Post: #3126

(02-06-2017 12:56 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  Did 5/6 approaches today. Very slow start, honestly 30 mins and couldn't find anyone worth approaching. This really killed my vibe and energy, also put a lot of pressure for a girl that I did find. I wish I could just do approach after approach after approach. I can do this in London but its one hour away, so I dont see the point in picking up girls there, but I know I could do 100 approaches and the quality of girls would be high. I had a coffee and recollected myself, the approaches then started to come.

The model kind of went out the window, I was asking too many questions, some girls had bf's but I still put a smile on their face, I love putting a smile on a pretty girls face, it puts a smile on mine.

Before I left I had a really good interaction with a real good looking girl, she wouldnt give me her number but gave me her snapchat, now im home shes removed me from it! Not sure what I did wrong here, the conversation was good, we talked about where she was from, she hooked me, we talked about uni, sushi, then I went for the number, not sure how long the interaction was, maybe it was too short? I was asking questions rather than making statements but she was laughing and enjoying it. Its difficult to keep track of time when youre in the moment. I asked what she was up to and she was just going home, I reckon I couldve got the insta date but bottled it. Ive found her facebook - should I add? nothing to lose?

Takeaways:

If I don't get the number, keep talking and ask again, dont accept anything but the number.
I try to go for the perfect approaches - im conscious of people around us - the last approach was on the high street - im not worried about other people now
Go for the insta date!!I havent done this yet, but this is my next step


Questions for you guys:

How long are your interactions?
Do you only day game in sunlight? It was starting to get dark, I wanted to continue gaming but Im worried girls will feel threatened by me as the sun goes down.

The vibe feels different after dark. If you find yourself in such a situation, try to approach in a well-lit area, preferably a spot where are other people, shops, etc.

Generally, the goal isn't a number, the goal is a date. So make it her agree to go on a date with you. Then, the number is after thought to keep communication going. Let's say you both like visiting a natural museum. So that would be it - ask if she'd like to join for a coffee at a natural museum. Then, the number is a natural consequence of the interaction, not the goal. Always keep eyes on the prize.

Post: #3127

(02-06-2017 01:15 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

(02-06-2017 12:56 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  Did 5/6 approaches today. Very slow start, honestly 30 mins and couldn't find anyone worth approaching. This really killed my vibe and energy, also put a lot of pressure for a girl that I did find. I wish I could just do approach after approach after approach. I can do this in London but its one hour away, so I dont see the point in picking up girls there, but I know I could do 100 approaches and the quality of girls would be high. I had a coffee and recollected myself, the approaches then started to come.

The model kind of went out the window, I was asking too many questions, some girls had bf's but I still put a smile on their face, I love putting a smile on a pretty girls face, it puts a smile on mine.

Before I left I had a really good interaction with a real good looking girl, she wouldnt give me her number but gave me her snapchat, now im home shes removed me from it! Not sure what I did wrong here, the conversation was good, we talked about where she was from, she hooked me, we talked about uni, sushi, then I went for the number, not sure how long the interaction was, maybe it was too short? I was asking questions rather than making statements but she was laughing and enjoying it. Its difficult to keep track of time when youre in the moment. I asked what she was up to and she was just going home, I reckon I couldve got the insta date but bottled it. Ive found her facebook - should I add? nothing to lose?

Takeaways:

If I don't get the number, keep talking and ask again, dont accept anything but the number.
I try to go for the perfect approaches - im conscious of people around us - the last approach was on the high street - im not worried about other people now
Go for the insta date!!I havent done this yet, but this is my next step


Questions for you guys:

How long are your interactions?
Do you only day game in sunlight? It was starting to get dark, I wanted to continue gaming but Im worried girls will feel threatened by me as the sun goes down.

The vibe feels different after dark. If you find yourself in such a situation, try to approach in a well-lit area, preferably a spot where are other people, shops, etc.

Generally, the goal isn't a number, the goal is a date. So make it her agree to go on a date with you. Then, the number is after thought to keep communication going. Let's say you both like visiting a natural museum. So that would be it - ask if she'd like to join for a coffee at a natural museum. Then, the number is a natural consequence of the interaction, not the goal. Always keep eyes on the prize.

I always grab the number after saying "we should go for a drink sometime" they say yes, I then get the number. Interaction with last girl was good today, sucks not knowing for sure what went wrong - would help with what I need to work on! Gunna try and add her fb later, nothing to lose I guess

Post: #3128

(02-06-2017 01:20 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  

(02-06-2017 01:15 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

(02-06-2017 12:56 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  Did 5/6 approaches today. Very slow start, honestly 30 mins and couldn't find anyone worth approaching. This really killed my vibe and energy, also put a lot of pressure for a girl that I did find. I wish I could just do approach after approach after approach. I can do this in London but its one hour away, so I dont see the point in picking up girls there, but I know I could do 100 approaches and the quality of girls would be high. I had a coffee and recollected myself, the approaches then started to come.

The model kind of went out the window, I was asking too many questions, some girls had bf's but I still put a smile on their face, I love putting a smile on a pretty girls face, it puts a smile on mine.

Before I left I had a really good interaction with a real good looking girl, she wouldnt give me her number but gave me her snapchat, now im home shes removed me from it! Not sure what I did wrong here, the conversation was good, we talked about where she was from, she hooked me, we talked about uni, sushi, then I went for the number, not sure how long the interaction was, maybe it was too short? I was asking questions rather than making statements but she was laughing and enjoying it. Its difficult to keep track of time when youre in the moment. I asked what she was up to and she was just going home, I reckon I couldve got the insta date but bottled it. Ive found her facebook - should I add? nothing to lose?

Takeaways:

If I don't get the number, keep talking and ask again, dont accept anything but the number.
I try to go for the perfect approaches - im conscious of people around us - the last approach was on the high street - im not worried about other people now
Go for the insta date!!I havent done this yet, but this is my next step


Questions for you guys:

How long are your interactions?
Do you only day game in sunlight? It was starting to get dark, I wanted to continue gaming but Im worried girls will feel threatened by me as the sun goes down.

The vibe feels different after dark. If you find yourself in such a situation, try to approach in a well-lit area, preferably a spot where are other people, shops, etc.

Generally, the goal isn't a number, the goal is a date. So make it her agree to go on a date with you. Then, the number is after thought to keep communication going. Let's say you both like visiting a natural museum. So that would be it - ask if she'd like to join for a coffee at a natural museum. Then, the number is a natural consequence of the interaction, not the goal. Always keep eyes on the prize.

I always grab the number after saying "we should go for a drink sometime" they say yes, I then get the number. Interaction with last girl was good today, sucks not knowing for sure what went wrong - would help with what I need to work on! Gunna try and add her fb later, nothing to lose I guess

"we should go for a drink sometime" is non-committal. Make her invest. Better "would you like to meet for a coffee/drink"? Then wait for her to reply whilst looking in her eyes. If she agrees, chances are good, though once the interaction is over, they'd often change her mind, so not a reliable indicator.

Post: #3129

(02-06-2017 01:20 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  I always grab the number after saying "we should go for a drink sometime" they say yes, I then get the number. Interaction with last girl was good today, sucks not knowing for sure what went wrong - would help with what I need to work on! Gunna try and add her fb later, nothing to lose I guess

The women we go after aren't video games that are programmed to respond in an automatic way. A lot of times, there's nothing you did "wrong" but she just isn't into you for whatever reason.

I wouldn't add her to facebook especially when she denied your number request and then deleted you off snapchat. You're heading into stalker territory with the facebook stuff. Just approach other girls.

