Post: #26

Edit:

Actually, you can hide cash in all sorts of places. I have various amounts dotted about in various places around my house.

Post: #27

Here's what you need to do to answer your question fully.

Do backwards planning.

Where do you want to end up?

Cuba? DR? Yugoslavia? That's your end point.

Now start asking, "How would I get there?"

List each step in reverse order/backwards.

Where you end up is going to determine where you start hiding your money.

This is complicated shit, though. There are people who earn a living doing this stuff.

That's why the amount of money determines what to do.

If it's five figures, you need to be liquid. You can always pawn a Rolex for quick cash.

So put some Roleys into safety boxes.

You can pawn silver. Or sell it off Craigslist (more profit) in less than 48 hours.

Take your quick cash, hop on your boat, and go to Cuba.

If it's six figures, then you start paying people who do this stuff for a living.

Post: #28

I would like actual money I can get asap and not have to pawn watches or sell shit. I would invest in Vintage race cars (no titles, reg) if they didn't take so long to sell and they're insurable. I'm not keeping anything at or around my house because stupid shit happens there too much. So I want to save but also use the money when good deals come around to buy and sell then put the money back.

Post: #29

(09-17-2012 02:38 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(09-17-2012 02:30 PM)Moma Wrote:  Give it to me when I visit you and I'll take it to Nigeria. I'll buy a house in your name for it. You can come and point out the plot of your choice.

How much ass will I get there and how much is a house?

A house is about 20K, solid. You will get a lot of ass cos you are fair skinned.

It's going to be black lizards all the way though. If you want latinas, you will have to import them.
I can help you with the tariffs.

Post: #30

(09-17-2012 03:06 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  I would like actual money I can get asap and not have to pawn watches or sell shit. I would invest in Vintage race cars (no titles, reg) if they didn't take so long to sell and they're insurable. I'm not keeping anything at or around my house because stupid shit happens there too much. So I want to save but also use the money when good deals come around to buy and sell then put the money back.

OK. I thought your question was a, "I need money stashed away in case I need to jump bail." If you want to hide money against lawsuits or to run from the government, again, that's an entirely different question.

Your question is easy to answer.

AmEx traveler's checks. Keep them in your safe. Hide them wherever. Photocopy them or take pics with your iPhone.

Upload the copies to an Internet server. You are an iPhone fan boy, so just use iCloud.

If you lose the checks or they are stolen, you have the info you need to get them reissued.

You can take them to any bank to get cash on the spot.

So you are highly liquid while also protected against theft.

You also aren't worried about whether silver rises or falls.

Post: #31

There is no one place you should hide all of your dough. You need to always be diversified. Keep your shit in multiple off the grid spots plus a regular bank acct to show your "official" net worth. Keep a couple grand in there for legit purposes and stash the rest.

Post: #32

This is the worst advice EVAR!! Don't listen to them Emech. Now here's what you do.

Bring all your money down here and give it to me. I'll invest it in bishes, booze, and weed. I've always gotten good returns on these. The 3 commodities that are in the highest demand. Can't go wrong.

Post: #33

(09-17-2012 03:33 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  OK. I thought your question was a, "I need money stashed away in case I need to jump bail." If you want to hide money against lawsuits or to run from the government, again, that's an entirely different question.

Your question is easy to answer.

AmEx traveler's checks. Keep them in your safe. Hide them wherever. Photocopy them or take pics with your iPhone.

Upload the copies to an Internet server. You are an iPhone fan boy, so just use iCloud.

If you lose the checks or they are stolen, you have the info you need to get them reissued.

You can take them to any bank to get cash on the spot.

So you are highly liquid while also protected against theft.

You also aren't worried about whether silver rises or falls.

Mike, can't the Feds search your internet properties if they are looking for your shyt?

Post: #34

(09-17-2012 04:23 PM)Moma Wrote:  Mike, can't the Feds search your internet properties if they are looking for your shyt?

Yes.

That's my point.

If the Feds want to find it, it can be found.

There is a cottage industry of people telling average guys they can stash money. That's true...to a degree.

Can you hide money from your wife? Yes. But if it's a lot, she will get a court order and sick a forensic accountant on your ass.

Can you hide money from a lawsuit? Yes. But again it can be found.

The odds of something being found depend on the stakes.

Can it be touched once it's found? Not always. There are some trusts that are basically lawsuit proof.

If you just want to stash $10,000-$25,000, that is easy. Do what I said earlier.

If you want to stash more...then there are people you will pay $50,000 to do hide your shit, set up foreign accounts, set up blind trusts and shell corporations.

Post: #35

(09-17-2012 03:33 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

(09-17-2012 03:06 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  I would like actual money I can get asap and not have to pawn watches or sell shit. I would invest in Vintage race cars (no titles, reg) if they didn't take so long to sell and they're insurable. I'm not keeping anything at or around my house because stupid shit happens there too much. So I want to save but also use the money when good deals come around to buy and sell then put the money back.

