Post: #1

Hi guys. I have been a regular reader on this forum for a while and signed up in September 2012.

I read this thread about Canadian Oilfields here: /thread-9826.html I decided to head out West to work and make some money. I landed in Saskatchewan and got hired with a company called Ledcor.

Anyway, I was busy with work like crazy and now that I am back in the GTA since I got a transfer here, I decided to start talking to girls. But I realized this. I am now EXTREMELY SCARED of talking to girls. I have this paralysing fear. I don't understand what is going on. Now I have a very good job that pays well but I am lacking in the girls department for some reason.

Especially the prettier a girl is the more horribly scared I am of talking to her so I've been only talking to not so pretty girls.

Help??

Post: #2

What is there to be scared of?

You know the truth, nothing.

In a single full day of game I will get every response from "you're ugly to you're so cute". These are all cute girls. So the answer is desensitization, talk to every cute girl say something as light as "hey" to as strong as "oh hey you're kind of cute what's your name". Mess around with direct and indirect see what works for you.

Every day you don't talk to girls you want to talk to you're reaffirming your irrational fear... Which is just in your mind.

Post: #3

a few points

- a girl not being interested in you is not the same as being rejected. Rejection happens when someone gets to know who you really are and doesn't like it, thats not going to happen.

- the sting of regret is worse than a girl not being interested in you

- if you get to talk to more and more girls you realize that they are very similar. You also realize that many guys are just like you. The guys who usually talk to them are "creepy" or really fucked up. Just by saying "Hi hows it going" you've blown 95% of dudes out of the water. The last guy who talked to her was probably high on crystal meth asking her if she wanted to do drugs and fuck cats or something.


Just tell yourself "I'm going to talk to this person no matter what" start by asking basic questions that they'd have to be a shitty person not to answer such as "excuse me do you know when the next bus is?" or when you are buying something "hey busy day here at the coffee shop?"

Post: #4

hey 23Billion have you read Bang yet? Roosh has some very good tips for getting over AA(Approach anxiety) and also dealing with fear of conversing with women. Soon you will see girls are nothing to be afraid of and as long as you don't try to pick up round shaped ones with a haircut like that Skrillex guy they probably won't explode with rage because "They don't need no man". Approach women, lots of women, even just "Hi" and shoot the sh*t with them, you will see they are nothing to fear.
best of luck man, keep us posted

Post: #5

hey guys.

See the thing is, I didnt have this fear before. I dont know what is happening. I am making good money now and in the summer of 2012 I was broke and didn't even have money to pay for my cell phone bill. I don't know what is happening. I am more nervous than ever now. I just freeze talking to a girl. And on more than few occasions I've found my self 'lurking' around before talking.

Could it be that my resume was full of absolute lies and bullsht and I got hired and now I am in kind of a twilight zone about it because I still cannot believe I have a kick ass job with a good pay and they've already told me that they'll send me for more training later on.

Or could it be that I haven't banged a girl since April of last year I think. What could be the reason? I know girls are just human beings and they all eat, sht and sleep just like the rest of us. But why am I freezing? I have much nicer clothes, shoes etc than before. What is going on man??

I think may be I need to get out there and do 100 approaches in one day.

(02-20-2013 11:53 PM)WesternCancer Wrote:  a few points

- a girl not being interested in you is not the same as being rejected. Rejection happens when someone gets to know who you really are and doesn't like it, thats not going to happen.

- the sting of regret is worse than a girl not being interested in you

- if you get to talk to more and more girls you realize that they are very similar. You also realize that many guys are just like you. The guys who usually talk to them are "creepy" or really fucked up. Just by saying "Hi hows it going" you've blown 95% of dudes out of the water. The last guy who talked to her was probably high on crystal meth asking her if she wanted to do drugs and fuck cats or something.


Just tell yourself "I'm going to talk to this person no matter what" start by asking basic questions that they'd have to be a shitty person not to answer such as "excuse me do you know when the next bus is?" or when you are buying something "hey busy day here at the coffee shop?"

Post: #6

Do it one girl at a time. Keep a journal.

Post: #7

Yeah bro I have read Bang by Roosh but it was a while ago.

I don't know man there is SOMETHING that causing this emotional/psychological paralysis for me. I don't know what it is. Ever since I came back from Saskatchewan I have been a different person. :/

Post: #8

This should be in the noob forum.

