Post: #26

(10-23-2012 09:20 AM)MattC Wrote:  Mate, you are telling us way too much information and are coming across as desperate and needy. If that's how you're coming across here, I dread to think what you come across to her as.

Look at some of the links Roosh has provided to other blogs. I would recommend UMan and the broad study program. We've given you so much, we're not your emotional tampons. Work this shit out man. Read what you've posted and think how it comes across. Really think.

I just thought the more info i would mention the easier it will be for you guys.

To be honest I kind of do want this to go further so I guess I am desperate but I am trying to make it seem like I am not in the messages I am sending to her.

I am reading the info. I've made sure I make a few spelling mistakes, don't punctuate everything so i dont come across as too 'perfect' in my texts. I made sure I kept the conversation going but haven't written text marathons. I sometimes don't text her back instantly so I don't seem as desperate. So yeah I am reading the stuff but I don't want to send a really stupid nerdy text if you know what I mean so I was just checking some things with you guys as i'm a bit of an amateur

Post: #27

Yeah dude if your stressing out about one little reply to a text then you care wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too much. Caring too much is needy and desperate, which is the number 1 turn off for girls. Please go and read Rooshs text messaging guide or re-read it 5 times over if you have already. I cant tell you how much it helped me out in the newb stage.

When your a beginner its best to text as little as possible and keep them short and to the point so you minimize your mistakes. Once you improve you can start getting more creative.

Post: #28

If you aren't going to do exactly as I say, there's no point in helping you. I suspect you're a troll but if not then you're hopeless. Enjoy losing your girl

Post: #29

(10-23-2012 09:35 AM)Nudge Wrote:  Yeah dude if your stressing out about one little reply to a text then you care wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too much. Caring too much is needy and desperate, which is the number 1 turn off for girls. Please go and read Rooshs text messaging guide or re-read it 5 times over if you have already. I cant tell you how much it helped me out in the newb stage.

When your a beginner its best to text as little as possible and keep them short and to the point so you minimize your mistakes. Once you improve you can start getting more creative.

Ok well I will read it again but even though I am kinda desperate, when I am sending the text messages I am trying to do it in a way that does not seem desperate.

(10-23-2012 09:50 AM)Samseau Wrote:  If you aren't going to do exactly as I say, there's no point in helping you. I suspect you're a troll but if not then you're hopeless. Enjoy losing your girl

Ok well thanks for the help anyway. I do appreciate it but I have got to make my own decisions sometimes too. And I promise I'm not a troll. I don't think I would lose her. She is clearly very attracted to me otherwise she wouldnt have said i was hot when i first met her, then SHE wouldn't have tried to start a conversation with me, SHE wouldn't have asked for my number, SHE wouldn't have shown me her tattoos that were around the top of her legs/ass area, SHE wouldn't have said to me 'lets dance' etc.

Post: #30

(10-23-2012 12:43 PM)hamburgerandbeans Wrote:  

(10-23-2012 09:35 AM)Nudge Wrote:  Yeah dude if your stressing out about one little reply to a text then you care wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too much. Caring too much is needy and desperate, which is the number 1 turn off for girls. Please go and read Rooshs text messaging guide or re-read it 5 times over if you have already. I cant tell you how much it helped me out in the newb stage.

When your a beginner its best to text as little as possible and keep them short and to the point so you minimize your mistakes. Once you improve you can start getting more creative.

Ok well I will read it again but even though I am kinda desperate, when I am sending the text messages I am trying to do it in a way that does not seem desperate.

(10-23-2012 09:50 AM)Samseau Wrote:  If you aren't going to do exactly as I say, there's no point in helping you. I suspect you're a troll but if not then you're hopeless. Enjoy losing your girl

Ok well thanks for the help anyway. I do appreciate it but I have got to make my own decisions sometimes too. And I promise I'm not a troll. I don't think I would lose her. She is clearly very attracted to me otherwise she wouldnt have said i was hot when i first met her, then SHE wouldn't have tried to start a conversation with me, SHE wouldn't have asked for my number, SHE wouldn't have shown me her tattoos that were around the top of her legs/ass area, SHE wouldn't have said to me 'lets dance' etc.