Post: #3130

Made about 5 approaches today, I definitely ask too many questions, and also my stack and vibe really need some work, some girls I dont approach because I really dont know what to stack with, what do you guys do in this situation? I opened one girl and all I could say was I like your scarf, I couldnt thnk of anything and we just looked at eachother, first time I left the set before she did!

Also was vibing with another girl but she was on the phone to her nan, I made a joke about it but she went off, need to get them to stay, say just 1 sec or something like ive done in the past.

Learnt from my mistakes on the last girl and got her number, Im not sure if its a real one but she was holding a loaf of bread and I managed to talk about that for 10 minutes, was very funny.

Im going to go to London next week, its an hour away but I need to go anyway, and really want to approach a lot of girls to get my experience up

Takeaways:

dont let her go so soon!
stop asking questions
work on the stack/vibe, going to read up on some more scripted stacks now until I become a bit more natural with it

Post: #3131

Two very wobbly and bailed approaches this week:

1) Sunday night I am at a mixed athletic activity (men and women, don't want to disclose personal details). Usually, it is guys and a few land whales so not much of a pickup or approach type of environment.

However, I was there for about an hour and this chick shows up, super thin, young (20-22), longer blonde hair, and she is doing her thing and no one is talking to her. I wasn't going to approach as I already have my next two weekends filled up with dates and family activity but then I thought....why am I making excuses.

So, I see her getting a drink from a water fountain and decide to go in......

Me: Hey, are those vintage? (an item she was using)

Her: yeah, my mom had some like it but they didn't fit me but I got some just like them.

we chit chat and I kinda just run out of things to say and can't hear her voice as her voice is somewhat quiet and light and feminine and there is loud music so I then bail and didn't reengage her the rest of the time I was there.

2) I'm in starbucks with a business associate...a cute girl sets up shop next to us...she is feminine, wearing a dress, probably 20/22, we are talking business stuff and then she gets up to go to the bathroom and looks at us and asks, "would you watch my stuff while I go to the bathroom", I reply,"only if you are back in two minutes", she laughs and goes to the bathroom, comes back and sits down. my friend gets up to go get something and she turns to me and asks, "well, was I back in two minutes", and is looking me directly in the eyes, we chat a bit...she goes back to work...later we start talking about her studies, she is studying chemistry and I mention that my ex was a chemistry teacher, doesn't get a good response. I then drop the ball and don't talk to her more or ask for her number when she clearly showed interest.

Have been opening but haven't been totally in the zone recently.

Post: #3132

So not really much going on but all the past work of hard street approaches pays off. A place where girls are stationary, makes for breezy-easy approaches. At least it feels like that! Was sitting in a cafe and wrote this post. Café game I have never done before but hey, there was this girl as per the post. Kept sitting and another girl, a very tidy, slim brunette, was sitting at an angle, further away from me, and finished working on her laptop. As she was about to pack her stuff, I went with the low-key just say something: "finished with your work? I saw you studying hard." Again, surprisingly, she hooked well and we had just a normal chat about stuff we do. All smiling Japanese girl. It's so refreshing, unlike bitchy Scottish girls' attitude. Was rather indirect, but told her she had nice lips, so I hope she got a hint. Very nice interaction. Did computer science, so teased her she was nerdy. Got her number. I think, I'll start hanging out in this café more often.

Apart from that, went to salsa class, after it people went to a bar and I joined. At some point later got myself into a longer conversation with American Asian. Truth be told, no girl was truly attractive, but I was OK with her face, very decent body and actually interesting girl, we had common interests. Got a number, and it seems on.

So yeah, opportunistic, just say something game has its excellent merits.

Post: #3133

Just 1 today. Haven't done approaches in over a week so I'm rusty.

Was downtown for an appt and heading back to my car. Saw an exotic looking cute chick dressed nicely across the street and talked myself out of wussing out.

Me: "excuse me, this is random but I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you."

Her: *big smile* oh thank you!

me: "ya, it's raining but i noticed you from other there..."

Her: "what's your name?"

exchanged names. shook hands. I should have held on to her hand.

Me: "you have a really exotic looking to you... I'm guessing..."

Her: "i'm persian"

me: "oh ya i love persian food"

I stumbled a bit here and said something lame. She said there's a persian restaurant nearby and I said oh ya I've been there and said a few things about the food. I moved from this topic which was dumb but I had a brain fart. I could have gone into this more because my ex was persian but I wasn't thinking quickly at the time.

Me: "So I always wonder what people are up to in the middle of the day..."

Her: "oh i didn't have school today so I'm out shopping."

Me: "Hmmm let me guess what you're taking... " *looked her up and down* "something to due with chemistry"

She said she was in biology. I asked her what she wanted to do with that and she said eventually med school. I made her guess what I do.

Soon after that, I said I had to go and wanted her number. She said she can't because she's seeing someone but that I made her day. Well that's always a plus.

takeaways:

- hold onto the hand longer
- The approach wasn't great. She seemed very very interested, ecstatic even. She sustained eye contacted, played with her hair, seemed genuinely engaged. I even though that even though it wasn't fun, I thought it was in the bag because she was so receptive. I should have asked her to coffee right then and there. No more going for the number unless I have to.
I'm not sure if it was because of the rust from being a week off but the convo wasn't very fun. The only reason it was somewhat lengthy is because she seemed really receptive. Roosh talks about being able to babble and I guess that was babbling but it seemed really mundane. Will have to do more approaches and study how other people do approaches. Talking about work/studies seems like a bad call on the street. Maybe when you sit down and it progresses there it's fine.

Post: #3134

It's not as much what you talk about but how. Let her talk. Ask open ended questions. Think sexual things you'd like to do to her. If you consider idate, then ASK about her logistics: "what are you up to like now?" She has no pressing appointment, bounce for coffee or. drink. If it's afternoon or later, she indicates she's got nothing to do, consider SDL but only is she's not living in town and slim chances to see her again.

Post: #3135

Was at a co-worker family event (Bar-Mitzva).
The place was packed with 13 year old kids and older people.
Talked with my co-workers and had appetizer from the buffet. Than saw a tall (over 6 feet) HB6. Her face were so-so but had a nice body.
Checked out her ring finger - no ring.

Went in with a statement.
Me: "You are a tall women. Are you from the husband and wife side?"
Tall HB6: "Oh, I'm from the wife side"
Me (with a mild smirk): "You are not a psychologist, are you?"
Tall HB6: "No (smiling lightly). I'm a friend"
Me: "Cool. So what do you do if you are not a psychologist?"
Went into a conversation about her job. Started light touching and transitioned the conversation to personal affairs.

Then came the cockblock.

An old acquaintance came over and started talking to me in the middle of the approach.
I try to hold both, but she saw another friend of her and went.

Ouch.

So I talked business with him, and we may cooperate.

Post: #3136

Atreus: "who would reject the flood of fortune's gifts?"

Thyestes: "Anyone who has experienced how easily they flow back."

We need the blessing of fortune for success. That said, we don't control fortune and fortune is fickle. All we control is our actions and or will to take action. I will drill this in my head every. single. day.

I had a good day today. This will be long and lots of approaches. The main things are:

- Dress well
- Take care of your own shit.
- Go in as a man. Make strong eye contact but have that smirk going on. Don't be afraid to smile.
- Take action.
- Have fun

-----------

I'll start off with the last approach I did today. I made almost a dozen approaches as I headed into the city. You know what's the worst? The anticipation of approach and your own expectation of failure/success. drill it into our minds that all we can do is our best, we will fail but we will get our asses back up and learn.

So my last set was in the early evening I saw this cute white chick maybe 20. I saw her cross the street and I walked back:

Me: "excuse me, I thought you were cute and I wanted to meet you." Strong eye contact, smile and smirk.

She was hooked. She said "omg I can't believe this. is this real?"