Age old problem, but there are more than a few ways to handle it

Day Game and Street Game

- Talk to everyone - guys, girls, old people, little kids, your parents, your friends, your teachers, cops, EVERYONE ALL THE TIME. (this useful in general. You'll make more friends, make more money, do better in life, the more people you meet and befriend)

- Get a cold calling job - not just a sales job, but one where you need to talk to strangers on a regular basis, strangers who aren't interested in talking to you

- become a Mormon and go on a pioneering trip - You think you've got it tough, imagine wearing a stupid short sleeve white dress shirt and a tie and traipsing through the hood trying to convince Cletus to follow the Angel Moroni. - They do it, cause if they convert someone, they're saving a soul. If you take that mindset to the game, every chick you lay is a step closer to God.....

Night/Bar/Club/Lounge/Party Game

- 3 second rule - if you see a cute chick, you have 3 seconds to go talk to her

- Go out with a wing, give him 50 bucks, 100 bucks, whatever is BIG MONEY to you - and the bet is to open, and if you don't open, he keeps your money

- Only talk to the hottest chicks at a venue. Talk to them only. If they ignore you, don't respond, aren't interested, BOUNCE to the next venue. People who work @ the Treasury that look for counterfeit bills only look @ perfect bills, so they can always spot fakes.

This will be hard at first, but then it will be easy to do when you're in the mood, and when you're in the zone you'll forget how hard it was.

The real key is to push past this and be able to approach when YOU'RE NOT feeling it.

As far as low probability hollers, I don't know if such a thing exists, but you'll know you've hit that point when the game starts to interfere with your day to day life.

WIA

Post: #9

Hey man thanx for reply.

I should have clarified that I wasn't really 'scared' of talking to girls before. But I went to Saskatchewan in September 2012, just got back recently and I am a changed person. I dont know what happened!

I had no problem saying "hey whats going on" to any girl/person etc at all. But now I just freeze. I am always anxious for some reason. :/

can you go into a bit more details regarding the 'low probability hollers' factor and the Treasury phenomenon? It sounds interesting.

(02-21-2013 12:12 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  People who work @ the Treasury that look for counterfeit bills only look @ perfect bills, so they can always spot fakes.

As far as low probability hollers, I don't know if such a thing exists, but you'll know you've hit that point when the game starts to interfere with your day to day life.

WIA

Post: #10

(02-21-2013 12:17 AM)23Billion Wrote:  Hey man thanx for reply.

I should have clarified that I wasn't really 'scared' of talking to girls before. But I went to Saskatchewan in September 2012, just got back recently and I am a changed person. I dont know what happened!

I had no problem saying "hey whats going on" to any girl/person etc at all. But now I just freeze. I am always anxious for some reason. :/

can you go into a bit more details regarding the 'low probability hollers' factor and the Treasury phenomenon? It sounds interesting.

(02-21-2013 12:12 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  People who work @ the Treasury that look for counterfeit bills only look @ perfect bills, so they can always spot fakes.

As far as low probability hollers, I don't know if such a thing exists, but you'll know you've hit that point when the game starts to interfere with your day to day life.

WIA

While this may sound like pseudoscience to you, it might work:

1.) Stop jerking. Testosterone naturally creates a don't give a fuck attitude (see every action star ever).

2.) Get in to lifting and/or mma (make sure it's full-contact). Physical struggle calms you, puts things in perspective, and once you've spent some time worrying about a 250 lb guy trying to choke you out, women won't worry you one bit.

Post: #11

(02-21-2013 12:33 AM)nek Wrote:  

(02-21-2013 12:17 AM)23Billion Wrote:  Hey man thanx for reply.

I should have clarified that I wasn't really 'scared' of talking to girls before. But I went to Saskatchewan in September 2012, just got back recently and I am a changed person. I dont know what happened!

I had no problem saying "hey whats going on" to any girl/person etc at all. But now I just freeze. I am always anxious for some reason. :/

can you go into a bit more details regarding the 'low probability hollers' factor and the Treasury phenomenon? It sounds interesting.

(02-21-2013 12:12 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  People who work @ the Treasury that look for counterfeit bills only look @ perfect bills, so they can always spot fakes.

