Post: #1

This is frustrating. These chicks message me first. Sometimes they don't respond to my messages. Then when I find them in the online chat feature, they won't cough up a phone number because of "privacy", or their "kid is sleeping". Or they will phone-text, but won't talk. Of course that's bullshit. If Brad Pitt were chatting, they would kick the kid into the hallway.

So maybe I haven't created enough attraction. I guess I got sloppy and presumptuous since they messaged me first. Maybe instead of boring, comfort-building small talk, I need some teasing, qualification, and heavy sexual flirting? I guess I could multitask and do it. The issue is how much to invest in these time-wasters.

Post: #2

(12-02-2012 09:28 PM)Divorco Wrote:  Maybe instead of boring, comfort-building small talk, I need some teasing, qualification, and heavy sexual flirting?

My only pulls from online game have been relatively outrageous conversations.

If you post a particular line of dialogue we can break it down for you.

Without specifics, my impression is that they're just using you for attention and you're wasting your time.

Post: #3

anything but yes is no, never believe excuses. try something crazy like storm writes.

Post: #4

if you have been talking to her online she isn't gonna give you her number just to talk on the phone.

understand the culture of America.no one uses the phone for calls.

if you are just getting the digits to set up a date. she might just be using you out of boredom.
you gotta step up your game.

like storm said. What do your conversations look like

Post: #5

Play 20 Questions. When you get to the sexual stuff, escalate and buzzkill in a push-pull fashion. Example:

Q: "What's the craziest place you've had sex?"
A: Hahah, the movie theater

buzzkill her:

Q: "What's your favorite color?"
A: um, Blue

re-escalation:

Q: "How many orgasms have you had in one night?"

---------
I quit online game, but whoever said that numbers only result from seriously long conversations is spot-on. Also, wait for a few positive exchanges before playing the question game.

Once you have the number, just text her until you make plans.

On the day of your plans, call her for the first time so she can hear your voice and feel comfortable. I also once had a girl ask to Skype me prior to meeting for the first time. This also works wonders, as you can develop a face-to-face chemistry before even meeting in person. Gives you plenty of inside jokes and fun things to talk about when you do meet.

Post: #6

Text or no text, talk or no talk, email or no email, it doesn't matter dude, those are only the means, nothing else. The end is to get the bitch to meet up with you. Don't waste too much time "building comfort", try to get the bitch to meetup. Hell, once you have the number that's all you should be plotting for.

Post: #7

New revelation this morning. Let me preface this by saying that online game is a great laboratory. If you fail, then it is because of crummy game. It can't be your smell or whatever. I have good pictures and a great, flippant profile. Women message me first.

I am embarrassed at the boring shit I typed. But I have a defense. I am rusty because I just reactivated my online profiles. Also, these women messaged me first. Some of these cases had been delayed for a few days, which is a long time in internet time. I pushed too hard (and lame).

I had a queue to get through. Some of these women had been online for a while and recontacted me. I wanted to cut through the attention whore time-wasters who never meet up. There are women who have been online for years. They may live two hours away, and realistically will never visit. But they will correspond for entertainment forever. I have no regrets about quickly terminating women who are inappropriate young/immature or old with attitude.

Also, two previous women had expressed apprehension. My profile was too cool, there were already differences in age/income/education/whatever. So I was in a comfort-building mindset. Anyway, I typed some lame shit, quickly pushed for phone convo., and got shot down repeatedly.

This morning I wanted to send a flirty reminder to a woman about drinks tomorrow. So I sent a phone text "Naughty Santa is watching you", along with a picture of me as a topless, leather-wearing Santa. Then I thought WTF, and blasted it to a few others. Immediately the replies poured in. One who gave me a bullshit excuse last night just suggested a drink on Wednesday.

I still need to be careful to calibrate the ones who need comfort. But it is probably better to err badass than boring. Also, I'm still concerned about providing free entertainment. Eventually they will sit in a bar showing their girlfriends the funny pictures some cool guy is sending, without reciprocating. I do not want to become a dancing, texting monkey for their amusement.

Post: #8

I pulled a number online last week she said text me sometime. I text her 3 days later and says her brother has been in a coma for 3 days in the hospital...I didn't have the balls to call her out. Might be a legit excuse or greatest buzzkill text of all time from a chick.

Post: #9

I don't see why this is a bad thing.

Why waste time BSing on the phone? Use text to set up the date ASAP.

You can do all the "comfort building" you want when you meet her in person.

Post: #10

(12-03-2012 08:35 AM)haywire Wrote:  Text or no text, talk or no talk, email or no email, ... meetup. Hell, once you have the number that's all you should be plotting for.

I dunno. I have a bad record of presuming the sale and trying to be too efficient and "pushy". If I get the number quickly (by messaging that I am not online much) then it can be very flaky. I think some guys stay in touch by text every day and heat up the interaction prior to the first meeting/date.