Me: I suppose it isn't. It's all in your imagination.

Her: I can't believe this. No one does this in this city.

Me: "Ya, it is pretty random. It's better than tinder though and you know why?"

Her: "why?"

me: "arthritis in the thumbs. too much swiping."

blah blah blah

Me: "hey, you heading home right now?"

Her: yes

me: I have some time before I meet my friend. Let's go for coffee right now.

Her: "omg let's do it"

we walked a few blocks got some coffee. Didn't have a place to sit so we walked some more and eventually ended up at a park on a bench.

Some funny things were she's a typical brain washed feminist. Disparaged trump, used terms like "misogyny." I told her I have a trip to San Antonio and she asked me why the heck I would go there because they're all "white racists."

I called her out: "Why would you assume that? We make up a story in our heads and label someone to be some sort of bad person based on our own biases and then it perpetuates. lets' not be so judgemental."

I also liked how I kept it fun while mixing it with some stuff that showed off my intellect. She a cow tattoo on her ankle and I asked her what that was about. she asked me to guess so I came up with the most outlandish story I could think of

"I think you were taken to a farm and the handlers said "hey .... you're going to cook your own meal tonight." They gave you a shotgun, and loaded it up for you. You looked it in the eyes and shot it in the head. The tattoo is your way of honoring that cow."

She laughed.

We sat on the park bench and I was really natural. I said what I wanted to say but connected with her. What I loved was the magnetism. When the girl hooks, she sits a little closer. She has a sparkle in her eye. She puts her leg under yours. I eventually made a lame excuse to hold her hand which she called me out on but I rolled with it.

I eventually had to leave and I said let's walk me back to the train. We got some groceries and I teased her about her junk food habits. We were parting ways and I said let's go over to the corner so I can get her number.

I love this. We were against the wall and standing close. I asked her if she had ever gone on a date with an Asian guy and she said she made out with a half asian once. I laughed and said I don't want to hear more of it. Intense eye contact. I said something about kissing an asian guy and she said "you're not kissing me right now!"

I told her "hey i'm not that easy!"

We were parting ways and I hugged her and grazed her ass. She called me out on it. I said "I was only touching your low back!" I went to kiss her on the side lips as a peck. I wasn't going to force it.

She texted me right away and seems kind of needy and crazy. But the practice is awesome.

Takeaways

- The thing is about game, you'll never convert a firm no but if she's a yes, that's where you shine. The advanced guys can convert the luke warm. I'm not there yet.
- She might be crazy. She told me she's a little crazy and she will stick up for herself and all this feminist shit. I repeatedly said "you're not going to murder me right?" "what am i getting myself into?"
- The thing is about kino, I have a decent amount of experience where I don't need to force it. It comes naturally. I let her put her legs close to mind and I meshed in with her. The hand holding was a bit forced but she was already hooked. I didn't go for a firm kiss close because there was no reason to.
- tease but don't be too offensive. tease on stupid outlandish stuff but never make her feel bad. Misinterpret, make it comical.
- Be bold. Be confident. Smile. Eye contact.

She seemed very into me and was even talked about further dates. But like Thyestes said, the flood for fortune will flow back. I'll go on another date if it happens but I loved it. there's something awesome about the dance of seduction. She texted me a few times when I was with my friend but I didn't answer. I texted her at the end of the night saying I had a good time with her and want to see her again and put it for Tues. We'll see what happens.


I got 2 other numbers (which mean nothing) from 2 other good approaches that lasted 10-15 min. I will write about them tomorrow. I'm obviously on a high right now because of small success but I will always need to remind myself that I won't be tied to the outcome but of my will and my ability to impose my will on reality.

Post: #3137

Alright let's go down the gauntlet of yesterday's approaches.

#1: On the train. 7+ East Indian girl. Had headphones on, stood across from me.

Me: "excuse me, are those nice boots?"

Her: *removed headphones* "oh thank you!"

Me: "oh no, I asked if they're nice boots.... actually you know what? I gotta be honest, I was looking for an excuse to get you to take off your headphones"

Her: "oh it worked!"

Me: "what are you up to?"

Her: "it was my bday yesterday and I'm going for my bday dinner"

Me: "oh happy birthday! Large group of people?"

Her: "ya, my friends and my bf"

Me: "hey, you have a nice day"

Her: "thanks!"

a split second of awkward silence as she went to walk away. I laughed and said she doesn't have to walk away and she said it was her stop.

Notes:

- I may try a variation of this opener depending on the circumstances just to be more direct than the elderly opener. I find that as long as I'm pretty confident and having fun, the approaches rarely get blown out with rudeness

-----------------

#2: Blond chick behind me on the escalator to the men's department of a department store.

Me: "Hmmm men's department?"

Her: "ya it is"

Me: "oh no, I meant to ask what brings you up here?"

Her: "oh I'm looking for my bf"

Me: "Hey you have a nice day."

She was blushing the whole time. I like it when girls do that.


----------------

#3 Cute thin brunette walking inside the mall with earphones

Me: "hey excuse me"

Her: "yes?"

Me: "I thought you were cute and I wanted to say hi"

Her: *big smile, bit of blushing* "oh thank you!"

Me: "wait a sec, how old are you?''

Her: "why do you ask?"'

Me: "oh you look really youthful so I wanted to make sure you weren't in a highschool" *laughs*

Her: "oh no i'm not!"

Me: "so what are you up to?''

Her: "just some valentines day shopping."

Me: "valentines day shopping? for friends?''

Her: "ya and my bf"

Me: "hey, you have a nice day"

Her: "hey thank you so much. That was really nice of you!"


----------------

#4: Cute asian girl walking in the mall

Me: "hey excuse me, this is random but I thought you were cute and I wanted to say hi"

Her: *nervous, blushing, body language said she was in a rush* "oh thank you"

Me: "Are you in a rush?"

Her: "ya I'm going to meet some friends" *plays with her hair nervously*

Me: "5 min?"

Her: "no sorry I have to go"

Me: "are you sure?"

Her: "ya sorry!"

Notes:

- Yikes, that was borderline whiney. I'm not sure how to really handle these situations but whining for her to stay is not the way. I'm not sure if an assertive "hey stick around for 5 min" is better or if I should just let it go. What I have noticed are cues of girls wanting none of it. It's when their feet are pointing towards the other direction.

---------------

At this point, I felt my heart racing a little bit and decided to breath and take about a 10 min break

------------

#5 Asian girl dressed really well. Probably rich. Face wasn't great. Sitting on a bench inside the mall with people around. she was busy typing on her phone

Me: excuse me, I thought you were cute and I wanted to say hi.

*as I said this, the woman next to us gave me a weird look which threw me off*

Her: "oh... hi" *looks back to her phone*

Me: lol have a good one

notes:

When people are around, I tend to drown my voice, feeling insecure and slightly embarrassed. If I am to approach with others in close proximity, I'll have to learn to just own it. the bitch voice will never work.


---------------

#6 Good looking brazilian woman walking on the streets

I don't really remember much of this convo other than her being friendly, but her body language was such that it was angling away from me. I wonder if girls like the can ever be converted when their bodies are saying "not interested."

I said I have a brazilian coworker who is beautiful and she asked me what I do for work. I tried to interject a bit about brazilian jiu jitsu but I'm not sure she understood what I meant. That fell pretty flat.

At the end, I said we should go for a coffee and she said she had to go and she has a bf.

---------------------

#7: Some white chick walking on the street with a weirdly dyed colour of hair and long nails. Probably shouldn't have approached. Not much to report other than she was friendly but her body language was also angling to leave. I left it at that.

------------

#8: Cutish white girl (possibly a bit chubby?) who turns out to be on a work visa for work. Walking on the street towards me. Ear phones in.