As far as low probability hollers, I don't know if such a thing exists, but you'll know you've hit that point when the game starts to interfere with your day to day life.

WIA

While this may sound like pseudoscience to you, it might work:

1.) Stop jerking. Testosterone naturally creates a don't give a fuck attitude (see every action star ever).

2.) Get in to lifting and/or mma (make sure it's full-contact). Physical struggle calms you, puts things in perspective, and once you've spent some time worrying about a 250 lb guy trying to choke you out, women won't worry you one bit.

One more thing:

3.) Don't talk for the sake of talking. This creates anxiety. If you have something to say, then say it. If not, then don't. This generates a calmer, more controlled flow of conversation. The guy I live with is always asking me about talking to women and you know what? He's the guy that fills the silence with speaking for the sake of speaking. He sounds nervous, and his words begin to carry less weight. The strong, silent archetype isn't held up as a model of masculinity for no reason.

Post: #12

(02-21-2013 12:17 AM)23Billion Wrote:  can you go into a bit more details regarding the 'low probability hollers' factor and the Treasury phenomenon? It sounds interesting.

(02-21-2013 12:12 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  People who work @ the Treasury that look for counterfeit bills only look @ perfect bills, so they can always spot fakes.

As far as low probability hollers, I don't know if such a thing exists, but you'll know you've hit that point when the game starts to interfere with your day to day life.

WIA

It used to be meeting a chick on the train/bus/in line - basically a cute woman during your daily travels was a low probability chance of you getting her into bed in 4-5 hours, which is the norm during night game.

All that changed when day game got popularity with the internet guys who typically focused on dance clubs and bars. For "unstructured" so-called natural game, there was no artificial distinction. Streets, Malls, Bus Stops,...pretty much any chick was ripe for the taking.

So street game, day hollers, public transit chance meetings - there's now ample technology/practices out there to make a good solid impression and convert that into a date that leads to sex. (I recommend Day Bang, if you haven't already read it)

Now, I'm not sure if there are too many common low probability hollers.
- a chick with a bunch of guys, may be the little sister, cousin, tom boy tag-a-long = she can be isolated and pulled, once you befriend the group and understand the relationships.
- hen parties and unruly gaggles of chicks can be cleaved

I think the only real issues you have nowadays
- seated chicks @ crowded venues (balls of steel to jump in on that, cause of our social conventions)
- chicks in love with their iphones (full on addiction in many cases)

Treasury - Focus on approaching your dream girls/10's, and basically confront your fears.
Often times a 10 will drop in rank after you talk to them. But more importantly, if you don't fear the Models/Actresses/Club Queens, then the hot girls and cute girls won't bother you either. Helpful to think of what they'd look like sitting on the toilet cause they've got the vodka shits.

As an aside,

There's a lot of debate about whether a "true 10" or an "absolute 10"
- if they even exist
- and if it's a different approach than regular girls

I think there's no such thing as a true 10, but there are definitely relative 10's. Chicks that make me antsy would be a 2/10 for a lot of RVF'ers.

And there's nothing different to the approach, because most women that most men find attractive get a lot of attention anyway. Even mediocre chicks (think Natalie Portman or Katie Holmes) have tons of guys orbiting and waiting to pounce.

The 6 will put up as much as a fight as 9.5 will, because the 6, and the 5, and the 2-4, all think that they are 10's. Indeed, if you could improve the self esteem of a 1, she'd think she was a 10 as well

WIA

Post: #13

23Billion, take my advice very seriously, STOP posting the name of the company that you're currently working for on this very public forum and the fact that you lied on your resume to get the job. Its totally irrelevant to this topic and could easily land you in hot water with your employer, then you'll be back at square one and broke in the GTA and have to move all the way back to cold ass Saskghanistan.

Anyway, there's plenty of info on this forum to help you through this problem, we've all been there before, its not the end of the world.

Post: #14

Don't be a pussy. Go talk to some girls.

Post: #15

meditate on that..
/thread-15635-...62858.html

Post: #16

I just started a Game Journal where I plan on recording the dates and details of all of my approaches/closes.

