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The Approach Thread
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BetaNoMore Offline
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Post: #3151
RE: The Approach Thread
(02-26-2017 09:53 AM)ksbms Wrote:  
(02-26-2017 04:54 AM)BetaNoMore Wrote:  a few approaches over the past 2 days:

Approach 1: Powerlifting girl who lifts in the gym area of my BJJ gym. Hard to put a ranking on her because she's kind of short and thicker but not over the top. 5.5/10 but definitely overvalued because a lot of the guys are all over her.

It wasn't really a real approach. Super indirect. I've scoped her out on her instagram and she has a ton of huge powerlifting orbiters. I kind of know one of the guys that belongs to her powerlifting gym so here's how it went:

Me: *I was walking to my car she was at her car* Hey

Her: "hi"

Me: *walked towards her* Hey you train at _____ gym as well too right? Do you know _______ ?

Convo wasn't eventful. Just under 5 min talking about her training. I related back and said i did some powerlifting as well in the past a long time ago. She didn't really ask me any questions about myself. It was more of a "friendly" convo than anything. Exchanged names. Said I'd see her around.

Good work, puts you in a mood and disinhibits for future interactions. Practice makes perfect.

-------------------------

Approach 2: 6.5-7/10 (maybe higher if done up) 5'10" brunette probably in her early to mid 20s. I was downtown waiting for a friend. She walked by. I wasn't going to puss out. Walked to her side and came at an angle.

Me: "excuse me, I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi"

Her: "oh hey I'm ______."

Me: "i'm betanomore" we shook hands.

Me: "what are you up to?"

Her: "going to ______ (a club)

Me: "Oh you didn't strike me as a girl who clubs a lot."

Nice assumption. Perhaps could've stacked and expand and tease. "[...] clubs a lot... I wouldn't be surprised if you're a librarian. The only thing you miss are those big glasses and an oversized jumper."

- I've become very calm with my approaches now. I have a calm speaking voice, and I think my approaches are super confident. In this convo, I'm not sure if it was because of a lack of connection or me not being able to steer the convo to something fun, but there was nothing.

Don't become too confident because it may across too mechanistic, therefore it will look like you're doing it for the living and girls don't want to think they are one of the many. They want to feel like they are the 'one' tard. It's good that you progressed so much you really are confident and not anxious about pure cold approach, but it's useufl to actually fake a touch of nervousness, if that's the case.


----------------

Approach 3: 6.5/10 white brunette early 20s. Definitely less than 6.5 without makeup. Walked by the starbucks I just left.

me: "excuse me...." a bit of a pause "I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi"

You sell yourself short with this approach. Offer some value. Uttering this opener doesn't let you run with much else. How about: "Excuse me... I want to tell you something... See, I saw you walk past Starbucks and what struck me is you looked cool but in a weird sense. It is so because of your shoes. They don't match your outfit one bit.

I recommend practising situational openers - post yourself somewhere, be it museum, big supermarket, or busy street, and spend there 30 minutes looking at girls and think how you'd open them, relying mostly on either what they wear, their nationality, or something specific to them. Then, in your mind, create an elaborate assumption stack.

It's an excellent thing to do. No actor performs on stage without rehearsing his role. Same here - it will make it so much easier to any aspiring daygamer to do so, instead of only throwing himself out there with a fixed, boring, and taking value opener. Guess what, if you approach the girl, almost by definition she's cute. She knows that and you immediately get boxed like every other guy. The only exception is, if by coincidence, you fit her ideal or are generically very handsome - but this is not game, it's just getting laid.
[\b]
---------------

[b]Approach 4:
6.5-7/10 cute dirty blonde chick mid 20s.

I was at a brewery/bar with my friend. I ran into a friend of a friend and his gf. The 4 of us were chatting. I saw this girl sitting alone because her 2 friends went to get drinks. I walked over without saying anything to my group.

Me: "hey excuse me. This is kind of random but since you friends left you, I thought I'd say hi"

Her: *welcoming* "oh hey! I'm taylor what's your name?"

Me: "betanomore" we shook hands

Did you try to keep her hand in yours? You can read lots of information from that. Do you remember if her hand was soft or stiff, did she fully grasp yours, did she pull her hand out first, how long did you keep her hand in yours, did she keep eye-contact when shaking her hand? Many people look down. There's a wealth of information within this short period of time.

I strive to hold a girl's hand in mine 5 seconds or more (I think it would become weird over 20 seconds) whilst intently looking in girl's eyes. It shows confidence, shows you're comfortable with touching and it's the very first physical escalation move on the road to controlling her body. I think it's tremendously underrated whereas it's such an easy power move within the first few minutes of initial interaction.


I asked her what she was up to and she said her friends just went and got beers and they were having drinks or something. Just some small talk. I'm pretty sure I asked the lame question of whether or not they come here often (LOL) and we both had been there twice. I told her what my plan was with my buddy.

It wasn't a fun convo but she was welcoming, playing with her hair and smiling. I don't believe I got her to laugh at all though.

In the end, I asked for her number: "Hey, you think I could get your number and I'll contact you and see what happens."

That's excellent, shows you have balls and project zero fuck given attitude. When guys read it, it seems easy to do but actually doing it - it's a whole different world, because you put your self-esteem on the line.

However, I think it's generally a mistake to ask for a number. You don't make a girl commit to anything but giving you a number. What is more important, is to commit a girl to a date. A number is a consequence of this. Better:

- Hey, would you like to get a coffee/tea/drinks with me?
- Maybe (this means, in girlspeak 'yes')
- Nice. Let me take your number.

I know nothing will come about because I've done enough approaches to know when a girl is not interested. She did the classic slight hesitation before saying yes. This in my experience is almost always a no.

This will start to change, so don't rely on your priors in respect of your future interactions. I doubt you've made >1000 approaches? Even if you did, I'd still question whether it is possible to really know when a girls is interested or not. Sometimes weak interactions lead to a strong date and vice-versa. It's a dynamically changing environment. She might be superexcited about your confident approach, but in the evening she will be over it. She might be shy and fell timid, yet being single decide to get out on a date. The moment of truth is when you message them a feeler. If you get a reply, means that your day game has done the job and you're in text game stage aiming for a date game stage. Always push, when daygaming, as far as you can. Probe logistics, perhas idate and SDL is on the table? Also, having more numbers boosts your abundance state, when you decide to text a feeler to six potential leads instead of two.

------------------

Some odds and ends

I've really strengthened my resolve over the past year but at times it gets to me. We went to 2 breweries tonight and all I saw were pathetic hipster white guys who had no essence of masculinity, who were probably 5'10" 145lbs have cute/good looking girlfriends just because they're white. Even many Asian chicks in this city exalt the white man. I saw a cute Asian chick today at one of the breweries on a date with the most pathetic looking guy and of course, he's white.

That doesn't mean it's all rosy. What happens behind close doors, it's rarely a very happy couple. It is what it is. The concept, for example, of justice as fairness is an epistemic one, not ontological. That means, it's an artificially created, and agreed among humans ideal of treating each other in some relevant respects (everyone, at least in principle, being equal before the law, right to equal pay, etc.). Yet, in the raw world of natural environment, due to selection pressures, the lottery makes some winners, some losers. Unjust, as it is, not that much can be done about it. However, it's still so much better than during medieval times where, for example, social mobility where almost non-existent, and interracial relationships strictly prohibited. You were born poor, you stayed poor, you were born rich, you stayed, rich. All in all, if you put some decent work in, you'll get results.


I know that I'm better than these guys. They're not better looking, their physiques suck, and they're beta cucks but I'm working uphill because I'm asian. I'd say I'm 65% at peace with it and laugh at how absurd this all is and 35% bitter.

Most white guys don't have it easy. For example, I still haven't banged a girl this year which puts into question my giving advice out...

I need to rise above this bitterness. The more I give into it, the more I harm myself and the worse progress I'll have with gaming and actually get some chicks. I NEED to maintain and positive attitude, do the best that I can, keep improving and hope that fortune meets me at least 1/4 of the way. There's no other option. Well there is, but I don't want to become that bitter, angry incel that curses the world because I'm better than that.

Agreed. Good attitude, work on that, and you'll build the right frame that will bear the fruit. You're half way there. Ultimately, it's not notches. It's living in accordance with your choices.

Hey man,

I really appreciate all the responses you've been given over the past little while. It's really helped me out.

- I will look up how to provide more value with openers. Don't have a lot of time to study game right now but I figure approaching is better than nothing for the time being.

- I forgot to hold her hand longer. I keep forgetting to do this. How do you typically shake a girl's hand? I have a firm handshake but I don't use it with girls because I don't want the interaction to have a business vibe. I usually hold in a "hand of god" manner with my palm up, my fingers will be under their fingers. I presume this is good?

- I will try to get her to commit to a date in future interactions. I'm thinking something like "hey I like the energy we got going on here. Would you like to grab a drink later this week?" Bitches love that talk about "energy"

- re: texting. My text game is weak. From what I understand, you generally want to keep texting to logistics but I see the value in giving a feeler out before going for the kill to spike some positive emotions that will make her less likely to flake if she's on the fence. How do you recommend going about sending feelers?

I'm thinking of trying what I've done previously "hey how adventurous are you?" and "hey are you familiar with the OCEAN personality traits?" and then exchange a few texts about openness and ask her how open she is (she'll probably say she is open if she wants to continue the convo) and then segue that into "let's meet up for some drinks" or something to that effect.
02-26-2017 01:26 PM
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Chubby Chaser
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Post: #3152
RE: The Approach Thread
I was in St. Louis this past weekend for Mardi Gras. Excellent opportunity for me to get a lot of practice with my day and night game (both lacking).

We were staying at the Hilton downtown, and the whole area had a 'party buzz' about it for Mardi Gras. Friday night, I didn't have much luck but my friends got a couple of numbers.

Saturday morning we hit the buffet at a nearby casino for breakfast. I decided to get a waffle (you have to wait for them to make it) and I noticed a brunette with a nice body waiting for one. I asked her if she was going to the parade that day and she said she was not, as she tries to avoid the festivities. She was older but cute and I noticed her accent. She was from Bosnia and came over here to the US after the war (early 90's). Unfortunately I didn't get much more time to talk to her as her waffle was done (heh). I did not ask for her number but I took the interaction as a positive and would use it to build on for the rest of the day.

So we get to Soulard Street and the place is packed. It was pretty cold (low 40's) so I think that had an effect on females being more open flashing their boobs. Most of my approaches were on drunk girls (usually easy targets) but strike out after strike out. One of our buddies managed to sneak into the Bud Light tent so he told us how he did it and we followed suit. We got in the tent (free booze, free food, heated, $100 ticket to get in). Talked to a bunch of other girls and we managed to get a group of 5 to come back to our hotel. The one I was gaming was probably about a 5 (we were highly intoxicated at this point) and heavy kino...she was grabbing my arm and telling me I was 'so adorable'. I'm thinking I'm going to get laid that night and then she tells me she has a fiancé back in Chicago. I'm like "ok, that's nice". But that wall just wasn't going to be broken down. She refused to kiss me multiple times. Finally I just told her I wasn't going to waste my time with her. I could tell she wanted to fuck, as she was saying shit like "if I wasn't engaged we would have hot sex and it would be so good" blah, blah. But I was too drunk and didn't have the energy to put in all that work on a 5. My friend did fuck one of her friends in the room though as the rest of us went back to the bar.

