been with a few girls, but she didn't believe him. took them multiple tries before they banged (heard via the girl of course ahahahhaha).

You just need to get out of your head. I've had this happen before, you're just about to bang a chick and... nothing. Just doesn't want to get hard. In those situations I'll always have something else on my mind: school, problems with another girl (ha) etc.

You need to lose yourself in the moment and just forget its a big deal to you. Alcohol helps with this. Have a few drinks (not too many). Get some flirty chat going on and just bang away.

Post: #7

It's almost 100% psychological. My first time was also pretty late compared to the average. I think you tend to get more in your own head when you think that you are inexperienced compared to others... Like what everyone else is saying, just don't worry about it... everyone sucks their first time.

I still get anxious each time I"m with a new girl. It's relatively normal.

Post: #8

Sounds like you have some form of sexual anxiety, I think this problem can be relatively common, so I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. I think the best thing you can do is just not psyche yourself out once you get in the moment, focus on her, finger her puss, sucking her tits, and even eat the puss if it turns you on. Get her touching your dick, and ask her to give you head, if she puts her mouth on your cock, I doubt you'll have any issue getting hard. Giving up porn for a stretch is probably a good idea, and cutting back on jerking off in general couldn't hurt, if you do jerk off to porn, jerk it to amateur shit with more normal looking chicks, instead of BangBros or Reality Kings. Even better is if you jerk off, use your imagination, and imagine you are fucking the chick you are going to be hanging out with.

Post: #9

Hey, it happens to me sometimes and I'm no virgin Aside from what the other people have said there are two other issues I have noticed: 1. Too much alcohol. 2. A girl you are not very sexually attracted to. When I am not very sexually attracted to a girl I have to be very careful otherwise it's very easy for me to lose it but when I am very sexually attracted to her, there's never any problem.

Post: #10

In your specific case though, it sounds like pure performance anxiety. The best way I have found to deal with this is to take things slow with the girl. Go slow and get comfortable with the girl. Don't try to have sex right away. The more comfortable you are with her not only will she enjoy it more but you will too.

Post: #11

make sure to have a heavy make out/foreplay before you even undress. if you don't get a boner during foreplay, getting naked won't make things any sexier

Post: #12

Try getting a blow job. Helped me my first time, i also experienced the same problem. And like WestCost is saying, try a cheater. No reason to wait any longer, if necessary, bang an ugly girl with a cheater. You'll still get some confidence and practice for your next experience.

Post: #13

1. Quit porn (and fapping for the time being)
2. Read Sex God Method. If I recall correctly it covers ED a bit, and how to overcome it through relaxation. A really great book overall.

Post: #14

(03-29-2013 05:11 AM)reino341 Wrote:  1. Quit porn (and fapping for the time being)
2. Read Sex God Method. If I recall correctly it covers ED a bit, and how to overcome it through relaxation. A really great book overall.

This and David Shade and great resources for the bedroom. In fact, Dan Rose and David Shade are probably the only two authors you will EVER have to read regarding sex. 95% of the sex books out there are utter crap and worthless. Especially the ones written by women.

Post: #15

It's part nervousness, but having acclimated yourself to porn during the last 10 years can also be a major factor. I suggest thoroughly reading this:
http://yourbrainonporn.com/

Post: #16

is it David shade who made the G spot tutorial video where he fingered some girl and she squirts everywhere?

Post: #17

Definitely sounds like sexual anxiety to me. What I've found that helps is rubbing lube on my dick, seems to help it out a lot.

Post: #18

(03-28-2013 10:08 PM)Muk Wrote:  I'm 25 years old... and still a virgin...
it's not that I'm weird or ugly out anything, girls have always wanted some off this... actually... I'm not going to make excuses or anything, fact it's, I never worked up the nerve to escalate sexually I'm a big puss... whatever.... anyways
about an hour ago,I finally worked up the nerve and got a girl to my bed, naked, with her pussy in my face... and for the first time in my entire life,
I couldn't get it up, she tried everything ( bless her heart) but It wouldn't go...

what. the. fuck!?

Haha, that sounds so much like my first time, too. Except I was weird and ugly back then. She was a stripper too, so I was totally pissed at myself that I couldn't get hard when I never had a problem by myself. Especially since I didn't get another chance to bang her after that night.

