Post: #1

So I'm in a ballroom dance class with some girls. A lot of us head over to this bar around the corner after the class is over. So I'm there talking to a girl from my class who I felt has been giving me some signals during class for the past few sessions. She was there with another female friend but the friend was dancing with some other guys. We're sitting on stools, both angled 45 degrees toward each other, my knee is touching the side of her leg. We talk for a good 20-30 minutes, our faces are super close to each other as we talk, and she's clearly intrigued by my background and lifestyle. Building a connection by being lighthearted and witty, yet serious at times too. Basically joking around but getting to know each other too. All is well. Her friend comes back but she's totally cool about the situation, dutifully just standing off to the side like a good friend should and letting us converse.

Later though, another female friend of theirs comes and joins the conversation, leading the initial friend to come over too. Now there's the three of them and me. The newest girl mentions some new guy in their university, who's supposedly really good-looking but none of them have met him yet. This went on for a good five minutes. I tried to just let the two friends talk to each other and try to talk to my original girl again, and she was pretty receptive, but the newest girl just wouldn't leave and continued to talk about the dude.

I was trying to think of a way to reframe the image of the guy into that of a beta somehow, but my mind was drawing a blank. I didn't want to make an insulting comment about him, as I didn't know him. And even if I did, that's not how I like to operate because that would just show insecurity.

At the same time, I wasn't about to continue sitting there like a chump. I had made a connection, evidenced by the fact that I was making physical contact with the girl's arms, hands, and legs when we talked, she clearly was into me, and so I didn't feel like I would be bolting too early (before a connection could be made). Since I couldn't come up with anything to say to reframe the talk about the other guy, I decided to leave. I probably should have gotten her number somewhere before all that, but at that point, I decided to just leave instead of getting her number with all her friends there and then bolting immediately after (one of our members commented on this in a thread, but I prefer getting the digits somewhere in the middle and not the very end).

How would you guys have handled this situation? (Either the reframing the convo part, getting the contact info part, or anything)

Post: #2

I would have first tried to take the girl to another location, either the other side of the bar or smoke area outside. This is a good test of compliancy and degree of rapport.

Otherwise, just talk about anything else, like dance class or their dancing history or your favorite bars to go to in the area. If you don't know anything about the guy there's nothing you can do to tool him so just change the damn topic of conversation.

Post: #3

Anything but yes is no.

Post: #4

Anytime girls are talking about a guy in front of me I'll say something like

"Man this guy sounds dreamy!"

or

"This guy sounds like a stallion no! a Clydesdale."

and then tease them.

Post: #5

I hate it when women mention other guys they've slept with. Yeah, of course, I know it happens and go big, but it just seems so classless from a woman.

I was in bed with this one the other morning and she was talking about another guy we both knew and mentioned that they both "fucked" once. At the same time she's treating me like she's ready to hop into a relationship or something.

Okay, I realize what century it is and that I'm back in America at the moment unfortunately, but this type of shit from a woman's mouth still makes me gag. I take it as they're shit-testing me and trying to show me that they can get other guys. My frame is usually pretty strong and aloof and leaves them wondering why they can't shake me or get me to chase, so I think it's their way of trying to regain some power - but when the hell did women get the idea that guys like to hear this sort of thing? Especially when we haven't slept together much or yet...

I also get this sort of thing a lot from women who are trying to get my attention before I'm even trying. Just met and all these mentions of all these guys she's talking with and/or getting messages from, etc. Okay, I get it - lame dudes find you desirable. You have a sex life. Great. This type of thing will never turn me on, so please just keep it to yourself...

Just a quick rant, really. I'm over it.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #6

Yeah man... where did they get the idea that this is going to serve them in any way? It's just repulsive, lol. TV and magazines, my answer. I think calling them out on it is cool. Or just visibly showing you're slightly repulsed. It's not reactive; you're showing them what they're doing is making them LESS desirable, which it is..

Post: #7

Interrupting, with aha-like urgency:

"That reminds me! Can I ask you guys some advice on something?"

Make some scandalous shit up. Take your girl out of there after 5-10 minutes of bullshit. "Come grab something to drink with me" or "Let me try this new move I've been trying to perfect on you." In both cases, physically grabbing her and standing up.

Don't let bitches pollute your approaches and cockblock.