All in all it was a fun trip. I was hoping to get Notch #40 there but it wasn't in the cards. Just have to learn from experience and build on it.

"Once you've gotten the lay you have won."- Mufasa

Fortune Favors the Bold
02-27-2017 10:07 AM
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ksbms Offline
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Posts: 640
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Post: #3153
RE: The Approach Thread
(02-26-2017 01:26 PM)BetaNoMore Wrote:  
(02-26-2017 09:53 AM)ksbms Wrote:  
(02-26-2017 04:54 AM)BetaNoMore Wrote:  a few approaches over the past 2 days:

Approach 1: Powerlifting girl who lifts in the gym area of my BJJ gym. Hard to put a ranking on her because she's kind of short and thicker but not over the top. 5.5/10 but definitely overvalued because a lot of the guys are all over her.

It wasn't really a real approach. Super indirect. I've scoped her out on her instagram and she has a ton of huge powerlifting orbiters. I kind of know one of the guys that belongs to her powerlifting gym so here's how it went:

Me: *I was walking to my car she was at her car* Hey

Her: "hi"

Me: *walked towards her* Hey you train at _____ gym as well too right? Do you know _______ ?

Convo wasn't eventful. Just under 5 min talking about her training. I related back and said i did some powerlifting as well in the past a long time ago. She didn't really ask me any questions about myself. It was more of a "friendly" convo than anything. Exchanged names. Said I'd see her around.

Good work, puts you in a mood and disinhibits for future interactions. Practice makes perfect.

-------------------------

Approach 2: 6.5-7/10 (maybe higher if done up) 5'10" brunette probably in her early to mid 20s. I was downtown waiting for a friend. She walked by. I wasn't going to puss out. Walked to her side and came at an angle.

Me: "excuse me, I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi"

Her: "oh hey I'm ______."

Me: "i'm betanomore" we shook hands.

Me: "what are you up to?"

Her: "going to ______ (a club)

Me: "Oh you didn't strike me as a girl who clubs a lot."

Nice assumption. Perhaps could've stacked and expand and tease. "[...] clubs a lot... I wouldn't be surprised if you're a librarian. The only thing you miss are those big glasses and an oversized jumper."

- I've become very calm with my approaches now. I have a calm speaking voice, and I think my approaches are super confident. In this convo, I'm not sure if it was because of a lack of connection or me not being able to steer the convo to something fun, but there was nothing.

Don't become too confident because it may across too mechanistic, therefore it will look like you're doing it for the living and girls don't want to think they are one of the many. They want to feel like they are the 'one' tard. It's good that you progressed so much you really are confident and not anxious about pure cold approach, but it's useufl to actually fake a touch of nervousness, if that's the case.


----------------

Approach 3: 6.5/10 white brunette early 20s. Definitely less than 6.5 without makeup. Walked by the starbucks I just left.

me: "excuse me...." a bit of a pause "I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi"

You sell yourself short with this approach. Offer some value. Uttering this opener doesn't let you run with much else. How about: "Excuse me... I want to tell you something... See, I saw you walk past Starbucks and what struck me is you looked cool but in a weird sense. It is so because of your shoes. They don't match your outfit one bit.

I recommend practising situational openers - post yourself somewhere, be it museum, big supermarket, or busy street, and spend there 30 minutes looking at girls and think how you'd open them, relying mostly on either what they wear, their nationality, or something specific to them. Then, in your mind, create an elaborate assumption stack.

It's an excellent thing to do. No actor performs on stage without rehearsing his role. Same here - it will make it so much easier to any aspiring daygamer to do so, instead of only throwing himself out there with a fixed, boring, and taking value opener. Guess what, if you approach the girl, almost by definition she's cute. She knows that and you immediately get boxed like every other guy. The only exception is, if by coincidence, you fit her ideal or are generically very handsome - but this is not game, it's just getting laid.
[\b]
---------------

[b]Approach 4:
6.5-7/10 cute dirty blonde chick mid 20s.

I was at a brewery/bar with my friend. I ran into a friend of a friend and his gf. The 4 of us were chatting. I saw this girl sitting alone because her 2 friends went to get drinks. I walked over without saying anything to my group.

Me: "hey excuse me. This is kind of random but since you friends left you, I thought I'd say hi"

Her: *welcoming* "oh hey! I'm taylor what's your name?"

Me: "betanomore" we shook hands

Did you try to keep her hand in yours? You can read lots of information from that. Do you remember if her hand was soft or stiff, did she fully grasp yours, did she pull her hand out first, how long did you keep her hand in yours, did she keep eye-contact when shaking her hand? Many people look down. There's a wealth of information within this short period of time.

I strive to hold a girl's hand in mine 5 seconds or more (I think it would become weird over 20 seconds) whilst intently looking in girl's eyes. It shows confidence, shows you're comfortable with touching and it's the very first physical escalation move on the road to controlling her body. I think it's tremendously underrated whereas it's such an easy power move within the first few minutes of initial interaction.


I asked her what she was up to and she said her friends just went and got beers and they were having drinks or something. Just some small talk. I'm pretty sure I asked the lame question of whether or not they come here often (LOL) and we both had been there twice. I told her what my plan was with my buddy.

It wasn't a fun convo but she was welcoming, playing with her hair and smiling. I don't believe I got her to laugh at all though.

In the end, I asked for her number: "Hey, you think I could get your number and I'll contact you and see what happens."

That's excellent, shows you have balls and project zero fuck given attitude. When guys read it, it seems easy to do but actually doing it - it's a whole different world, because you put your self-esteem on the line.

However, I think it's generally a mistake to ask for a number. You don't make a girl commit to anything but giving you a number. What is more important, is to commit a girl to a date. A number is a consequence of this. Better:

- Hey, would you like to get a coffee/tea/drinks with me?
- Maybe (this means, in girlspeak 'yes')
- Nice. Let me take your number.

I know nothing will come about because I've done enough approaches to know when a girl is not interested. She did the classic slight hesitation before saying yes. This in my experience is almost always a no.

This will start to change, so don't rely on your priors in respect of your future interactions. I doubt you've made >1000 approaches? Even if you did, I'd still question whether it is possible to really know when a girls is interested or not. Sometimes weak interactions lead to a strong date and vice-versa. It's a dynamically changing environment. She might be superexcited about your confident approach, but in the evening she will be over it. She might be shy and fell timid, yet being single decide to get out on a date. The moment of truth is when you message them a feeler. If you get a reply, means that your day game has done the job and you're in text game stage aiming for a date game stage. Always push, when daygaming, as far as you can. Probe logistics, perhas idate and SDL is on the table? Also, having more numbers boosts your abundance state, when you decide to text a feeler to six potential leads instead of two.

------------------

Some odds and ends

I've really strengthened my resolve over the past year but at times it gets to me. We went to 2 breweries tonight and all I saw were pathetic hipster white guys who had no essence of masculinity, who were probably 5'10" 145lbs have cute/good looking girlfriends just because they're white. Even many Asian chicks in this city exalt the white man. I saw a cute Asian chick today at one of the breweries on a date with the most pathetic looking guy and of course, he's white.

That doesn't mean it's all rosy. What happens behind close doors, it's rarely a very happy couple. It is what it is. The concept, for example, of justice as fairness is an epistemic one, not ontological. That means, it's an artificially created, and agreed among humans ideal of treating each other in some relevant respects (everyone, at least in principle, being equal before the law, right to equal pay, etc.). Yet, in the raw world of natural environment, due to selection pressures, the lottery makes some winners, some losers. Unjust, as it is, not that much can be done about it. However, it's still so much better than during medieval times where, for example, social mobility where almost non-existent, and interracial relationships strictly prohibited. You were born poor, you stayed poor, you were born rich, you stayed, rich. All in all, if you put some decent work in, you'll get results.


I know that I'm better than these guys. They're not better looking, their physiques suck, and they're beta cucks but I'm working uphill because I'm asian. I'd say I'm 65% at peace with it and laugh at how absurd this all is and 35% bitter.

Most white guys don't have it easy. For example, I still haven't banged a girl this year which puts into question my giving advice out...

I need to rise above this bitterness. The more I give into it, the more I harm myself and the worse progress I'll have with gaming and actually get some chicks. I NEED to maintain and positive attitude, do the best that I can, keep improving and hope that fortune meets me at least 1/4 of the way. There's no other option. Well there is, but I don't want to become that bitter, angry incel that curses the world because I'm better than that.

Agreed. Good attitude, work on that, and you'll build the right frame that will bear the fruit. You're half way there. Ultimately, it's not notches. It's living in accordance with your choices.

Hey man,

I really appreciate all the responses you've been given over the past little while. It's really helped me out.

- I will look up how to provide more value with openers. Don't have a lot of time to study game right now but I figure approaching is better than nothing for the time being.

- I forgot to hold her hand longer. I keep forgetting to do this. How do you typically shake a girl's hand? I have a firm handshake but I don't use it with girls because I don't want the interaction to have a business vibe. I usually hold in a "hand of god" manner with my palm up, my fingers will be under their fingers. I presume this is good?

No. Palm down is a submissive hand shake. Watch some Trump's handshakes.


- I will try to get her to commit to a date in future interactions. I'm thinking something like "hey I like the energy we got going on here. Would you like to grab a drink later this week?" Bitches love that talk about "energy"

- re: texting. My text game is weak. From what I understand, you generally want to keep texting to logistics but I see the value in giving a feeler out before going for the kill to spike some positive emotions that will make her less likely to flake if she's on the fence. How do you recommend going about sending feelers?

You should do more than just pure logistics. A girl will get messages from a number o guys, so you need to keep you in her mind. A few texts a day are good, at least one late evening before she goes to bed so you'll linger in her mind. Krauser in his Daygame Mastery has an extensive, in-depth chapter about text game. It was na eye opener for me (on his blog he gives plenty info about text game, too). Recommended.


I'm thinking of trying what I've done previously "hey how adventurous are you?" and "hey are you familiar with the OCEAN personality traits?" and then exchange a few texts about openness and ask her how open she is (she'll probably say she is open if she wants to continue the convo) and then segue that into "let's meet up for some drinks" or something to that effect.

Don't rigidly structure you texts before actually texting them - chances are, the conversation will unfold in unexpected direction, make it organic but always, always keep the eyes on the prize, that is, at this stage, setting up a date. And always protect the frame. Girls, surprisingly, can derail things over texts easily and test you so to weed out weak, needy men. Text game is an integral part of game on the whole. Exception being a full-on yes girl - then you don't need text game, you just hop on a Shinkansen train and enjoy the ride towards the date.

I don’t ever give up. I mean, I’d have to be dead or completely incapacitated.

-- Elon Musk

Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth.

-- Mike Tyson

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity’s sunrise.