Me: excuse me, I thought that you're cute and I wanted to say hi

Her: "oh wow thank you! no one ever does this!"

I think she was hooked in the moment.

Me: "ya, it's pretty random. A street hello."

I can't remember all the details of what we talked about but the approach lasted a good 10 min. I tried to go for an insta date but she said she had some errands to do before meeting a friend but gave me her number.

Some highlights:

light teasing!
- she said she's living with roommates and I asked her if she was one of those international people who stay 7 to a flat. We both laughed and she said no but she's done that before
- She joked about me getting her when she was most vulnerable because her make up was all gone and terrible because she just got off of work. I laughed and said "hey, you know who the joker is right? Actually, you foiled my plan. That's precisely why I said hi to you"

I got in some good natural kino touching her hand, wrist, etc at natural points.

I texted her immediately with my name when she gave me her number. I did not get a text back. I wonder if this means anything? I send her another one just now hoping to make plans. We'll see what happens.

-------------------

#9: Hot european looking girl walking towards me. Earphones on.

Me: "hey, I thought you were attractive and I wanted to say hi"

Her: *big smile, hooked* "omg no one does this in this city!"

Me: "I guess not!"

The approach lasted 10 min or so flowing well. I can't exactly remember the details but we joked around, asked her what she's doing her etc and she said I'm funny a few times. For example, she asked me if I was born here and I said I moved here when I was 5 months old... then I paused and said that makes me 14 years and 5 months old. Stupid stuff like that.

I also joked spun my job in a different manner before revealing it. I do that a bit and will see how it goes. I said I'd ask her out for coffee right there but she had to meet her friends for a movie. She gave me her number and made sure I typed in her name correctly and I texted her right there.

Again, she did not reply immediately that night. Not sure if that means anything. I texted her just now and we'll see what happens

-------------------

Overall:

- The key is laser eye contact but it has to be a soft gaze so you don't look like an autistic serial killer. Smiling and smirking is good
- I've cut down on my fidgety movements when I laugh. I also speak slower, more calm. Just appear cool and confident.


Re: the instadate girl. I think she's only 19. I may have also messed up trying to get a date with her. I said we should meet up tomorrow and she initially said sure but then she said she can't because she realized she had plans with her roommate (she told me about them last night during our date)

I said my schedule won't be free until the weekend and she said she's doing 12 hr days all weekend and all next week for this play she's working on. Rescheduling 2 weeks from now would kill the momentum imo so I tried to convince her to have an early dinner with her friend tomorrow so we can meet up after. She said her friend doesn't get off work until late she we'll have to meet before. I again persisted (should not have done that, looks needy) and she said her friend is really important to her and she can't reschedule for a guy she met off the street.

I caved and said I'll meet her late afternoon. Difficult situation with the scheduling but I definitely came off needy there so I won't be doing that again. Trying to get her to reschedule once is fine but persisting like that just sends off bad vibes.

Post: #3138

@Betanomore what city are you in?

Post: #3139

Updates and approaches:

I didn't heed my own warning and was too excited about the potential leads and the good insta-date. They all went away this evening.

The insta-date girl. Earlier this morning, after I persisted for the 2nd time for her to go do dinner with her friend early (dumb move) and she told me she can't do that for a guy on the street, I said that's understandable and agreed to meet late afternoon/early evening.

Well, as I was driving late afternoon to the city to meet a friend, she texted me saying that she's super sorry and it sounds so unlikely but her production crew asked her to stay late for Tues so not only does she have to cancel our date, but she has to cancel the thing with her friend. She said she's really really sorry.

It sounded believable but there was no attempt on her part to reschedule when both our schedules will match in about 2 weeks. I have enough experience to know that when a chick flakes without an offer to reschedule, I'm done. So I pondered for a bit and made another mistake: I called her because I was driving and wasn't going to text. 2 rings straight to VM lol. I waited about an hour and just texted her something along the lines of "hey it's ok. life gets in the way. Hopefully we can reschedule down the line and if not, it was nice to meet you."


I'm not sure what happened and this baffled me. She was super into me and SHE was the one talking about going on more dates, asking me to call her, and she texted me right away after we parted ways at the end of the insta-date. I've never had a girl show as much interest as she did. Maybe my 2nd attempt to get her to bump her friend was a "red flag." Even if it wasn't what caused her to turn cold, it was a bad play on my part. I should have just went with the flow and said tues late afternoon was fine (I hate afternoon dates but as I mentioned, our schedules didn't match for the next 1.5 weeks and that would kill the momentum). I won't be making this needy mistake again.

I also shouldn't have called her. Who knows what happened though. Really weird to have a chick go completely 180 unless something extremely egregious occurs.

The irish girl and the hot ukranian didn't reply either. It's a little discouraging when I felt the approaches went well and felt that there was good connection and attraction. Makes me really doubt myself wondering if there's just something really wrong with me especially with this 8 month slump (13 no sex). It was nice to get a bit of momentum but then it all came crashing down. Game is definitely not for those with weak resolve.


Did 4 approaches today in the evening as I went into the city for dinner. All blow outs. It may not have anything to do with me but I was pretty low energy given the failed leads and some sleep deprivation. It was 2 white women, 1 brazilian and 1 middle eastern. They all basically said thanks but had bfs or said they had to go.

Going to get some must needed sleep and recharge. Learn from this and pick myself up. Put the happiness in my own actions rather than external circumstances and outcomes. It's easier said than done though given the slump and the desire for sex and affection. I haven't this much difficulty and failure since my 20s and now I'm a waaaay better version of my 20 year old self. I also feel the pressure because I'm in my early 30s now and the pool of women who are suitable for LTRs and to start families with are shrinking with each year I age.

I know a lot of you struggled and those that persisted found the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope to have the resolve to persist just like all you guys have.

Post: #3140

More approaches today.

Converted 50% to numbers, my best yet, all girls were gorgeous. I know its not about numbers but my sets were longer this time, they went well. I tried to take one on an insta date for the first time, she said she didn't know me, asked too early! Just carried on talking, she said she had a bf but was up for meeting up... second girl who has a bf whos given out her number... hes back in italy so f*ck him.

Ive been taking the time whilst not approaching to read more theory, read about challenging and teasing and tried to incorporate this into my vibe. Also been just simply having the stack as an assumption where she was from, worked a charm every time, correctly guessed a girl was from northern greece and another from south of italy.. when I get it wrong I just teased her about it, danish girl I thought was Swedish, I just said everyone thinks the danish are the ones the swedes look down on!

Also been using the yad stop more, think my stop could still use some work, some girls just walk away without me even being able to open properly.

Text all the girls today but none have replied haha. Tomorrows a new day.

Sent a couple of ping texts to bf girl whos in NZ from an earlier approach who I took out, just trying to keep it alive while shes away, shes back next week, looking forward to trying to get into her pants when shes back.

Post: #3141

At the supermarket a 9 wearing a dress. I slid next to her

Hey, I thought you were cute and wanted to talk to you
[with anger] what?
me repeating
About what??
Wanted to get to know you
Sorry. [left]

Pretty standoffish bitch, my heart rate went up. Maybe I should've started with "I like it when people dress up to the supermarket".

There was another girl I couldn't decide whether to approach (appearance-wise)

A 6 with long hair in the aisles
Have you notices weather has become so nice?
We talked about hiking and she being busy. I think I could've got her number but didn't ask for it.

At the cafe while leaving, an 8 with good posture:

Thanks for guarding my stuff (asked her when I went to bathroom)
No problem
Weather is so nice today
Again talked about weather, hiking she having an exam
Hey, you seem cool, would you like to have a drink sometime?
[Looking down then up] I can't have a boyfriend.

