Post: #1126

(12-19-2013 08:34 PM)Dusty Wrote:  

(12-19-2013 05:57 PM)quino_16 Wrote:  I did three approaches today. The conversations were really short since I still feel anxious and nervous when I approach a girl during the day.

Anyhow, it was raining today in LA so I decided to go to an inside mall near my house instead of Santa Monica. Originally, I was going to do 5 approaches but I was taking forever so I just did three.

I bitched out two or three times before I made my first approach. I would guess that she was around her 30's which explained the a busted face, but her body was decent. I didn't what to open with so I used my default opener of what time is it. She said that she didn't know because she did not have a watch and left.

My second approach was perhaps the most successful out of the three. I saw this girl attending a boutique stand and asked where the food court. She answered that is upstairs and then I ask her what food do they have. She replied with a lot. She didn't seem too friendly so I left. Nonetheless, I should have continued with the conversation a little longer.

After 10-15 minutes of not finding a decent prospects, I decided to go back home. On my way home, I opened this asian chick with the "Do you know what time it is?" opener since I couldn't think of anything else. She responded with hesitant laugh and ask what type of question is that.

Reflections:

The anxiety before the approach is killing me. Even after I approach a girl I still feel anxious and I want to end the conversation as quickly as possible. I know I need to work on this. However, is it normal to feel this way?

The second thing I need to work is that when I approach a girl that is walking away from me she doesn't stop. How do I get her to stop?

First, congratulations on putting yourself out there and approaching despite your anxiety!

Yes, it's "normal" to feel anxiety about approaching. Most people do to varying degree.

You seem perhaps a bit hard on yourself for your anxiety? There's no need to feel shame for being anxious, just go out there and keep doing it. If you bungle things, it's to be expected since you are new and feeling shame about that is not warranted and not helpful.

Yes, you can work on your opener. "What time is it?" is not the best because it probably doesn't seem genuine, and also it usually doesn't lend itself to much after that.

Look for objects or things she is carrying or things around you:

• That ice cream looks good, now I want one!
• Is that drink good?
• Your backpack looks sturdy, can it hold a Mac Book you think?
• I like your scarf, I bet it's keeping you warm on this chilly day.
  

Read Day Bang by Roosh, it gives an excellent conversation model.

Maybe just focus on your openers for now. If the conversation fizzles after the opener, so be it, you have time to learn. After you come somewhat an old pro at the opener, try more extended conversations.

Take the pressure off. You don't have to be great or even good when you are starting out. Don't beat yourself up or worry if you feel anxiety or if it's normal and all that jazz or if you flub some of your approaches. There's no substitution for experience, so get out there and approach and get experience.

There might be some ideas in here about openers:

/thread-4382.html

Practice that in your real life too. If your walking down the street with your co-workers and can't open, practice in your mind how you might open girls you see walking by if you could open.

Thanks for the input.

It has been a while since I read Day Bang but I'll reread it.

I approach an older girl later today with my friend. It defiantly went better than the first three since I actually managed a short conversation. However, I couldn't get the number.

I am going to go hard this winter break in daygame. So, I plan to do ten approaches tomorrow. We'll see what happens.

Post: #1127

I was hanging out with my best friend/wingman at the bar last night.

This obnoxious group of girls walked in. Bachelorette party. Screaming "shots" "lets get fucked up" and all sorts of stuff. My friend look at each other, smile and stop them as they walk by.

I grab the "main" girl and jokingly tell her "well, that sucks". (not the best opener but it rarely matters what you say)

We started talking with her and her friend.

The main chick was already hammered and being really obnoxious, her friend wasn't as drunk. Cute, fit, nice ass, half italian/half puerto rican.

The friend then asked what nationality we were, I told her to guess.
For some reason I always get puerto rican or colombian.
She never guessed correctly so I told her.

Then the "main" chick tried to get me to buy the whole group a round of shots. I completely ignored her and kept talking to her friend. Must have thought I was one of those chumps who just goes around buying girls I barely know shots.

Talked for a bit then they left and sat at a table.

My friend and I just stayed at the bar then saw a couple guys we know sitting at a table next to them, so we went and sat with them.

As we got ready to leave, the group of girls got up too.

The friend came up to me and said:

Her: Nice meeting you (and gave me a hug)
Me: Yup, same.
Me: What are you girls gonna be on tonight?
Her: Blah blah blah, wedding is sunday.
Me: We should meet up over the weekend or something.
Her: Yea, take my number
Me: Okay

As she was telling me her number, all the girls came by saying "no, no, no" , mostly the obnoxious bachelorette trying to give her shit for giving me her number. She still gave it to me.

As she left, I asked her:

Me: So what's your name again?
Her: Stephanie
Me: Cool, I'll text you

Gave me a hug then left.

Texted her my name a bit later when I got home. We'll see where it goes.

