Post: #1

   

http://www.details.com/sex-relationships...rentPage=1

I stumbled on this piece, and it's a piece about how men in their 30s and 40s are viewed by their married peers, and how it's automatically assumed that somehow something must be wrong with you...

Post: #2

Link?

I think a lot of the stigma concerning unmarried older men is simple jealousy. These are guys that didn't fuck up their lives by tying themselves down to a woman decreasing in attractiveness and value every year.

Post: #3

(10-26-2012 01:20 PM)MSW2007 Wrote:  Link?

I think a lot of the stigma concerning unmarried older men is simple jealousy. These are guys that didn't fuck up their lives by tying themselves down to a woman decreasing in attractiveness and value every year.

Sorry about that...I posted without adding the link.

Post: #4

(10-26-2012 01:20 PM)MSW2007 Wrote:  Link?

I think a lot of the stigma concerning unmarried older men is simple jealousy. These are guys that didn't fuck up their lives by tying themselves down to a woman decreasing in attractiveness and value every year.

Maybe there's a little of that with married guys who hate their wives and are secretly jealous of their unmarried bachelor friends, but I think it's mostly just social and cultural attitudes and norms.

In our society, (especially mainstream "white suburban culture"), it's the norm for people to go to college in their early 20's, then find a "good job" in their mid-20's, and then "settle down" and get married in their late 20's-early 30's, then have kids in their early to mid 30's.

This is basically the progression or pattern that mainstream society aims to take, therefore if you are an unmarried man in the U.S. at the age of 35+, a lot of your square peers may look down on you or question why you aren't married.

Because you are outside the matrix of mainstream social norms, they assume something must be wrong with you, usually that you are gay, or that you are severely awkward, socially impaired, or have psychological issues.

We all know this is a crock of shit, but most of us on here have "taken the red pill" so to speak.

I do think there is a natural progression for a lot of men to want to slow down and focus more on long term relationships as they age and get older, but obviously that's not for everyone.

Personally, I wouldn't mind getting married if I met the right chick in my late 30's or 40's... But my experience with American women makes me very skeptical that this will ever happen, whether it be nasty attitudes, acting entitled, lying, being manipulative, cheating, etc., the list goes on. I just can't see myself finding a woman good enough here, that I'd want to devote myself to being with them for the rest of my life.

Post: #5

i wonder if there's a corresponding piece on women in the same age group that aren't married and how their married friends view them.

Post: #6

I can't wait to be that guy. Oh wait that's right...I'll be in another country, not showing up to brunch dates with married couples, nevermind!

Post: #7

I am this guy.

Even the most hardcore poon hound in my squad bought a ring last year.

I've almost been saddled twice, but things fall apart © achebe.

I'm leaning towards it not happening cause I no longer have the tolerance or patience for poor behavior.

WIA

Post: #8

this article is just shaming middle age unmarried men to "get with it" and marry.

while this article does mention one of the unmarried guys adversion to marriage because of it ending in divorce. it does not however cover the full list of other reasons men are staying single:

-american women gain weight/chop off hair after marraige
-divorce/alimony favor females
-no stigma for having sex outside of marriage
-sex often decreases in quality and quantity after marriage
-freedom decreases
-one pussy for life
-fear of ending up unhapppy like some of your married friends

Post: #9

I dont see how it is true. Maybe some middle country shit but most men either hate their marriage or on their second or third.

Being AA, it seems like most of us love women too much. Almost all the older married men in my unit are smashing. Anytime I tell them I'm not trying to get married or have kids they say "you are smart". Maybe its a cultural or demographics thing. Not military and not black. We have been fucked over too many times over these last 13 years of war to look down on any non married man haha.

Jody has fucked us over a little too much.

Post: #10

"Any young man who is unmarried at the age of twenty one is a menace to the community.” - attributed to Brigham Young.


unmarried adult men make people slightly uncomfortable.

-Married men envy you / hate you
-Married women fear you and the influence you may have on their men - by being free
-Single women hate you because they know that you have figured out the racket and are harder to trap.
-"Society" doesnt like you because you are not forced to be a slave to the consumer-tax-work "system".
...you have nothing tying you down nor anything that commits you fight for the Society.... hence your presence is inherently discomforting to many .....

Post: #11

I've even been question by family members for being in my mid 20's for not having a girlfriend or ever bringing girls around. I don't even wanna know what it's gonna be like in 10 or 15 years.

Post: #12

Being a never married 43 year old, I run into this a fair bit.

What I am curious about, this just came to mind, is what the reaction would be if I said I had been married 4 times with 4 kids.

I may toss that out a few times to test the reaction.... I know what they say about the never married thing; Why not? Don't you want kids? yadda yadda yadda

Post: #13

Can the old players give us examples of what people tell y'all?

Post: #14

Tell or ask?

My family doesn't say anything about it anymore as they realized I do what I want and refuse to live by society considers the norm. My younger brother getting divorced a couple years ago was the final nail in that, not that it came up much at all before.

Broads start qualifying themselves when I tell them I like ALL of my shit, not just half of it.

Pretty comical really.

Post: #15

(10-26-2012 05:55 PM)houston Wrote:  Can the old players give us examples of what people tell y'all?

Well first off most married people don't run around the way I do so I don't spend much time with them but anyone who sees me and my kid assumes I'm divorced. I tell them nope never married then I get the oh oh thing.

