Post: #1

I'm going to a speed dating event next week. One of the organisers is my buddy and he gave me a free invite, so I'm not losing anything.

Age Range: 30 - 45
Normal speed dating process: 8 minutes with each woman and the man then shifts to the next one.

How should I approach this? Obviously we all know that speed dating is rigged to essentially favour women, but are there certain tactics or strategies which can work?

Your thoughts gentlemen.

Post: #2

I did that a few times ages ago when it first started gaining popularity. Might be interesting to try it now just for the hell of it. Just know that each woman is going to start off asking you almost the same exact questions. The first is almost always going to be "what do you do?" In fact just listening to all the "dates" happening around you, they all sound like job interviews. "So what do you do? Where do you live? Where are you from? Blah blah...." If you can come up with a way to divert some of these banal questions into something spontaneous and interesting you may fare well. My main tip, is don't let her ask the questions. Start talking before she does. Have some readymade ice-breakers that will throw her off balance, and then start asking questions that evaluate her. Because like you said, this is all rigged to favor women in letting them stay seated while the men have to walk around to each table like they are the ones being interviewed. So take control of the conversation the second you sit down and don't let her even get the first question out before you start talking qualifying *her*.

It may have somewhat of an advantage to online dating. The pros:

1) You are face to face, so no using selectively cropped/lighted photos from women. What you see is what you get.
2) The ratio is forced to be 1:1.
3) Every guy gets at least a chance, she can't ignore you.
4) You have a chance to let your personality and game shine and you aren't just a collection of stats that she can filter out on a website.
5) The women signing up are making a serious effort to meet someone by the very fact that they are there. Should be way less chance of a flake if she likes you.
6) If you are in a slump or have approach anxiety, this can break you out of the shell and actually force you to interact with women and practice your game.

The Cons:
1) Don't expect many girls above a 6. Most will be 5s.
2) Can get boring answering the same questions over and over. I once went to one where there were like 20 girls and 20 guys. I almost felt exhausted after.
3) You don't get the wide variety of choice like you would hunting down women of your own. You can only take what's presented to you and hope she selects you as well.
4) They only make the guys rotate seats, which forces the guys into the beta position as if she is the one doing the evaluating.

Post: #3

I've never done speed dating, although I would love to just for the fun of acting like a total ass and watching their reactions

Which would be more likely to get me laid than acting like a chump and answering her lame interview questions

I agree with Speakeasy, you need to take charge and qualify her. Use some outrageous questions. When she asks you questions, give smartass answers. Use strong cocky body language. Smirk a lot. Make it clear you are not taking any of this seriously.

For more suggestions see Heartiste's post on the topic here: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2008/05/2...ing-sucks/

Let us know what happened

Post: #4

(08-30-2012 03:54 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  It may have somewhat of an advantage to online dating. The pros:

3) Every guy gets at least a chance, she can't ignore you.

Having gone to one of these events I agree with all the cons and most of the pros except the one above. Sure every guy gets a chance to sit and talk, but she most certainly can ignore you. Feigned interest, or a complete lack of. Her answers will be short, and she won't ask you any. You're basically just sitting there waiting for the coordinator to call time and switch.

That happened 4 out of 10 "dates" at the event I went to. The looks on those chicks faces when I sat down told me everything. Sucks to be me I guess. While I wasn't taking that shit seriously I see where I fucked up. If they asked questions I answered them honestly. Bad body language, as the venue used seating without any back support (ie ottomans) so I couldn't sit comfortably. I forgot my list of off the wall questions. Silly shit like are you good at parallel parking, etc... So I defaulted to the interview questions. Snooze fest.

Do the complete opposite of what I did and you should be good.. but as a general rule.. I'd avoid speed dating.

Post: #5

Been there, done that!

Women were sub par 4-5 range, guys were in 7-8 range. Many women came back for the second( and third and forth time) because they liked attention so much. Also, as I found out later they didn't pay anything and were invited to balance out men who paid.
There were one very good looking girl and a guy who could have beem a model. They were baits as I found out later. The coordinator found a girl in the gym and convinced her to come. Same as the guy.
The whole thing is a complete scam. Imagine what kind of a woman would have no choice and was not even successful at online dating.? A woman will try online dating first before this.

Post: #6

DON'T think of it as a legitimate venue. There are so many things wrong with it from that perspective that it's pointless. Think of it as rapid practice; you're going to have 10-20 openers, 10-20 rambles, 10-20 chances to make a first impression. If you're already comfortable doing these things, there's probably no point. I think it's a half-decent way for shy/anxious people to try things, but once you're past that it's not a great option.

Post: #7

Quote:Been there, done that!

Women were sub par 4-5 range, guys were in 7-8 range. Many women came back for the second( and third and forth time) because they liked attention so much. Also, as I found out later they didn't pay anything and were invited to balance out men who paid.
There were one very good looking girl and a guy who could have beem a model. They were baits as I found out later. The coordinator found a girl in the gym and convinced her to come. Same as the guy.
The whole thing is a complete scam. Imagine what kind of a woman would have no choice and was not even successful at online dating.? A woman will try online dating first before this.

Years back a buddies girlfriend was organizing these events and asked us to come a long to fill seats, as in my city there were more women interested in speed dating then men. She was always having trouble filling her male quota (10men & 10 women).

I guess this was not a total scam, but in a way it was. My buddy had to act his way through the night, which might have been harder then he though when the best looking girl at the event was obviously into him.

We had fun, drank our free drinks and chatted with girls all night. Not playing into the interview theme is where its at. Loosen it up and enjoy the experience.

Post: #8

If it's seated, all the guys will sit and face them, often with a barrier in the middle. Break the trend and sit next to the lizard, but with relaxed, distant body language.

Post: #9

Report back on the quality of the women. I am guessing many will be divorced with children who are not quite 18 yet. < Looking for some sucker to support their children through college etc.