-- William Blake
(This post was last modified: 02-28-2017 08:12 AM by ksbms.)
02-28-2017 08:10 AM
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BetaNoMore
ksbms Offline
Wingman
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Posts: 640
Joined: Oct 2013
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Post: #3154
RE: The Approach Thread
Beautiful weather today, thus time for some street hustling. Will report my adventures soon, so stay tuned Banana

I don’t ever give up. I mean, I’d have to be dead or completely incapacitated.

-- Elon Musk

Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth.

-- Mike Tyson

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity’s sunrise.


-- William Blake
02-28-2017 08:28 AM
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BetaNoMore Offline
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Posts: 229
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Post: #3155
RE: The Approach Thread
The 6.5-7/10 at the bar did not reply. Not unexpected because I have a good feeling of when a girl is just giving out the number so you go away. The hesitation is a dead give away.

A few approaches today. Did not feel like doing them but I had work to do so I forced myself out to the city to a coffee shop to get the work done and do some approaches. I'm going to be approaching regardless of how motivated I feel for the next 2 years.

Approach 1: Early 20s. Blonde chick. Fit. 8/10. Lululemon tights, tons of makeup, blond highlights. The typical cardboard cut out. We were beside each other at the gas station.

Me: "hey excuse me! I thought you were cute and since we're beside each other, I thought I'd say hi!"

Her: she smiled and was polite. Said hi back.

I asked her what she was up to and she said school. She told me she was going to university. I went to the same one but did not say that. In retrospect I should have. She asked me what I do and I said "Guess." I will stop doing this from now on. It has never worked. These chicks aren't invested at all from a cold approach and guessing makes it awkward. I eventually told her what I did by giving her a clue about something I have in my car. When I do this, girls usually guess a really prestigious occupation but then it's almost like they get disappointed when I'm not one. I then said something self-depreciating about my car. Won't be doing this ever again.

The convo kind of fizzled out and we said bye. I have a strong feeling that unless my game gets ungodly, this typical cardboard cut out "hot" white chicks won't be into me. I've never really had any of these types into me. I'll keep approaching some but at this point, I may be best served to go for other types of chicks.

Perceived connection: 1.5/5

Convo fun/flirty factor: 1/5

-------------------------

Approach 2: 5/10 white chick who looks like the typical SJW/Feminist that plagues the vast portion of my city. This approach was a mistake. I saw her from the side and thought she looked okay but then she had some greying roots and looked like she was late 30s.

Me: "excuse me, I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi"

Her: *looks around* "am i being pranked?"

Me: *laughs and looks around* "are there cameras? am *I* being pranked?"

Her: "how often have you done this this week?"

Me: "hmmmm 67 times."

Her: "ha! I thought so!"

Me: "does this happen a lot?"

Her: "no not at all but..."

Me: "ya, I like meeting women in person... the other option is tinder?"

She then told me that she on tinder herself and is getting a lot of dates. Said that it's how a lot of girls get dates now (ugh).

We actually had a decently lengthy convo but I'm pretty sure I offended her when she told me that she's currently jobless and I said: "now tell me, do you go out with guys so they buy you dinner?"

Being a SJW feminist, she said with a slightly offended tone: "what? do you think women do stuff like that?" I back tracked and laughingly said: "oh no, it was a joke."

She said something about volunteering and I said I deal with the similar population that she does. She asked me what I do and I made another mistake of making her guess and she guessed the high prestige job again. Definitely need to stop this.

The convo lasted about 5 min and I said: "hey I need to go... hmmmm I'm on the fence about wanting this convo to continue at some point.. I'm not thinking that our energies match." She said ya she doesn't think so but thinks i'm really "brave" for going out like that and to keep trying. I don't think she said it with malice but it's bewilders me that going up to someone in person to meet them is "weird" but getting an endless supply of phallus online is now "normal." This brings me to another point that I will touch on below.

Connection: 2/5

Convo fun/flirty factor: 2/5 only because it flowed relatively well.


----------------

Approach 3: Crosswalk. 6.5-7/10 white chick. Looked normal but dressed relatively well.

Not much to report here. Stopped her with low energy said she was cute. She said she's in a relationship.


------------------

Approach 4: Saw a cute blond chick, mid 20s, 7-7.5/10 walk into a large store off the street. Came up behind her and startled her. Same opener of thinking she was cute. I have a disarming smile so she was nice but she said she's just meeting her bf.

----------------

Approach 5: 6/10 tallish chick. Brunette. Mid to late 20s. Looked normal. A bit on the thicker side. I was getting into my car but closed the door to flag her down on the sidewalk

Me: "excuse me, I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you."

she paused for a sec. I smiled and said: "ya, it's random but hey" She was disarmed.

She said she's from ireland and I said there's a lot of them around here. Same thing I say to all visiting people here on visas: "so you're not one of those that stays 8 to an appartment right?"

She then said no, it's only the two of them and it's her bf. I said oh that's cool and nice to meet you. She was nice about it.

Notes:

- going in with high energy certainly doesn't guarantee a positive outcome but going in with low energy will definitely guarantee you a negative outcome. I have to seem like I'm having the time of my life. This doesn't mean I'm coming in all uncalibrated and hyperactive. But I need to give off the sense that I love life and I'm someone who has and can provide value.


---------------

Odds and ends:

It's been officially 14 months and a few days since I've had sex and it's driving me nuts. For the first time since I started gaming again, I've had a serious case of approach anxiety. Not sure if it's because I started fapping to porn again or if it's because of the following: I met up with a really good dude with whom I kind of gamed with about 5 years ago. He got really good about 4 years ago and is kind of well known around the small pua community in my city. The guy has done some really crazy stuff.

After meeting him again for coffee to catch up, I was slightly deflated because of the truths he dished out. He did say game is harder because he's better now but has the same results as he did a few years back. He's a night game guy but he basically confirmed what we know here at RVF: that tinder is huge now and having an exciting social media profile is almost a must. He said that a lot of girls find it way more socially acceptable to just bang hot, exciting dudes off of tinder whenever they need sex vs. meeting people in real life. Granted, his sample size is a bit skewed because he only night games but he does date and sleep with "regular" chicks.

As I mentioned previously, just under 2 years ago after I broke it off with my LTR, I was doing pretty okay on tinder getting about 2 dates every week or so. I've got better pics now and have been on tinder for a few weeks and haven't been able to meet up with 1 chick! This slump is making me question if there's some intangible that's wrong with me.

Nonetheless, I'm going to keep pushing forward. I don't care if I feel like crap or if I feel that I can't get good at game. I'm going to keep approaching weekly and once my schedule frees up, I'll be studying game stuff like mad.

I'll also be subletting something in the downtown area in the summer months. A lot of university students tend to go back home for the summer so hopefully I can get something for cheapish. The buddy I met up with stressed the importance of 1. getting the hell out of my dry spell and 2. the absolute necessity of getting my logistics squared away. He said logistics are basically 99% of the battle.

- Maybe at some point I should be at peace with the fact that unless I start going on the sauce to get super jacked and getting tats to look like a bad boy, these cardboard white chicks likely won't go for me. It's not really a defeatist attitude because at some point, I should stop ramming my head into a brick wall and look for options that are more likely to be receptive.
- Keep pushing forward
- Try to remain positive even the situation isn't great
- Remember that there are people way worse than me and I'm certainly in a position to improve
- Pussy isn't the end all be all. Ya, these loser white guys who have a higher SMV than me simply because they're white have a cute gfs but it doesn't mean they're doing great. They could be walking on egg shells or getting walked all over. They're probably not even getting that much sex.
- And the biggest one: focus on what I can control and let go of everything else.

Have a crazy schedule for the whole week so won't be able to game until the weekend.
(This post was last modified: 03-01-2017 01:31 AM by BetaNoMore.)
03-01-2017 01:28 AM
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ksbms Offline
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Post: #3156
RE: The Approach Thread
(02-28-2017 08:28 AM)ksbms Wrote:  Beautiful weather today, thus time for some street hustling. Will report my adventures soon, so stay tuned Banana

And street hustling it wasn't because there were no sets. Or rather, I failed to ignite on one occasion . See, the problem with the capital is it's so small I actually bump into girls I approached in the past. I ignore them, and they ignore me. What is laughable, those are the ones who told me they had boyfriends, and then I see them on Tinder in full swing! Tinder kills the guys' game. Why should an approached offline girl bother to go on a date with a confident guy, albeit not as handsome as the 10 other guys she has ready to bang her whenever she wants?

Day game in the capital of Scotland is a time sink, and any viable set precious because it may be another 1 hour (yes, that much time) before a marginally attractive girl appears within the perimeter of my vision. This creates a tension to make a perfect approach. It's unlike say, London, or New York, or Moscow, where down time is short and you don't sweat an approach because you know that in next 5 minutes there'll be another 8 for the taking. Today, I didn't even see one 8 (by herself, in a group, with a partner, you name it - just not a single 8, even though the weather was perfect).

I was an afternoon, strolled around the Scott Monument, then clocked a girl sitting on a bench, facing a garden, and the castle further away. There were some birds, took some pics, she didn't look that hot but hey, there was nothing else, she was static, let's get some practice. Girl was a 6, I'd say, she was French and I liked her funky yellow tights. Opened, for fun indirectly asking if she was here to do bird watching. Basically, concocted a story I was into bird watching. Had a conversation, she seemed curios as asked me where I was from, what I was doing in the city, your general chit-chat. Her logistics were terrible, was visiting her sister who is a student here and waiting for her finishing classes. Ejected.

More than an hour later got into Tesco store, and clocked a brunette, a solid 7. Nice but not that pretty face, though excellent body - bubbly, little ass, long legs. She actually looked at me, and got into the same isle a few minutes later, though some 10 feet away so wasn't sure if it was a proximity invitation, but there were a few people next to her and thought would wait a couple minutes when it clears up around her. Bad move. As I looked at the shelves and grabbed ground Lavazza coffee, she disappeared and I saw her a minute later at a check-out (note to self - a girl without a basket is going to rather make a quick stop for a few items and leave a store soon), followed, paid for my coffee and decided to approach on the street. Too bad, it transpired I saw her just 50 meters down the street, where she was opening the entry door. Ah well. I frequent the store so there's a decent chance to reapproach but was kicking myself for not making my move.

Then, was having an appointment with a few minutes to kill prior, thus was standing outside the building, playing with my phone. What happens? A a near-miss 19 year old walks past me and says 'Hey, how are you?' with a full smile on. After that I decided to call it a day dg-wise.

I don’t ever give up. I mean, I’d have to be dead or completely incapacitated.

-- Elon Musk

Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth.

-- Mike Tyson

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity’s sunrise.


-- William Blake
(This post was last modified: 03-01-2017 06:33 PM by ksbms.)
03-01-2017 06:25 PM
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ksbms Offline
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Post: #3157
RE: The Approach Thread
(03-01-2017 01:28 AM)BetaNoMore Wrote:  We actually had a decently lengthy convo but I'm pretty sure I offended her when she told me that she's currently jobless and I said: "now tell me, do you go out with guys so they buy you dinner?"

Being a SJW feminist, she said with a slightly offended tone: "what? do you think women do stuff like that?" I back tracked and laughingly said: "oh no, it was a joke."

