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Strategies to ditch a LTR?
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cybermutiny Offline
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Post: #1
Strategies to ditch a LTR?
I've been in a relationship for over a year now. I really like the girl, but I like freedom more. Basically, I want to get a flag sweep underway pronto.

What strategies would you guys employ for ditching a serious girlfriend?
04-23-2012 11:14 PM
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calex Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
Don't ditch her, just start banging other girls. She'll either continue being your fuckbuddy while believing she's a girlfriend, or she will leave on her own.

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04-23-2012 11:19 PM
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Vicious Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
Strategies?

How about telling her that you are no longer attracted to her and that you want to see other people?

Girls go through all kinds of weird shot to stir up drama and fabricate excuses around a breakup. Be the better man and just give it straight.
04-23-2012 11:21 PM
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calex Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
That's noble of you, Sir. Mind telling me what's better:

1. Break a girl's heart by telling her that you'd rather fuck Thai 'stutes than her or
2. Keep giving her as much attention as you can while doing your own thing?

From my experience, most girls will manage to rationalize just about anything, as long as you treat them decent, stay discreet and they are in love with you. And they will even be happy enough, at least until they fall for someone who's willing to commit.

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(This post was last modified: 04-23-2012 11:28 PM by calex.)
04-23-2012 11:27 PM
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BortimusPrime Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
If you're evil you could get a male friend to starting flirting with her via text msging, then "find" it on her phone and make an elaborate display of flipping out over it and dumping her on the spot.
04-23-2012 11:30 PM
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CJ Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
Really depends on what type of guy you are and what type of girl she is. Neither Vicious' or Calex's approach is wrong. If you have any respect for the girl, use Vicious' approach, if you couldn't care less about her, use Calex's.

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04-23-2012 11:59 PM
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HiFlo Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
uh, you've never broken up with anyone before?

You tell her your interest has wanned. That you're just not feeling it anymore, and at this point in your life you don't think that you want to be in a relationship.

It's called a conversation. Don't play weird games with her -tell her straight up.
04-24-2012 12:07 AM
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WesternCancer Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
I agree with CJ. Think 5 steps ahead, where do you see her in your life a few months from now, what if shit goes downhill will you want to be able to go back for that ass? I would just use her to practice some relationship game on. Do asshole game for a while, don draper it for a week or two, go beta and see how she responds. Use her as an insight to the workings of a female while you use the knowledge you get from that on other girls
04-24-2012 12:08 AM
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Cyrus
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Post: #9
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
I think the "go beta" thing is stupid. Same goes to the other situations where you manipulate her into breaking up with you.

Girls initiate breakups 95% of the time. If you're the one guy who breaks up with you first, she's always gonna see you as the "guy who broke up with her, not the other way around." That's really the alpha thing to do.

A man's gotta have his principles.
04-24-2012 12:11 AM
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WesternCancer Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
If you're referring to my post I wasn't saying "go beta" to end the relationship, just to test the boundaries of what you can do in a relationship/with women, so he doesn't make a similar mistake with a new girl. Like a practice run or something.
04-24-2012 12:21 AM
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Samseau Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
Put me in the "use her for your own gain" camp.
04-24-2012 12:45 AM
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Blaze Frazier Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
(04-23-2012 11:21 PM)Vicious Wrote:  Strategies?

How about telling her that you are no longer attracted to her and that you want to see other people?

Girls go through all kinds of weird shot to stir up drama and fabricate excuses around a breakup. Be the better man and just give it straight.

Much respect to you, good sir.

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04-24-2012 02:11 AM
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Cyrus Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
(04-24-2012 12:08 AM)WesternCancer Wrote:  I agree with CJ. Think 5 steps ahead, where do you see her in your life a few months from now, what if shit goes downhill will you want to be able to go back for that ass? I would just use her to practice some relationship game on. Do asshole game for a while, don draper it for a week or two, go beta and see how she responds. Use her as an insight to the workings of a female while you use the knowledge you get from that on other girls

I highly agree with this because I'm trying this out right now. The girl I'm with currently responds best to my Don Draper act because I'm strong and masculine, but the next girl might prefer asshole game.

The act that works best gets you laid the fastest, IMO.

I really think the fundamental point to get this insightful strategy to work is that you need to be fully able to turn down sex from her. Why? Because 1. it promotes aloofness, which provokes interest, and 2. you should be turning her down because your balls were emptied by another girl, which also provokes interest, if you're discreet.

Hamster rationale, man. Also I think its to your benefit, if, during her period, you hang out w/ her and act slightly more beta for *one* day. Then go missing the rest of her days off.
(This post was last modified: 04-24-2012 02:23 AM by Cyrus.)
04-24-2012 02:21 AM
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WanderingSoul Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
(04-23-2012 11:21 PM)Vicious Wrote:  Strategies?

How about telling her that you are no longer attracted to her and that you want to see other people?

