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Was this night a failure?
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Sleek Offline
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Post: #1
Was this night a failure?
I set out tonight to get into the game.

I live about 45 minutes away from New York City. So I invited a friend (because I was too much of a pussy to go alone). Mistake. My friend barely did any approaches, had massive approach anxiety even though he is a good looking guy, and only served as a motivator and approach counter. Next time I'll go alone.

Anyway, my goal for the night was to approach 20-30 girls.

For some, that must be pretty easy. For me it was not. I finished the night with 13 approaches over the course of 4-5 hours. Honestly, I was watching SashaPUA and Simple Pickup all weekend, so I decided to go direct the majority of the time telling girls they were cute or hot and truly meaning it.

It felt empowering to do this. I felt confident doing the approaches. I was excited I was doing something few men could do. However, it was my first time doing this, and my results were bad.

I thought my best approach was on a 7.5 Ole Miss junior. She had walked right into Grand Central Station and was with a group of three or four. I told her that I thought she was cute and we chatted a bit about some personal stuff. It went well, she was asking me some personal questions and told me she thought I was cute. Cool, cool. Have her type in her number on my phone. Go to text it an hour later...... wrong number.

Other than that, two girls approached my friend and I, and I got the 6's number.

My main problems were:
  • I wasn't really pushing for the number. I was more trying to hold a conversation and bounced when I didn't have any material left.
  • I brought a friend. I should have the motivation to do this riding solo.
  • Had too many missed approaches. Somehow, someway, I would psych myself out of doing an approach. "She's with her family." "She's walking too fast." Do I really want to get good?!? If so, got to step it up.

Any NYC players welcome to join me next time. Any and all feedback also appreciated.
12-09-2012 01:56 AM
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Deluge Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Was this night a failure?
(12-09-2012 01:56 AM)Sleek Wrote:  I set out tonight to get into the game.

I live about 45 minutes away from New York City. So I invited a friend (because I was too much of a pussy to go alone). Mistake. My friend barely did any approaches, had massive approach anxiety even though he is a good looking guy, and only served as a motivator and approach counter. Next time I'll go alone.

Anyway, my goal for the night was to approach 20-30 girls.

For some, that must be pretty easy. For me it was not. I finished the night with 13 approaches over the course of 4-5 hours. Honestly, I was watching SashaPUA and Simple Pickup all weekend, so I decided to go direct the majority of the time telling girls they were cute or hot and truly meaning it.

It felt empowering to do this. I felt confident doing the approaches. I was excited I was doing something few men could do. However, it was my first time doing this, and my results were bad.

I thought my best approach was on a 7.5 Ole Miss junior. She had walked right into Grand Central Station and was with a group of three or four. I told her that I thought she was cute and we chatted a bit about some personal stuff. It went well, she was asking me some personal questions and told me she thought I was cute. Cool, cool. Have her type in her number on my phone. Go to text it an hour later...... wrong number.

Other than that, two girls approached my friend and I, and I got the 6's number.

My main problems were:
  • I wasn't really pushing for the number. I was more trying to hold a conversation and bounced when I didn't have any material left.
  • I brought a friend. I should have the motivation to do this riding solo.
  • Had too many missed approaches. Somehow, someway, I would psych myself out of doing an approach. "She's with her family." "She's walking too fast." Do I really want to get good?!? If so, got to step it up.

Any NYC players welcome to join me next time. Any and all feedback also appreciated.

Approaching 20-30 girls in a sesh is too high a target dude. Don't sweat it. I prefer setting targets by the number of girls I've who I've talked to for at least 10 minutes and number closed.

Your sticking points will melt away with more experience. To get into the habit of always going for the number, make yourself a rule for a little while where you have to ask every girl you've talked to for their number, even if she was completely uninterested in talking to you.

As for your friend, I've found that when I daygame alone I approach more because I'm not distracted by chatting to my wings and so forth, and I never have to let him/them approach a girl I would've approached. Thing is I've never pulled the trigger and told them I don't want to daygame with them anymore... It's something we talk about all the time but rarely get around to doing it. Don't make the mistake that I made. Start daygaming solo now before you get into the habit of doing it too much.
(This post was last modified: 12-09-2012 10:18 AM by Deluge.)
12-09-2012 10:09 AM
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Nomad77 Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Was this night a failure?


(This post was last modified: 12-09-2012 12:55 PM by Nomad77.)
12-09-2012 12:54 PM
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Alpha Hunter Zero Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Was this night a failure?
I wouldn't say the night was a failure so much as a learning experience for the future. You finished the night with 13 approaches, good job. Take pride in the fact that not many other newbs would have done so many approaches in one night. Now a little bit of advice from me. Don't get into the habit of conversing until the conversation has run it's course, that's a huge error. Try to keep the conversation no more than 10-15 minutes long. If you see you like her, tell her you guys should hang sometime and ask for her #. What I like to sometimes do after getting her # is once I get it shoot her a quick text or call her on the spot. This is entirely optional but sometimes I like to know if she gave me a genuine # or not. After getting the number tell her it was nice metting her and then get the hell out of there.
12-09-2012 02:17 PM
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Sebastian Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Was this night a failure?
Lol it was your frist time doing it. you shouldn't sweat it at all.

I wouldn't set such high number for myself
(I just try to not to stand alone for a while, I could be talking to her for 30 minutes or I could get blown out in 30 sec. So I don't know how many I will be talking)
but since you just started doing it, that's a great way to build confidence.

I wouldn't try to analyze it too much. It's a human interaction. you change as you go.
12-09-2012 02:26 PM
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rationalize_this Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Was this night a failure?
You've got to focus more on making your convo more playful. Throw in some offhand remarks or a sexual innuendo or two with a wink.