I don't know why a big grin appeared on my face then.
Felt an incongruence when said the last line. Maybe shoud've said "Lets celebrate you passing the exam [prophecy] with a drink". I should also be more persistent.

Post: #3142

So I ended up on a date with one of the approaches I did last weekend - the irish chick. This will be an honest reflection of the night's events. She had an 8 face, 6 body. The date went well and I am very good and conversing, making chicks laugh, mixing with some more "serious" topics but not too serious and good with kino. I can read when to escalate slowly. I may have made some missteps at the end though. Not 100% sure though.

Texts kind of went like this:

Me: gave her some nickname, then asked her how adventurous she is

She said she's very adventurous.

Me: I told her that we should do something fun and go on an adventure.

She didn't reply until basically a day later. Said she's terrible at texting people back and she was hung over (). Asked me to do Thurs. I said she seemed like trouble but I'm intrigued because of the accent. Thurs didn't work and she offered another day on the weekend.

- I did not text her throughout the week.

Takeaway

- if a girl wants to see you, even though replies may be slow for whatever reason, she WILL offer you days. Must remember this for next time.

The date

I wasn't enthusiastic about this at all. I've mentioned before that even though I'm on a stupid long dry spell and am bursting at the seams, I do want something more long-term with a solid girl. A girl who travels a lot, gets super hung over, works in the restaurant business is not congruent with my life goals. I was hoping she'd cancel but I sent out a feeler text in the afternoon saying to push it back 15 min because I had something else to attend. She replied. Date was on.

I saw her and she looked and smelled really damn good. Although she wasn't dressed very sexy probably because of the weather, she had the prettiest eyes on a girl I've been on a date with.

I'm not going to go over every single detail but only the general points and some highlights.

First location:

Beer place. Had a beer. Convo was flowing but wasn't anything great. There weren't any pauses or awkward silences. I'd say the convo at this point was more a getting to know each other stage that was superficial and maybe a bit boring. I always sit side by side at bar and her legs were angled towards mine slightly touching them. I made sure to learn in my legs just a tad but not too much. Turns out she gets approached in this city by pick up guys at least 2x a month. I had to play it off and pretend I didn't know it existed. She said she gives them fake numbers but gave me a real one because I made her laugh. I'm guessing it probably helps that I'm dressed well.

Second location

Cocktails. She sat even more towards me but I sat back relaxed. Had my arm on her chair but this time added some low back touching, leg touching. Convo was better. She qualified herself to me. I asked her what type of guys she goes for and then she asked me if what kind of girls I go for and described herself. Good that she's qualifying herself. She was also surprised by my age. And qualified herself saying that age doesn't matter to her because it depends on the connection and asked me if I care about her being so much younger (LOL).

Locations 3 and 4

Live music was location 3. Vibing well. More kino. I told her that we're going to be adventurous and took her hand to the dance floor for a slow song.

When we went to location 4 for the last cockails, I held her hand while walking there.

Final Location and possible missteps

So after the final location, I took her to an area that overlooks the water. Throughout the night, I felt that she was into me because of her body language and how she described me to her friends over text (check in texts saying it's going great and that I'm nice). I was going over in my head whether or not I should push the envelope. Based on my crappy logistics, how she was warm towards me, I didn't feel like I needed to go over board and wasn't going to suggest a hotel... however, I ended up doing something that was the worst of both worlds:

When we walked to the water, I pulled her in and we started making out pretty heavily. I ended up pulling away each time first but she seemed kind of nervous after it but I don't think it was a bad nervous. I asked her how adventurous she was and I think this may have made her take a step back because that obviously implied fucking. I stopped the making out for a bit and we just sat on the benches over looking the water and holding hands. Then SHE started kissing me and we went at it pretty hard. We stopped (or maybe she stopped for a bit).

Then we started walking and she said she should start walking home. I said cool. She said if I was thinking about going home with her tonight, it's not happening. I don't think I handled this great but I laughed and said "going home with me? Not sure what your'e talking about. I live in the burbs!"

We then stood over this bridge type area overlooking the streets and started talking a bit. I may have over-done it a bit and joked around saying how innocent I am (I teased her all night on her being "trouble"). This is where I may be over thinking things but she said something super weird: "ya whatever happens, we'll at least be friends." LOL wtf? I didn't respond to this. When I said that was the first time I've ever done that before (kissing like that), she said "no way, you're too handsome to have never kissed a girl"

I asked her what impression she has of me and she said I'm a guy that knows what he wants. She asked me the same about herself. I said some sort of lame platitude "I can tell that you're at a point where you have a few different life paths and you're not sure which one to go towards." She said "OMG! How'd you know this!!!"

She walked me half way to the train station and said her street was up this way and it's a few blocks up. I offered to drop her off and she said it was okay. I said I may text her again because I had fun and she said she may text me back. We kissed. I told her to text me when she got home safely.

Here's where I may have messed up AGAIN although it's difficult to say. She never texted me back within 20 min so I texted her asking if she's safe. She replied immediately and said "Ya I'm in bed now! are you on the train? "

I replied and said "Yes. I had fun and there's something about you so I'm going to text you again. Going to take a chance here."

No response.

Main Takeaways

- Even though I've been in a slump and my confidence with chicks can fluctuate, I've built my life and my self up enough that I'm comfortable with who I am and the value I bring. My convo skills are really damn good and I have enough experience to know how to escalate.
- Keep it fun but interject some more "serious" stuff like family, and career goals. But always bring it back to fun.
- Kino when she is ready
- Teasing. I teased her and kept it light. I typically will also say something along the lines of "you look innocent but THAT look right there says you may be trouble"
- Laser eye contact. Shows confidence.
- The make outs. This is where I need to figure out what the hell I'm doing. My read was that I wasn't going to get a lay last night. I should have played it this way. In the past, I've blown it by making out too desperately. I was especially desperate last night for affection because I haven't had any action in a long time. Based on my read, I probably should have made out just a little and kept her wanting more. The way I did it, it might have been a bit desperate.

Difficult to say though. I've had intense constant making out where sex and relationships happen. But I think overall, even in those situations where it worked out, less is more. Leave them wanting more.

It's definitely a fine balance though. I'm not going to try to do the lame "nice guy" approach and pretend that I don't want sex. But, depending on the girl, you can't be so overt about it. It's a balance that depends on the girl and requires experience to know how far to push it.

- I worry about giving too much of a "player" vibe especially when I was joking about doing that for the first time. If anything, it might stem from insecurity hoping to elicit a response of "omg you're so good at kissing and you're so smooth!" I'll need to watch this going forward. But I was a little shook when she said she's not going home with me and the innocent stuff was kind of a way to backtrack. I think I over-did it.

- Not sure where I go from here when she didn't reply. I clearly can't double text. I dont think my text last night at the end was a terrible play. I can rationalize it as more "comfort building" after she called me out on the sex thing. But who knows what these chicks are thinking. Since she said she's not going home with me, maybe it was on HER mind. It's always a case by case situation. Only get better reads with more reference experience.

- If this doesn't turn out, I know I will feel a little "down" because of the "rejection" but I know this has no future. She travels a ton, is in the service industry and has a ton of beta orbiters. One of her best friends is a guy. I've been there and done that. Never again. I will never have anything serious with a girl that has close guy friends. Makes it worse with the lifestyle she lives. She's a nice girl but based on her lifestyle, it's not conducive to what I want to build. Let's say she does text me back and we go on another date, do I really want to be with someone who lives such a "free" lifestyle and then get stuck in something for a year and waste my time?

Post: #3143

Approaches from yesterday:

Approach 1

White chick, mid-late 20s. I'm not likely her type as she's an "8+" but looks like a partier and is the type that gets nailed by chads. Was at a drug store getting condoms for my date and she was in the checkout in front of me. We made quick eye contact. She walked to the parking lot and I said eh screw it.