My examples for relatives asking about why I don't get married:
" So I can have a fat wife like your nephew?"
" How'd it work out for your plus sized sister?"
Stuff like that. I'm a dick. ask me a dickish question you get it served back cold.

For da ladies:
" For what?"
" Are you crazy?"
"Please"
" What's your offer?" I say that all the time it's my personal shit test

When girls see how you take care of your kid when you have one it bypasses all questions of your value and integrity.

Post: #16

I remember in college listening to a girl go on about how she was looking for the perfect "starter" husband to be with for two years or so, divorce him for half his money and then go on to find "true, everlasting" happiness with a new man. Never in my life had I seen such a hamster in action. I decided right then and there marriage in America is a fool's errand; our culture is so fucked girls are encouraged to dream not only the perfect wedding but the perfect divorce. No fucking thank you, Western civ.

Maybe if I ever moved to Ukraine or EE permanently, but you couldn't pay me enough to roll the dice with a Western girl. There is literally no upside at all. Financially? She'll spend your money on shit you don't need and take half when she decides it's over. Physically? Be prepared for the inevitable weight gain and lack of sex. Companionship? She'll disregard years of dedication and sacrifice the moment an alpha cock strolls by and you'll be out in the cold.

I'll take the stigma over the reality any day of the week. Thanks, but no thanks, America.

Post: #17

(10-26-2012 05:53 PM)Hotwheels Wrote:  Being a never married 43 year old, I run into this a fair bit.

What I am curious about, this just came to mind, is what the reaction would be if I said I had been married 4 times with 4 kids.

I may toss that out a few times to test the reaction.... I know what they say about the never married thing; Why not? Don't you want kids? yadda yadda yadda

You would be surprised. And I think women go for it for a lot of reasons. Because other women qualified you, you can't be that bad, your reproductive organs work properly, you are damaged goods and they will "fix" or manipulate you. ect. ect. The list goes on.

(10-26-2012 05:55 PM)houston Wrote:  Can the old players give us examples of what people tell y'all?

I tell girls "I have been traveling pretty steady since 2004 internationally for my career, and thinks it selfish to have a wife with a kid who wouldn't even have known me. And worry about whether I was coming back home alive." ect ect.

I know it's pretty sappy, but the other shit I was using was instantly KILLING me, at the exact moment I said it.

I'm tired of typing, but tomorrow I'll give older players a couple hamster nukers that are tried and proven.

Post: #18

(10-26-2012 06:52 PM)Aliblahba Wrote:  You would be surprised. And I think women go for it for a lot of reasons. Because other women qualified you, you can't be that bad, your reproductive organs work properly, you are damaged goods and they will "fix" or manipulate you. ect. ect. The list goes on.

Yep, this is part of their reasoning in Ukraine. It is actually better to be divorced than never married after you get a certain age there. They will look as if you couldn't get a woman because there is something wrong with you.

I really never had a problem in the US. I never gave it much thought though. I have been married briefly but the marriage thing never really came up before or after.

I just tell them I am looking for my soul mate.

Post: #19

What's funny is girls that ask usually have enough baggage to fill the all the compartments on a Greyhound. I've become a serial dater the last couple months and i'll tell you the other shoe will drop very fast when you know what to look for. No problems here because I'm done anyway by the time I finger it out.

Post: #20

@ el-mech- how did you swing having a kid and not getting married? I believe you mentioned somewhere else that you pay child support. How does that happen? Is it based on % of income?

Post: #21

(10-26-2012 07:41 PM)DVY Wrote:  @ el-mech- how did you swing having a kid and not getting married? I believe you mentioned somewhere else that you pay child support. How does that happen? Is it based on % of income?

I don't pay child support but I should be receiving it. We'll see I'm getting close to dropping my hammer.

Post: #22

44 years old and I've never been married. I was engaged at 22, but the Army saved me. they sent her to Korea, and me to Georgia. All of my married friends tell me that I'm the smartest guy that they know, because I am free and clear. All of my female relatives constantly say that they're prepping me for marriage, because I'm so laid back, and I'm great with kids. I say fuck that. I tell them all that I'm saving myself for Oprah. Why? Because she's the sexiest woman on Earth. It has something to do with the 1.3 billion dollar (LIQUID) net worth.

Post: #23

I got this from my friend's fat wife.

Her: If you know so much about women and relationships then why aren't you married?

Me: Because I'm smart!!

Her Husband: HAHAHAHAHA

Her: SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

Post: #24

(10-26-2012 02:33 PM)at350zguyy Wrote:  i wonder if there's a corresponding piece on women in the same age group that aren't married and how their married friends view them.

I've read pieces like that in the past. Of course, women put up the front that they're truly happy without having a man, or even prospects of a relationship when they're asked why they aren't married. We all know that's nonsense though. If a woman doesn't have someone in her life, there's a hole there. The ones with little prospect of having someone fill the void with pets. Men, on the other hand, can be perfectly happy without marriage or relationships - most can be perfectly happy with some occasional pussy, or having a different regular girl every few weeks/months. Single women and people that are coupled-up can't allow themselves to believe that.

Post: #25

I'm dealing with this right now & I'm not even 30 yet (where I live everyone marries & cranks out 2-4 kids in their mid to late 20's). If you are unmarried in your 30-40's people will envy you.