Post: #1

Some of you may know of my relationship drama. In a nutshell, I had a girl for about 3 months. Started as a fuckbuddy, then became a bit more serious (we DTR'd a couple times, but it was always vague and inconclusive).

This situation happened: /thread-13952.html where we lost contact for about a little over a week, then I saw her out at a club with another guy she met earlier that week. That happened about 2 weeks ago. I flipped out at her, and took it pretty hard and became pretty depressed. Sure it's not alpha to take a short-term relationship badly, but as a newbie, it was really exciting to be in the semi-relationship and to have sex at my beck-and-call.

FWIW, a week after that I texted her I needed closure. She said come over. I came over. We chatted for about 2 minutes - I told her she really fuckin hurt me, and she said she cut it off because she was 'afraid of me' (never did anything I would construe as threatening in the least). A couple minutes later her new guy shows up at the door with flowers. I slam the door in his fucking face, and basically she runs away with the dude in front of me, and that's that.

Since then for the last 1.5-2 weeks, dude, I've been gaming every single fucking day, making between 3-5 approaches on average. Been motivated a lot by anger and the fact that I hate being alone, which has motivated me to go extra hard. Despite being a good looking guy that girls check out visually and applying game tactics fairly smoothly, every single set ends with the I-have-a-boyfriend, even the sets the go very well for 20-30 minutes. The couple phone numbers I collected are flakes. Have zero leads. And honestly I still think about the bitch who dumped me.

So anyway, I happened to check her facebook page earlier today, and she made an 'official' announcement that she's in relationship with homeboy - after 3 fucking weeks. Man, I got fucking pissed off. Here I was trying to solidify shit after the 2 month mark, and they get 'official' after 3 weeks.

Homeboy seemed pretty normal and not particularly beta-ish despite the flowers, and in fact when we were pugnaciously arguing at each other during the flower incident he yelled, "you've only been seeing her 3 months get over her." True dat, but homeboy sees her for 3 weeks and then becomes facebook official.

I'm at a loss for words and just extremely angry at the whole thing. What the fuck. I keep rehashing in my mind the whole fucking situation just don't know.

Do alphas figure out they want a relationship in 3 weeks? Is the facebook official relationship thing a game tactic, or an anti-game tactic?

More importantly, however, any thoughts on the whole situation from someone who's been in my shoes before (for a next time something like this happens)?

Post: #2

You are taking this stuff way too serious.

Have fun.

Be positive.

If not, you are going to be young with grey hair.

Post: #3

Specifically what've you lost?

Post: #4

(07-20-2012 12:43 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  You are taking this stuff way too serious.

Have fun.

Be positive.

If not, you are going to be young with grey hair.

I've had grey hair since I was a teen and in my 30's now, chicks dig it

Post: #5

(07-20-2012 12:46 PM)PompeyChris Wrote:  Specifically what've you lost?

Well, it fills me up with extreme envy that some average dude who brings flowers to their 3rd date took her away from me when I had been applying all these game principles and shit. This kills me much more so than actually losing her.

And it also made me how fucking much I hate being alone. And the fact that constant gaming over the last 2 weeks has led to nothing doesn't help.

Post: #6

Quote:Been motivated a lot by anger and the fact that I hate being alone...

My advice would be to work on these two things. Anger is something that you should feel in appropriate moments. When anger is something that lingers in you, it's the sign of larger problems. Also, why do you hate being alone? Time to yourself should be a luxury and not a burden.

Post: #7

She's gone dude, get over it, you dated for 3 months and things weren't even that serious by your own admission. Just be happy that something really bad didn't happen to you, something like getting arrested for a b.s. domestic violence charge, getting her preggo and her keeping the baby, or her cheating on you with your best friend, or giving you an STD. That's shit that happens to people, and is about 100X worse than anything you experienced.

You just need to mellow the fuck out, you care way too much, are getting way too jealous, and emotional for no good reason... Nothing good will come from it... Part of doing well in the "game" is growing a thick skin and learning how to manage and sometime numb your emotions.

Like you said you are new to game, so this is just going to be a bump in the road, you'll get over it and realize your mistakes and hopefully grow and be better from it. You need to master the art of "not giving a fuck."

Also, being alone sucks, but unless you are a really good looking guy with tight game and/or lifestyle, chances are you will go through dry spells and periods where you will be alone or at least not in a relationship. I say embrace it, learn to not need others, especially women. Being all sad, depressed, and lonely is just a perpetuating cycle that can keep a guy trapped.

Final thought, stop giving a fuck about this particular chick, just don't look at her facebook, don't talk about her, don't text her, don't answer her texts if she engages you, she should be dead to you. Oh and don't take her getting a new boyfriend personally, don't take it as something against you, or that the other guy is better than you, chances are she'll play him and move on to someone new in a few months anyways.

Post: #8

Facebook is not reality . It is merely the reality people choose to present of themselves to the world. Anything that happens on Facebook should have zero impact on your game.

Post: #9

(07-20-2012 12:36 PM)HiFlo Wrote:  Some of you may know of my relationship drama. In a nutshell, I had a girl for about 3 months. Started as a fuckbuddy, then became a bit more serious (we DTR'd a couple times, but it was always vague and inconclusive).

This situation happened: /thread-13952.html where we lost contact for about a little over a week, then I saw her out at a club with another guy she met earlier that week. That happened about 2 weeks ago. I flipped out at her, and took it pretty hard and became pretty depressed. Sure it's not alpha to take a short-term relationship badly, but as a newbie, it was really exciting to be in the semi-relationship and to have sex at my beck-and-call.

