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What questions to ask during "20 questions" to build rapport
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HoustonRookie Offline
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Post: #1
What questions to ask during "20 questions" to build rapport
Hey guys,

Lately, I've been using the game "20 questions" to build deeper rapport with girls after I have screened them and can tell that they are already attracted to me.

My question is this. What questions do you guys think would be good for building deep rapport and getting to know a girl better? I don't want to ask anything too personal that might bring up bad memories (such as "have you ever known anyone who has died, etc.), but I DO want to ask questions that cause her to reveal a bit more about herself so she feels invested.

Here are some that I've asked and noticed some instant rapport (meaning that the conversation turned into something meaningful)

- What was your childhood dream? What did you want to be when you grew up?
- Tell me about some of the trouble you got into growing up (questions about childhood in general tend to work for me)
- If you could call yourself five years ago and had 30 seconds, what would you tell yourself (this one was given on the rooshv forum somewhere, but I can't remember who)
- What is the craziest belief that you hold?
- Tell me about some embarrassing moments that you've had?

As you can see, I only have 5 questions here. I'm looking for more questions specifically designed to get to know her and get her to invest more of herself. I usually throw in sexual questions too but that's not what I'm looking for here.

Any help given will be much appreciated.
02-10-2013 02:09 PM
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InsurgentMax Offline
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Post: #2
RE: What questions to ask during "20 questions" to build rapport
You shouldn't think about building rapport until after you've banged her. Experienced players realize that sex is the glue that holds it all together, but it is also the ignition that gets the engines running.

Focus on attraction building and escalating first. Build rapport during pillow talk. And don't over think it too much. The main secret to building great emotional connections is availability. I share one "little thing about me I've never told anyone before" after some mind-blowing sex because it'll get her to tell me 3-4 of hers. The secret to Intense Connections and chemistry isn't how much you know the other person. It's about how much they know you. That's why being the "mysterious alpha" is such an effective card up your sleeve, because the more she tells you about herself, the more she'll feel connected and understood by you. But you need to encourage that by getting the ball rolling. Sharing "secrets" is powerful chick-crack, but she must always be the one more exposed. That's what makes her fall for you.

But no matter what, none of this is anywhere near as effective if it's done before a strong sexual relationship is developed. Women are just like us. The heart follows the genitals. You gotta bang her first.
02-10-2013 02:55 PM
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guerrilla Offline
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Post: #3
RE: What questions to ask during "20 questions" to build rapport
some questions i have saved on my phone, lol, most of which I've taken from RVF posts





2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you're going to say? Why?
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you've dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
23. How close and warm is your family?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself? [I like this one, have asked it of my own accord a fair amount. Just don't be the typical guy and make fun of girls for crying too much. Empathize with her over the episode that caused her to cry.]
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why? [Might just say, if you could have only one worldly possession, what would it be?]
37. If you could choose the sex and physical appearance of your soon-to-be-born child, would you do it?

If tomorrow you hit the lottery and won so much money you didn't have to work again, what would you spend the rest of your life doing?

If the girl likes to travel, I ask, "are you a tourist or a traveler?" If she ask you to explain the difference there's an opportunity for DHV.

Why do you think so many women date bad boys? Always leads to interesting and revealing discussion. May want to preface it by saying you were talking about this with a female friend the other day who says she is always attracted to guys who are bad for her but can't stop. And that you've met many women that are like that.

Why are people more connected than ever, yet at the same time more isolated than ever.

Instead of asking a girl "what kind of music do you like?(so typical)" rephase it a bit more interesting. "If I hit random on your ipod, what would I expect to hear?"

What gets you most excited about life?

If you haven't been to her place yet..."If I was standing in your apartment right now, what is something interesting I'd see."
(This post was last modified: 02-10-2013 03:24 PM by guerrilla.)
02-10-2013 03:23 PM
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Johnny1975 Offline
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Post: #4
RE: What questions to ask during "20 questions" to build rapport
Do you ask your male acquaintances a load of questions to build rapport? Is this really necessary? Are you capable of building rapport with men without all this? If so, then you can do it with women, without the need for lists of questions. I bet no woman spends even a second thinking about how to build rapport with you.

You're better off thinking up questions to establish whether or not she has any major red flags. Forget rapport, you should be able to do that naturally.
02-10-2013 03:24 PM
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guerrilla Offline
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Post: #5
RE: What questions to ask during "20 questions" to build rapport
(02-10-2013 03:24 PM)Johnny1975 Wrote:  Do you ask your male acquaintances a load of questions to build rapport? Is this really necessary? Are you capable of building rapport with men without all this? If so, then you can do it with women, without the need for lists of questions. I bet no woman spends even a second thinking about how to build rapport with you.

