Post: #1

Roosh's killer post on the Confidence / Effort spectrum is inspiration for this thread.

He's right- confidence is the one thing that is consistent with all strategies and aspects of game. It's analogous to the grand unification theory in science.

Yes, we need to express confidence, but how is confidence communicated?

My biggest hunch is that it is sub-communicated through body language/actions. I believe that being predominantly emotional beings, girls are more sensitive to these cues than most men (male warriors are more in-tune with this as well).

What is the "language" of confidence?

Post: #2

You are what you do.

Post: #3

I have to call Roosh on this, it's a very unscientific construct ( what exactly does it look like in measurable terms?) which to be measurable at all would have to be broken down to say, relaxation [in terms of blood pressure, whatever] voice modulation, eye contact type, other stuff that's physically definable if you want to start basing behavior plans on it.

These abstractions ( Alpha etc) are useful as shorthand in discussions, but you have to dig deeper to have more than platitudes.

Elderly chat was way more definable, continued discussion(10 min plus) on fairly obvious aspects of an immediate object in the shared physical environment.

The worst and vaguest of these is what many Russian chicks do in personals ads-- say they want " A Real Man." as if that fucking means anything.

Post: #4

I believe that a sense freedom is manifested in graceful movement. It reflects confidence because it is the opposite of threatened gestures. So, any tension that you may have in your body and un-necessary movements will block your expression of confidence.

Post: #5

I'm mixed. Confidence is a feeling, not a skill.

I have felt confident going in, yet got blown out. I have felt unconfident going in and way out of my league, yet succeeded. Some here on RVF have pointed out the easiest way to feel confident is to focus on women below your level, and that if you're really feeling confident going in, you're probably opening girls below the quality you could. (Although they also acknowledge sometimes the pool is thin and the hottest girl is a 6, and your choice is either below you ...or nothing at all. )

I believe rapport is important. But rapport (or vibe) is a skill. I believe presence is important. But that's also a skill. Even listening to the stupid shit people say convincingly is a skill you develop. Putting yourself in the same situation over and over makes the unfamiliar, familiar. And familiarity builds confidence.

I'm tempted to say Roosh is putting the cart before the horse: Feeling confident doesn't magically give you skills or make unfamiliar situations suddenly familiar so you know what to do. But using your skills and being in familiar situations does make you feel confident.

Post: #6

(05-22-2012 06:01 PM)Blackhawk Wrote:  I'm mixed. Confidence is a feeling, not a skill.

I have felt confident going in, yet got blown out. I have felt unconfident going in and way out of my league, yet succeeded. Some here on RVF have pointed out the easiest way to feel confident is to focus on women below your level, and that if you're really feeling confident going in, you're probably opening girls below the quality you could. (Although they also acknowledge sometimes the pool is thin and the hottest girl is a 6, and your choice is either below you ...or nothing at all. )

I believe rapport is important. But rapport (or vibe) is a skill. I believe presence is important. But that's also a skill. Even listening to the stupid shit people say convincingly is a skill you develop. Putting yourself in the same situation over and over makes the unfamiliar, familiar. And familiarity builds confidence.

I'm tempted to say Roosh is putting the cart before the horse: Feeling confident doesn't magically give you skills or make unfamiliar situations suddenly familiar so you know what to do. But using your skills and being in familiar situations does make you feel confident.

Being skilled at something implies that you have a degree of confidence in that skill.

Post: #7

You can have confidence from knowing what you're doing in a given situation or you can have confidence from simply not giving a fuck. If you have BOTH?.......true alpha.

Post: #8

Y'all have probably seen this at heartiste, but I'm reposting here because they talk about confidence as being the number one attractive quality for men.

Post: #9

More on confidence and how it really works for guys:

http://theprivateman.wordpress.com/2011/...-expanded/

Post: #10

Was this beta?
Think about this video, if you are hestitating to approach a woman. See this stare?

Post: #11

(05-23-2012 07:27 PM)void Wrote:  

Was this beta?
Think about this video, if you are hestitating to approach a woman. See this stare?

holy shit

Post: #12

(05-23-2012 07:27 PM)void Wrote:  

Was this beta?
Think about this video, if you are hestitating to approach a woman. See this stare?

Epic, i can't believe lions ran away like cats when 3 skinny dudes approached them.

Post: #13

^^if that aint alpha then i dont know what is

Post: #14

(05-23-2012 07:27 PM)void Wrote:  

Was this beta?
Think about this video, if you are hestitating to approach a woman. See this stare?

Did not kill lion or even attempt to ride it like a bull. EXTREMELY beta

No but for real. It's all about confidence players. You will not get nearly as much pussy if you're not confident. Do what you have to do to be confident. It's different for every guy out there.

Post: #15

I think Roosh clearly talked about this in his book, in which in order to feel like you're the shit and be as confident as possible, try whenever you leave the house to do whatever, to be as completely comfortable and satisfied with the way you look (hair/clothes/etc).

Also i'm not one to follow fashion trends, so i try to deviate away from what guys commonly wear in the summer (for e.g same old nikes/chucks + plaid shorts + v-neck plain black or white tshirt + and RayBan square sun glasses that my grandfather used to wear.....not my style, and to each his own)

This mentality/dress-style in itself grabs some attention, and you'll notice some eyes on you from women which will boost your confidence a lot.

Of course hitting the gym is another common confidence booster.

Post: #16

The lions backed away because they had prior knowledge of the human's ability to kill lions. If anything, this represents social status in the modern world.

Post: #17

(05-22-2012 02:41 PM)EisenBarde Wrote:  You are what you do.

This is the best post on confidence in the thread so far, because there really is nothing more to it.


Aristotle said, "To do is to be", and that is exactly how you get confident at anything. Do it over and over again until you become it.

Then you will just exhume confidence, and others will look at you and say, "How does he do it?"

Post: #18

(05-24-2012 10:05 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

(05-22-2012 02:41 PM)EisenBarde Wrote:  You are what you do.

This is the best post on confidence in the thread so far, because there really is nothing more to it.


Aristotle said, "To do is to be", and that is exactly how you get confident at anything. Do it over and over again until you become it.

Then you will just exhume confidence, and others will look at you and say, "How does he do it?"

Exactly, like they say, "fake it till you make it".

Post: #19

(05-22-2012 06:01 PM)Blackhawk Wrote:  I'm mixed. Confidence is a feeling, not a skill.

I have felt confident going in, yet got blown out. I have felt unconfident going in and way out of my league, yet succeeded. Some here on RVF have pointed out the easiest way to feel confident is to focus on women below your level, and that if you're really feeling confident going in, you're probably opening girls below the quality you could. (Although they also acknowledge sometimes the pool is thin and the hottest girl is a 6, and your choice is either below you ...or nothing at all. )

Just re-read this. I don't believe that there are women above my level. I believe that all women are naturally below me, and the concept of a woman being "out of my league" is a social construct. It is the biggest lie.

I don't think it's good for men to "aim lower." If you want to get good with attractive women, you have to work with them. Otherwise, it's like playing poker without real money: it's not the same.