Post: #1

All of us recently out of college, I've had several friends and acquaintances get married in the last year or two.
This one is hitting me hard though... My college roommate, schoolmate for 4 years, one of my best friends. I haven't seen him for 4 months for various reasons, until we hung out last night. He was wearing Orange pants. Corduroys. Last I heard, 4 months ago, he was macking some girl in his office, which I thought was a bit reckless to begin with...

Now, he's moving to the suburbs next week, in a small satellite commuter city with no downtown, bought all new furniture and appliances, AND his girlfriend (the chick from work) is planning on moving in with him in a month or two....

A year ago he had grand plans of working in various offices with his company around the world. In his exact words: "I want to have as much fun as possible for the next few years!"

It appears his idea of "fun" has changed drastically in the past 12 months....

*sigh*

Post: #2

Wait til you're 30 mate - its one thing when your mates move in with girls, totally different story when they have kids.My best mates with kids I now see about 4 times a year.

Post: #3

(11-25-2012 12:18 PM)lush1 Wrote:  Wait til you're 30 mate - its one thing when your mates move in with girls, totally different story when they have kids.My best mates with kids I now see about 4 times a year.

4 times a year is pretty lucky, I haven't seen some of my married friends for years. I just don't have anything in common with most of them. I do still enjoy the random meetup but my life is drastically different.

OP, just wait a couple of years when their wives get bigger. You won't be so depressed. heh

Post: #4

The same thing is happening to my friends as well. With divorce rates at 50% its sad to think that out of the 4 friends I have that are in serious relationships now with kids that 2 of them will be divorced at some point.

Post: #5

I have a friend that is 24 and just co signed a lease on a house with his girlfriend of 6 months and that has cheat on him in the past. feel bad for him

Post: #6

The reason for your "sadness" comes from the fact that your still plugged in to the matrix. You should consider yourself lucky to still have your freedom and not have anyone to drag you down from reaching your goals. You should see your situation in a positive light.

Post: #7

Many of my friends have decided to ruin their lives as well.

Post: #8

(11-25-2012 01:35 PM)RioNomad Wrote:  Many of my friends have decided to ruin their lives as well.

Hahahaha

Spoken like a man who has seen this happen multiple times already, awesome. Bluntness on this forum is hilarious.

Post: #9

It is very depressing. I have 2 weddings in 2013, one where I am the best man...the bachelor party should be fun, but overall it sucks...

Post: #10

It's just part of the red pill life, to feel sad seeing friends going down the blue pill path.

I knew my current girlfriend's older brother in high school. He was a nice kid, musically and athletically talented, not bad looking - but he had 0% confidence around women. He dated one girl in high school, and after high school, he married the first woman to give him any attention - she's an absolute control freak, weighs 200+ lbs. compared to his 140, he's 5'11" and she's 5'1", etc. He's also 3 years younger than she her.

Last August they got married. Back in June she gave birth to a kid (that, credit to her, does look like the father). Dude's life has been put on lockdown for the next 18 yrs. minimum, nevermind the fact that the signed a marital contract with a woman that at times is a complete intolerable bitch.

Post: #11

I have one friend who is married, and has gotten married quite young (22, his wife 21). They seem fairly happy and have a good household with her as stay-at-home-mother. I can't say what it will look like in 10 or 15 years and how it will end, if any, but for now it seems nice.

Post: #12

Players in North America have to acknowledge that a lot of girls here are pre-programmed like salmon to seek, hunt, and destroy on their path to get married.

Some of you guys in NYC, Vegas, or Cali may say otherwise. That's fine. I hear you, and I've seen it.

But I've also seen the other side. And for most of us who have to inhabit the rest of this continent, that other side is the way it is. Fact is most of the prettiest girls and most handsome guys get married fast. I saw this to some extent even in Cali. When I moved out of Cali, I saw it even more so. How much this fucks up my game where I live now, I can't even tell you. When you live in places like Texas, Iowa, or Oregon, this starts becoming true for the regular-looking chicks too.

