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how should I approach this young girl
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Sebastian Offline
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how should I approach this young girl
I had to ask questions here.

I met this girl at my store. she was wearing a shirt with martial arts name on it. I told her I used to teach that particular martial arts. it made us to talk to each other.
she said I should come to practice with them. (I took it as just friendly invitation)

First time, she came with friends. second time, she came by herself.
today, she came by herself. she said they were waiting for me to join their practice. we talked little bit and she was very friendly whole time (different than usual chit chat conversation with female customers)

I just watched the movie 'The crush' (alicia silverstone)
she kinds of remind me of a girl like that. Young girl with blonde hair, innocent and pretty face.

I think she could be 19~20. I am 29 so there is a big gap there.

I am not sure what her invitation meant.

here is my question. I don't want to go to that practice (stopped doing that martial arts for a while)
If I ask her to hangout at coffee shop, would she sense I am interested in her and she might back off?

Or should I just go to the practice, get to know her well gradually, become friends, then invite her to hangout somewhere?
(basically invests tons of time)

Let's say you are going after a girl who's a lot younger than you. (not just average young girl)
would you just ask her out like girls around your age?
Or would you be very careful in approaching? like meet her based on some common interest, act innocent (pretending she is just your friend), make her fall in love with you then ask her out?

I am thinking about giving her my # and tell her txt me when you guys practice next time. I am pretty sure she would txt me about the practice. I want to say 'hey sorry I can't go tonight but we can meet at this coffee shop to talk about martial arts after the practice'
thoughts?

I made a big mistake with another beautiful young girl in the past.
(met her at coffee shop and got her number. met her 2nd time at coffee shop. big interest whole time. I held her hand while walking on the street which gave her the impression that I was interested in her before she was comfortable with me)
So I really don't want to mess it up this time.
06-19-2012 06:25 AM
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Perseus Offline
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Post: #2
RE: how should I approach this young girl
(06-19-2012 06:25 AM)Sebastian Wrote:  here is my question. I don't want to go to that practice (stopped doing that martial arts for a while)
If I ask her to hangout at coffee shop, would she sense I am interested in her and she might back off?

Dude i'm 23 and dated women 5-6 years older than i am, so fuck age difference.

My only solid advice for you though is: DO WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE DOING. You don't like the practice shesh, then ask her for a coffee/drink, so what if she knew you're interested in her? it's not like you're gonna go down on one knee, confess to her that she's "the most beautiful woman on earth" and ask her for coffee.

Part of being ALPHA to me personally is doing what I WANT, not what SHE WANTS.

Just don't show TOO MUCH interest like holding hands on 2nd date. Heck when it comes to holding hands, i'd the girl initiate that whenever she wants, even if she did it on the 20th date. YOU ARE THE "PROTECTOR" (in popular evolutionary/psych point of view), so SHE should want to hold YOUR hand.

Again, i wouldn't care about "messing it up" as i won't have any regrets by doing WHAT I WANT.

Keep up the good work, and kudos on the 20 year old blonde!
06-19-2012 07:07 AM
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WanderingSoul Offline
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Post: #3
RE: how should I approach this young girl
She came in twice and you haven't set a date yet, so you already missed two opportunities. Next time a similar situation happens you should say something like "Let's go grab a drink and you can tell me about your club. There's a place right over here. Let's go." be confident and take her for an insta-date right there. She may say yes, and even if she says no, she's going to be taken back by your confidence.

If she says no, then you say "Ok. What's your number? I'll txt you so you have mine and can hit me up next time you are heading to practice. Maybe I'll show up."

Then you have her number and you can run your text game. Depending on her receptiveness, you may be able to set up a date without even going to the class.

You did actually teach the martial art, right? That wasn't you just bullshitting her?
06-19-2012 07:15 AM
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Parlay44 Offline
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Post: #4
RE: how should I approach this young girl
If you feel inside like you're doing something creepy it will leak out in your game and turn her off.
Women are very in tune to any emotions you're projecting. Forget about the age thing. If you're vibing
with her then go with it. The best line to use with younger girls is, "We should hang out sometime". The
number close is implied. Hand her your phone with the keypad screen showing. She'll punch in her number.
Done.

They're also really bad on how the male/female interaction is supposed to work. You have to take control
and call all the shots. They start to figure it out after 23ish.

Team Nachos
06-19-2012 10:31 AM
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Sebastian Offline
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Post: #5
RE: how should I approach this young girl
Yeah I really had a marial arts studio. I know some instructors she might know so....
In martial arts studio, female students kind of idolize their instructor so I thought there would be some possibilities
(I never had women in their 20s when I was teaching. But I know many instructors get married with american women as a foreigner)

anyways, I found out she has a bf through her facebook.

I don't think I should invest time going to the practice with her.
I will just invite her out for conversation and see what happens...

@Rionomad, have you met a girl from your jiujitsu studio? I think you can instantly have an awesome practice there lol
(This post was last modified: 06-19-2012 02:21 PM by Sebastian.)
06-19-2012 02:19 PM
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WanderingSoul Offline
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Post: #6
RE: how should I approach this young girl
(06-19-2012 02:19 PM)Sebastian Wrote:  @Rionomad, have you met a girl from your jiujitsu studio? I think you can instantly have an awesome practice there lol

Hah. There are a few Jiu Jitsu girls, but most are not very attractive. Most are either super manly/sporty chicks, or chicks who do it because their boyfriends do. Not much in the way of young, hot girls in Jiu Jitsu. Other Martial Arts are probably much better for that, as they have way less physical contact and pain involved than Jiu Jitsu.
06-20-2012 12:29 AM
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