Post: #1

I live in the UK and have never visited the USA. So - I just wanted to check something with you guys...

In the UK - people are pretty shy when it comes to allowing strangers to start a conversation with them. People are protective of their 'personal space'. At least during the day - things are a bit easier in bars and nightclubs during the evening. Even then it helps to have a convenient reason to start a conversation. For example being stuck next to someone for a really long time whilst waiting to get served at a bar.

Now - is this different in the US? I remember seeing on TV that in America - strangers seem more relaxed and comfortable with starting a conversation with each other. And the Americans I have met seem to have to more robust social skills, and are more talkative with strangers than the people I know in the UK.

I mean - could you approach a girl in the street in America and just start a conversation with her? Would that be seen as especially unusual in America?

Since over here in the UK - I have never seen that happen. And wonder if it is because people are more reserved and less sociable (at least at first) here in the UK?

Would love to hear from anybody with experiences of the UK and the US to see if they think there are any differences when it comes to approaching a stranger during the day?

Also - I know Europe quite well. And it seems people in Europe are alot more approachable during the day than in the UK. But that might be because as a tourist - I have the slight novelty factor which made it seem less unusual for me to be talking to a complete stranger. Still - I think the difference is a real one.

I mean in the UK we have 1 CCTV camera for every 32 people. Which suggests a certain paranoia when it comes to dealing with people you don't know.

Lastly - the only time, during the day, here in the UK that strangers will tend to converse with each other. Is when they are on a bus or a train and are going to be together for an enforced period of time. Even that can be pretty rare - and is usually restricted to the older people. I never see young people on public transport who are strangers striking up a conversation. Except if the bus/train were to break down or something.

But even that is a long way from an out-right cold approach during daytime...

On a side-note. You only have to take the Tube in London to see how unsociable and paranoid about 'weirdos' British people can be when sharing personal space with each other.

Anyway - just curious if others have noticed any differences between the UK and US when it comes to approaching strangers?

Cardguy

Post: #2

If this were even 15 years ago, I would say yes, but things have changed. You see young people all over the world now in every major city with their faces stuck in their iphones, etc. Heck, every time I go to the supermarket here I see some teenie walking with her mom with her face buried in some smartphone. It's everywhere now. But people in the US certainly have that 'weirdo radar' going constantly when it comes to people their don't know.

In short, it seems that these days people do not go beyond their social circles anymore (this is very anti-democratic if you ask me and over the long-term has the ability to destroy a nation).

It used to be considered good, social practice to be able to strike up a conversation with a stranger and get to know them. Now you are the anti-social creepy that needs to learn people skills.

The only time in the EU I do not get that vibe is with the older generation 40+. Different folks.

Post: #3

I don't know about the US but here in Canada everyone is really shy, but friendly enough once you talk to them. If it wasn't so beta the greatest opener in canada would be saying excuse me or sorry to a girl shed reply with sorry then shed try to walk past you and you'd say sorry again, so would she. By that point you're set, just grab her number and ask her out for beer and poutine.

Post: #4

I thought people in the UK were more likely to talk to strangers and more likely to interact with strangers. Americans would talk to you in passing only.

Post: #5

I'm from UK originally and I now live in the US.

With the UK it's a north/south thing...people in Northern England are a lot more open and talkative than people in the South.

In London talking to somebody on public transport in unacceptable, unless it's late at night and everybody's had a bit to drink.

I think it is possible to talk to people "out in the open" in UK, if you have the balls to. I feel the same way about Los Angeles. I'm a bit shy to approach, but I know of plenty of guys in UK who've got numbers in that way. Why do you think a lot of teenagers hang out in shopping malls in UK? There's a lot of girls passing through...

One big difference between the US (well Los Angeles at least) and UK is this phrase: "Hi, how's it going?"

UK - if somebody asks you that, they're actually interested to see how you are doing. They'll stick around and have a conversation.
US - it really means just "Hi". People will say "Hi, how's it going?" and carry on walking to wherever they are. They do not expect you to tell them how you really are doing.