Offhand it seems problematic to quickly meet a woman who has a typically blank or uninformative profile. Obviously I have no problem with it (if her pictures are hot). But from her perspective, she sends a message that says "Hi." She probably sent it to a bunch of others. Then I respond and get her number. There is no connection or rapport. She is likely to flake.

If a woman won't talk to me on the phone, then I doubt she will meet for a date. Or am I totally wrong? Partly this is a cultural/generational thing. As a professional, I am habitually reluctant to put anything sexy or flirtatious in text or e-mail. I guess I need to learn text seduction. This seems tricky, because it is difficult to convey inflection or humor by text.

Post: #11

(12-03-2012 08:35 AM)haywire Wrote:  Text or no text, talk or no talk, email or no email, it doesn't matter dude, those are only the means, nothing else. The end is to get the bitch to meet up with you. Don't waste too much time "building comfort", try to get the bitch to meetup. Hell, once you have the number that's all you should be plotting for.

Yup. I agree. Personally I hate making plans through FB. But whatever works. I blew off a girl last week and she blew up my wall yesterday.
"Hey what happened Thursday? I thought we were supposed to hang out. You never called me."

They'll put your bidness out there for everyone to see.

Get 'em on chat and don't make plans through posts. It's no different than text. It goes to their phones anyway.
Just an added layer of separation for them. Make the plans then ask for her number.

Post: #12

I've noticed this with online girls and even girls I met that I get the number from quickly like in passing after a 2 minute conversation. Even if initial contact was really good, they still want a full on text dialogue during which they will further qualify you. It's how American...or modern...women filter guys these days. Really annoying actually.

Post: #13

If you spent half as much time approaching you'd be doing 1000% better in just a few months. Think of it as compound interest.

Post: #14

(12-03-2012 12:40 AM)IQVX Wrote:  Play 20 Questions. When you get to the sexual stuff, escalate and buzzkill in a push-pull fashion. Example:

Q: "What's the craziest place you've had sex?"
A: Hahah, the movie theater

buzzkill her:

Q: "What's your favorite color?"
A: um, Blue

re-escalation:

Q: "How many orgasms have you had in one night?"

---------
I quit online game, but whoever said that numbers only result from seriously long conversations is spot-on. Also, wait for a few positive exchanges before playing the question game.

Once you have the number, just text her until you make plans.

On the day of your plans, call her for the first time so she can hear your voice and feel comfortable. I also once had a girl ask to Skype me prior to meeting for the first time. This also works wonders, as you can develop a face-to-face chemistry before even meeting in person. Gives you plenty of inside jokes and fun things to talk about when you do meet.

Despite all the advice I have seen dudes advocating for not spending too much time on online chicks, the 7 or 8 this year ive spent good amounts of time on, half of them ive gotten to third base and the other half ive gotten SNLs. Half of the 3rd basers I'm still working on.

Post: #15

I find in general these days, no matter how you meet a chick, they avoid answering calls and will respond by texting. I'm big on hearing someone's voice, at least occasionally. However, when I've gotten a number from an online chick, they pick up when I call. Since I like to use online for internationals and out-of-staters, I'm not trying to set up immediate meetings so much as trying to set up meetings when I travel. I'm trying to build comfort for meetings in the somewhat distant future. I've done lots of Skype/MSN/Yahoo videocalls. MSN is merging with Skype, and Yahoo is making changes also. Women generally want to dictate when they give up the phone number, so it's a dice-roll by pushing for it early. It can definitely be a good way to weed out the time-wasters though. If she messages YOU first, it can be a good move to go for the number early on. Some chicks will put on their profile that they don't want to be asked for their phone number and email, and that the don't have Skype, MSN or Yahoo. Bullshit. Practically EVERYONE uses one or all of those. They just want to be the one to offer it.

Post: #16

(12-03-2012 10:51 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

(12-03-2012 08:35 AM)haywire Wrote:  Text or no text, talk or no talk, email or no email, it doesn't matter dude, those are only the means, nothing else. The end is to get the bitch to meet up with you. Don't waste too much time "building comfort", try to get the bitch to meetup. Hell, once you have the number that's all you should be plotting for.

Make the plans then ask for her number.

Excellent advice....

Post: #17

I prefer only text with online girls, just as long as you get to meet them then don't take offense to it....

Post: #18

If I'm on OKC and I'm having a chat conversation, I ask if they'd like to hear my accent (It's British & I am in LA) - sometimes they say yes & they give their number..

If they're a bit apprehensive, I just say - call me and hide your number - this works a lot of the time. Once they talk to me and they like me, they give me their number anyway.

Best time to speak is late at night - their guard is down, and they might be in be in their panties already in a relaxed mood... If I can sense she's feeling a bit horny - I'll try and steer the conversation towards sex & I'll have phone sex with her. Then I say hey, I do all that shit in real life too, why don't you let me show you. That way she'll meet straight at your place. If she's still a bit hesitant - say let's meet at a bar, see if there's mutual attraction and then let's go back to mine if you're interested. This usually works - because the fact that she's willing to meet implies that she's DTF - she just doesn't want to appear slutty!