Post: #1

Here is the situation:

I recently had a "Mini-Relationship" (which is a new concept I have been working on) with an dope Argentinian girl.

The issue is, she fell way to hard. Wants to marry me and all that.

The thing is, she is actually a great girl, super sweet, cool (slightly demanding, but that is par for the course), young, stylish, intelligent and classy. Her family is super cool and was extremely welcoming to me (which I have tons of respect for). I basically got myself in too deep. And I don't mean that 90's white rap duo from Vallejo, CA either. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVtRyrOaoZA

I actually would date her, but I have so many things cooking, have another trip coming up, and frankly Argentina is not on my travel schedule anytime soon.

I tried to go "radio silence" on her (which is the best way to go with American girls in my opinion) but I have been getting periodic emails and I can tell I really hurt her, which is honestly never my intention.

What do you guys do in these situations?

Do you just continue "radio silence"? (I don't really need this negative energy hanging over me. I like to keep all my accounts clean.)

Do you "talk it out" (which could be a nightmare)?

Thoughts?

Side notes:

I know I seem "soft" for writing this. Who knows, maybe I am losing my edge? I don't really care, but I definitely hate hurting people. (An advantage of going out with American ADD girls).

Don't respond with: "That's Argentinian girls for you". She is not like a typical Argentinian girl. She is actually super cool, and I would actually date her if I was living there.

How do you guys usually handle this?

Post: #2

Update:

I actually referred to The G Manifesto (where most of the worlds questions are answered) and I have written on the subject before: How to Un-Pick up Girls .

Unfortunately, that was written more for American girls. And those tactics won't work in this situation.

Also, I made a mistake on "Never two nights in a row" since it was a "Mini-Relationship".

I hate when I don't follow my own advice.

And suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Post: #3

This is the exact line I used to ditch a girl a few weeks back:

"My life is just to crazy right now, I've got a lot going on and I'm in no position to be responsible for someone else's happiness"

She apologized to me after that.

Chef In Jeans
A culinary website for men

Post: #4

Quote:What do you guys do in these situations?

Do you just continue "radio silence"? (I don't really need this negative energy hanging over me. I like to keep all my accounts clean.)

Do you "talk it out" (which could be a nightmare)?

With non-American latin women I've found the best approach to be more direct and abrupt than giving excuses, "radio silence", or "talking it out." Tell her how you feel and that it's over. Don't let her drag it out, but let her say what she needs to say. You just need to be extremely firm and approach it as you would any professional or financial relationship (i.e. without the intention to burn bridges).

Post: #5

Those are both great pieces of advice.

I probably should just go the honesty route, and tackling it head on actually suits my personality better.

Anyone else with any thoughts on the matter?

Post: #6

Maybe this is one for the bad girls, but I always wanted to tell a girl i cant see her anymore about 20 seconds before she orgasms as an experiment

For the Argie girl why not just tell her you dont want to be tied down? There is really no argument against that, and she probably wont take it personally then. GL

Post: #7

always leave them better then you found them. let her know how wonderful she is and that you enjoy the time you spend together, but you're not in a place in your life where you want anything serious. she may not want to hear the truth, but she will appreciate it (maybe not immediately, but at some point)

Post: #8

This is a problem I constantly have because I am particularly attracted to young, innocent girls, yet I don´t want a girlfriend, so usually I just go radio silence and feel a bit bad about it.

By the way, I laughed hard about you reading your own blog for advice.

Post: #9

Hey G, is nice to hear that you actually care not hurting people/her. I guess the good way out would be ''the talk'' option. Sets everything clear, nothing is misunderstood, it can get ugly but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Post: #10

Yeah with good girls the honesty route is best.

I've had to tell some sweet as hell girls that they're great, but I just didn't feel the same way about them that they did about me. They cry, but it's the best no BS way to deal with it.

Just be clear from the very beginning, it's not a discussion about your relationship, it's you telling her it's over.

Post: #11

Wait, you said Argentina is not a place you plan to go back soon. So are you saying she lives in Argentina? If so, that would seem a no-brainer getting out of just because of the distance. Not sure if that's what you meant, of if you meant she is an Argentine living her who plans to move back there. Can you clarify?