So to reiterate. Unless you live in some specialized bubble, I think this thread is b.s.:

/thread-9646.html

Post: #13

Apparently if you wait til 26 before marriage and have a college degree the average "still-together" rate 20 years on is over 80% in USA.

The red pill-blue pill dichotomy is really a false metaphor, because in the movie the Matrix the blue pill means total physical unawareness of your surroundings ( you are not walking around, you are really in a hydroponic cocoon) , not a debatable difference in social perception like anti-marriage versus marriage oriented. Screaming malcontents who've been genuinely shafted grossly distort the debate, while people who are content and safely tucked away at home make little noise.

I saw many, many happy moments between my late parents.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce

Success in marriage has been associated with higher education and higher age. 81% of college graduates, over 26 years of age, who wed in the 1980s, were still married 20 years later. 65% of college graduates under 26, who married in the 1980s, were still married 20 years later. 49% of high school graduates under 26 years old, who married in the 1980s, were still married 20 years later.[26] Population studies have found that in 2004 and 2008, liberal-voting states have lower rates of divorce than conservative-voting states, possibly because people in liberal states tend to wait longer before getting married.[27] In 2009, 2.9% of adults 35–39 without a college degree were divorced, compared with 1.6% with a college education.[28]

The National Center for Health Statistics reports that from 1975 to 1988 in the U.S., in families with children present, wives file for divorce in approximately two-thirds of cases. In 1975, 71.4% of the cases were filed by women, and in 1988, 65% were filed by women.[29] It is estimated that upwards of 95% of divorces in the U.S. are "uncontested", because the two parties are able to come to an agreement without a hearing (either with or without lawyers/mediators/collaborative counsel) about the property, children, and support issues.

Post: #14

I personally want to get married some day. I like the idea of passing on my genes and I don't want to knock a girl up. Is there any way to arrange to be a sperm donor?

Post: #15

(11-25-2012 03:58 PM)Andy_B Wrote:  I personally want to get married some day. I like the idea of passing on my genes and I don't want to knock a girl up. Is there any way to arrange to be a sperm donor?

I called a sperm bank once and they were pretty specific, they wanted medical students under 35 who already had kids.

Post: #16

I think the whole anti-marriage thing is starting to smack of group-think. Like this sort of "us vs. them" mentality going on. If people want to get married, who cares? If you don't, that's your choice and make the best of your own life however you see fit. It doesn't mean that's a bad decision for everyone that chooses it. You'd think there were no instances of happily married people. My dad met my mom when he was 24. He's now 61. They're still married, and they aren't hating every minute of it either. I also have good friends my age that married to good women and I see nothing wrong with their decision. If your buddies found a cool girl they want to settle down with and having a family is goal for them, that's cool, why put down their decision and call them "blue pill" just because of that? If that's your friend, you should be supportive of him, as he should of yours if you opt out of the marriage path.

Post: #17

In the South it's still expected that everyone WILL get married at some point.

Post: #18

(11-25-2012 05:36 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  .... If your buddies found a cool girl they want to settle down with and having a family is goal for them, that's cool, why put down their decision and call them "blue pill" just because of that? If that's your friend, you should be supportive of him, as he should of yours if you opt out of the marriage path.

Righteous. Are you really so smart you know how everybody else should live their lives?

Post: #19

(11-25-2012 12:18 PM)lush1 Wrote:  Wait til you're 30 mate - its one thing when your mates move in with girls, totally different story when they have kids.My best mates with kids I now see about 4 times a year.

This is starting to happen to me now too.

but, I'm trying to see this as a great way to meet new dudes. In fact, I just found out that my neighbor is into game and we poonhunted last night together. This guy used to be a personal trainer and he's friends with a bunch of hot trainer chicks.

So crisis=opportunity, I guess.

Post: #20

Same boat, not much you can do. I have a few weddings to go to in 2013. The annoying part is that as a single guy you become the enemy. Unless she's super cool, your buddies long term girlfriend or wife will eventually see you as a threat. You'll tell him some story about how you picked up a hot 23 year old when you're nearing 30, somehow she'll find out. She'll give him a talk about how you're immature and need to man up or something.