They want to be intrigued. Role play, just do whatever you can to break up the typical conversation structure they are used to. People watch, ask opinions.

If you get it right, they'll be playfully hitting you or laughing. Then you're on your way.
(This post was last modified: 12-09-2012 02:33 PM by rationalize_this.)
12-09-2012 02:32 PM
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Veloce Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Was this night a failure?
There's no such thing as failure. You've been around on the boards long enough to know that.

Going out and approaching is fun.
Fun=enjoying your life

That's it. This isn't a competition. 13 approaches in a night is great. I can't remember the last time I did that. I usually max out at 10. That said, I'm 31 and you're pretty young if I remember correctly. This is the time in your life when you should be approaching 10 girls every day.

As you run these approaches, take little moments to pull back and observe the interaction. Watch her responses. Think of these approaches as trial and error, not "winning or failing". Look for patterns. If you say something and she doesn't respond well, stop saying those things to girls.

"...so I gave her an STD, and she STILL wanted to bang me."

TEAM NO APPS

TEAM PINK
(This post was last modified: 12-09-2012 02:57 PM by Veloce.)
12-09-2012 02:56 PM
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Sleek Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Was this night a failure?
So much great info in this thread. Thanks for the words of encouragement guys. Will try to apply what's been said here the next time I go out.

It must be said also that these approaches were fun for me. I was having a good time doing it. I just figured that by the end of the night, I'd have some results. I didn't. More motivation to kill the next session.
12-09-2012 03:16 PM
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Veloce Offline
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RE: Was this night a failure?
(12-09-2012 03:16 PM)Sleek Wrote:  So much great info in this thread. Thanks for the words of encouragement guys. Will try to apply what's been said here the next time I go out.

It must be said also that these approaches were fun for me. I was having a good time doing it. I just figured that by the end of the night, I'd have some results. I didn't. More motivation to kill the next session.

When game works, it feels like the easiest, most natural thing on earth. You'll feel like a true playa.

And then you can go 2 months of getting blown out of the water.

Enjoy the ride.

"...so I gave her an STD, and she STILL wanted to bang me."

TEAM NO APPS

TEAM PINK
12-09-2012 03:28 PM
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soup Offline
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RE: Was this night a failure?
If you set a goal to approach 20 girls and you don't meet it, than you have failed at meeting that goal.

If the whole point of the night was to meet that goal, then yes, it is a failure.

But, of course you get experience from approaching and trying, so there is a silver lining.

Try to be more disciplined. Your dick will thank you in the future.
(This post was last modified: 12-09-2012 03:49 PM by soup.)
12-09-2012 03:47 PM
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reino341 Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Was this night a failure?
You went out, check
You approached, check
You got reference experiences, check

Your results weren't bad, don't set the bar too high, and don't identify yourself with failure.
12-09-2012 04:12 PM
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Deluge Offline
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RE: Was this night a failure?
(12-09-2012 03:28 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  
(12-09-2012 03:16 PM)Sleek Wrote:  So much great info in this thread. Thanks for the words of encouragement guys. Will try to apply what's been said here the next time I go out.

It must be said also that these approaches were fun for me. I was having a good time doing it. I just figured that by the end of the night, I'd have some results. I didn't. More motivation to kill the next session.

When game works, it feels like the easiest, most natural thing on earth. You'll feel like a true playa.

And then you can go 2 months of getting blown out of the water.

Enjoy the ride.

Quoted for truth.

(12-09-2012 04:12 PM)reino341 Wrote:  You went out, check
You approached, check
You got reference experiences, check

Your results weren't bad, don't set the bar too high, and don't identify yourself with failure.

Exactly. Sleek, just keeping going out often and it will all work itself out. Try and game (day or night) as regularly and consistently as possible and with time you will improve a ton. Don't sweat it too much.
12-10-2012 09:56 AM
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Doulos2Game Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Was this night a failure?
where are you from? I am in Ny as well. I would suggest trying to daygame a little closer to home. Because once you start racking up those numbers, you want to date these girls in a logistically friendly bar.

By the way, you should really lose the wing. You don't need that at all. I have rolled solo even before gaming. The sooner you can role out solo the better you will get at it. Before you know it, you will be leaving your house alone every night, not giving a heck about it.

Think of it like this, when it's two guys trying to get laid you need to convince two different girls. Unless you are going to run a train like my man soup.tard
12-10-2012 09:04 PM
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Deluge Offline
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RE: Was this night a failure?
(12-10-2012 09:04 PM)Doulos2Game Wrote:  Think of it like this, when it's two guys trying to get laid you need to convince two different girls. Unless you are going to run a train like my man soup.tard

Just because he's daygaming with wings does not mean that they're doing 2 on 2 approaches together.
12-11-2012 09:47 PM
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Giovonny Offline
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RE: Was this night a failure?
This night was a huge failure!

You made 0 connections, got 0 numbers, 0 make outs, 0 bangs! You missed many approaches that you should have made.

This night was a huge success!

You took the most important step, which is the first step. You faced your fears and survived. You felt empowered by telling girls how you really feel. You got more comfortable. You learned a few valuable lessons. You will be better next time. You likely gained some motivation from this.

Which one describes your feelings?

Pick the perspective that serves you best. Pick that attitude that helps you the most.

You know which one I would choose. But, you have to choose for yourself.

And, remember, this game shit is all one big mind game. You have to control your own mind! What you believe becomes real (in your mind).

So, now I want to ask you...

Was this night a failure or success???

Its not up to us, its up to you! You make it a success or failure based on your reaction to it.
(This post was last modified: 12-12-2012 04:52 PM by Giovonny.)
12-12-2012 04:49 PM
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