Post: #1

Hey guys,
I have been learning game for sometime and one of my weakness was that I was really nice to girls and they will just friend zone me. So I stop trying to be the nice guy and girls have been calling me mean. I know that being called a jerk is a good thing but is being called mean the same as being called a jerk?

Post: #2

I think they're similar. Jerk > mean. It all depends on how its said though. If she says you're such a jerk and smiles, playfully hits you or glares shes getting the gina tingles. If she screeches "YOURE SUCH A JERK" and actually hits you, or crosses her arms and shows negative body language you're screwed.

Mean is more of a shit test when shes attracted to you. If you're being an asshole but with plausible deniability that you're joking and she asks "why are you so mean to me" you're in the clear, usually followed by positive body language etc. If you get an angry "why are you so mean" with negative body language shes not having any of it.

The real test is: does she keep talking to you?

Post: #3

I can see how this is a common issue for nice guys trying to be a dick. Give us examples of the interaction that leads them to call you mean.

Post: #4

u need to give us context. being mean and being a jerk mean nothing to us without context that they're used in.

Post: #5

Dude i have 2 girls call me ASSHOLE daily, and i 100% agree with them telling them something along the lines of "gosh you're a mind reader", and they love being on rotation (not that they know about it ).

I do ON OCCASION use a beta nice guy gesture with these girls, confuses the shit outta them, and they ALWAYS remind me of those times i was "nice" to them....

I'm goin to hell for sure

Post: #6

well one example is when I was hosting a party at my apartment and two girls came by and ask if this was this one my roommate's party. I said that it is but you girls are not allowed in because you are too dorky. They said I was mean and just went it. I was kidding but I guess they did not detect that.

Another time, I was talking to this girl. I was playing that game where you point your finger at her shirt and say you have something on your shirt. When she looks down you flick your finger at her nose. She said I was mean but smiled and continued talking.

I am still a little nervous when I talk to girls and my main problem is when I try to be sarcastic, my tone does not changed.

Post: #7

(06-20-2012 09:37 PM)Tornado Wrote:  well one example is when I was hosting a party at my apartment and two girls came by and ask if this was this one my roommate's party. I said that it is but you girls are not allowed in because you are too dorky. They said I was mean and just went it. I was kidding but I guess they did not detect that.

Another time, I was talking to this girl. I was playing that game where you point your finger at her shirt and say you have something on your shirt. When she looks down you flick your finger at her nose. She said I was mean but smiled and continued talking.

I am still a little nervous when I talk to girls and my main problem is when I try to be sarcastic, my tone does not changed.

Ok roommate party scenario, it depends on your facial expression/body language. They might've taken it seriously. You should've smiled and said something like "i'm fuckin with you, geez you're gullible, go grab a beer!".

Don't use a lot of sarcasm if you're still nervous around girls by the way. Also the finger flicking thing you did, the girl was probably into you if she smiled and continued talking and you probably had good/open body language and fun vibe when you did that.

You gotta relax, always remember how you joke around with your guy friends, and do it to girls. As simple as that.

Post: #8

Tornado have you tried semi smiling while being an asshole? You might need to do this

Post: #9

I tried to smile a little but I end up forgetting and end having a straight face the entire time. If you guys have any other tips that would be wonderful.

Post: #10

The girls you called dorks may have just been bitches. Sometimes lame ass chicks will take offense to what is obviously a light hearted joke. Don't give these types of girls any thought. You didn't blow a chance with them, you just saved yourself a lot of time and effort by discovering their shitty personalities up front. I'm never mean to girls without provocation. If a girl thinks I am being rude to her, really what is going on is shes a lamester with a shitty personality.

Post: #11

Yeah a lot of these girls who get hit on and worshipped 24/7 by lame asses aren't used to a guy fucking around like that. I don't even bother with them because I'm always naturally joking around and talking shit.

Post: #12

Thanks guys. I keep forgetting that I am the prize not them

Post: #13

without even knowing the context I think you need to use psychical escalation more than verbal escalation. Instead of verbalizing that you're better just know it (can only be done by working on yourself). Otherwise you'll come off as an asshole, try hard, etc.

PS. And also what Rio said. Basically, don't hide your dominating, natural male self. If a woman cannot handle that she's going to waste your time anyway.

Post: #14

If they say you're a jerk or something like that, just say "it's part of my charm", or "yes I am, problem?". Just don't let them see you get offended by that, and don't apologize.

Post: #15

Another tip for a nice guy transitioning to more assholish game don't get caught up in all the sarcastic witty banter. Once you get good at it girls respond very positively to it and I tend to latch on to this and overdo it and either a) accidentally insult the girl or b) I don't change my style and it gets stale.

Post: #16

(06-20-2012 09:37 PM)Tornado Wrote:  I am still a little nervous when I talk to girls and my main problem is when I try to be sarcastic, my tone does not changed.

that's the cause. you're bit nervous/shaky inside but you try to push their buttons. there's incongruence between your actions and your feelings. in other words, they see you as a try-hard.

in order to pull this off you have to be unapologetic YET receptive to their subjective perspective (aka calibrated). it's an art

Post: #17

Aloof, uncaring, overconfident, i don't give a fuck= sexy asshole

Spiteful, bitter, extremely sarcastic, overly sensitive = repulsive asshole


It seems to be common for guys trying to transition from ordinary nice guy to sexy alpha guy to have trouble getting the right tone. They tend to swing the pendulum too far into unsexy asshole territory. First learn to calibrate your tone, but ultimately it's all about improving your inner game so that the correct tone will flow naturally without you even having to think about it. At that point, you are no longer acting, you ARE a sexy asshole.

Post: #18

Thanks guys

Post: #19

Girl: "You're mean....."

Me: "What are you talkin' about? I'm the nicest guy you've ever met!"