Post: #1

Gents,

I went out in the hottest area in my small, third-tier city in the great ole US of A. I got in four approaches total, which is not bad. I feel like my AA is eroding.

The last approach I made I was standing at the bar of a high-end Mexican restaurant, ordering a drink. A cute Italian girl kept giving me the eye and moved right next to me, so I asked her what she was drinking. She opened up immediately, and I started gaming/vibing with her. She had a cute friend who kept trying to converse with me as well.

Unfortunately these girls had met guys earlier that night, who were still orbiting. One guy didn't really care, but the other guy was definitely drunker-than-shit and weighed about 210lbs and was 5'10". He became more and more irate as I was just chatting with the girls, even though I was not really doing anything obscene. I felt like the girls were purposefully ignoring these Jersey Shore dudes to talk to me, almost provoking them to react.

The guy started screaming, not to me directly but indirectly, about who do I think I am and I'm going to kill him, etc. Completely unprovoked. He never came up to me directly, so I wasn't too nervous, but eventually I couldn't have a conversation with the cute Italian girl (she's originally from Sicily) and was becoming nervous that the guy would throw a sucker punch, so I bailed. I left shortly thereafter, because I noticed that the bar was 3/4 guys, most wearing really tight Polo shirts with their hats on backwards, drunker-than-shit.

Did I do the right thing? I work out but I'm only 5'11" and 170lbs, so the guy would've likely had won. I figure I was just trying to get over AA and not wanting to end up with a broken jaw.

I used to live in New York City and the bar scene was not like that at all. Much more civilized. Have things changed in America that much? Help me Obi Wan KeRooshi, you're my only hope of salvation from the douchebag mongrels in the USA.

Post: #2

You pussed out, plain and simple.

Getting hit isn't as bad as you think as long as you know how.

Sucks that your bar scene is so bogus, but you had a girls attention and you blew it because of something that DIDN'T EVEN HAPPEN.

Should have put your arm around her, and said very straightforward, "Your friend over there is apparently in love with you. Let's move to a different bar so we can relax."

Post: #3

I think you did the right thing, he sounds like he was really close to violence and thats the last thing you want when gaming a chick. I would have changed my tone entirely using body language/voice tone to show my displeasure, I would then tell her that the dude is harshing your vibe and you're going to go somewhere more conducive to having a good chat/getting to know someone. I would then (depending on how far you got in gaming her) discreetly ask for her number and leave or I would say "lets go to place X" to get drinks/food I've got to go to the bathroom first or make a phone call meet me outside in a few minutes. This way drunkendouche won't see you two leaving together. Shes also complying to your order/you're 'bouncing' her. You're also letting her know that the reason you're leaving is that the guy is a douchebag/ruining your vibe, not that you're threatened by him/his size or aggressiveness.

Post: #4

(04-29-2012 12:08 AM)WesternCancer Wrote:  I think you did the right thing, he sounds like he was really close to violence and thats the last thing you want when gaming a chick. I would have changed my tone entirely using body language/voice tone to show my displeasure, I would then tell her that the dude is harshing your vibe and you're going to go somewhere more conducive to having a good chat/getting to know someone. I would then (depending on how far you got in gaming her) discreetly ask for her number and leave or I would say "lets go to place X" to get drinks/food I've got to go to the bathroom first or make a phone call meet me outside in a few minutes. This way drunkendouche won't see you two leaving together. Shes also complying to your order/you're 'bouncing' her. You're also letting her know that the reason you're leaving is that the guy is a douchebag/ruining your vibe, not that you're threatened by him/his size or aggressiveness.

Thanks WC, I share the same sentiment with you. Turns out as I was exiting the girls were by themselves, looking like they were going to bounce. So, it appears that they eventually told the guys to fuck off, I just bailed too early (I didn't feel like it was appropriate to reapproach, having basically backed down to the meathead dude earlier).

However, when a fucking drunk asshole is breathing down your neck looking to fight, I had to make a decision. In hindsight I should've definitely said that the guy was annoying and that we should bounce to another establishment, so meet me outside in five minutes. Worst thing is that she doesn't show up. I'm completely new to night game so I'm just trying to get my AA taken care of, and then I'm thrown into the fucking fire with this shit. It makes life interesting though.

Cheers!

Post: #5

I do agree with thedude though, but only if the girl assumes you have balls the size of watermelons, if you're being lower energy, chill and throwing out some good jokes/cockyness it would be incongruent to just grab her and say lets go.

yeah rachacha, I'm still newer to night game as I never really went out looking to hook up with girls until this year, and even then I usually am there with a girl or a large group of friends. Practice makes perfect I guess, nothing wrong with bailing under these circumstances especially when you can just go somewhere else that will help you have a better mood

Post: #6

In my experience, loudmouthed, posturing, roided out jersey style d-bags are:

1- all bark and no bite

2- can't fight worth shit

Most, MOST guys who can fight do not go out looking for fights. Fights suck. Cops get involved, people get hurt, nights get ruined. If you did nothing to instigate a fight, then you could have simply put your hands up and said, "Hey bro, you got the wrong guy, start some shit with someone else. Girls, let's bounce."