The top of the document has this following quote from Roosh, which has been helping to motivate me:


"One minute before you die, as your life flashes before your eyes, will some girl who ignored you in a coffee shop many years ago matter? Will the girl in the grocery store who turned away as you stumbled over your words even register during the last movie that plays in your mind? Will you remember all the girls who flaked out on you? Your final movie will contain your accomplishments instead, the people you've loved, the places you've been, and all the pussy you've slayed. It will consist of the pleasant moments that made you who you are and made life worth living.
One day you will die. Just go up to her and say the words."

Post: #17

I can't diss you as I've never had this problem. That said, I do have massive tendency toward anticipatory anxiety in general. The key to tackling it is desensitization. You WILL go through a horrid time, but eventually you WILL get over it. They're all entirely modern phenomena, I don't know why, but they are. I guess the human mind just isn't evolved to modern life.

Post: #18

Talk to 20 girls everyday. Seriously!

Start with just saying - "hi, how are you today?"

FACE YOUR FEARS HEAD ON WITH COURAGE!

Post: #19

XXL has a lot of good and well-cataloged advice, he's the kind of person you would want to hang around in real life to pick up on the traits of a "natural."

I second keeping a journal, it can help you realize when you are just spinning your gears about nothing and learn to see yourself better.

Post: #20

I think the problem is rooted in the fact that I got my current job with my resume full of lies and BS. It's a great gig I got. But its bothering me for some reason. I'm in Montreal for a week now but I'm starting work again on Monday and I think that was the factor. I only have a high school diploma man and I told them I have an undergrad and quit master's degree half way through.

Sht I think I'm having a nervous break down man!

(02-21-2013 05:57 PM)SkeletonJelly? Wrote:  XXL has a lot of good and well-cataloged advice, he's the kind of person you would want to hang around in real life to pick up on the traits of a "natural."

I second keeping a journal, it can help you realize when you are just spinning your gears about nothing and learn to see yourself better.

Post: #21

Despite the helpfull advices, you need clinical help. Talk to a professional to find the real reason of your anxiety/fear will help you not only with girls, but also with other kinds of social interactions in your life eg family, work, friends.

Keep updating us!

Post: #22

Quote:Ok, so I am REALLY scared of talking to girls!

Post: #23

I don't know if you need clinical help, I was pretty severely depressed and paranoid for a while, to the point that I was this scared of talking to cashiers. I knew I could see a therapist, even without meds (I would never take them) and probably get more used to talking to people, but I also knew that I was damn confident in any setting where I had business, so I got a job. I worked on small talk from there. It killed me when I heard my boss making cracks about me being a creep to the dumpy servers, but I stopped thinking about it so much and went through my days, occasionally tried to make my coworkers laugh. Over time it became more natural and I grew less intense. I'm in good shape and not creepy looking, starting strength and boxing gave me tons of confidence, so that probably helped. I work at a bar and I got used to seeing the regulars. 6 months later and my boss sometimes submits eye contact when I'm just passing by with a 20 lb bag of french fries! My feminine landladies love me and I love making them laugh. You gotta stop thinking that anybody cares about what you think, and more importantly you gotta stop caring what they think! You can't control it, but it's a mistake many make. Some people tell lies compulsively, others hide, but it doesn't even matter! People all have their own business to attend to.

I've had similar issues to you, down to the premature midlife crisis, nervous breakdown, and possibly severe alienation. I've spent the better part of years thinking I've gone crazy. I could write pages about it, list Dostoevsky books that helped me see it, if I could unburn journals worth of notes where you could see me teetering on the edge... It's good for your soul when you come out on top.

Pm me your digits and we can hang out the next time you're in town. I'm cramming for midterms right now so I don't think there's time this weekend.

Post: #24

It also helps to realize that 200 years ago people were bred into good social skills and manners, and some would literally consider every minute detail from hello to goodbye. Game is a strange alter ego to those days when sex was misunderstood and almost contractual, yet friendship was so carefully tended. A primer on social biology like game gives you a leg up on the social skills of the average man. Most people will say it's up to you to find out what works for you. I say it's up to you to make your own discoveries about your reality and make your own realizations about the world.

Rant off.

Post: #25

Can't help you with your faked life problem, I only did that once for a small time internet writing gig haha. It's not my position to say, but don draper did alright. I doubt anyone will care unless you give them reason to find out, and if you only lied to get in the door.

Apologies for the triple post.