Post: #1128

(12-19-2013 11:28 PM)quino_16 Wrote:  

(12-19-2013 08:34 PM)Dusty Wrote:  

(12-19-2013 05:57 PM)quino_16 Wrote:  I did three approaches today. The conversations were really short since I still feel anxious and nervous when I approach a girl during the day.

Anyhow, it was raining today in LA so I decided to go to an inside mall near my house instead of Santa Monica. Originally, I was going to do 5 approaches but I was taking forever so I just did three.

I bitched out two or three times before I made my first approach. I would guess that she was around her 30's which explained the a busted face, but her body was decent. I didn't what to open with so I used my default opener of what time is it. She said that she didn't know because she did not have a watch and left.

My second approach was perhaps the most successful out of the three. I saw this girl attending a boutique stand and asked where the food court. She answered that is upstairs and then I ask her what food do they have. She replied with a lot. She didn't seem too friendly so I left. Nonetheless, I should have continued with the conversation a little longer.

After 10-15 minutes of not finding a decent prospects, I decided to go back home. On my way home, I opened this asian chick with the "Do you know what time it is?" opener since I couldn't think of anything else. She responded with hesitant laugh and ask what type of question is that.

Reflections:

The anxiety before the approach is killing me. Even after I approach a girl I still feel anxious and I want to end the conversation as quickly as possible. I know I need to work on this. However, is it normal to feel this way?

The second thing I need to work is that when I approach a girl that is walking away from me she doesn't stop. How do I get her to stop?

First, congratulations on putting yourself out there and approaching despite your anxiety!

Yes, it's "normal" to feel anxiety about approaching. Most people do to varying degree.

You seem perhaps a bit hard on yourself for your anxiety? There's no need to feel shame for being anxious, just go out there and keep doing it. If you bungle things, it's to be expected since you are new and feeling shame about that is not warranted and not helpful.

Yes, you can work on your opener. "What time is it?" is not the best because it probably doesn't seem genuine, and also it usually doesn't lend itself to much after that.

Look for objects or things she is carrying or things around you:

• That ice cream looks good, now I want one!
• Is that drink good?
• Your backpack looks sturdy, can it hold a Mac Book you think?
• I like your scarf, I bet it's keeping you warm on this chilly day.
  

Read Day Bang by Roosh, it gives an excellent conversation model.

Maybe just focus on your openers for now. If the conversation fizzles after the opener, so be it, you have time to learn. After you come somewhat an old pro at the opener, try more extended conversations.

Take the pressure off. You don't have to be great or even good when you are starting out. Don't beat yourself up or worry if you feel anxiety or if it's normal and all that jazz or if you flub some of your approaches. There's no substitution for experience, so get out there and approach and get experience.

There might be some ideas in here about openers:

/thread-4382.html

Practice that in your real life too. If your walking down the street with your co-workers and can't open, practice in your mind how you might open girls you see walking by if you could open.

Thanks for the input.

It has been a while since I read Day Bang but I'll reread it.

I approach an older girl later today with my friend. It defiantly went better than the first three since I actually managed a short conversation. However, I couldn't get the number.

I am going to go hard this winter break in daygame. So, I plan to do ten approaches tomorrow. We'll see what happens.

You are doing fine as long as you're doing the approaches consistently. Everything will take care of itself. It does suck in the beginning but I promise it will be way better later on, it's the pain period for now. Everyone goes through with it when learning a new skill. I was nervous as fuck when I did my first approach after not doing any approaches for 5 years and I was trying to talk to a teenage girl that worked at a glamor shot place with nothing to do.

For now I would suggest not even going for the number because it will put you in a outcome dependent mindset. Just approach cute girls for the heck of it because you are feeling good and you want to spread your love, being outcome independent and not giving a shit if they aren't receptive. Remember, whatever they're projecting is a projection of themselves on to you, so it's nothing personal(the empty boat parable). Of course, it goes both ways. Just fuck with them and have fun because girls aren't meant to be taken seriously.

One opener I would suggest in the beginning is asking for recommendation for bday gifts for your niece or Xmas gifts for someone. Say you've been walking around the mall but have not clue what to get them and need some help. Look like you are confused and then transition into something else a few minutes in.

Keep at it man. You're doing good. Just do a certain amount of 'reps' everyday and you'll definite see improvements. Also keep a journal of what happened and your thoughts on the approaches.

Here is one from yesterday.

I walked into the grocery store and saw a blonde dressed slutty as fuck(super short jeans, I can see her cheeks) in a self checkout line. I walked around to see if there's anyone else while planning my move. I made eye contact with a cute asian chick and she smiled at me. She went into a line and later I see her running in the store trying to get someone before the cashier gets to her. I walked out of the store trying to time my approach to the blonde. I went to my car and put my wallet in my car and walked around the parking lot. This girl was taking her sweet ass time and I didn't see her come out but I did see the asian chick pushing her cart to her car. I was contemplating if I should approach her then I decided to go in. But I didn't know what I should open her with so as I walking towards her car, I tried to think of something and I did...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZopBwY_tk...e=youtu.be

Reflection: She seemed like she was really interested. I should've pushed further for her number instead of giving mine or take her phone and put my number in and dial so I'd have her number. Maybe I should've built a bit more rapport before asking her number. The hug at the end was unexpected for me as well as the thank you from her. I just went along with it. I think she definitely knows what's up. But I haven't got a text from her and I don't expect to since 99.9% of the time a girl won't initiate. If she does, then...