Post: #8

(10-08-2012 10:29 PM)chakri Wrote:  ...The newest girl mentions some new guy in their university, who's supposedly really good-looking but none of them have met him yet. This went on for a good five minutes...

and then i snap thinking this is getting out of control so i decide to distract them all by starting new edgy threads/topics delivering it in a way that make her react emotionally..

- blablabla new hot guy blablabla [for 5 minutes]
- what?! that's pathethic
- whaaat?!
- you're so pathethic! talking about some guy you don't know for so long, you know what he's thinking about right now? not you. you know what he's doing right now? you don't really want to know
- shut up you don't know him he's so cute blablabla..
- pff.. omg girl.. how old are you?
- you're mean blablablabla..
- hahah i'm just kidding..
- ha! i knew it! you're weak
- i don't really care how old you actually are, it doesn't matter, you sound like almost sixteen, that's all i need to know
- whaaat? you're blablabla
- hey it's ok just be real girl, be cool, you're acting immature, be normal!
- what the fuck you mean blablabla..
- [to my girl] hey you know you girl friends are so high tempered i love that, i love you girls, let's all hug, no no no, for real i dig that, most girl are soooo passive..
- whaaaaat?! no you said i'm immature and blablabla
- hey! i was just kidding then for fuck sake, it was a JOKE, can't you take a fucking joke? it's ok not everybody has to get it instantly, some people are slow, it's ok, i love you though, come here..
- blablablabla..
- omg we have so much chemistry right now you're my best friends from now on, and this is NOT a joke ok, i want to adopt you as my little sisters to take care of, you're so cute
- etc etc etc

what i described is example of distracting girl and throwing out edgy bits that provoke emotional reaction from girls you're interacting with. there's no way in hell that they can ignore things like calling them pathethic/immature/cute little sisters/too short/drunk/slow/special/chubby/etc, they WILL respond to that emotionally.

now the key to make it work is to change these edgy threads FAST and never linger on one thread. cut thread, next thread, cut thread, next thread, etc, not giving her enough time to understand/process every single thread.

the reason that it works is that new thread is basically new emotion. it's unpredictable and overwhelming as they feel new emotion every few seconds, they're occupied with dealing with that and forget about they talked about earlier.

Post: #9

(10-08-2012 10:53 PM)kickboxer Wrote:  Anytime girls are talking about a guy in front of me I'll say something like

"Man this guy sounds dreamy!"

or

"This guy sounds like a stallion no! a Clydesdale."

and then tease them.

^^ This.

Talk the guy up and push her away, and she'll want you more. Definitely don't use using logic to persuade her that he's a beta etc. I'd usually say ' Wow, this guy sounds amazing, what is his secret? How can I be as awesome as he is?' But say it with a genuine expression and maybe a slight smirk to follow.

Post: #10

I like Kickboxer's reply.

This has been a huge problem for me- thanks for making the thread.

Like any shit test, of course the answer is always agree and amplify to ridicule them.

Post: #11

I would just outright change the subject without worrying about how I looked to them for blatantly changing it. I mean, if Im trying to talk to a girl I dont want to hear a bunch of bullshit about another guy. Change the subject and she'll get the hint. Girls know whats up and putting your foot down in a tactful way in a situation like that will show dominance. Theyll comply.

Post: #12

The new girl that I just started banging pulled this on me on our last date.

She started telling me about the guy she lost her virginity to earlier this year and how big his dick was.

All I said was "did you have fun?" She said yea. I said "thats great, yolo right?"

And the look on her face was priceless.

It's a shit test. Show that you don't give fuck by not making a big deal out of it.

Anything that signals jealousy means that you don't have options and lack confidence in the face of being compared to other possibly more attractive men.

Post: #13

(10-09-2012 11:00 AM)EasyMoney Wrote:  I said "thats great, yolo right?"

Beautiful line!! This is perfect to use on younger girls.

Post: #14

That's a puzzle how to handle that subtle cock block.

If I'm one on one and the girl starts to give me friend zone style conversations I'll say "I'm not your girlfriend. If you want to talk about that talk to other girls."

But in the OP example she was talking to other girls.

Maybe confront the cockblocker by asking her pornographic questions about her fantasy man? "Sounds like you really want to suck that guys dick. But you're making me blush. I'm not used to girls talking about their sex fantasies in mixed public. You're different, aren't you?"

