Post: #1

Ok so I've been hitting okc online and have had good success. I have a common situation that I ponder every time it comes up.

The girl lives 20-30 minutes away. She suggests (without me asking) meeting halfway. The problem is where I live the only places between me and her is Compton and bad areas. Also I want to bounce to her or my place which halfway wouldn't accommodate.

Thus do I sacrifice and drive to her side of town, or does this make me look desperate that I would drive all the way to her without meeting her first?

Other option would be her driving to me which I'm sure she would decline, or meeting halfway and wear my bulletproof vest?

In the past I have just sacrificed, and drove to them and had moderate success. Is there a good response to say if she asks why you are willing to drive all the way? I have said "visiting a friend earlier in the day on her side of town" or "running an errand on that side of town anyway" but it never seems believable. Should i say i will visit first time and suggest next time she visits my side of town?

Just comparing notes...

Post: #2

Does she live by herself?? With roommates??

If so, drive all the way to her. If you meet halfway, you're logistics are bad for ending up at either place. And if she won't drive to you, It'd be better to drive all the way to her. Then you can maneuver your way to her place (use Roosh's bathroom line at the end of the night), or just figure out any way to end up at her place.

Don't risk being in a bad area just to avoid looking desperate by driving to her. If you're worried about looking desperate, text her something like

"Hey, I'm gonna be in (her area) tomorrow night visiting a friend, let's grab a drink while I'm there"

Post: #3

I don't know her full story cause it's a first date and keep my texts purely logistical. Once i meet her i will find out her living situation. I am in agreement that driving to her is best. I've done it in the past and normally they don't really question me. This chick suggested meeting halfway so if I suggest to go out by her it will more than likely be a non-issue. Just dont want her thinking im caving because she requested not driving too far. Although she did offer meeting halfway with her driving as well so maybe she's the least bit considerate. I've always found meeting near them to reduce flaking as well.

I've already setup the date/time just have to pick the venue...

Post: #4

Get familiar with the places these girls live... i.e., if they live in a nearby moderate city, make sure you know a handful of bars, parks, parking lots, etc. You'll be more comfortable in venue changing, and, since you're already near her, closing at her place is possible.

Post: #5

I've never had a girl say that. I always tell them to stop by so we can take one car. I probably wouldnt even bother with a girl who wasnt willing to come kut my way.

Post: #6

(09-22-2012 01:32 AM)houston Wrote:  I've never had a girl say that. I always tell them to stop by so we can take one car. I probably wouldnt even bother with a girl who wasnt willing to come kut my way.

How close do the girls live to you houston? These girls are all 20-30 minutes away... They're online so they've never met me, and with tons of offers, why are they going to drive 30 minutes when another guy is 5 min away? On the second date I don't have any problems with them coming to me cause they've already met me and know i'm solid... I have a perfect record so far with them coming to me on date 2. But there's only so much you can convey online and through text or phone for the first date..

Plus the biggest thing with online is the girls just get freaked out so easily. So coming to a guys place in the first meeting is highly fishy to them.. I've only had one girl do it so far (she said she wanted to come over) and it suprised the hell out of me.. Every other girl, the minute I tell them to come to my place get's distant.. I can try to just play the numbers but if you get 4 numbers a week, and only 1 out of 4 is willing to drive to you thats only 1 date a week. I need more than that.

Post: #7

I deal with this issue constantly because my area is small and medium sized cities and small towns spread out over a distance of about 200 miles.

I never bring online girls back to my place, so my plan is always to drive to them and bang them at their place. I commonly drive 45 minutes to meet a girl and sometimes 1 1/2 hours.

So I can tell you with some authority- this should not be a major concern to you-especially if you're only driving 20-30 minutes. About half the girls bring the issue up during the date logistics discussion.I dismiss the issue immediately- I simply say that it's no big deal because I drive a lot for my job or that I am in her area often anyway-(both of which are somewhat true in my case but you can always just lie). This has always seemed to satisfy them and I never felt they held it against me. I have had plenty of success with bangs on the first or second date with girls i drove quite a distance to see and they knew it.

As you say, the concern is that you will seem needy or desperate by driving to her. I think what really matters is how you come across in person. If you meet her around the corner from your place but seem needy or desperate to her, you will not create attraction.But, if you drive an hour to her town, and act confident, dominant and aloof, she is not going to see you as desperate merely because of the distance you drove.