Post: #1129

I'm trying this day game thing a bit more. Was at a pickle stand, next to an attractive mid 30s girl I would say. Everyone was talking about pickles and someone said I came all the way from LA just to get some of these pickles.

Her: There's a business idea, you should start this stand over there.
Me: I don't think he'd take too kindly to me stealing his business idea.
Her: Well there's always the option to franchise. But I'm not sure what the pickle market is in California.
Me: It doesn't exist, trust me. The best pickles are here.

She walked over to get her pickles and didn't really know what else to do. I was with two friends though that's not an excuse. To top it off, I was wearing the most ridiculous outfit because I had just ran home to change after work and help out my buddy move furniture. So I was wearing a white undershirt, a polo, track pants and sneakers. Obviously I didn't expect to run into someone. Lesson learned.

This daygame shit is really fun. Just to get into the mood today I opened a really ugly girl:

Me: Good looking shiba inu there.
Her: (scared) thanks?

She ran away. I guess ugly girls are not used to talking to people haha.

Post: #1130

I got back from daygame with my friend.

I would say that I did better than yesterday, but, unfortunately, I only did three approaches instead of the ten I planned for.

The first approach went well although I ran out of things to say. However, I had no fear when I did the approach. I think this is the main aspect that I should take away from it.

The second approach was not as good as the first one since I couldn't even hold a conversation with the girl but, like the first one, I had no fear when I did the approach.

The third approach was arguably the most successful since I managed to hold an actual conversation. However, I did fumble quite a bit through out the interaction but it went well.

After these approaches, my friend and I couldn't find anymore girls so we went to another mall.

I bombed in this mall. I couldn't do one single approach. I over thought each approach too much. The boldness from earlier in the day didn't carry through to these approaches, unfortunately. My friend was doing really well though, which furthered pressured me to approach and at least get number. It didn't happen - I just bitched out.

Despite, the bad ending today, there are some positive things I can take away from this experience.

1. I sometimes over think approaching. I have to condition myself to just approach and not think - to live in the moment. I have to admit it; this is very hard to do while being sober. While I am drunk, the analytic part of my brain is off. However, it is on full gear when I am sober. I need to consciously turn this part off while I'm approaching and talking to girls.

2. I have to get better in maintaing the direction and flow of the conversation.

Overall, I just need to practice more.

(12-20-2013 12:50 PM)MiscVs Wrote:  

(12-19-2013 11:28 PM)quino_16 Wrote:  

(12-19-2013 08:34 PM)Dusty Wrote:  

(12-19-2013 05:57 PM)quino_16 Wrote:  I did three approaches today. The conversations were really short since I still feel anxious and nervous when I approach a girl during the day.

Anyhow, it was raining today in LA so I decided to go to an inside mall near my house instead of Santa Monica. Originally, I was going to do 5 approaches but I was taking forever so I just did three.

I bitched out two or three times before I made my first approach. I would guess that she was around her 30's which explained the a busted face, but her body was decent. I didn't what to open with so I used my default opener of what time is it. She said that she didn't know because she did not have a watch and left.

My second approach was perhaps the most successful out of the three. I saw this girl attending a boutique stand and asked where the food court. She answered that is upstairs and then I ask her what food do they have. She replied with a lot. She didn't seem too friendly so I left. Nonetheless, I should have continued with the conversation a little longer.

After 10-15 minutes of not finding a decent prospects, I decided to go back home. On my way home, I opened this asian chick with the "Do you know what time it is?" opener since I couldn't think of anything else. She responded with hesitant laugh and ask what type of question is that.

Reflections:

The anxiety before the approach is killing me. Even after I approach a girl I still feel anxious and I want to end the conversation as quickly as possible. I know I need to work on this. However, is it normal to feel this way?

The second thing I need to work is that when I approach a girl that is walking away from me she doesn't stop. How do I get her to stop?

First, congratulations on putting yourself out there and approaching despite your anxiety!

Yes, it's "normal" to feel anxiety about approaching. Most people do to varying degree.

You seem perhaps a bit hard on yourself for your anxiety? There's no need to feel shame for being anxious, just go out there and keep doing it. If you bungle things, it's to be expected since you are new and feeling shame about that is not warranted and not helpful.

Yes, you can work on your opener. "What time is it?" is not the best because it probably doesn't seem genuine, and also it usually doesn't lend itself to much after that.