Post: #15

thats great,yolo right?

hahahhaa best this year.respect

Post: #16

If you take the bait and engage her ...boom you're in the friendzone.
Been there. Done that. Bought the T-shirt.

The trick is to engage her temporarily and role model the situation to her.
Tell her how it should have went down. Take the higher position.

Then obviously change the subject.

Post: #17

(10-16-2012 12:29 AM)houston Wrote:  

(10-09-2012 11:00 AM)EasyMoney Wrote:  I said "thats great, yolo right?"

Beautiful line!! This is perfect to use on younger girls.

(10-16-2012 08:12 AM)alecks Wrote:  thats great,yolo right?

hahahhaa best this year.respect

Thanks fellas. I banged that chick this past weekend for the 3rd time, it was fun

Post: #18

Good topic, I get this from some chick I have been talking to for awhile. I looked her at with a blank expression and replied "why are you telling me this?". Before that she asked me the last time I had sex? - my reply "really".

Post: #19

(10-16-2012 10:56 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  If you take the bait and engage her ...boom you're in the friendzone.
Been there. Done that. Bought the T-shirt.

The trick is to engage her temporarily and role model the situation to her.
Tell her how it should have went down. Take the higher position.

Then obviously change the subject.

What do you mean by "role model the situation to her"?
And by "her" are you referring to the original girl or the cockblocking girl?

(10-09-2012 03:13 AM)XXL Wrote:  now the key to make it work is to change these edgy threads FAST and never linger on one thread. cut thread, next thread, cut thread, next thread, etc, not giving her enough time to understand/process every single thread.

the reason that it works is that new thread is basically new emotion. it's unpredictable and overwhelming as they feel new emotion every few seconds, they're occupied with dealing with that and forget about they talked about earlier.

Interesting how psychology works. Is this what you guys mean when you talk about how you want to basically take the girl on a roller coaster of different emotions?

Post: #20

(10-16-2012 06:27 PM)chakri Wrote:  

(10-16-2012 10:56 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  If you take the bait and engage her ...boom you're in the friendzone.
Been there. Done that. Bought the T-shirt.

The trick is to engage her temporarily and role model the situation to her.
Tell her how it should have went down. Take the higher position.

Then obviously change the subject.

What do you mean by "role model the situation to her"?
And by "her" are you referring to the original girl or the cockblocking girl?

Either. Anytime a girl brings up some other dude to me it's to bitch about him. She'll tell you some story of how he was mean to her. You retell the story back to her with your perspective and how she could have handled it better. Role model. Like you're talking to your little sister.

Your situation is a little different. You have a group of girls singing the praises of some guy right in your face. You have to try and derail their conversation and get back control of the group.

Post: #21

It might be a good idea to use annoying current girl phrases when they start talking about other guys or are just being annoying.

Really???
Yolo right?


I usually look away, pull out my phone or get "distracted" when they bring up someone or get on my nerves.

Post: #22

(10-16-2012 10:56 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  If you take the bait and engage her ...boom you're in the friendzone.
Been there. Done that. Bought the T-shirt.

The trick is to engage her temporarily and role model the situation to her.
Tell her how it should have went down. Take the higher position.

Then obviously change the subject.

Bingo!
Reading this thread last month, I remember thinking how common the mention of another guy is, a total chick move in a variety of situations to undercut your position, control the conversation, and emasculate you. Don't let it happen.

So I'm at a business-y dinner with 5 chicks when they bring up some dude. They were all off limits so I really didn't care, but they had the conversation in my presence anyway, which was kind of annoying. Plus one conniving-ass chick is always trying to undermine my position as leader. Thinking about this thread (Man I love this site), I reframed it completely:

1. Treat them with COMPLETE disdain, just like you would treat your puss friend too afraid to approach.

Her: I like cute guy x
Other chicks: yeah, yeah blah blah
Me: So what did you do?
Her: What?
Me: Did you make a move or were you too scared?
Her: Well, nothing I guess, blah blah
Me: Oh come on. That's pathetic. You see something, you have to go get it
Her: blah blah girls don't blah
Other chicks: You cant' expect girls to blah blah