Me: "excuse me, I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi"

Her: "ooh that made my day! What's your name?"

We exchanged pleasantries. Convo lasted just over 5 min. Wasn't the best but wasn't the worst. I ended up talking about our jobs for a bit which I need to get away from. She works in banking and also does make up on the side. Told her I had to get a gift for a dinner I'm going to someone there is pregnant. Asked for her advice.

I said she has a really nice voice, it's really raspy (she probably smokes and takes a lot of pipe from chads). She was super flattered and said I just have so many compliments. I laughed and said "oh no. I never compliment people. I should start throwing insults out now!"

I asked if she was single and she said yes. I got her number. My thumb was kind of shaking which doesn't happen a lot.

Takeaways

- Not much. My approach anxiety is minimal and I force myself to approach now. I'm pretty confident when it comes to approaches. Probably should only go after girls that are my type though.


-----------------------

Approach 2

Asian girl. Looks westernized. 7.5 At a mall.

Came in with weak energy because there was someone walking behind her. Don't think it would have made a difference. told her she was cute and wanted to meet her. I could tell by her body language before I even said anything that it was dead before it started. She rolled her eyes and basically looked like I killed her family or something. LOL


-------------------

Approach 3

White chick. Professional looking. Late 20s maybe early 30s. 7.5

Got off the train walked ahead. Let her catch up.

Me: "excuse me I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi..."

Her: "oh thank you!"

Me: "you seem like you're in a rush to go somewhere. what are you up to?"

Her: "I'm actually going to meet my bf for dinner now"

Me: "oh ok. You have a nice dinner"

Post: #3144

Last week, I was walking to my bus stop. It's a place where one can catch either the city bus or the campus bus. I see a decent looking girl with a tight body and yoga pants, I open by asking if she's waiting for the city bus. Not really an "elderly opener" because it was a real request for information. I arrived a few minutes after my bus was supposed to get there and if it had left I would have just walked home. However, girl tells me she's waiting for the same bus and had been there a few minutes. While we waited, I asked a bit about where she lives, got to talking, found out we know some people in common. We rode together - missed my stop to keep the conversation going, but asked if she wanted to get some coffee some time - no hesitation and an enthusiastic yes, got her number. As a newb I was quite happy with how this went and I gave myself a 9/10 overall.

Feeling good, went to the bar later that night and chatted up some people, men and women, didn't get any numbers but it was still good practice.

Now, I made some crucial errors on the date with bus stop girl but that's a different story.

Post: #3145

Two days ago at a mall in Houston:

First: HB7 working a stand selling pokemon dolls, looked straight up bored as hell and never got any customers or people talking to. Blonde.

Me: "You look bored as hell"
Her: "yeah"

Me: "Is that a new Iphone 7?"
Her: "yeah"

Me: "My friends think I should buy one, but I am not so sure. What do you think about it?"
Her: "It's good"

Me: "Olright, you have a nice night"

She just kept focus on the phone, probably been hit on over 50 times that day. I don't know, but this broke the spell of not approaching for 30 minutes for me. Felt better afterwords.

Older HB8 probably 35-38 standing near a glass balcony, again on her phone.

Me: "Excuse me, is that the new iPhone 7?"
Her: "Yes it is, I just got it."

Me: "I have asking around to see if I should get one or not. My friends really recommend it. What do you think?"
Her: "Well, it was a gift from my husband, before I used android, but this one is so much faster and easy to use."

I tell her thanks and good bye after that.

Asian girl walking out of Bath and Body. I decided to try my friends advice of being more direct.

Me: "Hey."
Her: "Hi."

Me: "I don't usually do this, but I thought you were cute so I wanted to say hi."
Her: (smiles shyly) "Oh... Thanks. I got to go."

She walks off. I didn't go direct the rest of the day after that. But I will try again in the future.

Black girl with tattoos on her back. Really fit. I stop at the map of the mall and wait for her to walk by.

Me: "Excuse me. Can you help me real quick?"
Her: "Hi, sure."

Me: "I am trying to pick a new cologne and I am stuck between two. Could you tell me which one you think is better?"
Her: "Yeah. Ok"

I give her my hands one at a time and as she takes them to smell them, her neutral face turns into a smile.

Her: "I really like that one."
Me: "Why not the other one?"

Her: "I didn't care for that one because the scent isn't very strong. I could hardly smell it."
Me: "That makes sense, what do you like about the other one?"

Her: "It's pretty subtle but loud enough."
Me: "Cool. Thanks a lot."

I will be honest. I chickened out. My head went blank and I just did not know what to do next, despite her smiling and her tone changing. I kicked myself all day for that one.

Last girl of the night, my friends had already gotten 5 approaches, and we were about to leave so I just finished off by approaching the girl attending the kiosk selling shorts.

Me: "Excuse me, is that an Iphone 7?"
Her: "Yes, well actually it's a 6?"

Me: "Oh, see I have always used android, but my friends really think I should switch to iPhone. What do you think? Do you like it?"
Her: "Yeah, it has been good for me so far."

Me: "What do you like about it?"
Her: "Well it's easy to use and pretty fast. But I can't stand how it breaks so easily."

Me: "Oh? As in the screen breaks?"
Her: "Yeah" She explains why it's weak.

Me: "Have you seen the videos of people bending the iPhone 6?"
Her: " No..."

We talk about that

Me: "Where are you from by the way?"
Her: "Venezuala"

Me: "Oh, I have been learning Spanish and I was considering going there in the summer."
Her: "Not a good idea. You are American, so they will kill you."

Talk about travels for a bit, then how she got here (she is a student at the community college)

Me: "I have to get going, but you're pretty cool, we need to talk again."
Her: "Yeah, definitely."

Me: "Let me have your number, and we will meet soon."
Her: "Sure."

My first number ever from a cold approach. Crazy. But I felt really good afterwords.

Post: #3146

Did more approaches today, maybe 5/6, a few of these had boyfriends but didnt really let it stop the interaction. One said I was very confident and social and liked the interaction we had but she had a boyfriend. I dont have trouble approaching, I dont get nervous anymore. I didnt manage to get any numbers, im getting hooked by the girl but seems that this isnt really everything, the girls end up having to go to the gym or make a phone call.

My takeaway from today is to always go for the close! Keep asking myself what if I had asked. You guys had sets you didnt think went that well and you got the number and you ended up taking her out? Im thinking because its not socially normal to stop someone on the street they feel like they have to go but may still be into you as she was hooking etc?

Post: #3147

(02-23-2017 04:02 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  Did more approaches today, maybe 5/6, a few of these had boyfriends but didnt really let it stop the interaction. One said I was very confident and social and liked the interaction we had but she had a boyfriend. I dont have trouble approaching, I dont get nervous anymore. I didnt manage to get any numbers, im getting hooked by the girl but seems that this isnt really everything, the girls end up having to go to the gym or make a phone call.

My takeaway from today is to always go for the close! Keep asking myself what if I had asked. You guys had sets you didnt think went that well and you got the number and you ended up taking her out? Im thinking because its not socially normal to stop someone on the street they feel like they have to go but may still be into you as she was hooking etc?

If she brings boyfriend, ignore, and stack on. If you want to go hard sexy-cad route and make it congruent from the beginning you just want to fuck her, look deeply in her eyes and say slowly "Look, [her name], I don't plan to be you boyfriend." Then stay silent and wait for her response. You can go also a rational way - I sometimes say "Look, boys come and go (instilling dread in her), why don't you give me your number and I'll text you in a few weeks time. You don't have to reply, unless you want to". You have to say it like you genuinely don't care, just putting it out there.