That's some strong IOI right there. You should've fucked her that night.

Post: #31

(10-23-2012 12:43 PM)hamburgerandbeans Wrote:  

(10-23-2012 09:35 AM)Nudge Wrote:  Yeah dude if your stressing out about one little reply to a text then you care wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too much. Caring too much is needy and desperate, which is the number 1 turn off for girls. Please go and read Rooshs text messaging guide or re-read it 5 times over if you have already. I cant tell you how much it helped me out in the newb stage.

When your a beginner its best to text as little as possible and keep them short and to the point so you minimize your mistakes. Once you improve you can start getting more creative.

Ok well I will read it again but even though I am kinda desperate, when I am sending the text messages I am trying to do it in a way that does not seem desperate.

(10-23-2012 09:50 AM)Samseau Wrote:  If you aren't going to do exactly as I say, there's no point in helping you. I suspect you're a troll but if not then you're hopeless. Enjoy losing your girl

Ok well thanks for the help anyway. I do appreciate it but I have got to make my own decisions sometimes too. And I promise I'm not a troll. I don't think I would lose her. She is clearly very attracted to me otherwise she wouldnt have said i was hot when i first met her, then SHE wouldn't have tried to start a conversation with me, SHE wouldn't have asked for my number, SHE wouldn't have shown me her tattoos that were around the top of her legs/ass area, SHE wouldn't have said to me 'lets dance' etc.

You can lose her very quickly if you overkill with the texting, as mentioned before you will say too much or the wrong thing.
She has given you easy shit tests and you did not give the right answer.
I also get the impression you could have fucked her the same night, all this other stuff is wasting time and your about to drop the ball.
Set up a date at a pub and take it from there.
Trust me she will like you more if you stay aloof and quiet, not if you text every minute like a desperado.

Post: #32

OP, honestly I don't understand why you are posting here. Nobody can help you if you refuse to help yourself.

Post: #33

hamburgerandbeans Wrote:I have to make my own decisions too so I have tried to meet both in the middle and compromise.

"Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing."
- Salvador Dalì

Post: #34

(10-23-2012 09:50 AM)Samseau Wrote:  If you aren't going to do exactly as I say, there's no point in helping you. I suspect you're a troll but if not then you're hopeless. Enjoy losing your girl

Post: #35

(10-23-2012 03:58 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

(10-23-2012 12:43 PM)hamburgerandbeans Wrote:  

(10-23-2012 09:35 AM)Nudge Wrote:  Yeah dude if your stressing out about one little reply to a text then you care wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too much. Caring too much is needy and desperate, which is the number 1 turn off for girls. Please go and read Rooshs text messaging guide or re-read it 5 times over if you have already. I cant tell you how much it helped me out in the newb stage.

When your a beginner its best to text as little as possible and keep them short and to the point so you minimize your mistakes. Once you improve you can start getting more creative.

Ok well I will read it again but even though I am kinda desperate, when I am sending the text messages I am trying to do it in a way that does not seem desperate.

(10-23-2012 09:50 AM)Samseau Wrote:  If you aren't going to do exactly as I say, there's no point in helping you. I suspect you're a troll but if not then you're hopeless. Enjoy losing your girl

Ok well thanks for the help anyway. I do appreciate it but I have got to make my own decisions sometimes too. And I promise I'm not a troll. I don't think I would lose her. She is clearly very attracted to me otherwise she wouldnt have said i was hot when i first met her, then SHE wouldn't have tried to start a conversation with me, SHE wouldn't have asked for my number, SHE wouldn't have shown me her tattoos that were around the top of her legs/ass area, SHE wouldn't have said to me 'lets dance' etc.

You can lose her very quickly if you overkill with the texting, as mentioned before you will say too much or the wrong thing.
She has given you easy shit tests and you did not give the right answer.
I also get the impression you could have fucked her the same night, all this other stuff is wasting time and your about to drop the ball.
Set up a date at a pub and take it from there.
Trust me she will like you more if you stay aloof and quiet, not if you text every minute like a desperado.

Ok I let her send the last text and I haven't bothered texting her since then (that was yesterday at around 2pm and it is now 12:06 the next day). I'm not going to send any more texts but I am going to create a facebook event for a nightout and invite her to it on November 10th.