Look for objects or things she is carrying or things around you:

• That ice cream looks good, now I want one!
• Is that drink good?
• Your backpack looks sturdy, can it hold a Mac Book you think?
• I like your scarf, I bet it's keeping you warm on this chilly day.
  

Read Day Bang by Roosh, it gives an excellent conversation model.

Maybe just focus on your openers for now. If the conversation fizzles after the opener, so be it, you have time to learn. After you come somewhat an old pro at the opener, try more extended conversations.

Take the pressure off. You don't have to be great or even good when you are starting out. Don't beat yourself up or worry if you feel anxiety or if it's normal and all that jazz or if you flub some of your approaches. There's no substitution for experience, so get out there and approach and get experience.

There might be some ideas in here about openers:

/thread-4382.html

Practice that in your real life too. If your walking down the street with your co-workers and can't open, practice in your mind how you might open girls you see walking by if you could open.

Thanks for the input.

It has been a while since I read Day Bang but I'll reread it.

I approach an older girl later today with my friend. It defiantly went better than the first three since I actually managed a short conversation. However, I couldn't get the number.

I am going to go hard this winter break in daygame. So, I plan to do ten approaches tomorrow. We'll see what happens.

You are doing fine as long as you're doing the approaches consistently. Everything will take care of itself. It does suck in the beginning but I promise it will be way better later on, it's the pain period for now. Everyone goes through with it when learning a new skill. I was nervous as fuck when I did my first approach after not doing any approaches for 5 years and I was trying to talk to a teenage girl that worked at a glamor shot place with nothing to do.

For now I would suggest not even going for the number because it will put you in a outcome dependent mindset. Just approach cute girls for the heck of it because you are feeling good and you want to spread your love, being outcome independent and not giving a shit if they aren't receptive. Remember, whatever they're projecting is a projection of themselves on to you, so it's nothing personal(the empty boat parable). Of course, it goes both ways. Just fuck with them and have fun because girls aren't meant to be taken seriously.

One opener I would suggest in the beginning is asking for recommendation for bday gifts for your niece or Xmas gifts for someone. Say you've been walking around the mall but have not clue what to get them and need some help. Look like you are confused and then transition into something else a few minutes in.

Keep at it man. You're doing good. Just do a certain amount of 'reps' everyday and you'll definite see improvements. Also keep a journal of what happened and your thoughts on the approaches.

Here is one from yesterday.

I walked into the grocery store and saw a blonde dressed slutty as fuck(super short jeans, I can see her cheeks) in a self checkout line. I walked around to see if there's anyone else while planning my move. I made eye contact with a cute asian chick and she smiled at me. She went into a line and later I see her running in the store trying to get someone before the cashier gets to her. I walked out of the store trying to time my approach to the blonde. I went to my car and put my wallet in my car and walked around the parking lot. This girl was taking her sweet ass time and I didn't see her come out but I did see the asian chick pushing her cart to her car. I was contemplating if I should approach her then I decided to go in. But I didn't know what I should open her with so as I walking towards her car, I tried to think of something and I did...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZopBwY_tk...e=youtu.be

Reflection: She seemed like she was really interested. I should've pushed further for her number instead of giving mine or take her phone and put my number in and dial so I'd have her number. Maybe I should've built a bit more rapport before asking her number. The hug at the end was unexpected for me as well as the thank you from her. I just went along with it. I think she definitely knows what's up. But I haven't got a text from her and I don't expect to since 99.9% of the time a girl won't initiate. If she does, then...

Thanks a lot man. I appreciate the feedback. The second paragraph really served as a reminder for me.

Post: #1131

This was my first Day approach in a couple of days (and most successful), sometimes girls just make it easy.

I was sitting in a café today and noticed a girl sitting in the corner, I went over and approached her (on the way back from the bathroom) with an elderly opener "is that a good phone" even though it was an older model Iphone. I asked her several questions about it and newer models that she said her friends had, while dropping my first bait about needing a new phone, because I just moved back to the States from Europe and my old U.S. phone belonged in a museum.
She was friendly and eager to talk to me even when I rambled about stupid things (cold, shitty weather/fun things to do in town/art galleries/holiday shopping), she finally took the bait and asked my where I was living in Europe and started to talk about her study abroad experience.

I told her I had to go and suggested we exchange numbers. She responded enthusiastically and wrote her number on a piece of paper and gave it to me.

I texted her about 45 minutes later and she responded about an hour after that, might not pan out, but even if it doesn't I felt good about this approach and will give me more confidence going forward.

Things I did well:
- Ramble. Often I tend to open and then I let the interaction fizzle partly out of fear of asking personal questions. This time after my initial opener I just started talking about whatever (if she was present shopping or for herself, why she was wearing a bow in her hair, etc). It helped that she was friendly and receptive to being approached..
- Approaching in crowded environments. Often I would only do a real approach if she was somewhat secluded, but after I got past the first minute or two of talking to her, it seemed pretty normal and the thought of being judged by others completely evaporated.

