Post: #226

Had a great weekend of sex that ended up having to walk to the pharmacy to get a morning after pill. At least she took it.

Post: #227

+1 with her younger brother watching tv outside her bedroom at 4pm. Almost got killed on the date, she drove her go kart into and over me injuring my shoulder and stopping before my head.

Post: #228

(07-16-2012 07:37 PM)Aliblahba Wrote:  Had a great weekend of sex that ended up having to walk to the pharmacy to get a morning after pill. At least she took it.

She purged it before it kicked in.
#crazygirlfriendmeme

Post: #229

Online girl last night.....

I messaged this cutie online about a week ago and we went back and forth for about a day then she gave up her number. I texted her and she would text back about 20 messages ranging from excited to lose my number within 10 minutes. A real nut job. In typical emech fashion I stuck with it because we all know the crazier the bitch the better the lay.

She wanted to know where we were going to meet a day and advance and was going batshit crazy over me being indecisive and I settled on a tiki place on Tampa bay half way between our houses. I told her the sushi bar nearby and switched at the last minute. I was late and she was sitting inside drinking a tea when I showed up. I sat down ordered a drink and tried to get her one and she wasn't having it. no problem.

She said "I told you this place sucks I used to live here and this is the second time you didn't listen to me. I'm counting. I was so nervous today look at my hands(shaking) and didn't eat just drank energy drinks all day" This girl cute, juicy ass, high boots but is a wreck. Not a crack ho type just a nervous overthinker type. I said lets grab a bite to eat someplace and took her to a little Thai or chinese place down the road I'm not sure which it was but I got a bunch of those little hot chilis and put then in her food while she was in the bathroom. She was sweating and shaking after that and I was sucking down Changs and fucking with a bowl of soup.

After all that I asked her if she wanted to go for a drink and play some simucast at the Horsetrack. She was down and it was on the way to my house so she followed me. I told her to pick three numbers while I grabbed a rum and coke and I played Quin box and her numbers hit the first race for 80 dollars. I went and collected the money and played two more sets of numbers with 9 minutes to post and dragged her outside to watch me smoke and drink rum. She started telling me her ex calls everyday blah blah.

Second race was a bust so I said let's get out of here. I was even money on the night and decided it was time. She starts talking about being sleep deprived so I said ya know what? I'm going to do you a favor. I have a brand new mattress and you can get some good solid sleep at my
house. I walked her to her car and told her to follow me. She bit. We get to my house and I brought her to my room and gave her a pair of my shorts to sleep in and the remote. I walked out to my bar area like I was done with her for the night. And waited. Three minutes later she comes out "Your just going to leave me?" I told her to go back and lay down. I followed her in layed next to her and started flipping channels.
She move a little closer and I kissed her and licked my finger and rubbed it inside her ear. I felt her do 'the shake" and went for her shorts. It was over.

Post: #230

Nicely done e-mech, Is it me or your prose is just better , way better in the lay reports, Seriously ! I mean you write way more fluidly when describing the fuck story

Didn't you give Fisto a boner in an earlier lay report post # 222 ?

Post: #231

(07-16-2012 07:37 PM)Aliblahba Wrote:  Had a great weekend of sex that ended up having to walk to the pharmacy to get a morning after pill. At least she took it.

How much does plan b cost in DR? In the US it's $50 ($25 at planned parenthood). Pure robbery.

Post: #232

40$ in Croatia (even bigger robery, considering that our GDP per capita is 35% of yours). AND you have to visit a doctor for a prescription first!
What can I say, we're a depraved but nominally "highly religious, traditional and Catholic country".

Post: #233

(07-19-2012 12:43 PM)Lothario Wrote:  Nicely done e-mech, Is it me or your prose is just better , way better in the lay reports, Seriously ! I mean you write way more fluidly when describing the fuck story

Didn't you give Fisto a boner in an earlier lay report post # 222 ?

I'm getting better with my writing. It's helping me with my online slut openers and pissing off my facebook peeps.

The average Joe doesn't write as good as the guys here.

Post: #234

I came across these +1 panties and thongs recently, love the idea of giving them to a girl after sex.

http://www.cafepress.com/feminismrules.670867686

http://www.cafepress.com/feminismrules.670868989

Post: #235

(07-19-2012 10:41 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  Online girl last night.....

I messaged this cutie online about a week ago and we went back and forth for about a day then she gave up her number. I texted her and she would text back about 20 messages ranging from excited to lose my number within 10 minutes. A real nut job. In typical emech fashion I stuck with it because we all know the crazier the bitch the better the lay.

She wanted to know where we were going to meet a day and advance and was going batshit crazy over me being indecisive and I settled on a tiki place on Tampa bay half way between our houses. I told her the sushi bar nearby and switched at the last minute. I was late and she was sitting inside drinking a tea when I showed up. I sat down ordered a drink and tried to get her one and she wasn't having it. no problem.