Bro, this could've been an excellent push and qualification in one and she retorted with a test that you failed miserably. You should've held your ground and do the only right thing, that is to say in a low voice with a gentle smirk 'absolutely'. Then, look intently into her eyes to hear her response. If she would keep wit her schtick, then eject but there was a chance, had you kept your frame, she would've given you her number. Attraction is created in a push - it would've shown your confidence, integrity (of your words and thoughts) and boundaries. It was there where you lost.


Notes:

- going in with high energy certainly doesn't guarantee a positive outcome but going in with low energy will definitely guarantee you a negative outcome. I have to seem like I'm having the time of my life. This doesn't mean I'm coming in all uncalibrated and hyperactive. But I need to give off the sense that I love life and I'm someone who has and can provide value.

I disagree, pace Krauser. He advocates a stateless game. I thought about it and it makes sense. Trying to pump up your state is a form of supplication to a woman. If you think you need to do that, it means you don't believe a woman would like you the way you are at the moment when you approach her. If you feel high, then approach on high. If you feel low, approach on low. You're good enough as you are. There will be many situations when you see a girl and you're not in the state. Having got used to approaching whilst being in the state, you will fee out of place and miss many opportunities. Hence, you should get used to approach whatever state you are in. So, you don't need to or have to give off any particular vibe to execute approach. Of course, if you feel like you've won a million dollars, you will come across better than if you feel miserably, but, essentially, you should accept yourself as you are in that particular moment - it's OK to have highs and lows. We're only human.

---------------

Odds and ends:

After meeting him again for coffee to catch up, I was slightly deflated because of the truths he dished out. He did say game is harder because he's better now but has the same results as he did a few years back. He's a night game guy but he basically confirmed what we know here at RVF: that tinder is huge now and having an exciting social media profile is almost a must. He said that a lot of girls find it way more socially acceptable to just bang hot, exciting dudes off of tinder whenever they need sex vs. meeting people in real life.

Tinder is a bitch. It's a double-edged sword. It's a winner if you're tall and handsome, it's a killer if you aren't. What can you and other folks do? Ban it legally? I don't think so. But, I believe, like all other online dating tools, it will contribute to decrease in birth rate, for all the women not believe they can procreate with alphas and don't want anything else. Consequentially, need for more and more immigrants to keep up the economy going and other problems relating to low birth rate. Top 5-10% guys get more sex than ever, the rest needs to fight for scraps. I haven't managed to get a single date from Tinder and I think I'm not that bad looking guy if I can get eye-contact from girls whilst walking down the street - granted, these are predominantly 5s and 6s, sometimes 7s.

Nonetheless, I'm going to keep pushing forward. I don't care if I feel like crap or if I feel that I can't get good at game. I'm going to keep approaching weekly and once my schedule frees up, I'll be studying game stuff like mad.

Have a look at this guy's blog. He's Asian and puts a lots of statistical data into his posts.

I don’t ever give up. I mean, I’d have to be dead or completely incapacitated.

-- Elon Musk

Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth.

-- Mike Tyson

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity’s sunrise.


-- William Blake
(This post was last modified: 03-01-2017 07:15 PM by ksbms.)
03-01-2017 07:09 PM
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wonderer1 Offline
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Post: #3158
RE: The Approach Thread
More approaches, I feel like im getting better, converted most approaches to numbers, but numbers dont mean sh*t and im not excited about it. 8 approaches, 6 numbers. All 8/9 girls.

Some of the interactions were shorter than I wouldve liked, they had to go to work or something similar, walking fast, in my mind these are flakes already - 5 min interactions. I will text all of them though. Last girl was super hot, seemed into it, her friend actually walked off and said I have to go but she stayed, only problem was she kept saying I approach girls all the time, she thinks im a player, i just denied it. My confidence seems to be throwing these girls off!! i even approached a group of girls and guys, ended up getting the guys fb... I shouldve asked if they were all together, I was singling and teasing one out of the group. Will look for the girls fb and add her and ask her out. Some of the girls are leaving in a couple of days or tomorrow and I cant commit anything tonight, bit rubbish. Watch this space.

I tried to take the last girl on an insta date but she said she was too tired, got her digits instead, ive also been smiling more on the approach cheekily, and when asking for a drink saying why - they seem lovely, good sense of humor etc, just trying to reduce flakes. She asked my age, I am 28, she was 20 but said she was 21 soon - is this her trying to qualify herself to me for not being too young?

Takeaways:

Keep doing what I'm doing, assumption on where there from, then tease about it. Smile on approach, say why you want to take her out
If there is a mixed group, ask if they are together, go for the girls number! F*ck the group!


Questions:

Is over confidence killing me?
How do I deal with girls who say I do this all the time and think im a player?
03-02-2017 01:45 PM
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Feldeinsamkeit Offline
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Post: #3159
RE: The Approach Thread
After pacing the streets of Leipzig for almost 3 hours, I finally summoned up the courage to go and approach a girl with a direct opener for the very first time this afternoon, which, although to the more seasoned players on here might seem like ridiculously small beer, to me it's a fucking huge milestone that's been crossed. Although I was happy with my delivery of the opener in terms of tonality, eye-contact, et.c., the girl's body language was fairly negative, thus causing me to eject early, but I came away feeling that the direct opener is the way I want to proceed going forward.

But one question has been nagging away at me: Aside from the whether the girl you're opening finds you physically attractive or not, is there a particular type of girl that is more likely to be receptive to an approach using a direct opener, compared with a girl you might open with an indirect opener? For example, would girls who are looking more for a ONS be more likely to be more receptive? I'd be interested to hear from guys on here with decent experience with both direct and indirect openers who might have formed an opinion on this.
(This post was last modified: 03-04-2017 02:03 PM by Feldeinsamkeit.)
03-04-2017 02:02 PM
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ksbms Offline
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Post: #3160
RE: The Approach Thread
(03-04-2017 02:02 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  But one question has been nagging away at me: Aside from the whether the girl you're opening finds you physically attractive or not, is there a particular type of girl that is more likely to be receptive to an approach using a direct opener, compared with a girl you might open with an indirect opener? For example, would girls who are looking more for a ONS be more likely to be more receptive? I'd be interested to hear from guys on here with decent experience with both direct and indirect openers who might have formed an opinion on this.

Sometimes you have porridge for breakfast, sometimes eggs and bacon. In hands of a skilled player, no girl is off limits. I don't think there's any particular pattern. Generally, I noticed that girls who are 7+, regardless if they want to fuck you or not, can handle a conversation with a reasonably looking, well-dressed, confident stranger. Girls who are less than 7 often find it out of their reality and it can be often, in the beginning, mistaken as if they thought they are too cool for you. Not true. They just don't know what to do. My best approaches are often on 8+, they are very rarely surprised or acting awkward. Committing them to a number/date is a different story...

I don’t ever give up. I mean, I’d have to be dead or completely incapacitated.

-- Elon Musk

Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth.

-- Mike Tyson

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity’s sunrise.


-- William Blake
(This post was last modified: 03-04-2017 03:38 PM by ksbms.)
03-04-2017 03:37 PM
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Feldeinsamkeit Offline
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Post: #3161
RE: The Approach Thread
(03-04-2017 03:37 PM)ksbms Wrote:  
(03-04-2017 02:02 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  But one question has been nagging away at me: Aside from the whether the girl you're opening finds you physically attractive or not, is there a particular type of girl that is more likely to be receptive to an approach using a direct opener, compared with a girl you might open with an indirect opener? For example, would girls who are looking more for a ONS be more likely to be more receptive? I'd be interested to hear from guys on here with decent experience with both direct and indirect openers who might have formed an opinion on this.

Sometimes you have porridge for breakfast, sometimes eggs and bacon. In hands of a skilled player, no girl is off limits. I don't think there's any particular pattern. Generally, I noticed that girls who are 7+, regardless if they want to fuck you or not, can handle a conversation with a reasonably looking, well-dressed, confident stranger. Girls who are less than 7 often find it out of their reality and it can be often, in the beginning, mistaken as if they thought they are too cool for you. Not true. They just don't know what to do. My best approaches are often on 8+, they are very rarely surprised or acting awkward. Committing them to a number/date is a different story...

Yes, this is also my experience, at least when opening them indirectly. But does what you say also apply when opening them directly, too?
03-04-2017 04:04 PM
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ksbms Offline
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Post: #3162
RE: The Approach Thread
(03-04-2017 04:04 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  
(03-04-2017 03:37 PM)ksbms Wrote:  
(03-04-2017 02:02 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  But one question has been nagging away at me: Aside from the whether the girl you're opening finds you physically attractive or not, is there a particular type of girl that is more likely to be receptive to an approach using a direct opener, compared with a girl you might open with an indirect opener? For example, would girls who are looking more for a ONS be more likely to be more receptive? I'd be interested to hear from guys on here with decent experience with both direct and indirect openers who might have formed an opinion on this.

Sometimes you have porridge for breakfast, sometimes eggs and bacon. In hands of a skilled player, no girl is off limits. I don't think there's any particular pattern. Generally, I noticed that girls who are 7+, regardless if they want to fuck you or not, can handle a conversation with a reasonably looking, well-dressed, confident stranger. Girls who are less than 7 often find it out of their reality and it can be often, in the beginning, mistaken as if they thought they are too cool for you. Not true. They just don't know what to do. My best approaches are often on 8+, they are very rarely surprised or acting awkward. Committing them to a number/date is a different story...

Yes, this is also my experience, at least when opening them indirectly. But does what you say also apply when opening them directly, too?

I never start a conversation with 'Hi, I thought you were [enter here any flattering to a girl adjective]' or a variation thereof. I try to be direct non-verbally. So it would be overt indirect mixed with covert direct. What signals more confidence and intent? Telling a girl she's cute, or touching her? How many guys have ever grabbed or stroked a girl's hair 2 minutes into meeting her? Probably none. Be that guy. Show, not tell you have balls and intention to fuck her. Crash the car. I won't deny, I still underperform If I don't feel full on. The more girl you open, the better intuitive feel you'll have about what to do (or say) and what not.

I don’t ever give up. I mean, I’d have to be dead or completely incapacitated.

-- Elon Musk

Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth.

-- Mike Tyson

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity’s sunrise.


-- William Blake
(This post was last modified: 03-04-2017 05:02 PM by ksbms.)
03-04-2017 05:00 PM
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Gorgiass Offline
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Post: #3163
RE: The Approach Thread
Asian stunner dressed to the 9s, standing across the street in a historic district: Waiting for something, a guy? Gave it 30 seconds then walked across, saw another well dressed asian coming from my 9:00, had to be together. Slowed, she walked in front of me, paused then followed her over, second girl opened curb side car door "I saw you standing here looking gorgeous with your black and white hat in your hand and had to come say hello" Smiled, flattered, other girl looked up from car but let it go on "What are you guys up to?"
photo shoot
"Ah, I thought you looked much better dressed than the average X resident. What's the shoot for?"
For fun.
No interest shown, I let it die shortly after

Marshalls- Cutie shopping in women's, close to men's section. Grabbed a shirt with a foreign soccer logo on it and walked over.
"Look at you picking out all the flowery clothes. Getting ready for spring?"
hehe, yes I like flowers
"Nice colors, it matches you shoes"
thanks
"What do you think about guys wearing athletic shirts? And is it unpatriotic to wear a foreign teams shirt? *held it up to me* Should I be wearing X instead?" (smiling, obviously, not meant seriously)
haha I don't know, it looks good.