Needs improvement
- Ramble. In the middle of the interaction I was stuck asking personal questions, so I think in the future I need to work on having non-question statements, as to not scare the cat of girls that are not as open.

Look forward to doing this more (consistently) and any feedback/comments are welcome.

Post: #1132

Pacesetter, just curious were you standing the whole time while you were chatting her up? Seems like she was seated by your description.

Post: #1133

(12-21-2013 08:54 PM)slubu Wrote:  Pacesetter, just curious were you standing the whole time while you were chatting her up? Seems like she was seated by your description.

You are correct, I was standing and she was seated. The thought occurred to me to ask to join her or just sit down, however, my belongings were in another part of the café that I would either leave to go get or leave unattended. I'm curious though for the more experienced day gamers if joining her is the better way to go.

Post: #1134

(12-21-2013 09:00 PM)Pacesetter20 Wrote:  

(12-21-2013 08:54 PM)slubu Wrote:  Pacesetter, just curious were you standing the whole time while you were chatting her up? Seems like she was seated by your description.

You are correct, I was standing and she was seated. The thought occurred to me to ask to join her or just sit down, however, my belongings were in another part of the café that I would either leave to go get or leave unattended. I'm curious though for the more experienced day gamers if joining her is the better way to go.

Yes, after you saw she was responsive and was happy to talk with you, feel free to sit down … makes the interaction a little easier if you're both sitting there.

If I approach girl whose sitting down, I'll say something to her, and if she seems welcome to conversation I'll just sit down or pull up a chair.

Post: #1135

(12-20-2013 06:04 PM)slubu Wrote:  I'm trying this day game thing a bit more.

It's really not that difficult, is it??

When I was a kid, the term "Day game" had not been invented yet.

We used to say, "lets go talk to some girls"

I still look at it that way. I don't "day game".

I just talk to people.

(12-20-2013 06:04 PM)slubu Wrote:  This daygame shit is really fun.

Yes, few things are more fun than expanding your psycho-sexual power.

Remember the day I approached 11 girls in an hour? I have gone to a higher level. Next time you see me, I will approach 20 girls in an hour.

Post: #1136

You really get a solid barometer of your game level when you're out with guys that don't take this shit as seriously as we do. Maybe serious isn't the right word...but dedicated.

Was out with some friends and acquaintances last night, guys that love to hunt and fuck, but they've never read any literature or gotten into the methodology. When I start talking about theory and how to approach and talk to girls they look at me like I'm speaking a different language. They're machine gunners, not snipers. Anyway we were bar hopping in Ktown and the second venue we got to was amazing for eye candy but terrible for logistics. Like a Korean version of Jersey shore. Some of the most beautiful Korean girls I've ever seen absolutely surrounded by beefed up and incredibly well dressed Korean trust fund babies.

The place was a gigantic waste of time and I knew it the minute we walked in, but my friends were easily distracted. At one point one of them wanted to go talk to a couple really cute girls. They were flanked on either side by large groups and the entire venue had a vibe that everyone knew everyone and everyone was watching everyone. I looked over and knew it was a futile attempt but I humored him, so got up and told him to come with. He got a little anxious but told him to let me do the talking. Started talking to these girls and they didn't even speak a goddamn word of English. Total fobs. I motioned them over to our table to drink with us. They were nice about it but just shook their heads, I tried teasing them but it went nowhere. Just toasted to christmas and went back. My friend, pumped up on his excitement about us approaching, wanted to approach every girl in the room. It was entertaining to say the least. I just told him, "Go ahead, you never know!" To me, it seems obvious that it's a waste of time when you walk into a venue and see tons of hot Korean girls, and 100% of them are with a cutout carbon copy of the exact same guy. If you're not that guy, then you're not getting that girl. And lord have I tried.

On the other hand, when you go to spots in Ktown that have even the slightest influx of American culture; be it a coffee shop, or a gastropub, or even a place that plays American music instead of Kpop, your odds of scoring skyrocket. If you see Korean girls speaking English, or if they have white friends in their social group, or if they're drinking white wine or champagne instead of soju and Hite, then your odds skyrocket. My friends think I'm a genius for pointing these things out and I realize, so much of game is simply trial and error and just noticing patterns that lead to success. That's all it is. And yet that simple process is beyond so many guys.

Post: #1137

Over the last few months I've been implementing the following:
- Starting conversations with pretty much everyone
I used to hate small talk. I was raised to only talk when I have something useful to say. I still don't talk much in many situations if I have nothing to say but lately I've been starting conversations with pretty much everyone. Random people. Store clerks. Lines at the store. Anyone really. Even if it isn't hot girls.

What I've noticed is that it gets me in a great mood overall. Gets me feeling good and my attitude completely changes. I do this in case I do come across a girl I want to talk to. And I won't have that unapproachable/mean stare that I've been accused of having. Not because I mean to have it but because that's just how I am.