She said "I told you this place sucks I used to live here and this is the second time you didn't listen to me. I'm counting. I was so nervous today look at my hands(shaking) and didn't eat just drank energy drinks all day" This girl cute, juicy ass, high boots but is a wreck. Not a crack ho type just a nervous overthinker type. I said lets grab a bite to eat someplace and took her to a little Thai or chinese place down the road I'm not sure which it was but I got a bunch of those little hot chilis and put then in her food while she was in the bathroom. She was sweating and shaking after that and I was sucking down Changs and fucking with a bowl of soup.

After all that I asked her if she wanted to go for a drink and play some simucast at the Horsetrack. She was down and it was on the way to my house so she followed me. I told her to pick three numbers while I grabbed a rum and coke and I played Quin box and her numbers hit the first race for 80 dollars. I went and collected the money and played two more sets of numbers with 9 minutes to post and dragged her outside to watch me smoke and drink rum. She started telling me her ex calls everyday blah blah.

Second race was a bust so I said let's get out of here. I was even money on the night and decided it was time. She starts talking about being sleep deprived so I said ya know what? I'm going to do you a favor. I have a brand new mattress and you can get some good solid sleep at my
house. I walked her to her car and told her to follow me. She bit. We get to my house and I brought her to my room and gave her a pair of my shorts to sleep in and the remote. I walked out to my bar area like I was done with her for the night. And waited. Three minutes later she comes out "Your just going to leave me?" I told her to go back and lay down. I followed her in layed next to her and started flipping channels.
She move a little closer and I kissed her and licked my finger and rubbed it inside her ear. I felt her do 'the shake" and went for her shorts. It was over.

This could have been written by Bukowski, except for the internet stuff obviously.

Post: #236

Broke a 6 1/2 week drought, which had been my longest for about 7 years.

Very average sex, but it was a SDL from the internet in a total of 7 hours.

Back in the game and celebrating with chicken wings and coke.

Post: #237

Night before my 17th birthday. Four lock and southern comfort. 5 chicks and three guys. Zero competition. Met this asian chick who goes to another school for the first time. She's giving me eyes across the table all night. As we all head off to bed I grab her and tell her she needs to walk me to my bike because I'm afraid of the dark. We make out. Then I go lay down in the bed she's sleeping in and she joins me. She blows me then says she wants me inside her. We fuck for a while but shes getting sore so she finishes me off in her mouth then asks if I want her to swallow. Hell yes. My first one night stand in the wee hours of my birthday. I didn't know her name. She likes that I ride a motorcycle.

Post: #238

Decent face, nearly perfect body. My first squirter.

Met the girl through a friend, but only talked a few minutes. She was flaky over text, but I played it slow and easy. I decided she had one more chance, but then she invited me to a movie with her friends. I didn't bother responding, and wrote her off as a prospect, but then she asked what I was doing the next day. I told her to meet me at a chill bar near my house.

I've been following Tuthmosis's first date recipe lately, and it has really upped my success rate. Of the four times I've used it, I've gotten the bang three times on the first date. This time it went down the way he describes it verbatim. After some light resistance at my house, I get it in, and everything's going great until...

She stops me mid-fuck. I play it cool, don't get upset, and build a little more comfort. She feels weird hooking up with someone she just met. I say it doesn't take long for me to know if I like someone and how it can be fun to be spontaneous sometimes. After much more resistance, I start massaging her back, climb on top, and slip back inside that sweet little body to finish what I started.

Have you guys ever had a girl make you stop after you already started having sex? How did you handle it?

Post: #239

@Guacamole- Same happened to me, but I'd already banged her previous. We were going at it, and she made me stop. Her body was convulsing from orgasm. She tries to stand up, hits the wall, and falls back on the bed.

She was so worked up I couldn't even touch her. Finally she calmed down and went to the bathroom. Upon returning she laid on her stomach so I could finish from behind. About 5 minutes into she starts pounding her fists on the mattress, and almost takes a swing at me. Then the crying starts. Obviously I cease and desist. Now's she's bawling saying "permisio" and "pardonme".

I hold her trying to defuse the situation, as now I'm worried she's gonna run off crying rape. Things settle, and we start again so I could finish. Later she writes on google translate "I think I'm going to die from all the chukky chukky."

I honestly have no idea if it was b/c she has been sexually assaulted, I was hitting it too hard, or the sessions were too intense. Still, not bad for an old guy to over pound a 22 y.o. I still got swag!!

Even after all that drama I'd still hit it again.

Post: #240

(07-25-2012 01:57 AM)Guacamole Wrote:  Decent face, nearly perfect body. My first squirter.

Met the girl through a friend, but only talked a few minutes. She was flaky over text, but I played it slow and easy. I decided she had one more chance, but then she invited me to a movie with her friends. I didn't bother responding, and wrote her off as a prospect, but then she asked what I was doing the next day. I told her to meet me at a chill bar near my house.

I've been following Tuthmosis's first date recipe lately, and it has really upped my success rate. Of the four times I've used it, I've gotten the bang three times on the first date. This time it went down the way he describes it verbatim. After some light resistance at my house, I get it in, and everything's going great until...

She stops me mid-fuck. I play it cool, don't get upset, and build a little more comfort. She feels weird hooking up with someone she just met. I say it doesn't take long for me to know if I like someone and how it can be fun to be spontaneous sometimes. After much more resistance, I start massaging her back, climb on top, and slip back inside that sweet little body to finish what I started.