More banter. She was warming up but still cagey, could tell it wasn't on but went for it anyway "So are you interested in showing me around X"
Oh...I... cant really, I have a bf
"Is he the jealous type? You could just show me around (smirking a bit)"
Yeah kinda
"OK, take it easy"
03-10-2017 11:13 PM
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shameus_o'reaaly Offline
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Post: #3164
RE: The Approach Thread
Girl asked me a question waiting to get into an exhibition, and I didn't think anything of it at first, but came to my senses and went and found her once inside. We chatted, I took her for coffee and tried to get her to meet me later for drinks. Alas, her friend wasn't well and they were both tourists who were flying out the next day, so I wasn't sure how to push for anything. Still, felt good about doing it, and it motivated me to run more appraoches whenever i next can. I'm too passive nowadays; long hours in a not very social job are draining me, and while I get more positive attention from women these days, annoyingly it's usually when I can't really capitalise on it.

"The woman most eager to jump out of her petticoat to assert her rights is the first to jump back into it when threatened with a switching for misusing them,"
-Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
03-11-2017 11:25 AM
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BetaNoMore Offline
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Post: #3165
RE: The Approach Thread
A few approaches over the last 2 weeks. Not enough though. Been busy with career stuff.

Sometime 1.5 weeks ago at work:

I don't want to give out too many details about myself but I work in a place where there's tons of women from all different departments. I was at a coffee shop within the building and was right beside a 6.5-7/10 filipino girl.

I don't exactly how I approached. Something about the weather or how it's raining a ton or something. Transitioned that into which departments we worked in and how we got into our careers. Turns out a friend of hers works in my department.

The convo ended a bit awkwardly. I joked something about my name laugh but I think she found it to be weird. Then I said I was going to go back to my department and she said she was taking the escalator up to sit on the lounge couches.

Perceived Connection: 2.5/5

Convo fun/flirty factor: 2/5

Takeway: This indirect stuff is a bit difficult especially at work and I'm not sure how to transition it to something more. I obviously do not want to do anything that spooks her because my job is important but in the future, I suppose I can read just keep rambling and improve on my reads on whether or not a girl is interested to take the convo further. I think the poster XXL made a great suggestion on how to get girls out from social circle and you basically lightly throw in a suggestion and see how she reacts. Good method which I'll use in the future in a bunch of different scenarios.

----------------

2 days ago in the Downtown Area:

Didn't fap and didn't look at porn for 5 days and I was basically exploding inside but was able to harness the energy. Wasn't dressed sharply. Was in gym clothes and had a hoodie with the team name of my bjj/mma gym.

Approach 1:

Was walking and made eye contact with some carousel riding looking blonde chick probably in her early 30s. Had a small annoying looking dog, dyed blonde hair, you know the type. Difficult to ascertain her true rating with all the make up. I tend to rate on the conservative end especially when they have make up on. The look she sports is likely 7.5-8/10 but without all the warpaint, probably 6-7.

Me: "excuse me, I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you"

Her: "oh! hey!"

Me: "ya hey. What are you up to?"

Her: "just returning some stuff."

Me: "Me too..., but I ended up buying something else. They always sucker you in"

The convo basically died off at this point. She said it was nice to meet me and that was that.

Perceived connection: 1.5/5

Convo fun/flirty factor: 1.5/5

I need to figure just what exactly I'm looking to do going for these chicks. Unless my game sky rockets and I start getting tats and roided up, these chicks won't go for me because I'm asian. Not sure why I'm wasting my time. The practice is good though. No hesitation. Probably could have talked about her dog or kept rambling but the interest wasn't there even though she was receptive initially.


------------------

2: At the coffee shop. Waiting for my coffee and some chick beside me was talking to the barista about how she's new in town. probably 5-6/10, loud, thicker white chick. Probably late 20s.

Not really and approach per se. Just chimed into the convo and asked her where she's from. Made a joke about how she's not that far away and that my friend lives there. She got her coffee and said bye. Could have chased after her but didn't bother.

-----------------

3: Couldn't get a read on this chick. Probably early 20s. Likely half feminist, half instagram white girl. 6/10 maybe worse without the layers of make up.

She was walking towards me and I stopped her. She took off her headphones

Me: "excuse, I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you"

Her: "oh thank you! I'm just in a rush to go to work right now. I'm so sorry!"

Me: "no need to apologize. you have a good one"


--------------

4: Spilled my coffee because some guy walked into me. Went back to the coffee shop and saw this typical blonde cardboard cut out instagram type chick sitting alone in the middle of packed tables. Wasn't going to wuss out because I wanted to approach her the first time around but didn't. "8/10" with all the make up, probably significantly worse without. Early 20s.

I walked up amongst the sea of people...

Me: "hey excuse me, I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you"

She immediately fixed her hair and said thank you.

Me: "can i have a seat with you for a bit?"

Her: "I'm sorry! I'm actually prepping for a job interview that's about to happen"

Me: "oh ok. Good luck!"


Takeaway: I've never been good with asking to have a seat when they sit alone. Need to work on this. Again, I don't want to sound defeatist but my success rate with these types of chicks just isn't high. I know of some asian pua guys/coaches who do really well with these chicks but their game is levels beyond my comprehension. I honestly don't think they're better than me but the time spent might be better used to approach other chicks especially when these chicks just get drilled by the top 5% of alphas.

----------------

5: mid 20s girl. Looked "normal", in other words, didn't immediately look like a cardboard instagram white girl. Standard approach. She was receptive but said she has a bf but she's flattered. Told her to have a nice day.

-------------

Went to a different part of the city outside the DT area and had some funny interactions:

6:Asian girl. Not sure if fob. But cute. 7/10. Was at the cross walk. Weakly said "hi how's it going." She didn't look and I'm not sure if she heard at all. Didn't stop her to approach strongly. Probably should have.

--------

7: Middle eastern looking girl. 7/10. Early 20s. Stopped her but my energy was low. She did have an upper ear piercing so definitely westernized.

Me: "excuse me, I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you"

Her: "no!"

and she speed walked away. LOL. The last two approaches kind of shook me and I had to head home so I left.


---------------

Lots of improvement to be made and it's difficult to see any real patterns when I'm doing this so sporadically. There's way too much variance involved and you get rusty.

The drought continues though. I even started a bumble account and only 1 match. going to keep pushing through and hopefully this is just some weird downswing where everything I do is basically dog shit and I'm no women find me attractive even though I'm way better than I was a few years back I wasn't struggling like I am now.
03-11-2017 10:59 PM
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Feldeinsamkeit Offline
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Post: #3166
RE: The Approach Thread
So, I've racked up 53 approaches using daygame since the 6 February in Leipzig, but I've stumbled across a block in most of how the sets respond to me that makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong. It goes like this: I open them with a situational comment pertaining to either the shop generally or what's in front of the girl on the shelf. So, for example, at the baking ingredients section of the local supermarket I open a young girl - probably around 21 - by saying, "You're not baking a cake are you? If you are, then you can bake one for me, too, since I can't cook to save my life", which gets a chuckle from her and she seems happy to talk back to me in English. I then ask her about what sort of ingredients she's looking for and she tells me and I make a few comments on this but she then quickly proceeds to move away further down the aisle. Now, she wasn't unfriendly and didn't have a shitty attitude, but the moving away is what bothered me, since it's a constant in my daygame approaches from both the UK and Germany. Basically, I take this as a cue to eject from this set and proceed accordingly. Do you think I am right to do so? Or should I persist and try to continue the interaction? What's the deal here?
03-12-2017 05:34 PM
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BetaNoMore Offline
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Post: #3167
RE: The Approach Thread
(03-12-2017 05:34 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  So, I've racked up 53 approaches using daygame since the 6 February in Leipzig, but I've stumbled across a block in most of how the sets respond to me that makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong. It goes like this: I open them with a situational comment pertaining to either the shop generally or what's in front of the girl on the shelf. So, for example, at the baking ingredients section of the local supermarket I open a young girl - probably around 21 - by saying, "You're not baking a cake are you? If you are, then you can bake one for me, too, since I can't cook to save my life", which gets a chuckle from her and she seems happy to talk back to me in English. I then ask her about what sort of ingredients she's looking for and she tells me and I make a few comments on this but she then quickly proceeds to move away further down the aisle. Now, she wasn't unfriendly and didn't have a shitty attitude, but the moving away is what bothered me, since it's a constant in my daygame approaches from both the UK and Germany. Basically, I take this as a cue to eject from this set and proceed accordingly. Do you think I am right to do so? Or should I persist and try to continue the interaction? What's the deal here?

53 approaches isn't a lot for starters. But you have to also make an honest assessment of how physically attractive you are. The less attractive you are, the less receptive women will be. You need to consider:

- Facial aesthetics
- Height
- Physique
- Ethnic background
- Style
- Overall demeanor

Some things you can't change and so we have to deal with the things we can. Obviously some factors in the above weigh more heavily than others.
03-12-2017 07:11 PM
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ksbms Offline
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Post: #3168
RE: The Approach Thread
Difficult to tell, really. It would be best to have a fellow experienced daygamer shadow you and give feedback. My hunch is you may be coming across as a polite guy without conveying sexual intent in at least some of the approaches. If I make my approaches too under the radar girls don't know I hit on them. Then I recalibrate, stand closer to them, frontally, touch them, talk about them, qualify them ("So, I can see you have decent looks going for you, anything else that you do?" or "Hmmm... you seem kinda young but who knows..." Why the hell you keep talking about baking? It's great as a funny, situational opener but don't beat up the dead horse unless you want to persuade a girl you're a chef de patisserie.

I don’t ever give up. I mean, I’d have to be dead or completely incapacitated.

-- Elon Musk

Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth.

-- Mike Tyson

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity’s sunrise.


-- William Blake
03-12-2017 07:14 PM
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Gorgiass Offline
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Post: #3169
RE: The Approach Thread
Don't talk about cake ingredients, that goes nowhere.

Experiment with taking it personal, something like "Nah that's cool though. My grandmother was a great cook. She had this one recipe for a chocolate cake, and believe it or not it actually had zucchini in it but it was freaking amazing. I'm too busy with [whatever] right now to master all her recipes, but someday. Where did you learn to cook? And don't say cupcake wars Wink"

See how many conversational threads you can get out of that to keep things going vs a one dimensional recipe discussion? Keep it up.
03-12-2017 11:48 PM
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BetaNoMore
BetaNoMore Offline
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Post: #3170
RE: The Approach Thread
2 for the day at the gym:

Approach 1: Very fit, a naturally very good looking woman. If she dressed like a whore, she would be super hot. A legit 7.5/8/10. Likely late 20s. The image that I get from her is that she's about as less attention whorey as a super fit chick at this gym can get. Minimal amount of make up.

We initially walked by each other and gave half polite type smiles. I ended up at the cables next to her and I needed to say something. Anything. I was a bit nervous anticipating the approach but once it started, it was fine. She put some weights back and walked back. She had headphones on:

Me: "I like your shoes" (they're low top chuck taylors)

Her: "oh thank you!"