But that's not the only benefit, I've made a lot of acquaintances from doing this. In some cases I've seen these people at other random places and gone up to them just to say hi. It has allowed me to show I know a lot of people and demonstrate higher value when on a date, with a girl I'm talking to at a bar or with a group of people.

I got this from my best friend/wing, when I'm with him, it seems that he knows at least someone everywhere we go. I asked him how the hell he knew so many people. Pretty much what I describe above.

Post: #1138

(12-25-2013 09:07 PM)RX2 Wrote:  Over the last few months I've been implementing the following:
- Starting conversations with pretty much everyone
I used to hate small talk. I was raised to only talk when I have something useful to say. I still don't talk much in many situations if I have nothing to say but lately I've been starting conversations with pretty much everyone. Random people. Store clerks. Lines at the store. Anyone really. Even if it isn't hot girls.

What I've noticed is that it gets me in a great mood overall. Gets me feeling good and my attitude completely changes. I do this in case I do come across a girl I want to talk to. And I won't have that unapproachable/mean stare that I've been accused of having. Not because I mean to have it but because that's just how I am.

But that's not the only benefit, I've made a lot of acquaintances from doing this. In some cases I've seen these people at other random places and gone up to them just to say hi. It has allowed me to show I know a lot of people and demonstrate higher value when on a date, with a girl I'm talking to at a bar or with a group of people.

I got this from my best friend/wing, when I'm with him, it seems that he knows at least someone everywhere we go. I asked him how the hell he knew so many people. Pretty much what I describe above.

This. This right here. Canonical post.

My belief is that we feel approach anxiety not so much because of the prospect of being rejected, because deep down in our subconscious we know it isn't a big deal. It's happened routinely.

What we fear is the unknown. Everyone does. We don't know how the girl will respond to our approach, and that's the biggest aspect of the fear.

Talk to a lot of people- just everybody. Put yourself in more social situations and you start to discover patterns so that this fear of the unknown is dulled. Of course you still need to work yourself up to routinely approaching the girls you're attracted to, but you need to be a social person at any rate, particularly if your circumstances leave you somewhat isolated a significant portion of your time. It just makes the whole process easier.

Post: #1139

I'm back in Hawaii. I'm in Honolulu by myself for a few days then meeting family members in the Big Island tomorrow.

So I arrive yesterday (Christmas). Drop my stuff of at the hotel , throw some shorts on and walk to Waikiki beach. A cute Asian girl catches my eye. I make my way toward her and walk along side her for a bit, then I look over at her in an obvious way.

Me: hi
Her: (smiles) hi
We stop and talk
Me: where are you from?
Her: Japan. And you, from Hawaii?
(Her English was limited. I like Asians but not normally Japanese. She didn't look Japanese. She had good teeth. I thought she was really cute. 20s but sweet and innocent looking. Nice dimple when she smiled. Cute little body too. She waived her friend over who is more prototypical Japanese looking, w jacked up teeth).

Blah blah, talk some more .. When did you get here when do you leave.

Me: have you been going out?
Her: I don't understand
Me: ( I mime drinking and dancing. They laugh).
Her: crub? Crub?
Me: what's a crub? Oh, club yes!
Her: we don't know any.
Me: oh I was just here a few weeks ago. I know all the places. Do you want to go out?
Her: yes! When? How we get there. Blah blah.
Me: I'll meet you in your lobby at 8 tonight.
Her: ok. Yes . You with anyone? No. The three of us go?
Me: yes. Just the three of us.

Well I screwed up. After that I drive to the north shore. Got stuck in traffic on the way back and didn't get to their hotel until 8:45. They weren't there. Maybe I'll see them on the beach.

This morning I go for coffee. Two hot 20 something chicks waiting in line. Solid 8s. The one is studying the pastries.

Me: excuse me, do you know if they have good pastries here? (Classic Rooshonian opener).
Her: I tried a sample once and it seemed good.
Me: that's good. Hmmm. I bet you guys are from xyz?
Them: yes! Good guess.
Me: yeah I don't know how I knew . Subtle things I guess.
( turns out the one lives near me. Talked about what neighborhood etc).
Me: I'm moving to a different neighborhood soon. I just bought a condo before I left.
Her: oh really? ( blah blah, she asked a lot questions and we were ping ponging back and forth).
Her friend:hey, we need your order ( the cashier was standing there impatiently).
Her: oh sorry I need to..
Me: of course

Her and her friend started browsing around the shops while they were waiting for their drinks. I couldn't hover so I split. I would have gone for digits but tough with her friend there.

I'm thinking Hawaii is a good place to game broads.

Post: #1140

(12-26-2013 02:36 PM)Dusty Wrote:  I'm thinking Hawaii is a good place to game broads.