I should mention, I'm in socal. The scene here is pretty chill. I'm sure if I was actually in Jersey my perception would be different.

Post: #7

(04-29-2012 12:46 AM)thedude3737 Wrote:  In my experience, loudmouthed, posturing, roided out jersey style d-bags are:

1- all bark and no bite

2- can't fight worth shit

Most, MOST guys who can fight do not go out looking for fights. Fights suck. Cops get involved, people get hurt, nights get ruined. If you did nothing to instigate a fight, then you could have simply put your hands up and said, "Hey bro, you got the wrong guy, start some shit with someone else. Girls, let's bounce."

I should mention, I'm in socal. The scene here is pretty chill. I'm sure if I was actually in Jersey my perception would be different.

You nailed that one.

Post: #8

This minority guy (one of those scary ones, I am minority too lol) was giving me a shit.
I told him when she was with his girl 'if you want to talk shit, we can take care of it outside' he didn't say anything.

I am not trying to say 'If I were there, I would've punched that guy' like a keyboard jockey.
If the guy is way bigger than me or looked vey ghetto (might have knife or guns), I would be scared too if we were in the parking lot.
But it's a club. Who's going to throw a punch in a public place. Even he does, how long the fight is going to last?
In that kind of situation, you have a security as a backup. I wouldn't say something like 'hey man fuck off' but I would just act cool and ignore the guy. I actually laugh at those guys because I know they are frustrated with women that night.

Oh Btw, I don't go to those places filled with douche bags, ghetto, jersey shore type guys. Girls who like regular guys won't be there anyways.
I will see those skank type girls who like those kind of guys. I don't like the guys and girls there so there is no reason for me to go to places like that.

Post: #9

(04-29-2012 12:46 AM)thedude3737 Wrote:  In my experience, loudmouthed, posturing, roided out jersey style d-bags are:

1- all bark and no bite

2- can't fight worth shit

Most, MOST guys who can fight do not go out looking for fights. Fights suck. Cops get involved, people get hurt, nights get ruined. If you did nothing to instigate a fight, then you could have simply put your hands up and said, "Hey bro, you got the wrong guy, start some shit with someone else. Girls, let's bounce."

I should mention, I'm in socal. The scene here is pretty chill. I'm sure if I was actually in Jersey my perception would be different.

You took the words right out of my mouth playboy. I've known very few guys who had balls and could fight that went around bumping their gums. Good post.

PUA guy you should take boxing lessons if some dumbass screaming in a bar made you almost piss your pants. Lol at meathead threatening to kill you. That should of let you know then and there that he wasn't going to do shit.

Post: #10

In this type of situation simply have a beer bottle in your hand and keep your eye on him.

Post: #11

Devalue her by saying "is this the crowd you usually hang out with? hmm. interesting."

Drop your # and leave. My guess is she would call you pretty quickly after she made up an excuse to ditch.

This is one of the reasons I need to keep "business" cards with me. For those quick tactile insertion moments.

Post: #12

Probably a good time to get friendly with some local off-duty cops, as a lot of them are really friendly beer-drinking dudes who will help you learn to defend yourself. Not surprised that they did not mess with you since 95% of dudes are dead inside and simply do not fight.

You might want to follow the advice above and take boxing classes. Learn some good combo and defensive type stuff (blocks, ducks, dodges etc), because the confidence gained of it will aid your force projection. There's nothing like sinking hundreds of punches into a speed bag that will help you subcommunicate that you are not to be fucked with. If you're serious though you must spar at least some (which I hope to do some day), otherwise you will always be a clumsy boxer.
While you are not very large, you should learn to get over your fear of physical violence through preparation if it's a problem for you. This is advanced ex-prison alpha type shit and it takes years to do properly, but it is a great and manly past time.

Edit: I hugely enjoy my boxing class, if you couldn't tell.

Post: #13

(04-29-2012 12:46 AM)thedude3737 Wrote:  In my experience, loudmouthed, posturing, roided out jersey style d-bags are:

1- all bark and no bite

2- can't fight worth shit

Most, MOST guys who can fight do not go out looking for fights. Fights suck. Cops get involved, people get hurt, nights get ruined. If you did nothing to instigate a fight, then you could have simply put your hands up and said, "Hey bro, you got the wrong guy, start some shit with someone else. Girls, let's bounce."

I should mention, I'm in socal. The scene here is pretty chill. I'm sure if I was actually in Jersey my perception would be different.

This is what I find.

I'm not a big guy, I'd say I was athletically built. When someone's up in my face I just stay chill, neither angry nor afraid and it's usually enough to defuse the situation.

These kind of idiots are used to people fearing them or wanting to fight them. When they can't read you, they will be afraid of what for them is a totally alien situation, and are unlikely to take the risk.

Just for the record, I have no knowledge of martial arts whatsoever, but I assume I give off the vibe that I do.

Post: #14

Dude gotta hit the gym and learn martial arts.