Me: "are they for squatting or for fashion?"

Her: *laughs* "for squatting. I really like the like profile on them"

Me: "Ya, I prefer to squat in olympic weight lifting shoes. I wear the nike romeleos."

Her: "Those are good but I just hate changing shoes in the gym"

Not sure what we said here but then I made a comment about the gym:

Me: "It's an interesting clientele here."

Her: "tell me about it!"

Me: "I feel a little out of place. There's a lot of the drug dealing crowd her"

She laughed.

I sensed that the convo was kind of dying at this point and I'm planning to play the long game here so I wrapped it up.

Me: "hey what's your name?"

Her: *a greek name*

Me: "oh i like that. I'm Beta no more"

We shook hands and I let it linger just a tad longer than I normally do but not as long as I know I should.

Me; "have a good workout"

Perceived connection: 2.75/5. Not bad. Not great. She was friendly.

Convo fun/flirty factor: 2.75/5. I had some jokes but I don't think there was a high level of flirtiness. I did comment on liking her name and head strong eye contact.

Probably won't go anywhere. I'm testing out a ton of different things. Seeing how the long game at the gym will work. Next time I see her, I'll strike up a convo and see if she's receptive.

-------------------

Approach 2: Front desk girl. Not good looking at all. From what I can tell, she's relatively fit but her face isn't good. I also noticed the second time around that she has a bunch of little small tats on the insides of her fingers. Definitely not a sign of mental stability.

I walked into the gym and she asked me how I was doing. I said pretty good. I asked her how she was doing and she was going on about how happy she is because she felt a little sick but her friend from Starbucks got her a special tea or something. That was that until the end of my workout when I was walking out...

Me: Hey, are you new here?

Her: "ya, just a week and a bit"

Me: "how do you like it?"

She started saying how great it is and how positive everyone is.

Me: "hmmm I can tell that you're a people person!"

Her: "why yes i am!"

Me: "me, i'm good at pretending to be a people person"

Her: she laughed and said "well you're doing a great job pretending"

Me: "comes with the training I have"

She asked me what I do for work. I told her and she said that sounds intense.

Me: "hey, what's your name?"

we exchanged names and I told her I'd see her around.

Perceived connection: 3.25/5. I'm hesitant to rate this because front desk girls are always friendly and flirty.

Convo fun/flirty factor: 3.25/5

This is not a girl I should get myself involved with should I have the chance. The tats are not a good sign but my drought has gone on way too long. I'm not sure if there was any real chemistry or connection because like I mentioned already, these girls are always friendly. I'll see how the next interaction goes.

-----------------

Overall, I'm just super calm 90% of the time when approaching and can maintain solid eye contact with confidence. Just need to keep on pushing and hopefully something good will happen.
03-13-2017 12:44 AM
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BarkChompson Offline
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Post: #3171
RE: The Approach Thread
Early 20's blonde walking her dog while I'm running at the park.

She's half way around the track so I decide to do another .5 miles (bonus).

I run up and say

BC: Nice dog, can I pet it?
Dog-girl: Sure!
BC: (Pets dog)
DG: (On phone)
BC: Thanks
DG: (Smiles)

Seems pretty weak right? Felt good to say something to a pretty stranger though, a step in the right direction after so long on the sidelines.

I see another girl on the run home, she's in a sports bra and booty shorts, with a weird running backpack on (mine is shitty but less weird)

I ask her:

BC: Do you like that backpack?
Runner Girl: No I hate it, the straps are always chafing
BC: Yeah mine stinks, I won it in a math contest and you can tell they don't run
RG: Haha yeah mine blach blah blah advice on backpacks blah blah
BC: (stops caring, sees the light change) Thanks for the tip, see ya
RG: byeeee

Looking back she wasn't looking at the crossing signal the whole time, I probably could have kept chatting her up.

A few newb mistakes but good lord does it feel good to talk to girls again.

I've been reading Models by Mark Manson (strong inner game stuff), he mentions building approaching like any other habit and I agree.

If you start a diet and exercise plan by cutting all carbs and only eating veggies and chicken breast and working out 5x a week, where before you were eating shitty food and a couch potato, you're probably going to burn out.

Instead start by cutting out soda, candy, fast food, and dessert and walking a half hour every other day.

I'm going to take the same thing with approaching, just saying SOMETHING to pretty girls I see throughout my regular days. Once I'm used to it, then going for a direct approach, because I have never had any success going indirect.
03-13-2017 01:45 PM
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BetaNoMore Offline
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Post: #3172
RE: The Approach Thread
Lack of sleep, empty stomach, and lots of caffeine are not conditions conducive to approaching. Got off work early today and headed to a nearby shopping centre for chipotle and to game.

I had tons of anxiety anticipating the approaches but I said to myself that if I gave into the fear, I would start down a path of avoiding difficult tasks so I forced myself to approach after I ate.

Approach 1: 6.5 red-hair girl. 5'10". Probably mid 20s. One of the worst approaches I've done in a long time. I was nervous. Tonality was weak, my voice was almost cracking! Boring convo. Lots of nervous rambling.

Me: "excuse me! Hey. I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you"

She was friendly.

Don't remember the exact details but I asked her what she was doing at a mall in the middle of the afternoon. I then made a joke about being a drug dealer which fell kind of flat because my demeanor was off. She said it was her day off and she was doing appointments. Nothing noteworthy. She said it was nice to meet me and that was that.

Connection: 1.5/5

Convo fun/flirty factor: 1/5

-------------

Approach 2: Very attractive woman, looked late 20s. Dressed very well. Dirty blond. Walked beside her. Looked over and said:

Me: "excuse me..."

Paused and she seemed friendly.

Me: "I thought you were attractive and wanted to introduce myself"

Her: "oh hi thank you"

Me: "it seems like you're not from around here?"

I thought I heard an accent.

She said she is around here and I told her I thought I heard an accent but I guess not. She said she does have an accent and she's originally from Russia but lived here for a while but now lives in the Caribbean. She said this city feels like home to her. I jokingly apologized for the rain. I said it must not rain as much as it does over in the Caribbeans. She said I'd be surprised and I said "ya, but that's like the romantic type of rain" or something to that effect. Trying to use more imagery in my convos and misinterpretation. I also joked about Russian and said my people are next to her country so we're technically neighbors (i'm asian).

We talked a bit about why she's here. She said she's visiting friends. I asked her about her logistics. Turns out she's only here for a month or two and then off to some third world country for volunteer work. She wasn't specific about what exactly she was doing so I guessed by first looking her up and down and then saying "some sort of NGO." She laughed and commented on me looking up and down and at her shoes and how that would help. I said I was trying to get clues and that I liked her shorts.

Convo was flowing well. She introduced her name and asked for mine. Shortly after, I asked her what she's up to and if she has time for a coffee. She asked what time it is because she had to go to the airport. Turns out she had 15 min and was willing to do coffee but she warned me that she's married!

Her: "ya just so you know! I wanted to make sure because you're flirting and all!"

I laughed and said I was trying to flirt but it's a shame she's married. She said no one does this (go up to people) and I said it's better than tinder because I like to meet people in person.

We then were saying bye and we shook hands and held the handshake a bit longer. I was going home anyways and had to head to my car so I naturally said I would walk the same way. We chatted for a bit more and I asked how many years she's been married and she said 16! She didn't look any older than 30. Maybe she's 33? We touched on her volunteering stuff and I said she's a good person unlike me. She asked me what I do for work and I told her and she said "oh so you are a good person!" I told her I'm more like a mercenary where I show up with a set of skills and then just leave when I'm done like a sort of anti super hero.

She said she doesn't even have a phone and I asked her how she gets in touch with people. THen I jokingly asked her if she's a spy. It was time for me to go down the escalator and I said I need to meet more Russian women and she said she liked talking to me. That was that.

Connection: 3.75-4/5. Solid eye contact between the two of us. Convo flowed. Lingering handholds.

Convo fun/flirty factor: 3.75/5

Notes:

- I think I complimented her 3 times which is probably 1 too many. But I was so confident and calm during the approach that it likely didn't come from a place of weakness.
- I felt that we had some good chemistry especially with the handshakes. I'm actually kind of kicking myself for not at least doing the instadate and seeing what happens. Not that I want to be involved with married women, but I should have pushed the interaction just to get reference experience.
- That was a good interaction. Some more of those and once I have time to study more theory and have my own place, hopefully I'll break out of this crazy rut.
- I think eastern european type girls might be a receptive group towards me.
- Still kicking myself!

------------

Approach 3: White girl in her early 20s. Walking while texting. 6.5-7/10.

Me: Excuse me... *pause*

I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you

(I think I'll try the pauses a bit. Gives them a chance to settle, gives me a chance to gauge initial reaction)

Her: "oh thank you!"

She was blushing.

I jokingly asked her if she's in high school and had to make sure because there's so many high school kids around. She said no. Then said she had to go though. She was friendly.

Notes:

There has to a subset of these girls who want to leave or whatever who can be converted with proper frame and game. Even if it's just 1/10 who are initially friendly, flattered but then off to leave can possibly be converted with rambling or whatever. Will study more.

----------------

Overall:

I think I need to really up my intent or change my mindset. Right now, it seems like I'm just approaching for the sake of approaching without having a killer instinct. I should always be looking to push things farther than just the approach by going on instadates, dates later or whatever.
(This post was last modified: 03-13-2017 08:15 PM by BetaNoMore.)
03-13-2017 07:17 PM
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ksbms Offline
Wingman
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Posts: 640
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Post: #3173
RE: The Approach Thread
My goal is simple. Move on a firm footing to an intermediate stage in daygame. Now, what does that really mean? I guess, depends whom you ask. Arbitrary decision but not a bad yardstick is to assume a new lay each month (on average) of the year. Seems good to me. So I have a spreadsheet and my attitude to daygame is like a part-time job. Job that is a bit of a chore but injected with a dollop of fun and, hopefully soon, with carnal pleasures in spades. However, it’s mid-March and, so far, nothing to show. And no leads. On the bright side, the weather is improving and soon girls should start to put on short skirts and body-hugging dresses. Sometimes I wonder what panties down under they wear or, dear I say, if some of them like the experience of a gentle breeze caressing them bear down there.

On Monday, I ventured to the city centre. Yet, again, was met with miserable prospects of few girls and even fewer girls that would inspire my heart to make me leap forward to the frontline. Walked a bit down and up the Royal Mile. Finally, saw a girl with a pony tail, slowly ambling, then diverting into one of the many small alleys off of the Mile. I got myself on the phone for a bit to let her pass. She clocked me a couple times and when I came up to her it seemed like I was a bit too calculated, for she wouldn’t even stop, when I said “You don’t look like someone from here,” to which she retorted “Of course I’m not, I’m Spanish.” Now, it was obvious to me she wasn’t from here. A local wouldn’t pinball around the Mile with a paper map, like she did. Either she failed to notice it was just an ice-breaker, a conversation starter, or her repartee was a much sarcastic one. Whichever it was, she didn’t stop in her tracks and myself, having learnt the hard way, didn’t move a single foot. If a girl doesn’t want to talk, that’s her choice. Her choice and her loss.

