Post: #1

OK, so I moved into a new apt complex which is in the "trendy" part of town. Everyone knows one another in this town often from school, work, and just large, well-established social circles. Reputation is important for these people.

I've read threads like where basically people go to clubs/bars to socialize with their social circle, then girls text or hookup with their fuckbuddy at 2AM. Then XXL's post /thread-15719-...#pid265065 of just being chill & cool, flirty but not aggressive.

I don't know how to create a social circle despite all this with people in my age group. It's embarrassing. In in the South (not originally), and every guy lives for football (Saints, LSU). Im impartial to football, but it's extremely awkward for me to go to a bar during a game when everyone's hootin and hollerin at the TV, while I'm just watching not getting excited one way or another.

My other problem is I've kinda been a regular at quite a few places in town, the cool places. I never locked them down, pulled a girl here or there but also I've heard the bartenderesses call me a "freak" behind my back, or to other regular customers who inquired who I was. Is this salvageable? Whenever I try to be cool I just end up being more whacked out and weird.

In fact, I was hanging out with this chick at one of the popular club bars (posted this in another thread) this Saturday. I had done X with her (no sex despite my tries) the night before. I had just posted myself by the bar and she came to me. I wasn't in a particularly flirty mood, but did a little small talk. When I was I right fucking there just kinda movin to the music, the bartenderess asked the girl, "Why are you hanging out with him?" The girl replied, "cause he's hot." Yeah, girls think I'm hot but the real reason was she was just lookin to score more drugs. I had none though.

It's hard for me to relate to men as platonic friends cause again I'm kinda anarchist nonconformist, don't care a whole lot about football or fishing, and I give a shit about my style, clothes and hairstyle, which is unlike 98% of the guys here. This means they think I'm a freak.

My game with girls is hit or miss. Recently I've been kinda plagued with these thoughts that I'm just a freak and a loser. I've gone out enough now that a lot of people recognize my face, but unfortunately I've convinced myself that they think I'm a freak rather than cool. This is killing my self-esteem with girls.

Additionally, this happened 4x already - I brought a girl home. Maybe the next weekend or so we hang out again (just hanging out at a bar or so) and she introduces me to her friends. This is always fucking awkward for me. I never know what to say. I see guys fucking joking around all the time with each other, laughing, giving hi-fives and then how do I ingratiate myself into this social group that the girl wants to bring me into? Commonalities are zero, I don't even know how to crack up like that LOL.

In two of the cases, two of the girls mentioned above, actually told me they liked me at first cause they thought I was hot and might be cool, but I couldn't pass the test to hang with their scene. The other two just went cold.

It's not that I'm trying to work my way into a girl's scene. I don't want to be cut in. But i want to be cool, to be able to hang, to be able to hang to build that social circle up to create lays and to be that cool guy.

I don't know, man, I don't know. Has anyone been here before? It's really like I'm in high school again, except that in High School I could never recreate myself among the same people. Now I want to recreate myself to the proverbial quarterback. Can anyone offer any solutions? I've been taking this really hard cause it seems like for my whole 29 years of life I've never been able to fit in despite trying.

Post: #2

I'm there too. Where ever I go out I see social circles...
Most social circles have something in common. I'm highly analytically so here is my shot:
1) School: most people just hang out with their (ex-)buddy's from school.
2) Work: after that people hang out with (ex-) colleagues from their workplace.

You also need to have something in common. What I noticed was:
1) Liking the same TV-shows.
2) Liking drugs.
3) Liking the same sports.

Post: #3

Dup thread:
/thread-17622.html

I wrote an excellent post on this topic coming from my own experience. I had zero friends at one point and had to slowly build a social circle. This is the post:
/thread-14679-...#pid243824

What I said in another post is also applicable:
"As for guy friends, the problem with most men is that they expect friends to just fall into their lap through circumstances. Then they complain about the quality of friends that they have around them. You have to look for friends the same way you have to chase tail: by actively going out to public places and meeting new people."
/thread-14936-...#pid248648

Post: #4

Why are you so obsessed in making male friends? This is something that should come natural and you shouldnt force it or try to look for friends.

Try work more on yourself. Be a man that offers value, be highly informed about different subjects, get the habit of talking to everybody without forcing conversations.

Post: #5

With regards to fitting in, I just don't.