Not to kick sand on your fun in Hawaii, but:

Yes, but you still need to handle your logistics. When in this kind of situation and nobody has a cell phone, getting their room number means you could've called them (even from someone else's cell phone) and let them know you were running late.

The room number is very good to have in the first place because instead of meeting them in the lobby, you could go up to their room, greet them with a bottle to "pre-drink" and maybe you never even leave the room. Worst case you have two girls walk down with you to the lobby into a cab and then straight into the club.

Remember, women like men who take charge, but they are like little kids in the sense that you have to take care of the logistics or it'll never happen.

Post: #1141

(12-26-2013 07:17 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(12-26-2013 02:36 PM)Dusty Wrote:  I'm thinking Hawaii is a good place to game broads.

Not to kick sand on your fun in Hawaii, but:

Yes, but you still need to handle your logistics. When in this kind of situation and nobody has a cell phone, getting their room number means you could've called them (even from someone else's cell phone) and let them know you were running late.

The room number is very good to have in the first place because instead of meeting them in the lobby, you could go up to their room, greet them with a bottle to "pre-drink" and maybe you never even leave the room. Worst case you have two girls walk down with you to the lobby into a cab and then straight into the club.

Remember, women like men who take charge, but they are like little kids in the sense that you have to take care of the logistics or it'll never happen.

Excellent advice.

Do you think girls would cough up their room number to a stranger that quick?

Or I could have invited them to my room and made sure I was back in time .

Post: #1142

Met this chick down in Brazil. The approached turned into a pick up pizza date.
Haven't been able to get her back out since...

Me: Want to grab a drink when later on in the week?
Her: Yes of course haha
Her: Im so excited!
Her: Look at this, im like The Simpsons hahaha
Her: (img)
Her: Without makeup or something haha
Me: "Ththththeee Sssiiimmmppsssooonnnss"
Me: Haha! Como Saber Sexta-feira?
Me: How about Friday?
Her: Hmnm i really dont know but i want to go out
Me: Haha! Ok!
Her: Wat do will do?
Me: Nõs vai para Favela :O
Me: We go to the Favela!
Me: O que você pensa?
Her: Favela? Hahahhaha omg
Her: We gonna do wat there?
(The next day)
Me: Feed the homeless and less fortunate silly! Then we can drink the night away! Haha!
Me: Eí aí
Her: Okkk but i really prefer to stay um Copacabana

Fin?

Anyways, I've been trying to get her to come out the past week!
I always suggest be she won't throw me a firm answer and just keeps beating around the bush with a "what we gonna do" or "I don't know" hence why i said fuck it we gon go the favela!

From this point, seems like she's just playin' games and loving the attention.
I could careless From this point but I don't kind playing along to see where it goes ether >

I don't mind posting pics of the conversation since it's short.
Let me know what's good!

Post: #1143

(12-26-2013 07:23 PM)Dusty Wrote:  Excellent advice.

Do you think girls would cough up their room number to a stranger that quick?

Or I could have invited them to my room and made sure I was back in time .

Under other circumstances (like having cell phones), no. Under these circumstances though, I think it's likely.

(12-26-2013 07:57 PM)Xiztian Wrote:  Let me know what's good!

Your home country is listed as the US. It's incongruent that you're from the US and you want to go hang out in the favela (poorer area am I right?) to take her out for a drink and have fun. She may still interested, but doesn't want to go to that area.

She's also highly likely to flake since you have been continually trying to meet up with her but not actually setting any plans. You likely didn't get her attracted enough to you on the instadate. Maybe it was amazing, maybe you just got pizza and talked and it was so so, but you're american so it stood out to her. I'm thinking it's likely the latter.

Post: #1144

(12-26-2013 08:25 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(12-26-2013 07:57 PM)Xiztian Wrote:  Let me know what's good!

Your home country is listed as the US. It's incongruent that you're from the US and you want to go hang out in the favela (poorer area am I right?) to take her out for a drink and have fun. She may still interested, but doesn't want to go to that area.

She's also highly likely to flake since you have been continually trying to meet up with her but not actually setting any plans. You likely didn't get her attracted enough to you on the instadate. Maybe it was amazing, maybe you just got pizza and talked and it was so so, but you're american so it stood out to her. I'm thinking it's likely the latter.

Yeah Xiztian.... we need some context.. especially since it was your first post.. give some details about where you are at and a little more of the context.

Post: #1145

Earlier today - I went to a gay area to look at a coffee table from craigslist. I walk out of the complex and see a thin girl going down the sidewalk . Say hi and ask her how she's doing. She says good and keeps walking. I tell her to come talk to me and not to be rude. Comes closer and she's really cute. 5'4, pale white girl, dark black hair. I would say early 20s, maybe even younger.