First for me, though, usually tourists are much more open and, even if not entertaining the thought of getting banged some hours later, they’d give you the time of day and engross themselves into a polite conversation, at the very least. Didn’t feel particularly aggravated, for the girls had no stellar looks. She just happened to be the only girl worth approaching at that time, at that place.

Continued my stroll, left the Mile and sauntered to the main shopping street whereabouts I milled to and fro for some time. Finally, I saw a girl who I had seen around campus before but with her very non-present stare, a generally very good looks and being of my height, I failed to approach. Yes, I can feel intimidated, too, sometimes. But this time I followed her detective-style, for she was walking slowly, almost aimlessly so figured had some time to find the best moment to catch my prey. A few minutes later she turned to the right, up the street and entered a café. I waited outside, on the other side of the street, not sure she was getting a take away or sitting in. The latter happened, and a couple minutes later I opened the door, and thinking it was a pleasing experience I was entering a warm space. Thus, once inside, I made my steps towards the counter.

I told the server to nourish my body with a paper cup full of hot brew with a handsome dash of milk. I was acutely aware that it was near the time to make a move soon, before she would leave. I got my tea and plonked myself on the other side of the bench because there were, close behind her, three people chatting. I was hoping they’d leave. It wasn’t that much their presence but the fact I thought I’d use a stool a bit angled away from her and the one occupied was best positioned. Besides, having less audience then more, appreciated anyway. Thankfully, they left soon after.

She kept looking outside the window in a dreamy way, as if looking out, towards a shore seen after a long voyage in the open sea. The real view out the window, however, was pretty plain and nothing to write home about - just good quality Victorian buildings in the New Town. But the view gave me a good way in. My hands didn’t tremble but I wouldn’t be honest If I didn’t admit I felt my heart pumping more blood through it valves than usual. But the moment had to arrive and it was now. Right now. I grabbed my cup, stood up, and came up to her.

“That’s a very nice view, out there, isn’t it,” I said with a hint of irony, whilst pointing towards the window. She looked at me, smiled gently, and agreed. I explained I didn’t really mean it. That was, though, beside the point. I broke the ice. The wheels began to turn.

I don’t remember the rest of the conversation word for word but what followed was a pleasant one, a good one, as they happen in movies between two strangers. She told she was daydreaming and was sorry, yet she was very comfortable with the whole situation like a lazy cat sunbathing in the afternoon sun. Without asking, I sat down near her. She didn’t face me fully, but kept reasonable eye-contact, and was slightly touching her neck with her right hand. I learnt she was Scottish and this made my heart sink down like a barrel full of nails to the bottom of the body of water.

See, I’ve never got any love from local girls but kept soldiering on by asking if she did anything else apart from looking good to which, she chuckled quietly. She studied but didn’t like the course so quit and worked in a bar, temporarily, and intending to return to tertiary education. She was raised in a small town. I stated she was a village girl. She did seem neither shaken, nor stirred about it. She asked some basic things about me, rather out of politeness, than out of sheer interest, though at that very moment I didn’t know it. I looked in her eyes and her pupils, encircled by pale shade of brown, were never getting bigger, so as to indicate likeness and sexually charged interest. A pretty, though not beautiful girl she was, with a cute little nose and pale like her irises, skin which was as clear as spring water and as smooth as silk.

Some time into the conversation, I realised I didn’t introduce myself. I told her my name, she asked me how I’d spell it. She never offered her name and, by that stage, it was nearly certain to me, nothing was to be gained there and it was time to leave soon. Still, asked her name, and a poetic one it was. I extended my hand, she complied but it wasn’t one of those warm, long lasting handshakes, prospective of future, sexual union of two bodies and souls. Still, I decided to go through the motions to make it clear what I was after. I was't just a polite stranger, bored with himself, hence chatting up a girl for the sake of it but a man in pursue of attractive women to give him pleasure. I suggested we’d meet, though indicating I had free time next week only. She said, the same, that she was busy but… “Maybe,” which sounded, in a girl-speak more like “Look, I really appreciate your effort, it’s commendable but there are some reasons I’m not into it right now. Thanks, anyway.” I said, half-jokingly, half-sarcastically: “I could take your phone number but I’m sure you don’t even know it.” She smiled politely, and agreed she didn’t, with a smirk, adding “And my phone battery is dead… but I’m sure I’ll see you around.” It was time to leave. Any time longer and I risked missing social cue of gentlemanly politeness. I gathered myself, stood up, padded her back wrapped in a beige jumper, said “take care,” opened the door of the café and went back onto the street.

It was windy but warm. There were no girls in the vicinity, hence I directed my steps towards home, thinking that it was one more, a twenty-year-old girl who, in her misguided understanding of the world’s ways, frivolously passed on an opportunity to acquaint herself with a man of exceptional skills and talents.

0/23

I don’t ever give up. I mean, I’d have to be dead or completely incapacitated.

-- Elon Musk

Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth.

-- Mike Tyson

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity’s sunrise.


-- William Blake
(This post was last modified: 03-14-2017 04:10 PM by ksbms.)
03-14-2017 03:47 PM
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TheMaleBrain Offline
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Post: #3174
RE: The Approach Thread
Was at the gym this morning.
A girl I've been seeing around for 2 months came to exercise.
The instructor is usually hovering around her, explaining how to do the drills. Also, I usually focus on my exercise.
HB7.5 is 5"5, with a great figure and plain face.

Me:"It's a good thing you learned to come with snickers instead of boots"
(She came a few times last month in boots)
HB7.5 (surprised): "I go to work from here"
Me: "And you can't change your shoes? (smirking) Really?"
HB7.5 (blushing): "I guess I'm lazy"
Me: "How many times do you come here?"
HB7.5 (does the math): "Almost every day"
Me (building comfort): "So you are not lazy"
HB7.5 (smiling): "Maybe"
Me (light touch): "You know that the best way to get rid of a bad habit, is to replace it with a good one"
HB7.5 (intrigued, looking at me)
Me: "Tell me about your schedule"
HB7.5 tells me she works, works out and is on the smartphone. In the mean time I escalate the touch, but keeps it light.
Me: "We should sit together and discuss it. Give me your number"
HB7.5 gives her phone.
Me: "Wait. I'll bring mine"
She calls me and we exchange numbers and set a tentative date for Saturday morning.

"I love a fulfilling and sexual relationship. That is why I make the effort to have many of those" - TheMaleBrain
"Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb." - Spaceballs
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine" - Obi-Wan Kenobi
(This post was last modified: 03-15-2017 12:54 PM by TheMaleBrain.)
03-15-2017 12:53 PM
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BetaNoMore Offline
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Post: #3175
RE: The Approach Thread
3 solid hours of late afternoon/early evening approaches in the DT area today. I will likely miss out on a lot of details. It wasn't the best time because it seemed like everyone was in a rush to meet their friends for dinner etc. Need to go slightly earlier next time or slightly later for just straight up night game.

Approach 1: late 20's blonde. solid 7/10 min make up (for transparency sake, my scores will be based on their look WITH makeup. If they are naturally beautiful or wearing little makeup, I will note that. Most girls are definitely a lot worse than what they present themselves to be)

Walked by her, turned around approached from the side.

Me: "Excuse me" *pause*

She was startled.

"I thought you were cute and wanted to introduce myself. "

She smiled and was receptive.

Me: "oh sorry for startling you *laughs* guess this isn't off to a great start eh?"

her; "oh no it's ok."

She was eating some donuts. I said I haven't eaten donuts in over 6 months. She offered one and I took it. I asked her what she was up to and she said shopping. I told her I was out to get some pants. She said it was nice to meet me and that was that.

Connection: 1.5/5

Convo fun factor: 2/5

Notes:

I notice that I've been running into this a bit where the girl is initially receptive but because of a lack of connection or my inability to make her feel connected, the convo dies. I don't know what % was initially interested and then lost interest because didn't spike emotions etc. Obviously there's some where you connect with right away.

--------------

Approach 2: Brazilian. 5/10? Late 20s I don't know.

Standard opener. Said I frightened her. I ejected because she wasn't good looking.


-------------

Approach 3: 7.5/10 minimal make up early 20's French girl.

Me: "excuse me.."

she looked receptive.

Me: "i thought you were cute and wanted to meet you"

She said something about being french.

I asked her if she was from Montreal or from France. She's from french.

I can't remember all the details but the convo lasted just over 5 min. I asked her if the french in France are similar to the French in Quebec. She said no not at all. I teased and said if she thinks she's better. She laughed and said yes.

We talked about why she's here. She talked about traveling here solo and that it's her last night here before venturing somewhere else. I said something about wanted to visit France. Asked if there's any asians there she said very few. I spoke a small bit of french to her and said maybe I'd fit in.

I made sure to touch her elbows and her arm lightly throughout the convo. I asked her what she's up to and if she would like to get a coffee right now. She said she had to go back to her hotel to skype her parents with whom she's meeting up tomorrow to travel but maybe we can meet later (or maybe I suggested it). She gave me her whatsapp. I said that I'd be around for another hour and a bit so maybe we could meet in an hour. She said ya maybe.

I said i'd walk along with her because I had to cross the street to go to a store (I noted this because I used to be very awkward in situations where I needed to gracefully eject but I'm better now).

Connection: 2.75/5

Convo fun/flirty factor: 3/5

Notes:

Going by what I wrote, one would assume the convo went well but I think she was just friendly. Her body was angled slightly away from me the whole time and I find that the "maybe" is never a good sign. I didn't "feel" the chemistry. As I progress, I'm sure my intuition of yes and no will be better but I think I have a good feel. She did not reply and my hunch was correct. Need to see if my intuition is just confirmation bias.


------------

Approach 4:
mid 20's white chick wearing flannel. I almost didn't approach because she looked like a feminist. Said screw it.

Me: Excuse me *pause* I thought that you looked cute and wanted to meet you.

She said thanks but she has a bf. I told her that's cool. Awkward goodbye though. we were at a cross walk and I said I'd be walking ahead but she didn't have to feel awkward. She cross to the other side of the street! haha.

---------------

Approach 5: Mid 20s strawberry blond/red head. 6/10? Looked a bit frumpy.

Standard opener. She was very receptive initially.

The convo was terrible though. I asked her what she's up to and she said she's shopping because she had some time off. I then tried to guess what she does and it was a bit awkward. I was also kind of nervous. Any set I do well I have a commanding voice but I think I had some upspeak here. I tend to do this in a "mocking" way when I don't feel a connection and the set is bombing. I even said "wow this isn't going very good is it?" (WILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN!).

She asked me what I do and I told her. She was friendly but almost no connection. I wanted to test out my intuition and asked her to go for a coffee. SHe said thanks but she's not interested. I said thanks for the honesty.

Connection: 1 (only because she was friendly)

Convo fun/flirty: 1/5

Notes: again, I wonder if there's just sometimes a natural lack of connection with some people, I'm off or my game sucks in general (or combo of all 3). When the chick is so receptive initially, it seems weird if she was completely not open to the idea of seeing you as a potential mate.

-------------

Approach 6: short white chick, brown hair. sports a look of an "8/10" but I could tell it was all makeup. Bad skin. Dressed like the typical IG chick.