I want to take her home but there are a few things:
1) I don't want to come off as too desperate in person. I don't want to be like 'can i just come round to yours'?

2) My mate is giving me a place to stay for the night. I am pre-drinking at his house beforehand, I am taking all my stuff into his house like clothes for the next day a sleeping bag for the night etc. His mum is expecting me to be at his house. I don't really want to be rude to him and say 'i am coming out but not staying at yours'. Also last time I was making out with this girl, he briefly saw me kissing her and just went mad. He later apologised but i think he was jealous and if I stayed at this girls house this would make him even more jealous. If I tell him that I am staying at this girls house, he may be pissed off but also tell his mum that I won't be round because i am staying at hers and then there is the possibility she tells my mum and :/

3) If she says 'no', then things will be super awkward because I actually KNOW her and she is likely to tell all my school friends who are also my mates.

4) I've got a small dick (yeah i just admitted it on the internet) and shit could get embarrassing. Especially because she knows me and all my mates so she may start saying some embarrassing stories.

5) Her family would probably all be round her house. So it would be weird to have sex with her when her brother is there, her mum, dad etc. I have never met her parents either so they probably wont be happy if a random person comes home with her after clubbing (it is kind of obvious to her parents what we will be doing).



What was I meant to say to the easy shit tests?

I think she may have given me another shit test as well before. She said 'I love how we both haven't mentioned the kissing yesterday yet!' and then after a few more texts back and forth she said 'i've kissed a lot of the *name of school* people now... all have been when i am pissed LOL'. And I sent one back saying 'oh really. who have you kissed?'. She said 'don't even go there haha'. I said 'I bet it is steve williams lol. Cmon tell me who you kissed, i wont mention it to *name of school* people'. Btw steve williams is this super ugly, weird kid! She said 'NOOO haha i do have some standards! alex, kyle, u, jack etc'. I'm not sure if that convo was another shit test from her (specifically when she said 'don't go there')?

And she isn't really a very clever girl lol. She isnt mega slaggy but at the same time she probably just thought it was completely normal to pull up her skirt to show me her tattoos.

One other thing... at the beginning of the night she was taking pics with this guy (he's not a good looking guy at all so she wasnt interested at all). I was right next to him but I was having a conversation with someone else. Then she said 'ben! lets have a photo' so she took a pic. The next day I noticed she uploaded all the pics she had taken that night onto facebook and instagram apart from the photos I had been in with her. Not sure what to make of this really..?

Post: #36

(10-23-2012 01:36 PM)MattC Wrote:  That's some strong IOI right there. You should've fucked her that night.

This is gonna sound dumb but what is IOI?

Post: #37

@ hamburgerand beans: SO MANY MISTAKES! Dude, I don't even know where to begin. Let's try and break it down as best as possible. You started off pretty well based on what you wrote. Your problems started when you started repeatedly texting her asking her where she was. This translates to a certain level of neediness and putting her on a pedestal. Texting her once, and only once, would have been fine. You simply were wondering where she had gone, to you it would have made no difference where she was. Even though she was texting you back, while drunk, it was a bad move and wasted effort. Then the calling started, which was extra wasted effort because neither one of you could hear the other. When that started you should have sent her a text saying you'd call her tomorrow and left it at that. The next day back&forth cutesy texting was also a big no no. Too caring and available even though you took time to reply. I'd say learn from the experience, move on and cut your losses.

Post: #38

And IOI means indicator of interest

Post: #39

(10-24-2012 02:06 PM)Alpha Hunter Zero Wrote:  @ hamburgerand beans: SO MANY MISTAKES! Dude, I don't even know where to begin. Let's try and break it down as best as possible. You started off pretty well based on what you wrote. Your problems started when you started repeatedly texting her asking her where she was. This translates to a certain level of neediness and putting her on a pedestal. Texting her once, and only once, would have been fine. You simply were wondering where she had gone, to you it would have made no difference where she was. Even though she was texting you back, while drunk, it was a bad move and wasted effort. Then the calling started, which was extra wasted effort because neither one of you could hear the other. When that started you should have sent her a text saying you'd call her tomorrow and left it at that. The next day back&forth cutesy texting was also a big no no. Too caring and available even though you took time to reply. I'd say learn from the experience, move on and cut your losses.

