Post: #1

Great post at Heartiste:

"Perhaps one way to conceptualise why women don’t like emotional/sensitive guys would be to consider this.

Men value women for their sexual intimacy, while women value men for the emotional intimacy.

Now men don’t want a relationship with a woman who is promiscuous with her sexual intimacy as it either indicates she has low value, or potential for cuckoldry.

Perhaps women don’t want relationships with emotional/sensitive guys as these men are promiscuous with their emotional intimacy. And their emotional promiscuity indicates they are either low value or have a potential for abandonment.

So a niceguy is to women, what a slut is to a man.

Now, when you here feminist therapists telling men they they should be more sensitive and get in touch with their feminine side and what not, those therapists are no different from some old sleazy lecher trying to convince women that it’s in their best interest to sleep around and experiment with their sexuality in the hopes that the woman will sleep with them.

Basically, telling men to be more sensitive is a ploy to make it easier for women to use men, just as telling women to be more sexually open would be a ploy to make it easier for men to use women."

It got me thinking that the game/war between men and women might just be one big miscommunication. By understanding it a as semantic dissonance, maybe we can remove a lot of resentment from the game. This might help guys to not take rejection personally, or harbor anger towards girls who reject their bad game.

This is important if we actually do want to get to a place where we are in more in control of our emotional intimacy. So, it could be helpful to build on this and seek out other equivalences:

Here's one:

Girls usually smile when they are nervous, not when they are happy. But when they experience pleasure there is a look of pain- like when that look they get when you are fucking them really hard.

It's kind of like the girl speak/action translation:

Girl talking about other men in front of you = "I don't see you as a potential lover"

Post: #2

Girl talking about other men in front of you = "I'm an attention whore".

I get where you're coming from though, and it's an interesting thought.

Even if a girl was a complete whore who's had 100 dicks in her, you would never know it if she held herself with poise and maturity (and you never found out, obviously). A truly intelligent woman would understand that men value some degree of restraint and chastity. She would understand what traits that type of woman would have and try to manifest those traits. Not to be a goody-two-shoes, but not conduct herself like a total slag, which is all too apparent in bars these days.

In that same line of thinking, we men should also be, as the OP says, in control of our emotional intimacy. For me what that means is the classic demeanor prescribed while gaming: Be teasing, be fun, be in control, show restraint, cultivate mystery, keep it light. These are all traits that clearly exhibit control over ones emotions. You give away very little, increasing the value of the emotions. It seems like American women are increasingly sensitive to this, so that you can date a woman for MONTHS, and yet at the first revealing of your emotions she can still get "creeped out" about things getting so "serious".

Post: #3

Women like sensitive men because they can control them easier.Men with thick skin who do whatever they want(pig style) can be effective sometimes but they also fall in trap when the woman detects their weaknesses.Sensitive men have an edge in many cases.Basically if you are sensitive you understand exactly what women mean by their subtle messages and react accordingly.So you appear tactful and women are not afraid to fuck.(of course they shit test both sensitive men on effectiveness and thick skinned men on tact).

Post: #4

(08-24-2012 01:32 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  Girl talking about other men in front of you = "I'm an attention whore".

I get where you're coming from though, and it's an interesting thought.

Even if a girl was a complete whore who's had 100 dicks in her, you would never know it if she held herself with poise and maturity (and you never found out, obviously). A truly intelligent woman would understand that men value some degree of restraint and chastity. She would understand what traits that type of woman would have and try to manifest those traits. Not to be a goody-two-shoes, but not conduct herself like a total slag, which is all too apparent in bars these days.

In that same line of thinking, we men should also be, as the OP says, in control of our emotional intimacy. For me what that means is the classic demeanor prescribed while gaming: Be teasing, be fun, be in control, show restraint, cultivate mystery, keep it light. These are all traits that clearly exhibit control over ones emotions. You give away very little, increasing the value of the emotions. It seems like American women are increasingly sensitive to this, so that you can date a woman for MONTHS, and yet at the first revealing of your emotions she can still get "creeped out" about things getting so "serious".

I like this- it's kind of like "emotion etiquette while gaming." Keep it formal.

Post: #5

It's fine to have high affect, as long as you also have high expectations and high boundaries. If you are always winning at the game of hand, you don't lose by showing interest and affection.

Affection and interest are only a sign of weakness if you are generally unbalanced and weak. Correctly supported, sensitivity is a strength.

Now, you'll rarely find a sensitive man with strong boundaries who is an expert at maintaining hand. Such men have a great advantage over men who can only play it either aloof, or only play it sensitive.

The guy who can rock her world emotionally and also tell her to shut the fuck up wins.

Post: #6

This sounds good.

Post: #7

Maybe the first part of game is just learning the language of girls.