OK. I thought your question was a, "I need money stashed away in case I need to jump bail." If you want to hide money against lawsuits or to run from the government, again, that's an entirely different question.

Your question is easy to answer.

AmEx traveler's checks. Keep them in your safe. Hide them wherever. Photocopy them or take pics with your iPhone.

Upload the copies to an Internet server. You are an iPhone fan boy, so just use iCloud.

If you lose the checks or they are stolen, you have the info you need to get them reissued.

You can take them to any bank to get cash on the spot.

So you are highly liquid while also protected against theft.

You also aren't worried about whether silver rises or falls.

This seems like a great idea.

Post: #36

If you are flush with cash, then it doesn't hurt to add some metals but if you want to preserve cash then don't buy precious metals.

I would be careful about doing business in secret with overseas banks because as long as this shitty economy continues, the U.S. will keep putting pressure on foreign banks to divulge these types of relationships with U.S. citizens. The gov't has made hundreds of millions over the past few years just in back taxes and penalties from those who were hiding in the swiss banking system.

If you're serious about all this, I recommend first establishing a limited liability corporation and then finding a reputable bank in another country (say, DR) and purchasing a safe deposit box in the name of the LLC. The LLC is simply to help preserve your anonymity.

Most banks will require you have an account with them before they allow you to rent a box, so open an account and keep the balance under $10k. With a balance under $10k, U.S. law does not require you to report the account to the IRS.

Even if someone in the U.S. found out about the account, you're not doing anything illegal because you're not required to declare the account to the IRS because of the <$10k balance. In this case, you can bank openly and legally in the name of your LLC and store your money/metals/valuables in the safe deposit box. The real benefit for you is the safe deposit box.

Everything above is legal and will keep you out of trouble but you have to be discreet. Bank under the name of your LLC and don't tell ANYONE about the account or the box...that's the key to maintaining privacy.

The hard part is finding a reputable bank that will take such a small deposit to open an account from a foreigner/foreign LLC. But if you increase the size of your deposit and show up with cash in hand to a bank in somewhere like the Caribbean, I think you'll find something.

Post: #37

Banking is based, ultimately, on trust.

Any bank that would tell the U.S. government to fuck off will tell you the same thing when you try collecting.

Unless you're a big baller. There are trillions in Swiss bank accounts. You don't exactly tell a Russia oligarch to fuck off - at least if you don't want a video of your loved ones being raped sent to you.

Average guys who just want to have some cash should have a balanced portfolio of easily pawnable (and carryable items) like Rolex, some precious metals, some traveler's checks, and some cash.

Go to your stash site. Put the rolex on your wrist. Grab your cash and checks and make a get-a-away.

Another advantage of a Rolex.

Let's say the police have stopped by your home but you haven't been charged with a crime. You can legally leave until you've been arrested and a judge says otherwise.

Carrying $10,000 in cash might get you spooted. In fact, you legally have to declare $10,000 in cash or traveller's checks. If you get caught with more than $10,000, your money gets taken.

But people regularly travel with $10,000+ on their wrists.

So you leave the country with the "shirt on your back" and a few grand in cash. Right through the airport with enough of a "slush fund" to plan your next move.

Post: #38

This is complicated shit and I'm seeing a bunch of outdated shit.

Laws change regularly.


The PATRIOT Act requires a bank to have you give them your real name if you want a box.

That $10,000 stuff is a myth. Look up Know Your Customer.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Know_your_customer

Spitzer got popped because he smurfed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Structuring

Post: #39

(09-17-2012 05:15 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  This is complicated shit and I'm seeing a bunch of outdated shit.

Laws change regularly.


The PATRIOT Act requires a bank to have you give them your real name if you want a box.

That $10,000 stuff is a myth. Look up Know Your Customer.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Know_your_customer

Spitzer got popped because he smurfed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Structuring

PATRIOT Act has no authority over a foreign bank.

$10,000 is U.S. law.
http://www.irs.gov/Businesses/Small-Busi...%28FBAR%29

United States persons are required to file an FBAR if:

The United States person had a financial interest in or signature authority over at least one financial account located outside of the United States; and
The aggregate value of all foreign financial accounts exceeded $10,000 at any time during the calendar year to be reported.

Post: #40

Smurfing means you're deliberating staying under the $10,000 reporting requirement in order to avoid the requirement. So saying that 10K is the limit doesn't matter.

Federal criminal law is complicated and easy to violate.

Post: #41

(09-17-2012 05:57 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  Smurfing means you're deliberating staying under the $10,000 reporting requirement in order to avoid the requirement. So saying that 10K is the limit doesn't matter.