As you have experienced getting girls to come to you is far more difficult than going to them. I would just go to them and not worry about it

Post: #8

(09-22-2012 04:53 PM)MrXY Wrote:  I deal with this issue constantly because my area is small and medium sized cities and small towns spread out over a distance of about 200 miles.

I never bring online girls back to my place, so my plan is always to drive to them and bang them at their place. I commonly drive 45 minutes to meet a girl and sometimes 1 1/2 hours.

So I can tell you with some authority- this should not be a major concern to you-especially if you're only driving 20-30 minutes. About half the girls bring the issue up during the date logistics discussion.I dismiss the issue immediately- I simply say that it's no big deal because I drive a lot for my job or that I am in her area often anyway-(both of which are somewhat true in my case but you can always just lie). This has always seemed to satisfy them and I never felt they held it against me. I have had plenty of success with bangs on the first or second date with girls i drove quite a distance to see and they knew it.

As you say, the concern is that you will seem needy or desperate by driving to her. I think what really matters is how you come across in person. If you meet her around the corner from your place but seem needy or desperate to her, you will not create attraction.But, if you drive an hour to her town, and act confident, dominant and aloof, she is not going to see you as desperate merely because of the distance you drove.

As you have experienced getting girls to come to you is far more difficult than going to them. I would just go to them and not worry about it

Thanks for the real-life experience response MrXY... I can tell you're in the same situation as me because what you're saying matches my real life experience.. I've had girls come to me, but its rare and I like to play the odds and it probably doubles you're opportunities by putting in the initial effort first. I'm not gonna game a girl online back and forth for a few days and invest all that time and then have her flake because i'm too lazy to drive 20 minutes. It's a flake reduction move, just make sure you feel confident she will show.

I gotta say i've been experiencing the same overall though. I also usually go to them first because I don't want to even worry about them being not in the mood to drive. This is just initially however. Only because girls never get that interested until they meet you in person. Online game is purely just putting in the effort to get her to meet you. They have so much online interest they know they don't have to do anything to meet guys, you have to feed them some grapes just initially to get your foot in the door so you can meet them in person...Then its on and you can build some attraction...

The only thing i gotta work on is closing at their place. Most the girls live at home or don't have a solid place. It makes closing pretty damn hard.. So far i've just been on the second date schedule where they come to my place on date 2 to finish.. You got any tips on your move to get to their place on date 1? That is if they have a place.. I've seen some suggestions on this on the forum but none that i like so far.. Drink number 3 at her place? Check out her rock collection? Whats your logistical move to get over there? Kissing mid date and escalation is no problem just really don't have a go to for the transition to her place..

Post: #9

On OKC, there are ways to pick up on if she has her own place or not.

1. Age... by default, assume <25 years old lives with parents
2. Job. Does she have a lame retail job? Or is she a teacher/professional and can afford an apartment?

Finding a girl with her own place within walking distance of a bar is worth 10 girls who live with their parents.

Post: #10

(09-22-2012 10:35 AM)smashley Wrote:  

(09-22-2012 01:32 AM)houston Wrote:  I've never had a girl say that. I always tell them to stop by so we can take one car. I probably wouldnt even bother with a girl who wasnt willing to come kut my way.

How close do the girls live to you houston? These girls are all 20-30 minutes away... They're online so they've never met me, and with tons of offers, why are they going to drive 30 minutes when another guy is 5 min away? On the second date I don't have any problems with them coming to me cause they've already met me and know i'm solid... I have a perfect record so far with them coming to me on date 2. But there's only so much you can convey online and through text or phone for the first date..

Plus the biggest thing with online is the girls just get freaked out so easily. So coming to a guys place in the first meeting is highly fishy to them.. I've only had one girl do it so far (she said she wanted to come over) and it suprised the hell out of me.. Every other girl, the minute I tell them to come to my place get's distant.. I can try to just play the numbers but if you get 4 numbers a week, and only 1 out of 4 is willing to drive to you thats only 1 date a week. I need more than that.

The farthest ones I've messed with were about 45 minutes away. Sometimes I'll pick them up and bring her closer to my side of town if they don't drive. My online hoes are younger or older, washed up hags. They don't really have a million options like girls in their mid 20's so it's easier to get them over. Maybe you should target younger girls?