That in itself probably puts you ahead of most guys. But, there are probably other things that aren't intellectual that are going on.

I'd be curious to hear if advice like "imitate Hank Moody" works for anyone. I think you can learn a lot by copying.

Post: #8

When you try to translate from the language of women you get lost in translation.It is so much shit it is not even funny.Better to stay in the logical world of men otherwise you risk losing your mental balance.

Post: #9

(08-27-2012 02:10 AM)Greek kamaki Wrote:  When you try to translate from the language of women you get lost in translation.It is so much shit it is not even funny.Better to stay in the logical world of men otherwise you risk losing your mental balance.

What do you mean by the logical world of men? Most guys don't know the first thing about handling women.

Post: #10

I mean that men think logically(even when their dick undertakes the action).Men think in linear tunnel mode hunting action.I will go there,do this,bring her home.Then they take it apart into pieces to comprehend it.How to meet her?Where should I go?What should I tell her to open her?Rapport,attraction creating,escalation,logistics etc.Men want everything to be set in plan.

Women on the other hand completely confuse opening with rapport,escalation,they do not care about logistics(it just happened etc).There is no linear mode or pieces in logical order.So the same process of pick up would be described totally different by a woman and a guy.Imagine trying to translate from woman's language to men's language what really happened.Half of woman's descriptions will be about her emotions.Most of guy's descriptions will be about his actions.So you have to guess the woman's actions by her emotions' descriptions.

Sometimes I tried to see the world though the eyes of women.I imagined I am a woman and walked down the street.What I saw surprised me.The whole perception became different.Some differences I noticed:
-Men see only women and groups,women see pairs.Even if a guy does not have a pair you start imagining his pair.Or you search for it.
-Men see very few colors we basically see grey,black,white and red,blue.(I mean what we notice).Women see an abudance of colors.Colors everywhere.
-Regarding shops men think of a shop as a place where some things are brought in to be consumed.They are aware of the process of bringing the things in.Women view shops as wonderful places as eye candy where things are magically in.They can spend hours in shops.
-Men in women's eyes look underdressed and very untaken care for.Only gay men look a bit better.Women always take care of themselves.Many guys appear dirty.A lot dress very simple and in general have funny shapes and facies from women's point of view.Truly attractive men are very few.
-Women appear manipulative from women's point of view.They do not trust women because they think they act from interest.They regard men as more naive alltogether.
-Handsome men for women are not the same with the guys men find handsome.Women like more expressive men,men who have an expression who do not look blunt.

There was a whole lot going on so before I got crazy I decided to get on male mode again and the world became normal again.

Post: #11

So essentially, you are saying that women live in a Willy Wonka world?

Do you not think that attempting to understand how they see things has helped your game at all?

Your description seems to make a lot of sense, and I think shows a great empathy towards women. What did you do differently to gain this perspective? How did you get inside the woman (no pun intended)?

Any guy who posts a fake profile on and online dating website can can a take similar trip. My friend did this years ago with Craigslist and said it was a huge eye opener for him:

"I now know why women act so crazy, it is because they are drunk on power."

You don't need to take mushrooms or LCD, just try to see things from a girl's perspective and you might lose your mind.

Post: #12

(08-27-2012 07:33 AM)soup Wrote:  So essentially, you are saying that women live in a Willy Wonka world?

Do you not think that attempting to understand how they see things has helped your game at all?

Your description seems to make a lot of sense, and I think shows a great empathy towards women. What did you do differently to gain this perspective? How did you get inside the woman (no pun intended)?

Any guy who posts a fake profile on and online dating website can can a take similar trip. My friend did this years ago with Craigslist and said it was huge eye opener for him:

"I now know why women act so crazy, it is because they are drunk on power."

You don't need to take mushrooms or LCD, just try to see things from a girl's perspective and you will lose your mind.

I know I live in my own Willy Wonka world you don't need to be a woman for that. I think you need to look at it from the perspective that they are much more self-centered for good evolutionary reasons. I think from a general standpoint they see everyone in their social web as elements of a band which they are the conductor.
I try to look at each situation and run the possibilities and come up with the three most likely explanations for why she is acting this way. Usually when I give it some thought two of those explanations have similar or identical solutions for how I think I should play my next move. A good rule of thumb for me is that they are looking for new and more interesting distractions. Really they respond to shit that pulls them out of their own world and rationalizations. If you can do that I say that's half the battle. One of the reasons why we put so much stock in indicators of interest.
So basically to register on their radar you have to set yourself apart by being unique or interesting in their mind. Cliched yes, but still powerful. You have to be unique or interesting/mysterious. Whether you are or nut is subjective but you have to believe it to a degree yourself or no one else will.