If you feel particularly bold, you can add "I don't want to date you, have your facebook, meet your friends and family. You can keep your boyfriend but I can see it in your eyes that right now you want me."


I got numbers that way, texted, though with the last gambit never had girls to reply. The 'soft' version if they are really hesitant is to have them take you number but the odds are very low and I had no success that way (so far). Still, better than nothing.

Post: #3148

Walked around city centre, got onto a main street tourists frequent, though no girls 7 and up. And bad weather. So frustrating. Still, saw a girl shooting pics in the old town with her biggish camera, had a bubbly ass, approached next to a statue she was taking pics of, she hooked very easily but overall girl was meh, was really on the verge if I should pursue it (which is a bad sign - girls see and feel it). South Italian but it would be very hard to guess she was if it weren't for her thick accent. Friendly girl, actually not a tourist. She introduced herself and shook my hand, then decided to leave. Made the decision for me. Even if I got her digits, wouldn't pursue.

Went into Sainsbury's store next to the main campus and saw a girl all in black, mini skirt, cute face, slim, sexy legs in black tights, red lipstick (her body was screaming ovulation!). She was between the isles, came up, said 'excuse me', a girl scurried a bit away, thinking I wanted to walk pass her. Should've gently positioned her facing me by touching her arm first and looking into her eyes. Anyway, made a few more steps towards her, and re-opened.

And a girl hooked up so easily, I was surprised. I just mentioned she didn't look Scottish one bit as an opener. In fact, was Indian, medicine student but brought up in Scotland since she was a baby. She immediately started to tug and undo her black, thick hair, crossed legs, started asking me what I studied and... I froze. I got so overwhelmed with her interest I completely lost it. Having smoked with a friend earlier on didn't help as felt slightly lightheaded. I got in my head and the thing died down in a minutes time and she excused herself. It was my for the taking and I botched it. Ah well - there's not-so-small chance I'll see her again so can try to re-open... Note to self - if nothing comes to mind, talk about what you see, comment on her clothing, just move the conversation forward, then go for hail-mary close.

Went to Tesco, saw a brunette with a very cute face, black long hair, though she had boyish figure, actually way too narrow hips for my liking. Still, just to practice, talked to her. A Filipina born in Scotland. Wouldn't really bang because of the body but chatted up but she excused herself quite quickly.

The Indian girl was easily a 7 if not more and keen, Filipina, a weak 6 at best and mean. Go figure.

Post: #3149

a few approaches over the past 2 days:

Approach 1: Powerlifting girl who lifts in the gym area of my BJJ gym. Hard to put a ranking on her because she's kind of short and thicker but not over the top. 5.5/10 but definitely overvalued because a lot of the guys are all over her.

It wasn't really a real approach. Super indirect. I've scoped her out on her instagram and she has a ton of huge powerlifting orbiters. I kind of know one of the guys that belongs to her powerlifting gym so here's how it went:

Me: *I was walking to my car she was at her car* Hey

Her: "hi"

Me: *walked towards her* Hey you train at _____ gym as well too right? Do you know _______ ?

Convo wasn't eventful. Just under 5 min talking about her training. I related back and said i did some powerlifting as well in the past a long time ago. She didn't really ask me any questions about myself. It was more of a "friendly" convo than anything. Exchanged names. Said I'd see her around.

Saw her later in the gym and we didn't say anything to each other.

Perceived connection: 2.5/5 (neutral)

Convo fun/flirty factor: 2/5

-------------------------

Approach 2: 6.5-7/10 (maybe higher if done up) 5'10" brunette probably in her early to mid 20s. I was downtown waiting for a friend. She walked by. I wasn't going to puss out. Walked to her side and came at an angle.

Me: "excuse me, I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi"

Her: "oh hey I'm ______."

Me: "i'm betanomore" we shook hands.

Me: "what are you up to?"

Her: "going to ______ (a club)

Me: "Oh you didn't strike me as a girl who clubs a lot."

She told me it was her friend who dragged her in because her friend had some dance event there. I said something about not being into clubs and not having been to that one in years. I told her to be on the watch out for creeps there.

She was REALLY nervous. Almost fidgety, with shifty eyes. I didn't feel much of a connection. The convo wasn't great so I ended it and said "hey, I hope you have a nice weekend"

Perceived connection 2 - 2.5/5

Convo fun/flirty factor 2/5

Notes:

- I've become very calm with my approaches now. I have a calm speaking voice, and I think my approaches are super confident. In this convo, I'm not sure if it was because of a lack of connection or me not being able to steer the convo to something fun, but there was nothing.


----------------

Approach 3: 6.5/10 white brunette early 20s. Definitely less than 6.5 without makeout. Walked by the starbucks I just left.

me: "excuse me...." a bit of a pause "I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi"

Her: *looked at me* "sorry hun"

Not a high energy approach.

---------------

Approach 4: 6.5-7/10 cute dirty blonde chick mid 20s.

I was at a brewery/bar with my friend. I ran into a friend of a friend and his gf. The 4 of us were chatting. I saw this girl sitting alone because her 2 friends went to get drinks. I walked over without saying anything to my group.

Me: "hey excuse me. This is kind of random but since you friends left you, I thought I'd say hi"

Her: *welcoming* "oh hey! I'm taylor what's your name?"

Me: "betanomore" we shook hands

She said something about her name being the same as Taylor swift's and I said "uh oh, that's trouble"

I asked her what she was up to and she said her friends just went and got beers and they were having drinks or something. Just some small talk. I'm pretty sure I asked the lame question of whether or not they come here often (LOL) and we both had been there twice. I told her what my plan was with my buddy.

It wasn't a fun convo but she was welcoming, playing with her hair and smiling. I don't believe I got her to laugh at all though.

In the end, I asked for her number: "Hey, you think I could get your number and I'll contact you and see what happens." I know nothing will come about because I've done enough approaches to know when a girl is not interested. She did the classic slight hesitation before saying yes. This in my experience is almost always a no. The convo lasted just under 5 min and her friends didn't yet come back. I would have been ready for them though.

Apparently the friend of a friend and his gf were super shocked and impressed by the approach. It's definitely a different world out there because most guys don't ever approach and luck into their gfs.

Perceived connection: 2.75/5
convo fun factor: 2.5/5

------------------

Some odds and ends

I've really strengthened my resolve over the past year but at times it gets to me. We went to 2 breweries tonight and all I saw were pathetic hipster white guys who had no essence of masculinity, who were probably 5'10" 145lbs have cute/good looking girlfriends just because they're white. Even many Asian chicks in this city exalt the white man. I saw a cute Asian chick today at one of the breweries on a date with the most pathetic looking guy and of course, he's white.

I know that I'm better than these guys. They're not better looking, their physiques suck, and they're beta cucks but I'm working uphill because I'm asian. I'd say I'm 65% at peace with it and laugh at how absurd this all is and 35% bitter.

I need to rise above this bitterness. The more I give into it, the more I harm myself and the worse progress I'll have with gaming and actually get some chicks. I NEED to maintain and positive attitude, do the best that I can, keep improving and hope that fortune meets me at least 1/4 of the way. There's no other option. Well there is, but I don't want to become that bitter, angry incel that curses the world because I'm better than that.

Post: #3150

(02-26-2017 04:54 AM)BetaNoMore Wrote:  a few approaches over the past 2 days:

Approach 1: Powerlifting girl who lifts in the gym area of my BJJ gym. Hard to put a ranking on her because she's kind of short and thicker but not over the top. 5.5/10 but definitely overvalued because a lot of the guys are all over her.