FWIW, a week after that I texted her I needed closure. She said come over. I came over. We chatted for about 2 minutes - I told her she really fuckin hurt me, and she said she cut it off because she was 'afraid of me' (never did anything I would construe as threatening in the least). A couple minutes later her new guy shows up at the door with flowers. I slam the door in his fucking face, and basically she runs away with the dude in front of me, and that's that.

Since then for the last 1.5-2 weeks, dude, I've been gaming every single fucking day, making between 3-5 approaches on average. Been motivated a lot by anger and the fact that I hate being alone, which has motivated me to go extra hard. Despite being a good looking guy that girls check out visually and applying game tactics fairly smoothly, every single set ends with the I-have-a-boyfriend, even the sets the go very well for 20-30 minutes. The couple phone numbers I collected are flakes. Have zero leads. And honestly I still think about the bitch who dumped me.

So anyway, I happened to check her facebook page earlier today, and she made an 'official' announcement that she's in relationship with homeboy - after 3 fucking weeks. Man, I got fucking pissed off. Here I was trying to solidify shit after the 2 month mark, and they get 'official' after 3 weeks.

Homeboy seemed pretty normal and not particularly beta-ish despite the flowers, and in fact when we were pugnaciously arguing at each other during the flower incident he yelled, "you've only been seeing her 3 months get over her." True dat, but homeboy sees her for 3 weeks and then becomes facebook official.

I'm at a loss for words and just extremely angry at the whole thing. What the fuck. I keep rehashing in my mind the whole fucking situation just don't know.

Do alphas figure out they want a relationship in 3 weeks? Is the facebook official relationship thing a game tactic, or an anti-game tactic?

More importantly, however, any thoughts on the whole situation from someone who's been in my shoes before (for a next time something like this happens)?

This sounds like a good opportunity for you to grow.

You need to acknowledge your anger, jealousy, and resentment. Not to get all therapist and shit, but you need to deal with these emotions before moving on. Sounds like you won't get closure in dealing with this chick directly.

You can't be bringing these negative emotions into your approaches.

You need to deal with being alone. Don't anesthetize your pain or put it off by trying to find a replacement girl.

If you spend 2 weeks working out like a madman, reading, working (if you have a job), taking classes, being productive, and you come home at night and feel incredibly lonely and cry into your pillow, well, then do that. One day you will wake up and it will pass. You have to have faith that your negative emotions will pass and you simply need to be patient.

Once they pass, it's time to start fresh. Don't make the same mistakes you made before. Don't open up your heart so quickly, if at all. Keep yourself in check. Take your time and start building your own happiness that doesn't include other women having any bearing on your happiness whatsoever. Once you become that happy, positive, upbeat, social guy, THEN start running approaches and watch the difference in your interactions. Again, be patient and go through the motions. Understand that what you're going through has been done by many guys before you and it's simply your turn to jump through the fire.

Post: #10

You think bringing her flowers was an alpha move?

She'll be cheating on that dude faster than she dumped your ass.


Stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop being a pussy. You're obviously still new to the game, so don't sweat this.

Once girls are chasing you, and not vice versa, then you'll know that you've graduated from the intermediate stages of game and moved onto the more advanced.

Post: #11

If you find yourself doing "I told her she really fuckin hurt me"

Then you should drop that game, start new ones, and don't ever do that again.

Btw, wtf is FWIW ?

Post: #12

(07-20-2012 04:57 PM)soup Wrote:  If you find yourself doing "I told her she really fuckin hurt me"

Then you should drop that game, start new ones, and don't ever do that again.

Btw, wtf is FWIW ?

For What It's Worth.

Sometimes I think back to mistakes I've made with chicks. About being a pussy, letting myself be a doormat, basically fucking things up royally and creating a lot of heartache and misery for myself. I'm thankful for those memories and experiences because now I have something to look back on to ensure those things never happen again.

Post: #13

I think a big problem here is that you "hate being alone". This is always a red flag to me. Personally, I MUCH prefer to be alone. What is your social life like? What are your hobbies? Do you work out?

Between Jiu Jitsu, going out with my friends, chasing girls and working on my online projects, I keep myself entertained. Maybe that is your problem? Maybe you need to make your life better and more exciting for yourself, as opposed to dragging someone else into it who you THINK can make it better.

Post: #14

(07-20-2012 03:56 PM)HiFlo Wrote:  

(07-20-2012 12:46 PM)PompeyChris Wrote:  Specifically what've you lost?

Well, it fills me up with extreme envy that some average dude who brings flowers to their 3rd date took her away from me when I had been applying all these game principles and shit. This kills me much more so than actually losing her.

And it also made me how fucking much I hate being alone. And the fact that constant gaming over the last 2 weeks has led to nothing doesn't help.

It's a failure, and thats the best way to learn. Just keep cracking on with it. You can look at any sporting champion and see that they've failed and became better.

Also I believe you need to gain a stronger integrity/more independence. About a year ago I realised that I was super attached to my gf(who I am still with). Because of that attachment I didn't have a good control over my own state and never felt fulfilled in anything. I changed that, applied game priniciples now its the complete opposite. Improved the relationship and now I'm a stand alone guy.
Being alone is just an opportunity.

Post: #15

The reason I hate being alone is because I've been alone so much of my fucking life, so that when the relationship ended with someone where I wasn't really lonely anymore, it was just the biggest & most depressing buzzkill ever to go back to baseline. Either way, it's motivating me to move to the keep on gaming to get back to that high.

But regardless, thanks for ALL the input from everyone in this thread. It has really helped me a lot to move on.