Post: #1

Tonight I was was going direct in my approaches. I was using variations of the standard, "I saw you and I just had to meet you." A few different girls responded with something like, "that's such nice thing to say." That reaction is totally making me think that I'm going in too soft. I kind of feel that this is something a girl would say to a guy that she wants to let down easy. If a girl wants to let me down easy then I'm thinking that she perceives me as weak.

Am I correct that this response means that the women I'm approaching are perceiving weakness?

Post: #2

I'll bet you have bad body language or you look or carry yourself like a pussy.

If you are going to say something like "I had to meet you", you'd better be physically intimidating as fuck.

Contrast is king.

Post: #3

Would have been better if you walked up to her and asked her "what the fuck is your problem?" or "do you wanna fight me or something?".

Why did you just HAVE to meet her? If you never said a word to her before saying something like this it is basically like walking up to her and saying "omg you are so hot" which is pure beta.

Post: #4

"I had to meet you" sounds like something a gay guy or a woman would say.

As a man, you don't "have" to do shit.

Post: #5

Me: I just had to meet you!!!

Her: oh how come

Me: I need someone to do my laundry


Situation solved.

Post: #6

(03-17-2013 03:43 AM)Jaylow Wrote:  Me: I just had to meet you!!!

Her: oh how come

Me: I need someone to do my laundry


Situation solved.

i don't think that would end well. it is more of an insult than a neg.

"the lives of our children depend on it"

Post: #7

Whether the words "I just had to meet you" come across as "beta" depends more on how your saying it. I mean, are you saying something like this:

"o-oh..uum...e-excuse me m'miss...I just thought you looked very l-l-lovely today...and I, I mean..uh...I had to come meet you...please,"

...If said in a soft timid voice...then yeah, I can imagine it could come off as weak. The same words, if said with a different tone, facial expression and body language...would likely create a different response.

As to the words "that's such a nice thing to say": how are they saying this? Is it more in the manner in which she'd speak to a little boy or a cute puppy? How does the conversation go on after that? I don't think there's enough information in this thread to say anything specific.

Post: #8

If "I just had to meet you" is part of your opener, don't get stuck on it waiting for a reaction like it's some big fucking moment.

Just my 2¢.

Post: #9

(03-17-2013 07:30 AM)reino341 Wrote:  If "I just had to meet you" is part of your opener, don't get stuck on it waiting for a reaction like it's some big fucking moment.

Just my 2¢.

Agreed.

I sometimes say "I'd be kicking myself if I didn't come say hi. My name's Matt" and offer my hand. Always works.

Post: #10

Saying ANYTHING literally puts you ahead of the 99.99% of guys she passes in daily life who say NOTHING.

Just say anything and you're doing better than I am 99% of the time.

Then, once you're ahead of the 99.99%, if you additionally try to get some kind of compliance (give me your phone etc) you are ahead of 99.999% of the guys.

Post: #11

IMO it depends on how she said it. but only you know that.

Post: #12

1. You said SOMETHING.
2. You mad it known you were interested from the start.

As far as openers go, you're good. It's the other things that really matter, like: body language, tonality, intent, etc. Once the opener opens, it's a thing of the past. How you handle the rest of the interaction will determine how weak/strong you come off.

Pussies don't go direct...Pussies don't say or do ANYTHING AT ALL. Keep using your opener, just don't sound and look like a needy panzy when you say it.

Post: #13

It all depends how she says it.

My sense is that you are being to apologetic about it. Like you feel bad about bothering her. This is the wrong frame. Say it with less concern for her feelings. Say it like a man that knows what he wants and is not afraid to go after it.

Say it like you are superior to her.

You seem to be coming from a place of inferiority.

Say it without any apologies! Act like she needs you more then you need her.

Also, just because she says this doesn't mean that the approach is lost. Maybe you were a bit apologetic in your approach. Thats okay. Some girls like this softer, less aggressive vibe. Just keep the conversation going. You can reframe it as you go.

I sometimes pretend to be nervous and a little needy so I don't give off that strong player vibe.

Check out this post:

/thread-21480-...#pid392887