I think the problem stemmed from a few reasons:
1.) Like others have said, anxiety. It was my first time and I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. And I feel like as the man, I need to be completely in control and lead the girl, but with no experience, I had no reference point from which to lead.
2.) As a late bloomer, being a "loser virgin" had become part of my self-identity. If I finally had sex, I was afraid of losing that. If I was no longer a "loser virgin", then who would I be?
3.) The thought of "OH MY GOD I HAVE A NAKED GIRL IN MY BED!!!!11!!" racing through my head. It was a situation I'd longed for my whole life, so I was nervous that it was finally here. Ties in with my last point.
4.) After so many celibate years, my penis had been conditioned to getting hard and getting off in a certain way, and actual sex is a completely different stimulus than either porn or the years of fantasies in my head. Besides any differences in visual stimulation between porn girls and real girls, porn is so cold, robotic, and efficient in its approach to sex. It doesn't prepare you for the reality of emotions involved with sex; I've never seen porn couples laughing with each other during sex or awkwardly fumbling to find the right position and angle.
5.) Wanting the first time to be special. I knew hooking up with the stripper was going to be a one-time thing, and as a hopeless romantic, part of me wanted my first time to be with a girl I actually cared about and was in a real relationship with. As desperate as I was to just wash the stink of virgin off me, I still didn't want the first time to be just meaningless sex (was that beta?).

There really isn't much you can do except to keep trying and practicing. It did help me after I could articulate what was holding me back. And if you get nervous, remember to tell yourself getting laid is something you REALLY want. Recognize the difference between "just wanting to be able to get laid" and "actually wanting to get laid". You might be stuck on the former.

Also, it might help to find a chick you trust who knows you're a virgin and is willing to have the patience to take it slow and make it special for you. My problem was the stripper had an impatient spoiled princess complex and just wanted to be fucked without having to spend any time teaching me what to do. So you might wanna focus on gaming the cute shy girls first instead of the club sluts.

And also if you get nervous, make sure to just breathe and relax. Getting angry at yourself for not being able to get hard is just going to create a feedback loop making you more anxious and even more difficult to get hard. Remind yourself that real-life sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, not just like the emotionally detached, lifeless, mechanical pounding you see in porn.

Anyway, I hope this helps!

Post: #19

I just read that " your brain on porn" site... and it sounds like porn is the problem day one of "no fap" starts today...

Post: #20

laugh it off man, realize thoughts like

Quote:it's just so... frustrating...

are working against you..

and call her bro
joke about it briefly when you're hanging out (don't dwell on it, change subject fast but mention it)
she obviously likes you

Round 2!

Post: #21

(03-29-2013 12:40 PM)Muk Wrote:  I just read that " your brain on porn" site... and it sounds like porn is the problem day one of "no fap" starts today...

Nice man, yeah it seemed like that was the read between the lines based on your post.

Porn is useless, just go out there and get more girls. Watching porn is like watching sports. Fuck that. Either go have sex or go play sports or hit the gym.

Results, results, results.

Unlike sports where you could have client meetings, watching porn is literally a 0 value add activity.

Post: #22

Its the porn man.

Post: #23

I think you need to work on your inner game a bit more OP. Your self esteem/confidence looks like it needs a bit of work.

This post by Privateman about the Confidence Sub-Routing should really help.

How you feel on the inside as a man affects A LOT of things in your life. This can not be neglected.

Post: #24

Did she give you a boner before you got to bed with her? If Yes, then its probably something psychological.

If no, then your body may be telling you it doesn't want to make babies with this woman... or there is no real "chemistry" between you both.

Post: #25

The first girl I got into bed, a while ago, this is an anecdotal story for you. I was really into this girl, back in my beta years () I was all set to go, there she was, I stripped her clothes off, and pretty much right at that moment where things were about to happen, I lost it. I wasn't being assertive at all, I even asked her, in such a stupid way "so....um....should... I mean... like do...you want to?" and it completely KILLED the whole moment, lost my boner, told her I couldn't do it the WHOLE thing. Since then, that experience has been drilled into my head and I always think to myself "it's going to happen again, it's going to happen again, it's going to happen again".. .However, when I'm completely in the moment, and I allow myself to relax, I'm ready.. I'm still a virgin too man, and it's frustrating as hell and believe me I KNOW. But I, we, will get through it. I've been working on myself, and I realize that's all I really can do. You're in the right place believe me, reading your story is almost comical to me, it's so similar to my first experience with that and YES, the no porn and maybe masturbating once a week is very helpful.

I guess in the end it all boils down to inner game. One regret that I have with that specific moment was I didn't take charge at the right moment. She wanted to be manhandled, and I was almost successful in doing so, but at that one crucial moment I became nervous, and nerves/anxiety will be the killer - the end all of moments but there are ways to defeat those thoughts and I've been successful in doing so with all of the mental programming and things I've been working on. No doubt, it's not great all of the time, but a hell of a lot better than before.

I feel as though I'm sending a message to myself, but honestly, keep on keepin' on, that's what I'm doing. Moves will be made and things will happen.