Were just shooting the shit. Says she's from Alabama and has been here a year. She was very friendly and doing most of the talking. I caught her on her way to the store. Called herself a hippie and said she's pansexual also said she has 2 cats because she gets lonely sometimes lol. Made her show me her tattoos on her hips and back so I could touch on her. I poked her nose piercing and asked if it was fake and she goes nooooo. She said she used to have her tongue pierced and stuck her tongue out when I said show me. I probably should of started kissing her when she did that. I would of told her to show me her apartment up the street, but I didn't have any weed on me and really had to take a dump. Told me to hit her up if I was ever around and wanted to smoke before she hugged me to leave.

Oh yeah, I said something about her being pale and creamy looking. She said "isn't that the nasty thing when you fill up...". No that's a cream pie. "I just met you haha. We can't talk about that".

I can't tell if she was just a real friendly girl or was into me. She was standing close as hell to me the whole time but didn't rub on me or playfully hit me. I should of tried to kiss her! I don't think it was to bad for my first approach in 2 months I looked like I was robbing cars with an old ass hoody and 8 yr old baggy jeans. I'm surprised she came over.

Post: #1146

Gio do you wait a few days before texting? This girl likes getting fucked up so I want to strike before she forgets me.

Post: #1147

(12-26-2013 08:25 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(12-26-2013 07:57 PM)Xiztian Wrote:  Let me know what's good!

Your home country is listed as the US. It's incongruent that you're from the US and you want to go hang out in the favela (poorer area am I right?) to take her out for a drink and have fun. She may still interested, but doesn't want to go to that area.

She's also highly likely to flake since you have been continually trying to meet up with her but not actually setting any plans. You likely didn't get her attracted enough to you on the instadate. Maybe it was amazing, maybe you just got pizza and talked and it was so so, but you're american so it stood out to her. I'm thinking it's likely the latter.

Woah woah playuh! Calma! Calma!
Yeah the US is my homeland n I'm currently down in Brazil (Brazil, favela, Copacabana.. go figure!)

Anyways, I was just playin' around with the whole "favela" part! Guess y'all didn't get the joke :/

And yeah I keep pushin' for some kind of meet up since I guess that would be the next best course of action??

N yeah it's likely the latter cause seriously she did most of the chatter n I was quite dead beat!

Like I said, it's probably lost and at this point she's probably just enjoying the attention and playin' games... but HEY what do I have to lose? I guess I'll try persistence and just play along too??

Why not juggle a few bitches???

(12-26-2013 08:35 PM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  Yeah Xiztian.... we need some context.. especially since it was your first post.. give some details about where you are at and a little more of the context.

Yo!

So I just updated my info.
Currently in Brazil and planning on staying here for a few months (meet up anyone? Ahah!)

Met the chick down in Ipanema, she seemed pretty cool and we ended up having lunch before I walked her to the bus stop.

Been trying to get her to come out ever since (about a week from today)

Kind of getting bored with the whole thing so I decided to see what y'all have to say?

Will definitely appreciate the help n support.

PS I posted this in the wrong thread (FUCK!). Can someone move it or should I just repost it there (on the text support thread)?

Post: #1148

(12-26-2013 09:02 PM)houston Wrote:  Gio do you wait a few days before texting?

No. I usually text same day. Often within 15-30 minutes. I like to basically continue the conversation while highlighting the jokes we laughed about and our shared interests.

If I don't do that, I usually text the next day.

Based on your story, I would have texted her same day. Maybe you could have "insta-dated" her or got her to hang out later that night.

Momentum is big. When you got it, ride it as far as you can.

Post: #1149

(12-26-2013 10:41 PM)Xiztian Wrote:  Kind of getting bored with the whole thing so I decided to see what y'all have to say?

Will definitely appreciate the help n support.

PS I posted this in the wrong thread (FUCK!). Can someone move it or should I just repost it there (on the text support thread)?

Xiztian:

Since you are new to RVF, probably it is good to let guys get to know you a little bit before joking too much. Just a thought.

Guys here seem to be more than willing to help new guys, especially if the new guy also provides information and context and even information that guys here have NOT seen in other places.

Most of us really are NOT that interested in sexual exploitations of the new guys, even if those exploitations may be true, but more interested in about how you got there and the learning process - especially on the approach thread would specialize in figuring out how to better approach girls or what may have gone wrong in an approach.

Certainly, there are guys participating in this thread that have quite a bit of experience with approaching (more than me).. and i read to get those kinds of tips or to possibly apply some of the creative tactics when I am in a similar situation.

After you are on RVF for a while, then guys may become more interested in the exploitation results that you obtained after an approach or at least if you describe the exploitation in a context of how the approach played out, then we will see how you got from point A to point B.

Sometimes postings are NOT exactly on the correct thread, and try your best to find a thread that best fits the subject that you are seeking feedback.

Finally, if guys on RVF think that you are just "playing us," then that would be a pretty rapid (express route) way to get banned. Hopefully my response helps.

Post: #1150

Damn I fell asleep right after I posted that and didn't see your post Gio. Lets see if I can get something going today.