It wasn't really a real approach. Super indirect. I've scoped her out on her instagram and she has a ton of huge powerlifting orbiters. I kind of know one of the guys that belongs to her powerlifting gym so here's how it went:

Me: *I was walking to my car she was at her car* Hey

Her: "hi"

Me: *walked towards her* Hey you train at _____ gym as well too right? Do you know _______ ?

Convo wasn't eventful. Just under 5 min talking about her training. I related back and said i did some powerlifting as well in the past a long time ago. She didn't really ask me any questions about myself. It was more of a "friendly" convo than anything. Exchanged names. Said I'd see her around.

Good work, puts you in a mood and disinhibits for future interactions. Practice makes perfect.

-------------------------

Approach 2: 6.5-7/10 (maybe higher if done up) 5'10" brunette probably in her early to mid 20s. I was downtown waiting for a friend. She walked by. I wasn't going to puss out. Walked to her side and came at an angle.

Me: "excuse me, I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi"

Her: "oh hey I'm ______."

Me: "i'm betanomore" we shook hands.

Me: "what are you up to?"

Her: "going to ______ (a club)

Me: "Oh you didn't strike me as a girl who clubs a lot."

Nice assumption. Perhaps could've stacked and expand and tease. "[...] clubs a lot... I wouldn't be surprised if you're a librarian. The only thing you miss are those big glasses and an oversized jumper."

- I've become very calm with my approaches now. I have a calm speaking voice, and I think my approaches are super confident. In this convo, I'm not sure if it was because of a lack of connection or me not being able to steer the convo to something fun, but there was nothing.

Don't become too confident because it may across too mechanistic, therefore it will look like you're doing it for the living and girls don't want to think they are one of the many. They want to feel like they are the 'one' . It's good that you progressed so much you really are confident and not anxious about pure cold approach, but it's useufl to actually fake a touch of nervousness, if that's the case.


----------------

Approach 3: 6.5/10 white brunette early 20s. Definitely less than 6.5 without makeup. Walked by the starbucks I just left.

me: "excuse me...." a bit of a pause "I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi"

You sell yourself short with this approach. Offer some value. Uttering this opener doesn't let you run with much else. How about: "Excuse me... I want to tell you something... See, I saw you walk past Starbucks and what struck me is you looked cool but in a weird sense. It is so because of your shoes. They don't match your outfit one bit.

I recommend practising situational openers - post yourself somewhere, be it museum, big supermarket, or busy street, and spend there 30 minutes looking at girls and think how you'd open them, relying mostly on either what they wear, their nationality, or something specific to them. Then, in your mind, create an elaborate assumption stack.

It's an excellent thing to do. No actor performs on stage without rehearsing his role. Same here - it will make it so much easier to any aspiring daygamer to do so, instead of only throwing himself out there with a fixed, boring, and taking value opener. Guess what, if you approach the girl, almost by definition she's cute. She knows that and you immediately get boxed like every other guy. The only exception is, if by coincidence, you fit her ideal or are generically very handsome - but this is not game, it's just getting laid.
[\b]
---------------

[b]Approach 4: 6.5-7/10 cute dirty blonde chick mid 20s.

I was at a brewery/bar with my friend. I ran into a friend of a friend and his gf. The 4 of us were chatting. I saw this girl sitting alone because her 2 friends went to get drinks. I walked over without saying anything to my group.

Me: "hey excuse me. This is kind of random but since you friends left you, I thought I'd say hi"

Her: *welcoming* "oh hey! I'm taylor what's your name?"

Me: "betanomore" we shook hands

Did you try to keep her hand in yours? You can read lots of information from that. Do you remember if her hand was soft or stiff, did she fully grasp yours, did she pull her hand out first, how long did you keep her hand in yours, did she keep eye-contact when shaking her hand? Many people look down. There's a wealth of information within this short period of time.

I strive to hold a girl's hand in mine 5 seconds or more (I think it would become weird over 20 seconds) whilst intently looking in girl's eyes. It shows confidence, shows you're comfortable with touching and it's the very first physical escalation move on the road to controlling her body. I think it's tremendously underrated whereas it's such an easy power move within the first few minutes of initial interaction.


I asked her what she was up to and she said her friends just went and got beers and they were having drinks or something. Just some small talk. I'm pretty sure I asked the lame question of whether or not they come here often (LOL) and we both had been there twice. I told her what my plan was with my buddy.

It wasn't a fun convo but she was welcoming, playing with her hair and smiling. I don't believe I got her to laugh at all though.

In the end, I asked for her number: "Hey, you think I could get your number and I'll contact you and see what happens."

That's excellent, shows you have balls and project zero fuck given attitude. When guys read it, it seems easy to do but actually doing it - it's a whole different world, because you put your self-esteem on the line.

However, I think it's generally a mistake to ask for a number. You don't make a girl commit to anything but giving you a number. What is more important, is to commit a girl to a date. A number is a consequence of this. Better:

- Hey, would you like to get a coffee/tea/drinks with me?
- Maybe (this means, in girlspeak 'yes')
- Nice. Let me take your number.

I know nothing will come about because I've done enough approaches to know when a girl is not interested. She did the classic slight hesitation before saying yes. This in my experience is almost always a no.

This will start to change, so don't rely on your priors in respect of your future interactions. I doubt you've made >1000 approaches? Even if you did, I'd still question whether it is possible to really know when a girls is interested or not. Sometimes weak interactions lead to a strong date and vice-versa. It's a dynamically changing environment. She might be superexcited about your confident approach, but in the evening she will be over it. She might be shy and fell timid, yet being single decide to get out on a date. The moment of truth is when you message them a feeler. If you get a reply, means that your day game has done the job and you're in text game stage aiming for a date game stage. Always push, when daygaming, as far as you can. Probe logistics, perhas idate and SDL is on the table? Also, having more numbers boosts your abundance state, when you decide to text a feeler to six potential leads instead of two.

------------------

Some odds and ends

I've really strengthened my resolve over the past year but at times it gets to me. We went to 2 breweries tonight and all I saw were pathetic hipster white guys who had no essence of masculinity, who were probably 5'10" 145lbs have cute/good looking girlfriends just because they're white. Even many Asian chicks in this city exalt the white man. I saw a cute Asian chick today at one of the breweries on a date with the most pathetic looking guy and of course, he's white.

That doesn't mean it's all rosy. What happens behind close doors, it's rarely a very happy couple. It is what it is. The concept, for example, of justice as fairness is an epistemic one, not ontological. That means, it's an artificially created, and agreed among humans ideal of treating each other in some relevant respects (everyone, at least in principle, being equal before the law, right to equal pay, etc.). Yet, in the raw world of natural environment, due to selection pressures, the lottery makes some winners, some losers. Unjust, as it is, not that much can be done about it. However, it's still so much better than during medieval times where, for example, social mobility where almost non-existent, and interracial relationships strictly prohibited. You were born poor, you stayed poor, you were born rich, you stayed, rich. All in all, if you put some decent work in, you'll get results.


I know that I'm better than these guys. They're not better looking, their physiques suck, and they're beta cucks but I'm working uphill because I'm asian. I'd say I'm 65% at peace with it and laugh at how absurd this all is and 35% bitter.

Most white guys don't have it easy. For example, I still haven't banged a girl this year which puts into question my giving advice out...

I need to rise above this bitterness. The more I give into it, the more I harm myself and the worse progress I'll have with gaming and actually get some chicks. I NEED to maintain and positive attitude, do the best that I can, keep improving and hope that fortune meets me at least 1/4 of the way. There's no other option. Well there is, but I don't want to become that bitter, angry incel that curses the world because I'm better than that.

Agreed. Good attitude, work on that, and you'll build the right frame that will bear the fruit. You're half way there. Ultimately, it's not notches. It's living in accordance with your choices.