She was walking towards me:

Me: Excuse me

she looked like I was a bum trying to pan handle her. She looked at my shopping bag. Almost like she looked at me in disgust. I should have just walked.

Me: "i'm not trying to sell you anything" (loooool)

Me: I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you.

She said she had to go!

I was a bit shook after this but let go of the emotion and thoughts and recomposed myself after a few min.

----------------

Approach 6 +7 :

I think both were around 5.5-6/10. Frumpy white chicks. They were nice but both immediately said they had bfs. The first one seemed really shocked and immediately fixed her hair. I pointed out that she seemed shock and I said no one talks to people in real life anymore because they all use tinder. I asked her if she uses tinder. She said no bc she has a bf.

-------------------

Approach 8:

Ran across the street because I say a redhead with a nice body. Turns out her face wasn't great. 6.5/10? Maybe late 20s.

Me: "whoa hey excuse me! I noticed you and I'm really liking this strawberry blond hair you have and wanted to meet you"

She was receptive.

Her: "oh hi!"

Me: "hey." *laughs*

she offered me some chocolate that she was eating. She then said she's in a rush because she had to go back to work. I told her to stay for a few min. She did.

I asked her if she's Russian she said no. She's polish. I asked her if it's bad that I said russian instead. She said something I couldn't really understand but said it's okay she gets it a lot. I mentioned that poles usually have darker hair? She said that it's true and that redheads are rare.

Eventually I asked her if she'd like to go for a coffee sometime. She hesitated and said she's done with relationships for now but maybe we can go for a drink. I laughed immediately and said in a mocking tone: "RELATIONSHIPS?? I just met you. Let's keep it chill"

She couldn't really remember her number (she actually struggled) and said to give me hers. I mockingly said "well this clearly won't work because girls don't take the initiative" She said something about that not being true. She typed my number into her phone but I don't think she actually called or saved it properly?

Connection: 2.75/5 I guess. It was better than the other ones and we laughed.

Convo fun/flirty: 3/5

Not expecting a call back. I think I played that relationship comment pretty well. At the end of the day, if she found me attractive enough, she'd probably want to see me regardless of relationship factors.

----------

Approach 9:

4.5/10 chick with missing teeth? Not sure what I was doing. She wasn't dressed well and was smoking. I said she looked cute but then saw that her teeth were very yellow stained and poorly kept. She was from Russia. She seemed VERY interested but I politely excused myself.

---------------

Approach 10: late 20's early 30's blond white chick. In jogging apparel. Solid 7/10 but looked a bit older.

Standard opener with pause.

She seemed very receptive. I said she must be exercising. She said she was jogging. We commented on how many nice places there are to run around the city but I said jogging is the bane of my existence as I do other forms of cardio. She was carrying a shopping bag from an expensive grocer. I noted how very (area) of her.

Her body was angling away. I noted on it asking her if she's in a rush. She said she had to go home to study. I said she should stay for a few min because no one talks anymore (need to work on this because I think I might have had a tone of frustration which isn't cool but I don't think she picked up on it). She was ready to stay and said it's nice to chat with different people. She then mentioned a husband. Not sure if she's actually married. I said it was nice talking to her.

----------------

Approach 11:
Saw what I thought was a hot red head across the street. Ran up to her. Hard to rate her. She presented hot but I could tell she's not. let's say 6.5. Dressed like the typical empowered party white girl. Tons of make up. Visible tattoo originating from her shoulder that breached into her chest.

Me: "hey I noticed your red hair and I really like what's going on and wanted to meet you."

She was very receptive.

I immediately said she has an accent. She said yes and to guess where shes' from. I said I always guess wrong but... English. She said yes. I said I always guess English when it's south african and australian when it's english.

She was in a rush to meet her friends. I said: "hey stick around for bit!" She said sure but she really is in a rush though. I laughed and said: well it's not like you can't run away!" I didn't say this in a bitchy manner. I think it was funny.

I asked her how open to new experiences she is. She said she doesn't know. I said how about a coffee. She said sure. I laughed and said "ya nothing to crazy."

Got her number. Probably nothing will happen.

Connection: 2.75-3/5 maybe higher.

Convo fun/flirty: 3/5

Numbers are kind of meaningless because the convo was so short.

------------

Approach 12: Westernized asian chick with some platinum silver highlights. Dressed like a club girl.

Me: excuse me...

she pulled out her headphones I think

Me: "i thought you were cute and wanted to meet you"

her: "omg you're so demanding! you're scary!"

DodgyDodgyDodgy

Decided to go into troll mode. She was on the phone the whole time and didn't really make eye contact.

I said: "ya I guess i am scary. I'm a drug dealer!"

Her: "I don't like associating with those people"

me: "ya I have really bad ass sleeve tat. Belong to a bad ass triad gang"

her: "oh i have to go now! but you can find me on snapchat: ______"

tardtardtard

--------------

Approach 13: very good looking brunette but a bit older. maybe early 30s? We made eye contact walking towards each other. Smiled. Zero hesitation

standard opener

Her: "oh thank you so much! I'm just meeting my bf though for dinner but thank you!"

Me: "have a good one"


---------------

Approach 14: Asian girl. Westernized. 6.5-7/10 but lots of make up. You yellow fever white guys would probably think she's hot. She was heading to work. Was in a rush.

Standard opener.

She was friendly but had to go. I guessed wear she works. Turns out we have a mutual person that we know (she works with a close buddy of mine). She was more receptive at this point. Told her where I work. I asked her if she would be down for coffee at some point. She said ya maybe and kind of started walking away. I laughed and said I'll need her number. She gave it to me.

Not expecting anything from this here.


-----------------

Approach 15: 6.5-7/10 white brunette. Early 20s. Was wearing some hot heels as I was walking down to catch the train and she was walking up. I changed directions and caught up to her.

me: excuse me... *pause*

She had a friendly response.

Me: "i noticed your shoes and then saw you. thought you were cute and wanted to meet you"

very receptive.

Can't remember the exact convo but just moved her for school (theater school). I said that's why she's so dramatic. I said I liked her attire. She said she's meeting up with a friend at a restaurant and I said it's not bad there. Said I hang out in a different area we talked about that briefly. She said she was needing to go because she had to meet her friend. I asked her if she wanted to meet up for coffee later this week. She asked for my business card.

I laughed and teased her about expecting a business card. got her number instead. She said her name starts with a C. We shook hands again and held it for a second. She definitely had a flare for the dramatic.

Connection: 2.75/5

Convo fun/flirty factor: 2.75/5

Not expecting much from this one either.

----------------

Approach 16:
Waiting for the train. 5.5/10 girl. Looked normal. Not like a party girl but not extremely good looking. White. I said she looked cute and since I'm waiting for the train, I thought I'd say hi.

She was VERY nervous. Convo went no where. Soon after, I said I didn't want to keep her from what she's diong and we awkwardly ended the convo.

Notes:

I wonder if there's anyway to convert these super shy awkward girls. One reason why they're shy is because they don't like me. Another is they're actually shy and I need to somehow break through.

---------------

Approach 17: was going to call it a day but got off at another stop to do some more.

Saw some eastern euro looking girl smoking outside the train. Tough to say how good she looked. Face was good but teeth was messed. English was poor. We chatted nothing great. SHe's here for a few more months or she's been here for a few months. Can't remember. I joked about how Russians all drink vodka like it's coffee and joked about how dangerous Russia is and the dashboard cams.

She was meeting a friend so I asked her if she wants to go for coffee another time. She said maybe. I then said a bitch thing: "well that doesn't sound very convincing. you don't have to say yes" Got her whatsapp anyways.

We texted. She texted me a few times and told me her name and asked me for mine. She never ended up meeting with her friend. She didn't respond ot my reply and another message asking her what she's up to tonight and if she wants to grab a beer.

Oh well.

--------------

Approach 18: Slightly overweight taller white chick. SHOULD NOT HAVE APPROACHED. Said she was cute wanted to meet her. She said thanks and kept walking. I said "oh you're running away" she said she's meeting her husband.

-----------

Approach 19: White chick, late 20s, 5.5/10. Homely face.

Standard opener. very receptive.

Turns out we went to university together! I actually asked this chick out once before and this was years ago and she said no lol.

We talked about what we're doing now. Talked for over 5 min. was not very interested but hey, I've had a huge dry spell and will do anything above a 5. She said she can't because she's dating someone and wouldn't be fair to him.


--------------

Appraoch 20: good looking half asian chick. Probably early 20s. Standard opener. She as friendly. Asked her for her name. It was a black chick name! I said I would not have guessed that at all. She apologized and said she was in a rush to go.

-----------------

Odds and Ends:

- need to figure out how to get better. Some sets go better than others because there's probably a natural chemistry or a chick is more receptive but it's odd than I'm getting quite a few warm chicks from the intro but then they want to leave. Maybe they were just being friendly all along?

- Things not to do: I'm going to stop using that "mocking" nervous tone when the set sucks. If it sucks, it sucks. I'm going to go out with honor and the nervous tone is not manly. I also will never call out a chick when she says "maybe." Just accept it.

- Pick up sucks. cold approaches suck. I have no other option though. I need to put in the work and hopefully something good will happen. Actually, I need to learn how to network better and maybe get into more social circles. That's probably the best way that should supplement cold approaching.

- I'm definitely mentally stronger than I was 4-5 years ago when I dabbled in approaching before I got into my relationships. I used to go quit for a period of time due to frustration and "failures." The thing about pickup is it makes you confront all your inner demons. You have all these doubts, these negative thoughts, but I've developed a more resilient mind to not let these thoughts take over me.

- related to the above, I need to keep a positive frame of mind. It's easy to become bitter because of this dry spell and to blame this, blame that and think about how "unfair" things are. I won't lie. This certainly doesn't make sense and it does get to me. I keep mentioned again and again and where I'm at in life, it shouldn't be this difficult and there should be at least some chicks who are interested. 1.5 years ago, I had 2-3 tinder dates a week. Now I can't get matches much less get a date! It almost seems like I'm cursed.

With that said, I'm not going to be a pussy and just give up. Fortune is not working with me right now. But since I'm still here, the only option is to keep pushing forward, stay humble and get better.

What do I mean by stay humble? Well I'm no chad but my looks shouldn't disqualify me (although being Asian puts me at a disadvantage). Because I am having trouble and since my looks shouldn't be disqualifying me, there must be something about my game, personality, or presence that is not attracting chicks. This is where I can work on.

- I suppose what cuts the deepest aside from the the biological urge of needing sex are the needs of companionship, affection and being desired by someone. When you're running dry and struggling for this long while the Chads are laying at will and the betas are somehow also getting their decent looking gfs, it makes you think "What the hell is wrong with me?" It really does cut deep into your core and takes a hell of a lot of effort to not just quit. But I'm not going to quit. Fortune can spit on me all she wants but as long as I'm here, I'll be fighting.

- 20 approaches in a day over 3 hours is a lot. going hard for probably 2 hrs at a time is probably the best way to do things without being overwhelmed.
(This post was last modified: 03-19-2017 01:41 AM by BetaNoMore.)
03-19-2017 01:22 AM
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