Girls go through all kinds of weird shot to stir up drama and fabricate excuses around a breakup. Be the better man and just give it straight.

This. Be a man and break up with her in person if you've been with her for a year.
04-24-2012 05:33 AM
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dotbiz Offline
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Post: #15
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
^^ I second that. If she has been good to you she deserves a respectable break-up.
04-24-2012 11:36 AM
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Veloce Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
No girl deserves anything. If she felt like getting gang banged by 5 of your friends, she'd rationalize it in a heartbeat with no remorse. Don't worry about hurting her. Girls are vicious when the tables are turned. Even the sweet ones. Especially the sweet ones.

If you don't like being around her or she annoys you, tell her you've lost attraction and break it off.

If you like being around her and the sex is good, keep her around while you pursue other girls.

Don't pull any shit that tries to get her to break up with you. You'll be amazed at how shitty you can treat girls and if anything, it makes them want you MORE.
04-24-2012 11:51 AM
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King Solomon Offline
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Post: #17
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
"Its been great, but I think I'll get back to doing whatever the hell I want again"


Or you can tell her that you banged someone else, and you want to be up-front about that. You realize she is likely displeased, and likely wants to eject your ass, and you are sorry about that, but you thought it best to at least shoot straight about it.

She will probably either eject you outright for this confession (giving you what you wanted) or the relationship may shift to FWB. If she is attached to you, she'll be hurt no matter what, but she can handle it. She will at least appreciate your forthrightness.

You can also go with "This has turned into a girlfriend thing, and I just don't want to do the whole relationship thing"

you can even explain how you are moving out of state soon and don't want to get attached, or are doing some new endeavor and don't want to be hindered by other responsibilities... or that you are in no place to make promises like 'forever' so you think you can best do her right by turning her loose now, before it gets any worse.

Sloots gon' sloot.
04-24-2012 12:29 PM
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flyfreshandyoung Offline
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Post: #18
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
Break up with her straight up.

Over a year after I broke up with my ex I'm still riding that "o my god you dumped her???" wave.

A dude breaking up with a chick is so rare these days much proof is awarded

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flyfreshandyoung
04-24-2012 02:15 PM
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flyfreshandyoung Offline
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Post: #19
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
Not too mention you'll be able to go back to the well pretty much as you please. Girls you dump rarely will leave your orbit

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flyfreshandyoung
04-24-2012 02:16 PM
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Blackhawk Offline
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Post: #20
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
Sounds like you're in a one-itis position. How much free time do you have away from her that allows you to pick up other girls?

If "little to none", a full break is the only way you'll get any time to find more girls.

"Alpha children wear grey. They work much harder than we do, because they're so frightfully clever. I'm awfully glad I'm a Beta, because I don't work so hard. And then we are much better than the Gammas and Deltas. Gammas are stupid. They all wear green, and Delta children wear khaki. Oh no, I don't want to play with Delta children. And Epsilons are still worse. They're too stupid to be able to read or write. Besides they wear black, which is such a beastly color. I'm so glad I'm a Beta."
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04-24-2012 03:03 PM
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Caligula Offline
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Post: #21
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
If you really care about the girl and you're going for a clean break there are some good tips here: /thread-4924.html

Personally I'd just start seeing other girls and let it fizzle out. That might not work if you're already in full-on relationship mode and she already has certain expectations of how you treat her. If that's the case clean break is the drama-free way to go.

"A flower can not remain in bloom for years, but a garden can be cultivated to bloom throughout seasons and years." - xsplat
(This post was last modified: 04-24-2012 03:29 PM by Caligula.)
04-24-2012 03:28 PM
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el mechanico Offline
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Post: #22
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
Borrow money and push for threesomes. Become a shitty lay works good too for ditching FBs. Tell her you're only into head these days.
04-24-2012 03:39 PM
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cybermutiny Offline
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Post: #23
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
Thanks for the advice. It seems like most people here agree that mind games aimed at making her break up with you are pretty beta. So, the main suggestions are basically split between telling her outright for the need of a breakup and keeping her on the side while you pursue others.

Although the idea of keeping her on the side is appealing, it seems like this could actually be more trouble then it's worth. I'd have to clean my apartment of her things when I brought a new girl over and put them back when she left. Or I'd have to do a CSI-style run to scour my place and make sure the new girl hasn't left anything at my place either. I'd have to maintain a system of lies and keep track of them when I was talking to the old girl and the new girl(s).

On the other hand, a straight breakup seems more clean and straightforward. Thanks for the input.
04-24-2012 07:46 PM
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Cookie Offline
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Post: #24
RE: Strategies to ditch a LTR?
Uh you could still do the flag sweep easy. Just say you need some time to find yourself, leave the country. Hump away and come back with her none the wiser.
04-24-2012 07:51 PM
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