That's what bothers me the most. I've known some guys for years, but they become brainwashed by their girlfriends that somehow because I'm single that it makes me a bad person. I thought I would have earned more loyalty than that, but I guess not. Of course when the break up happens what do I hear...'You were right all along man.'

Post: #21

(11-25-2012 08:01 PM)megatron Wrote:  

(11-25-2012 12:18 PM)lush1 Wrote:  Wait til you're 30 mate - its one thing when your mates move in with girls, totally different story when they have kids.My best mates with kids I now see about 4 times a year.

This is starting to happen to me now too.

but, I'm trying to see this as a great way to meet new dudes. In fact, I just found out that my neighbor is into game and we poonhunted last night together. This guy used to be a personal trainer and he's friends with a bunch of hot trainer chicks.

So crisis=opportunity, I guess.

When certain people enter a new stage in their lives & separate, new ppl whether it be guys or gals enter. Everything happens for a reason so its good to see how you are going with the flow!

Post: #22

(11-25-2012 07:54 PM)deepcov3r Wrote:  

(11-25-2012 05:36 PM)speakeasy Wrote:   If that's your friend, you should be supportive of him, as he should of yours if you opt out of the marriage path.

Righteous. Are you really so smart you know how everybody else should live their lives?

Why post with such a confrontational attitude, man? All speakeasy was saying is that we should respect our friends' lifestyles (even if their lifestyle plan includes marriage), and that same respect should be returned.

Post: #23

(11-25-2012 08:02 PM)Neo Wrote:  Same boat, not much you can do. I have a few weddings to go to in 2013. The annoying part is that as a single guy you become the enemy. Unless she's super cool, your buddies long term girlfriend or wife will eventually see you as a threat. You'll tell him some story about how you picked up a hot 23 year old when you're nearing 30, somehow she'll find out. She'll give him a talk about how you're immature and need to man up or something.

That's what bothers me the most. I've known some guys for years, but they become brainwashed by their girlfriends that somehow because I'm single that it makes me a bad person. I thought I would have earned more loyalty than that, but I guess not. Of course when the break up happens what do I hear...'You were right all along man.'

I even get a lot of this from certain guy friends that are happily married too. Good for them. They will however often ask me when I'm going to settle down, find a girlfriend, etc in a passive aggressive manner, but are secretly jealous of my work/leisure related travels while being single age 28.

I'm personally game with whichever friends of mine's decide to settle down or whichever ones continue to be single like myself. There are married friends of mine's who want the best for me & insist I keep doing what I do bc they realize what's best for themselves might not be best for another individual. Then there are married/serious relationship friends who are very envious and guide me in the wrong direction to just settle for someone bc they want me to be experiencing the same things they are...that's what upsets me.

Post: #24

(11-25-2012 07:54 PM)deepcov3r Wrote:  

(11-25-2012 05:36 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  .... If your buddies found a cool girl they want to settle down with and having a family is goal for them, that's cool, why put down their decision and call them "blue pill" just because of that? If that's your friend, you should be supportive of him, as he should of yours if you opt out of the marriage path.

Righteous. Are you really so smart you know how everybody else should live their lives?

Speakeasy's post was pretty great and this is coming from an anti-marriage guy like myself. If you want to be a true friend, you have to support them in their major life decisions, even if you disagree with them.

Post: #25

A brilliant man once said:


'Being a man is lonely business'

most of your peers will be making all kinds of different choices - the key is for you to make the best one for you and to be able to handle consequences both good and bad. - to hell with what everyone else is doing.


As a fact, most of these couples will be :

1. sexless or relatively so after 3 years or so - especially for the man.
2. the man will be betaized - and really a guest in his own home.
3. his entire productive capacity will be owned by the wife and children for the next 2-4 decades - minimum.

while they may not get divorced, its a fact that the man will be living a life of quiet desperation as Thoreau once said (ot is it Emerson ?).

don't sweat everyone getting married.....