Post: #1

This makes sense to me, as do most (all?) archaic trends. From Chuck Ross at The Good Men Project via Gucci Little Piggy.

Quote:Mattress stores are about as common today as vitamin shops, organic markets, and gourmet coffeehouses. Consumers are dying for bed comfort, but they’ve yet to make a massive push towards decoupled sleep. Not only do we have the bed stores, but we have the Brookstone outlets that sell all sorts of sleep aid devices; we have the TV commercials advertising special comfort beds whose major selling points include isolated springs which prevent one person’s bed movement from disturbing the other. We want out of the system, but we don’t want to break from it. There is a first-mover disadvantage in a myriad of ways: hurt feelings, fears of rejection, disapproving comments from friends or family.

And then, of course, we have the covers. This is a widespread cultural meme—fighting for covers. This is the natural outcome of a systemic over- and under-lay. What we have is a turf battle on two fronts—one above and one below the couple lying in limbo. When presented this way, I have to ask, what is so great about sleeping in the same bed?

As we’d expect, research has been conducted on this topic, and it seems perfectly intuitive. Research from the University of Vienna found that when men slept with a partner they performed worse on cognitive tests than when they’d slept without a partner. They also displayed higher stress hormones. Women, on the other hand, did not display such drastic changes in mental ability and stress. They were able to reach deeper sleep when sleeping with a partner.

Post: #2

(03-22-2013 02:12 PM)Mr.Barbarian Wrote:  This makes sense to me, as do most (all?) archaic trends. From Chuck Ross at The Good Men Project via Gucci Little Piggy.

Quote:Mattress stores are about as common today as vitamin shops, organic markets, and gourmet coffeehouses. Consumers are dying for bed comfort, but they’ve yet to make a massive push towards decoupled sleep. Not only do we have the bed stores, but we have the Brookstone outlets that sell all sorts of sleep aid devices; we have the TV commercials advertising special comfort beds whose major selling points include isolated springs which prevent one person’s bed movement from disturbing the other. We want out of the system, but we don’t want to break from it. There is a first-mover disadvantage in a myriad of ways: hurt feelings, fears of rejection, disapproving comments from friends or family.

And then, of course, we have the covers. This is a widespread cultural meme—fighting for covers. This is the natural outcome of a systemic over- and under-lay. What we have is a turf battle on two fronts—one above and one below the couple lying in limbo. When presented this way, I have to ask, what is so great about sleeping in the same bed?

As we’d expect, research has been conducted on this topic, and it seems perfectly intuitive. Research from the University of Vienna found that when men slept with a partner they performed worse on cognitive tests than when they’d slept without a partner. They also displayed higher stress hormones. Women, on the other hand, did not display such drastic changes in mental ability and stress. They were able to reach deeper sleep when sleeping with a partner.

It's odd. But perhaps men need to be more vigilant when sleeping with a woman in order to mate guard. The stress and cognitive effects may simply be part of the toll men endure for the sake of reproductive success, such as preventing cuckoldry.

Meanwhile women from an evolutionary perspective are better able to ward of predators and rival males when she sleeps with her man.

Post: #3

My last LTR for 3 years, I rarely slept over. She hated this, but it allowed to get A LOT more done throughout the day. People say you adjust to it, but I would never wake up as refreshed or be as productive. Also if you have half a libido you're resting a semi chub the entire night and will end up inside her at one point or another.

I can see the benefits of sleeping together for women (mainly security and comfort) - but for the men, what benefits do they stand to gain?

Post: #4

(03-22-2013 04:49 PM)Prophylaxis Wrote:  My last LTR for 3 years, I rarely slept over. She hated this, but it allowed to get A LOT more done throughout the day. People say you adjust to it, but I would never wake up as refreshed or be as productive. Also if you have half a libido you're resting a semi chub the entire night and will end up inside her at one point or another.

I can see the benefits of sleeping together for women (mainly security and comfort) - but for the men, what benefits do they stand to gain?

A new girl I'm trying to bed (but haven't successfully yet) stayed at my place until 3 AM (another story entirely) and then didn't want to sleep there, chose to go home (she has a big dog and she had to work the next day). She also mentioned that she doesn't sleep well with others, but said it might be because of becoming pretty turned off by her last ex (end of a 5 year relationship). I wondered about this, but it does make sense that you'd get less quality sleep if you're waking each other up through natural movement while asleep.

I've always enjoyed passing out with a girl's head on my chest, but maybe that's just because it's almost always post-coital. I wonder if even after bedding this chick it's not a bad idea to just never sleep with her for my own benefit as well as supposedly hers.