Sometimes though, the best offense is a good defense. All that can be preempted by being honest upfront. If you aren't looking for anything serious, just say so. I don't see any reason why we guys have to lie about our intentions. I'd have no problem telling any girl that "I'm busy, like to travel for extended times and enjoy my freedom for the moment. One day I may have kids and a big mortgage(let's her know you may at least be open to the idea of something serious), but for now I'm just taking my life a day at a time and getting in a serious relationship isn't where I'm at this moment." As long as you put that disclaimer out there, any hurt feelings are no fault of yours.

Don't worry about going soft. A few years ago I broke things off with a girl and she cried so hard on the phone it haunts me to this day. No need to cause that kind of pain if you can avoid it by being upfront.

Post: #12

Great advice so far. I like that one Brian.

Speak -

She lives there.

I still don't want a "messy account" on my ledger, regardless of distance.

Post: #13

I just edited my reply btw. Yeah if she lives down there, and you live up here, I don't even think you'd have to make something up. Just the impracticality of having something serious work out with a girl on the other side of the planet is reason enough.

Post: #14

I've used a similar line to Chad's "My life is just too crazy right now" - it's a smoother version of the old "it's not you it's me" line. Works well because girls know I'm always on the move and lead an unpredictable life.

A couple of mistakes I've made in the past:

- Getting drawn into long winded conversations about it. Only made the girl feel worse; it gave her the idea that she could do something differently and possibly win me back. Now I make it clear that my mind's made up and that there's nothing to discuss. A long winded talk about it only makes her feel worse no matter how much she thinks she wants it.

- Disappearing on good girls. A couple of them kept trying to reach out and I wish I'd ended it more cleanly for my own sake and theirs.

Post: #15

That is some more great advice.

Thanks guys.

Yeah, my big error was letting it get to heavy to quick.

I guess this is a downside of the "Mini-relationship"

I really need to ease back on my Game.

Post: #16

Why not just do nothing about it and bang the snot out of her every time you go there? Thats kinda far away to worry about no?

Post: #17

el mechanico -

I just keep getting almost daily calls and emails, which remind me.

I need to get this off my plate.

Believe me, if I could "back burner" this one I would.

Post: #18

G,

We are supposed to be asking YOU these types of questions!

Man! You got a little too close to this one. You sound a little broken hearted, which is normal and natural and nothing to be ashamed of. This is part of the playboys life. Sometimes we think we are immune to these kinds of emotions and then BANG!, we meet a beautiful young girl who is so sweet and lovely to be with. Sometimes falling in love is so easy, we forget about our playboy ways and get swepped up in the beauty and romance. (for a few weeks)

You never wanna let things get this far but sometimes we let our guard down for just a few days and it happens.

Unfortunately, broken hearts occur. Its the dark of the Game.

I always try to let them off as easy as possible. Something like this...

(06-06-2011 11:08 PM)Brian Wrote:  always leave them better then you found them. let her know how wonderful she is and that you enjoy the time you spend together, but you're not in a place in your life where you want anything serious. she may not want to hear the truth, but she will appreciate it (maybe not immediately, but at some point)

Then I go into what I call the "post mini relationship buddy period". (a term partly borrowed from you)

This is where we talk a few times a week and hang out a little and basically I just make sure that the girl is feeling ok about the whole thing and is not suicidal. I keep her in good spirits and a use some Jedi mind techniques to convince her that breaking up is the right thing to do. I tell her that love for herself is more important then love for a man. Stuff like that. I try to keep things positive and humorous and get her feeling good about her future. I want her to feel beautiful and empowered as she leaves me.


I would just never call her again but I think that is bad for the Game. If you do that, you are making it harder for all the other guys who come along after you. I don't want to ruin women, I want to romance them.

I would just tell her the truth. That you want to be her friend but you are not in a position in your life to get involved in a serious romance. Be gentle about it and little by little you can see and speak to her less and less. Sooner or later, she will meet someone else and she won't need any emotional support from you.

Good luck. I know this shit is tricky.

Ironically, I was just about to post a question asking..."Is it possible to be a player without breaking hearts".

Also ironically, I often refer to your guide, "How to Un-Pick Up Girls". (The "2 days in a row" rule is big, like you mentioned)

I'm about to start reading Hugh Heffner's autobiography which might have some insight on this topic.

