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Complicated friend zone situation
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Sebastian Offline
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Post: #1
Complicated friend zone situation
When I met this girl, she already had a BF.
Although I liked her, she was happy in a relationship so I didn't think about any possibilities with her.
We just got to know each other through work environment and kept everything professional.

She got married for a year and now she is going through a divorce. she is going to move out soon.

I liked her personality since the day 1 we met (she has the opposite traits of American girls we hate on this forum)
I just wished I would find a GF like that someday. I also wished she stayed with a guy forever.

I am having a mixed feeling. I am not excited for her becoming single. I know her guy so it kind of sucks to develop feelings for her after watching them dating and living together.

After she told me about her going through a divorce, I pretty much have been her emotional tampon. I knew this was a beta move but I couldn't ignore her but to listen and offer advices.

We click so well in conversation. But she told me this phrase several times in conversation 'you are my good friend'

I feel like I just want to confess like a classical beta 'hey...I look at you as more than a friend'
But her answer should be 'oh...johnny....but we are just friends'

I am not looking for some lay at all. I've known her for a while and I am drawn to her personality. I am looking forward to serious relationship.

Obviously, she is sad right now and will be sad for a while after a divorce. Should I just keep in touch with her as friends till she sorts out her feelings about the divorce? I don't think she will be ready to meet any guys for a while.

I don't think 'confession' would be a good idea. what other ways are there to let her know about my feelings?
08-04-2012 06:07 AM
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Handsome Creepy Eel Online
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Post: #2
RE: Complicated friend zone situation
Other than avoiding the confession and just trying to get her drunk and kiss/bang, I think it's hopeless. And you're in way too deep. Your best move would be avoiding her and making her miss you. Never explain why or anything about your feelings.

Also:
Sebastian Wrote:she has the opposite traits of American girls we hate on this forum

The fact that she has changed several guys (including her husband) and is shamelessly using you as emotional tampon is in direct contradiction with what you wrote. My point is: even if you do succeed with her, you're still fucked.

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08-04-2012 07:16 AM
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j r Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Complicated friend zone situation
Not to sound flippant, but every guy who gets friend zoned thinks that it's "complicated." It's not. She's not into you, but as long as you don't make any real demands of her she is happy to keep you around for your shoulder.

Here's the thing, when most girls say "let's just be friends," what they really mean is "let's pretend to be friends until I can find some other guy that I'm attracted to who will pay attention to me." There are exceptions but most women make terrible friends. Maybe I'm wrong but I'm guessing that most of your conversations are about her problems. If some shit were really about to go down for you, how fast would she be there?

Unless she is one if those rare birds who is actually a good friend, just get the fuck away from her. Bang other girls. Get her off your mind. Once you have some clarity, you can see her again. Game her. Physically escalate. If she's not down, then just be out. You'll be much happier for it.
(This post was last modified: 08-04-2012 08:06 AM by j r.)
08-04-2012 08:05 AM
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trojanohorse Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Complicated friend zone situation
She's not into you. Like you said, you became her emotional tampon. Girls that are not attracted to you share that much of themselves with you. You would be better off just making a small joke and changing topics. As to the whole proposal thing, I say forget it and just let things be natural between you two. If you engage her at that logical level, she's going to hate your guts, specially since she's going through a divorce. I would say just ignore her, date other women in front of her, tease her and show her a good time before she is naturlly attracted to you again. Hope it helps.
Also do not develop onitis, it's a disease of the brain, tricking you into thinking a girl is the one, when in reality she's not. Even if you find yourself wanting a girlfriend, just ignore it and let the girls prove themselves to you. It's a much healthier way to improve game and act when you eventually do find the one.
02-16-2014 06:28 PM
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Capitán Peligroso Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Complicated friend zone situation
This is the second time in about 15 minutes that I've recommended this video. It's not complicated, don't make it complicated.




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02-16-2014 09:14 PM
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Mr. Calicoat Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Complicated friend zone situation
(08-04-2012 06:07 AM)Sebastian Wrote:  I am not looking for some lay at all. I've known her for a while and I am drawn to her personality. I am looking forward to serious relationship.

Then why are you here? This is a forum to teach men how to be proper men and how to get laid. This place isn't some kind of relationship advice forum.

Edit: Considering your post count I'd expect you have some knowledge about game. Which makes me wonder why the heck you made so many rookie/Beta mistakes.

Edit 2: Nevermind, I see trojanohorse necro'd an old thread. Seems the opening post is hella old. I hope the OP is a smarter, wiser and more a red-pill man now.
(This post was last modified: 02-17-2014 08:39 PM by Mr. Calicoat.)
02-17-2014 08:34 PM
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Sombro Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Complicated friend zone situation
(02-17-2014 08:34 PM)Mr. Calicoat Wrote:  
(08-04-2012 06:07 AM)Sebastian Wrote:  I am not looking for some lay at all. I've known her for a while and I am drawn to her personality. I am looking forward to serious relationship.

Then why are you here? This is a forum to teach men how to be proper men and how to get laid. This place isn't some kind of relationship advice forum.

Edit: Considering your post count I'd expect you have some knowledge about game. Which makes me wonder why the heck you made so many rookie/Beta mistakes.

Edit 2: Nevermind, I see trojanohorse necro'd an old thread. Seems the opening post is hella old. I hope the OP is a smarter, wiser and more a red-pill man now.

Exactly. If you don't care about laying this chick and you're all right being an emotional tampon, what is your question?

oop -- old thread
(This post was last modified: 02-17-2014 11:50 PM by Sombro.)
02-17-2014 11:49 PM
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WestIndianArchie Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Complicated friend zone situation
You're not operating from a position of strength.

Cut ties and re-engage when you have more strength

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02-18-2014 12:22 PM
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