Post: #1

this question is newb as fuck but I haven't been in this situation in years and am looking for guidance.

I met a girl (well, an early 40s cougar) at a friend's kid's birthday party awhile back. she was hot so I started a conversation, she had a kid with her but I couldn't tell if she was married so I didn't push it.

now 6 months later, this woman asked our mutual friend about me, hinting that she is looking for action. I am planning to get her number from my friend and call/text her saying something like "our friend said she thought we would get along, and I remember thinking you were strangely interesting at the party", something like that.

it's an odd situation because although she initiated it indirectly, I have to act as if I am really the one initiating so as to lead and not to make her feel weird about it. I'm looking for the smoothest way to get from the awkward initial communication to the first date.

any suggestions about techniques and/or general tone?

Post: #2

Play it cool, a text "whatsup" to start things off with.

Post: #3

(09-30-2012 08:43 PM)HiFlo Wrote:  Play it cool, a text "whatsup" to start things off with.

No, don't do this.

Don't worry about "leading" either right now. She initiated by talking about you to your mutual friend. That ship has sailed. It's not a very important one either.

I would talk to the mutual friend and nonchalantly tell said friend to pass along your number to the girl in question. She asked about you. She wants your number.

Don't worry about leading at the moment, she's already been thinking about you. Just pass off the digits and keep on keepin' on. If she doesn't contact you- nothing was going to come of it anyway.

Post: #4

(09-30-2012 07:57 PM)plague Wrote:  it's an odd situation because although she initiated it indirectly, I have to act as if I am really the one initiating so as to lead and not to make her feel weird about it. I'm looking for the smoothest way to get from the awkward initial communication to the first date.

I have been perplexed by this situation as well.

I think you identified the problem precisely. I have plenty of experience with women this age and even though they deservedly have a reputation for being more sexually aggressive than younger women, they still want the man to lead and you still have to avoid triggering their anti-slut defense.

The best solution would be to have the mutual friend invite you both somewhere like a party, an event or gathering of friends at a bar after work. Then you could just go over to her and say hello naturally.

If that can't be arranged then a text something along the lines of what you've suggested is probably the best approach.

Post: #5

(09-30-2012 09:57 PM)MrXY Wrote:  The best solution would be to have the mutual friend invite you both somewhere like a party, an event or gathering of friends at a bar after work. Then you could just go over to her and say hello naturally.

yeah thats better.

Post: #6

thanks guys. unfortunately our mutual friend (a good female friend who I have known for years) doesn't want to be involved at all. when originally telling me this she said "I'm just passing the information along, keep me out of it". I think she's a little concerned that I may pump and dump this girl.

so I'll most likely have to initiate myself. this will be interesting.