Post: #19

Timely thread. Just broke with a girl and it's the toughest thing. Can't handle the tears and it makes me feel like shit for a few days.
I thought I cut it early but not early enough for serious feeling on her side to develop.
Gonna move 'the talk' to date 1 or 2 in the future. Getting too old for this shit as Danny glover said in lethal weapon.

Post: #20

(06-07-2011 02:43 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  This is where we talk a few times a week and hang out a little and basically I just make sure that the girl is feeling ok about the whole thing and is not suicidal. I keep her in good spirits and a use some Jedi mind techniques to convince her that breaking up is the right thing to do. I tell her that love for herself is more important then love for a man. Stuff like that. I try to keep things positive and humorous and get her feeling good about her future. I want her to feel beautiful and empowered as she leaves me.

That's a good way to deal with it for those of us who lean toward the "nicer" end of the spectrum. Probably about the best way to do as least damage as possible. There is always going to be some damage no matter what though just due the inherent differences in male/female sexual nature. When a woman with any value for herself sleeps with a man, she is giving him a part of herself she can never get back. At a certain point, she may have given away so much of herself to men that she will feel cheap and then you have a damaged good for life. That's why I don't believe in playing games(and there's a difference between playing "the game" and "playing games") and lying.

Post: #21

(06-07-2011 04:59 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

(06-07-2011 02:43 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  This is where we talk a few times a week and hang out a little and basically I just make sure that the girl is feeling ok about the whole thing and is not suicidal. I keep her in good spirits and a use some Jedi mind techniques to convince her that breaking up is the right thing to do. I tell her that love for herself is more important then love for a man. Stuff like that. I try to keep things positive and humorous and get her feeling good about her future. I want her to feel beautiful and empowered as she leaves me.

That's a good way to deal with it for those of us who lean toward the "nicer" end of the spectrum. Probably about the best way to do as least damage as possible. There is always going to be some damage no matter what though just due the inherent differences in male/female sexual nature. When a woman with any value for herself sleeps with a man, she is giving him a part of herself she can never get back. At a certain point, she may have given away so much of herself to men that she will feel cheap and then you have a damaged good for life. That's why I don't believe in playing games(and there's a difference between playing "the game" and "playing games") and lying.

What I wrote above is my policy for dealing with "good girls".

When it comes to "bad girls". Its a different story. If a girl does not give me any respect then I will not give her any.

And, I like what you said about the differences between "playing games" and playing "the game". These are 2 different things. We can have Game without "playing games".

I think guys that do damage to "good girls" are actually doing a disservice to the Game, because they are making that girl more of "man hater" and making her bitch shield stronger.

Post: #22

I did it.

And it worked!!!

Thanks everyone on here for your help. +1 to all.

The crazy thing is, she was so damn cool about it, I feel like even more of a jacka*ss! Ha.

Maybe I am making a mistake...

Oh well, all my accounts are cleared up!!!

I feel a million times better.

Back in full effect.

Post: #23

(06-06-2011 07:52 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  I tried to go "radio silence" on her (which is the best way to go with American girls in my opinion) but I have been getting periodic emails and I can tell I really hurt her, which is honestly never my intention. What do you guys do in these situations?

Honesty is the best policy, my friend. Just be cool and tell it like it is. I don't think lying does anything for anybody. People deserve the truth. Tell her how you really feel, hug her, apologize, walk away. That's it. She's still going to be screwed up, but you can't do anything about that. Best you can do is leave something positive at the end.

(06-06-2011 07:52 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  (I don't really need this negative energy hanging over me. I like to keep all my accounts clean.)

I respect you for saying this.

(06-06-2011 07:52 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  I know I seem "soft" for writing this. Who knows, maybe I am losing my edge? I don't really care, but I definitely hate hurting people.

Being "soft" is what makes you human. It separates you from machines and animals. I never understood the tough guy crap around here. Not wanting to hurt people is an admirable trait. It means you're an aware human being who has a developed sense of maturity and compassion. There's no reason to want to hide that or downplay it.

Post: #24

"I like you but I don't think we're a good fit for a relationship." This list a couple token reasons why you feel that you're different from here.

Post: #25

Nice to hear that G, lay down the report!