Smurfing is breaking up large transactions into many smaller ones to avoid drawing attention by officials...or to fly under the radar. Once you gather the source and destination of these funds, it becomes like one big process map and then it's not difficult to prove criminal activity, or intent (a la Elliot Spitzer).

But, opening a foreign bank account and keeping the balance under $10k is perfectly legal. There's no feasible way to "smurf" accounts in foreign bank accounts because the IRS requires you to document the account(s) if TOTAL funds equal or exceed $10,000. So you could have 100 accounts with $100 each and you would be required to report with the IRS because the total of the accounts is $10k.

Now, you could open the accounts and just never report them, but global banks are working together and sharing data on accounts more than ever before.

That's why I recommend keeping a legit account with a foreign bank and a safe deposit box. One is not required to report the contents of the safe deposit box, just the assets (i.e. dollar value) of the actual bank account.

[quote]

Post: #42

(09-17-2012 06:49 PM)Smitty Wrote:  [quote='MikeCF' pid='270440' dateline='1347922652']
Smurfing means you're deliberating staying under the $10,000 reporting requirement in order to avoid the requirement. So saying that 10K is the limit doesn't matter.

Smurfing is breaking up large transactions into many smaller ones to avoid drawing attention by officials...or to fly under the radar. Once you gather the source and destination of these funds, it becomes like one big process map and then it's not difficult to prove criminal activity, or intent (a la Elliot Spitzer).

But, opening a foreign bank account and keeping the balance under $10k is perfectly legal. There's no feasible way to "smurf" accounts in foreign bank accounts because the IRS requires you to document the account(s) if TOTAL funds equal or exceed $10,000. So you could have 100 accounts with $100 each and you would be required to report with the IRS because the total of the accounts is $10k.

Now, you could open the accounts and just never report them, but global banks are working together and sharing data on accounts more than ever before.

That's why I recommend keeping a legit account with a foreign bank and a safe deposit box. One is not required to report the contents of the safe deposit box, just the assets (i.e. dollar value) of the actual bank account.

Quote:

That sounds ok. Which place would be best from Florida? I can travel with 9k a shot no problem and leave it there?

When do they actually come for your money? Let's say I fuck some shit up and get sued. Could the attorneys find it? Would they try? I know plenty of lawyers here. They sue when there's something to take. Doesn't it make sense to seem broke here?

Post: #43

You could invest it into Bitcoins. Silk road also has a dealer (so I heard from someone who isn't me) that will take your Bitcoins and shoot them around the world a couple times, before depositing the money into various private bank accounts only accessible to you.

Post: #44

(09-17-2012 11:15 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  How about Costa Rica? Not really related but this guy was just in my office an ex Olympic gold medalist who lost everything in his divorce even assets in Greece from before he got married. Court ordered from here. WTF?

After living in CR I wouldn't recomend leaving to much in their banks. A friend had about 200,000 "misplaced" for a about 6 weeks. They found it but he is now living in the Philipines. Many people are choosing Panama as their off shore bank right now, however they expropriated alot of money in the 80's. Keep it in cash in 5 gallon home depot barrels if you are that worried. Just remember where you buried it.

Post: #45

If you plan on keeping cash in a safety deposit box, bear in mind that you have no way to hedge against sudden devaluation of the currency. Dollar drops? Inflation goes nuts? Sucks bro.

Also, your cash will not be protected in case of fire/flood/etc.

Post: #46

(09-17-2012 07:19 PM)polymath Wrote:  If you plan on keeping cash in a safety deposit box, bear in mind that you have no way to hedge against sudden devaluation of the currency. Dollar drops? Inflation goes nuts? Sucks bro.

Also, your cash will not be protected in case of fire/flood/etc.

Just having your money in a savings account is not safe anymore either. How people are not completely pissed off at the bailouts amazes me. The government is basically stealing your money by devaluing it with even more unnecessary inflation.

Post: #47

I thought you had a couple million in New Iraqi Dinars? Just move to Iraq and start banging some Burqa Bitches

Post: #48

Check out Bankers Trust in Sosua,DR. They have safety deposit boxes.

Post: #49

Sometimes I cant tell if el mechanico starts topics like this for attention or something else. Whatever.

Planet Money just did a great podcast on opening an offshore account which covers everything you need to know
http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2012/07/2...re-company

Post: #50

(09-17-2012 07:04 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  When do they actually come for your money? Let's say I fuck some shit up and get sued. Could the attorneys find it? Would they try? I know plenty of lawyers here. They sue when there's something to take. Doesn't it make sense to seem broke here?

Even when you win a lawsuit, you have to collect. That's sometimes as hard as the lawsuit itself.

Unless you have insurance or are obviously wealthy, no lawyer worth a shit is going to sue you.