Thanks for the reply. Well basically it was a school reunion so the whole group of us went drinking in the pub and then we went to a club. Gradually the group started getting smaller and we all kind of lost each other. I only had 2 of the people's numbers in that group - some guy who was right next to me so there was no need to text him asking where he was, and her number. That's why I did it. She kept replying saying where she was but she couldn't write a normal text. And when she called me in the loud club, I kept saying 'hang on, hang on, i am walking to a quiet area' and just as I got outside into the smoking area she hung up.

Ok but tbh she texted me first and I replied and she kept following it on with more stuff and questions so I kind of had to reply. I couldn't just stop when she asked me a question. But I can see where you are coming from and I definitely did over-do it on the texting front.

I haven't texted her in a while now. I am going to leave things and may be text her just before we go out on November 13th. Or maybe closer to November 13th when I create a facebook event for the renuion I will send her a message like 'go on facebook' or something like that.

And sorry to everyone if I came off as rude when I didn't take your advice. Didn't mean to be rude there, I apologise!

Post: #40

Remember if you do nothing, you get nothing.

"Hey it was fun hanging with you the other night."
If you get a positive response

Hey, I am going to (movie, club, party, event), would you like to join me?

You have your own plan that you are going to do anyway, but invite her to come along.
Rather than building something (needy) around her.

Post: #41

Mate, your gonna wait until Nov 13th?! Thats ages away. Stop making pathetic excuses and get this chick out on a solo date with a clear plan to shag her. If your not ready then fine, wait until Thailand and bag yourself an easy Thai bird. But seriously, if your not gonna listen to all the advice here and try to bone her like we all say, don't post here. This forum is primarily in the business of getting laid. Full stop. Not of making out with girls on a group night out or worrying what all of her friends might think or your friends might think etc etc blah blah. Everyone here is trying to help you get laid, if you don't want to take the advice then that's fine, but don't keep asking "oh what should I text next?" or "what does this fb shite mean" when we have all told you what you need to do.

Sorry to be harsh but thats the way it is. Make a real effort to shag her or move on to the next one.

Post: #42

(10-24-2012 06:30 PM)Nudge Wrote:  Mate, your gonna wait until Nov 13th?! Thats ages away. Stop making pathetic excuses and get this chick out on a solo date with a clear plan to shag her. If your not ready then fine, wait until Thailand and bag yourself an easy Thai bird. But seriously, if your not gonna listen to all the advice here and try to bone her like we all say, don't post here. This forum is primarily in the business of getting laid. Full stop. Not of making out with girls on a group night out or worrying what all of her friends might think or your friends might think etc etc blah blah. Everyone here is trying to help you get laid, if you don't want to take the advice then that's fine, but don't keep asking "oh what should I text next?" or "what does this fb shite mean" when we have all told you what you need to do.

Sorry to be harsh but thats the way it is. Make a real effort to shag her or move on to the next one.

Woops that was a mistake. I am leaving on November 13th. We are going to see each other on the Saturday before I leave which is November 10th.

We can only go out clubbing on Saturday so the only other Saturdays are the one in 2 days (27th) but she says she is skint so don't make it that day. The next is November 3rd. I could make it then I guess but I just thought that since we had all met up only 2 weeks ago, that would be a too short gap. The saturday after is the 10th.

Ok I will try and give her some subtle hints I want to get laid with her but I don't want to be too straight to the point with her that I want sex. Because if she says no, then that is our friendship gone. But if she takes those hints, I will try and take her home. Still though I don't want to be harsh on my mate who is offering me a place to stay, his mum is expecting me to go round his at the end of the night etc.

And I'm not going to Thailand for sex. Plus I don't really find Thai's attractive compared to the girls I meet here.

Post: #43

I don't think any 1 text will save you, but rather how you do things. From your story I gather that you plateau a lot. When you were making out and feeling each other up, that is about all you can do in a club. At that point you need to bounce and get the lay. If you are going for the sexual approach you can't just stop, you have to take it all the way when you can. It sounds like your text messages do the same. Escalate shit. Push for a meetup.