Post: #13

(08-27-2012 12:54 AM)soup Wrote:  Maybe the first part of game is just learning the language of girls.

That in itself probably puts you ahead of most guys. But, there are probably other things that aren't intellectual that are going on.

I'd be curious to hear if advice like "imitate Hank Moody" works for anyone. I think you can learn a lot by copying.

The language of girls is emotions. Learn to read emotions better. It's not what they say but how they say it.
There's a lot of subtext to their language. Figure that out and you're golden.

Post: #14

(08-27-2012 07:33 AM)soup Wrote:  So essentially, you are saying that women live in a Willy Wonka world?

Do you not think that attempting to understand how they see things has helped your game at all?

Your description seems to make a lot of sense, and I think shows a great empathy towards women. What did you do differently to gain this perspective? How did you get inside the woman (no pun intended)?

Any guy who posts a fake profile on and online dating website can can a take similar trip. My friend did this years ago with Craigslist and said it was a huge eye opener for him:

"I now know why women act so crazy, it is because they are drunk on power."

You don't need to take mushrooms or LCD, just try to see things from a girl's perspective and you might lose your mind.

I do not know how I do it.I just concentrate and try to let all pictures of women's reactions into me.Then I view with their eyes.
I also know what women think by their eyes.Eyes always betray women because they reflect brain activity accurately.Also women's eyes are rather clear.Women who have very weak eyes sometimes wear sunglasses to avoid their thoughts being known.
Balkan women usually try to hide their thoughts from you by looking from down at an angle so you cannot see the eyes directly.Slavic women look deeply into your eyes so you know everything about them(it is also a way to get connected and arouse you or to make you interested in them like raw soul contact).With Russian women(Russian soul) the sensation is electric.

Post: #15

(08-27-2012 02:10 PM)Greek kamaki Wrote:  

(08-27-2012 07:33 AM)soup Wrote:  So essentially, you are saying that women live in a Willy Wonka world?

Do you not think that attempting to understand how they see things has helped your game at all?

Your description seems to make a lot of sense, and I think shows a great empathy towards women. What did you do differently to gain this perspective? How did you get inside the woman (no pun intended)?

Any guy who posts a fake profile on and online dating website can can a take similar trip. My friend did this years ago with Craigslist and said it was a huge eye opener for him:

"I now know why women act so crazy, it is because they are drunk on power."

You don't need to take mushrooms or LCD, just try to see things from a girl's perspective and you might lose your mind.

I do not know how I do it.I just concentrate and try to let all pictures of women's reactions into me.Then I view with their eyes.
I also know what women think by their eyes.Eyes always betray women because they reflect brain activity accurately.Also women's eyes are rather clear.Women who have very weak eyes sometimes wear sunglasses to avoid their thoughts being known.
Balkan women usually try to hide their thoughts from you by looking from down at an angle so you cannot see the eyes directly.Slavic women look deeply into your eyes so you know everything about them(it is also a way to get connected and arouse you or to make you interested in them like raw soul contact).With Russian women(Russian soul) the sensation is electric.

A, Polish girl I dated used to have a deep stare. Women telegraph through their eyes. This is why eye contact is so important when you talk to them.

Men do it to each other as well, but have to be careful because it can lead to conflict.

I'm sure that this helped your game, no?

Post: #16

Yes, women always give subtle hints of what they want you to do.For example instead of telling "I am tired I want to leave" they say:Maybe you want to go home to sleep early you work tomorrow.Or they may say "it has become a little hot here,what do you think?And you answer of course darling better go home to relax.

Post: #17

Here's another:

Having bad game looks to a girl like an annoying, ugly, fat cockblocker feels to us.

Post: #18

Maybe, its just me but I can't stand this whole never be sensitive/emotional thing that can be so heavily talked about in the game/discussions. Just not my style and something that can really help you/differentiate you from the rest of men who won't be able to go such into such subjects (deep rapport).

I think for me personally, what I would is to just learn emotions MUCH better. This is something where everything gets lost in the communication between men and women. Women are MUCH more emotional than we are as well as subtle in their communication (whether its their communication or reading yours. I also can't stand the whole women are emotional, and men are the logical ones. If you think, that you being a man you don't base your actions/decisions off emotions (at least every now and then) than you are only deluding yourself).

Again, be able to understand your own emotions/emotional triggers, hers/others, and how to enable them in others when communicating. Being able to talk to girls/get emotional will REALLY differentiate you from the rest of the dudes out there, but again-this isn't applicable to all girls and you should ideally be able to adjust to each one. Im also not saying, being a beta ass biatch and emo-no, not at all. Just be able to have deep/personal stories that will really allow you to connect with someone and not just on a basic level. Go deeper when necessary, and girls will remember you.