You're better off thinking up questions to establish whether or not she has any major red flags. Forget rapport, you should be able to do that naturally.

it's a good way to fill in a lull in natural convo with some meaningless smalltalk. I like the win the lotto question, you can DHV with stories, and it makes the girl qualify herself too.
02-10-2013 04:04 PM
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MikeinMKE Offline
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Post: #6
RE: What questions to ask during "20 questions" to build rapport
(02-10-2013 03:24 PM)Johnny1975 Wrote:  Do you ask your male acquaintances a load of questions to build rapport? Is this really necessary? Are you capable of building rapport with men without all this? If so, then you can do it with women, without the need for lists of questions. I bet no woman spends even a second thinking about how to build rapport with you.

You're better off thinking up questions to establish whether or not she has any major red flags. Forget rapport, you should be able to do that naturally.

No but I don't want to fuck my male friends. How can you not think that building rapport is important? It paves the way for SNL- especially if your questions get her thinking sexually to a degree.
(This post was last modified: 02-10-2013 05:38 PM by MikeinMKE.)
02-10-2013 05:36 PM
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Johnny1975 Offline
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Post: #7
RE: What questions to ask during "20 questions" to build rapport
(02-10-2013 05:36 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  
(02-10-2013 03:24 PM)Johnny1975 Wrote:  Do you ask your male acquaintances a load of questions to build rapport? Is this really necessary? Are you capable of building rapport with men without all this? If so, then you can do it with women, without the need for lists of questions. I bet no woman spends even a second thinking about how to build rapport with you.

You're better off thinking up questions to establish whether or not she has any major red flags. Forget rapport, you should be able to do that naturally.

No but I don't want to fuck my male friends. How can you not think that building rapport is important? It paves the way for SNL- especially if your questions get her thinking sexually to a degree.

I don't think that building rapport is unimportant. Of course it's important, but my point is that when you build rapport with men, I'm sure you don't put that much effort or thought into it, because you can do it naturally. I just don't see the point in thinking about it so much. I mean, think back to a few decades ago before PUA, don't you find it a bit embarrassing that guys are thinking so much about processes that should be the most natural thing in the world?

I've got nothing against a bit of pre planning. Men have always done that, and that in itself is natural. But is it really necessary to focus on making a list of questions? I'm not saying it wouldn't work, all I'm saying is that it isn't that necessary.
02-10-2013 06:39 PM
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Johnny1975 Offline
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Post: #8
RE: What questions to ask during "20 questions" to build rapport
(02-10-2013 04:04 PM)guerrilla Wrote:  
(02-10-2013 03:24 PM)Johnny1975 Wrote:  Do you ask your male acquaintances a load of questions to build rapport? Is this really necessary? Are you capable of building rapport with men without all this? If so, then you can do it with women, without the need for lists of questions. I bet no woman spends even a second thinking about how to build rapport with you.

You're better off thinking up questions to establish whether or not she has any major red flags. Forget rapport, you should be able to do that naturally.

it's a good way to fill in a lull in natural convo with some meaningless smalltalk. I like the win the lotto question, you can DHV with stories, and it makes the girl qualify herself too.

Yes that's true. I'm just saying that it's a bit over the top to spend that much time thinking about it. What if you've asked all your questions and the girl is still boring? At some point, you have to stop performing for her, and judge her instead. It's a 2 way thing.
02-10-2013 06:41 PM
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MrStinky Offline
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Post: #9
RE: What questions to ask during "20 questions" to build rapport
You're on death row and have a single 3 course meal left before being lead away to the electrical chair -- what do you eat?
02-20-2014 05:31 PM
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TheMaskAndRose Offline
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Post: #10
RE: What questions to ask during "20 questions" to build rapport
These questions are stupid. Use something that's going to move things in the right direction, i.e.

1. Tell me about the most passionate kiss you've ever had

2. What's something in bed you thought you wouldn't like, but once you tried it, you thought it was awesome and like to do it now? (the answer is always going to be blow jobs, by the way. When she says blow jobs, ask her what she likes so much about it and watch her make herself horny in front of you.)

3. Have you ever been in a threesome? (if so, with who, what did you like about it, what was your favorite part, etc)

Stuff like that, which is a huge part of my game, is what makes her mind start moving in the direction of sex
02-26-2014 03:15 PM
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