2. Take over, explain, be the master

Me: Let me let you ladies in on big secret. All you have to do is give him the smile
Her: What?
Me: Like this. Just enough to let him know. You're interested but not too slutty. Try it. Let me see.
Her: No
Me: Let's see it. Can you do it (other chick)?
Other Chick: This is silly...
Her: Like this?
Stupid lame smiles, giggles, smiles (make each one do it)

3. Self-aggrandize, now its about you
Me: Not bad, could use some practice blah blah. When I get that smile from a woman I like, I'm there. It's over and she's hooked for life (obviously implying I'm the man, great in bed, etc). Always amazes me why I have to do all the work just to give them exactly what they need, blah blah, I love it when women approach me like recently, blah blah ME ME ME

NOTE: If the conversation hasn't been completely swung away from the other dude to you by this point of making them do facial circus tricks, you could also go nuclear on them an explain to them disdainfully that their timidity and lack of risk taking is the reason we don't have many women, entrepreneurs, blah blah. That'll obliterate the conversation fo' sho'.

Post: #23

(10-09-2012 03:13 AM)XXL Wrote:  the reason that it works is that new thread is basically new emotion. it's unpredictable and overwhelming as they feel new emotion every few seconds, they're occupied with dealing with that and forget about they talked about earlier.

damn thats good

I'm also playing more and more with conversations that respond to the initial point, but change it and bring in a third party as well. Once the third party chimes in the conservation is changed permanently. I guess in your terms, extra emotions from another person come into play, vesting the third party in the conversation. So many self-absorbed chicks and men, for that matter, are just annoying as hell.

Post: #24

(10-08-2012 10:29 PM)chakri Wrote:  So I'm in a ballroom dance class with some girls. A lot of us head over to this bar around the corner after the class is over. So I'm there talking to a girl from my class who I felt has been giving me some signals during class for the past few sessions. She was there with another female friend but the friend was dancing with some other guys. We're sitting on stools, both angled 45 degrees toward each other, my knee is touching the side of her leg. We talk for a good 20-30 minutes, our faces are super close to each other as we talk, and she's clearly intrigued by my background and lifestyle. Building a connection by being lighthearted and witty, yet serious at times too. Basically joking around but getting to know each other too. All is well. Her friend comes back but she's totally cool about the situation, dutifully just standing off to the side like a good friend should and letting us converse.

Later though, another female friend of theirs comes and joins the conversation, leading the initial friend to come over too. Now there's the three of them and me. The newest girl mentions some new guy in their university, who's supposedly really good-looking but none of them have met him yet. This went on for a good five minutes. I tried to just let the two friends talk to each other and try to talk to my original girl again, and she was pretty receptive, but the newest girl just wouldn't leave and continued to talk about the dude.

I was trying to think of a way to reframe the image of the guy into that of a beta somehow, but my mind was drawing a blank. I didn't want to make an insulting comment about him, as I didn't know him. And even if I did, that's not how I like to operate because that would just show insecurity.

At the same time, I wasn't about to continue sitting there like a chump. I had made a connection, evidenced by the fact that I was making physical contact with the girl's arms, hands, and legs when we talked, she clearly was into me, and so I didn't feel like I would be bolting too early (before a connection could be made). Since I couldn't come up with anything to say to reframe the talk about the other guy, I decided to leave. I probably should have gotten her number somewhere before all that, but at that point, I decided to just leave instead of getting her number with all her friends there and then bolting immediately after (one of our members commented on this in a thread, but I prefer getting the digits somewhere in the middle and not the very end).

How would you guys have handled this situation? (Either the reframing the convo part, getting the contact info part, or anything)

Should have told them all the talk about hot guys was making your nipples hard and you needed to go to the bathroom to cool off.

Post: #25

Everything's been covered in the replies on how to reframe the conversation or physically move her to the bar to get drinks.

What I'll add is that you should have gotten off your chair and stood up (tall, imposing, even more of a stallion as the guy she's talking about) , begin to look interested and then almost painfully bored. If you can't think of anything to say, you don't HAVE to. You look at the girl you like and in a big dramatic way roll your eyes like "oh boy, here we go, dumb girls talking" and then you look her in the eyes and say "I've got to get out of here, let's catch up sometime" while you whip out your phone. Then you just look at her as if she knows what to do. Get the number, maintain eye contact "I'll be in touch. wink" Then walk in slow motion out the door without saying a word to her idiot friends.