Have you guys ever had a girl make you stop after you already started having sex? How did you handle it?

A girl who was into me all night at a party walks me into my room after getting out of the spa. She then took her top off, while I took her pants off. I get about 2/3 thrusts in and she stops me and goes "OMG I can't do this," gets up and walks off.
How I handled it? I was so drunk that it took me about 5 minutes to slowly piece together what had happened. I just laid in bed confused for about 10 minutes after, then grabbed a beer and went to sit by the fire out back with a couple of mates.

Post: #241

+2, Monday night.

Started out with a bad internet date. So sent some texts, which led to Girl 1.

Girl 1: 2nd date, online girl. No resistance, bang.

Girl 2: After girl 1 left, went out solo, met some german chick who was visiting her dad in NYC, and was out with her Dad that night. I'll write this up in more detail later, but with some extreme effort and a little luck, the dad left her with me. Bang. First german flag, quite hot too.

I love NYC.

Post: #242

Well I +1d again last night. Another winner from POF. You're gonna love this one Basil Ransom.

I started chatting with this Latina looking chick on POF a week or so ago and got her number blah blah.

She told me in the beginning of the week that her car blew the clutch and she was considering scrapping it so I told her to send me a picture and I'll sell it. I put it on Craigslist for about what I'd sell it for it's really not worth fixing so last night I decided to pick her up.

I pull up to her house and her sister is sitting in the driveway front door wide open they're both in and out of the house every two seconds typical Tampa girls. The sister was smokin hot the girl I went for was a 5 but a high six in her pictures. Ass, tits were inline cute face the sis was complaining she was worn out from hitting happy hour her feet hurt from her shoes blah blah. I was going to try and pull a parlay reversal but I wasn't feeling it...

I told her to hop in the car and we started driving while we were going she said the Casino had some new slot machine there she saw on Facebook and since we were only a couple miles away I said sure lets try it out and have some drinks. We walked in and went to the bar. I was explaining to her what the kiss of death on a card table was. Asians. More specifically an Asian female dealer. You're done when she shows up.
She was having fun and running into people she knew from High school left and right. We went to the bar and she orders Vodka and coke. Vodka and coke? Wait a second.....I know what kind of girls drink that. Tampa sluts! Here we go!

I was keeping the drinks flowing and teaching her how to play some stupid games. We played a couple hands of war and she told me she plays poker on Facebook. She sent me multiple request there and I told her I never got them so I asked do you want to play poker? She wasn't keen on it so I said lets play three card poker. I sit down at an all girl table two latinas and she spoke some spanish with them. Second hand in I pull a straight flush @ 50 to 1 so about 550 dollar hit. I started flirting with the other girls while getting her some free drinks. I think she was on her 6th at that point I gave everyone at the table ten bucks and bounced back to the bar.

We played some blackjack and left around 1130 or so and she wanted to go to Dallas bull country bar and I said fuck no lets get closer to where were going like a little dive bar closer to your place. We go to this liquor store with a decent sized bar that looked like it's been there since the 50s. I was shocked at the talent in there. Girls alone drinking dressed up and some strippers flowing in and out. I was surprised that the people were calm. Where I live we fight nonstop for some reason. Anyway were drinking and she was talking about some dude she was dating and was mad at because he was supposed to some handyman work for her mom and blew her off and about 5 minutes later her high school sweetie walked in. All of a sudden she starts asking me to make out and shit she started telling me that he wouldn't marry her and he would assume that I was a Jew. What?? Yeah my sister asked too if you were and told me to double check. Mind you I'm wearing a Greek cross around my neck and she went into some church rant and how I still might be and that's just not going to fly with her while she's rubbing my cock under the bar. I said let's go and hit the package and grabbed a bottle of Vodka.

So, we pull into her driveway and she was telling me about this beach she wanted to hit and drink at. It's 1:30. "I want to go to silver beach and fuck in the water!!!!" "If you want to fuck all night you'll take me there!!" What? You want me to swim in an Alligator infested lake at night huh? Listen! lets make a drink and we'll see. Let's grab a cab there. I'm thinking fuck no but not wanting to argue. We went inside and I started thinking about the sister and went into the bathroom to take a leak. I didn't lock the door and she walks in and pulls her pants down and sits on the toilet while I'm pretty much holding my cock still. I thought why not? So I shoved it in her mouth while on the toilet after a little while of this I pulled her off and smashed on the couch. Twice. I got hungry about 4am and took off grabbed some food and headed home...

Post: #243

Another great bang story by e-mech, why don't you write 30 bangs by the Mechanic I'm being serious, there is just a different flow in your bang stories.... Keep em coming....

Post: #244

Quote: Mind you I'm wearing a Greek cross around my neck and she went into some church rant and how I still might be and that's just not going to fly with her

Post: #245

She just left my house and is already 7 months pregnant.......

So, tired from work and hooking up with a colombian thurs night, i called an ex-gf who is 7 months pregnant from a guy who doesnt want to get married. Face is a 7 but pre-pregnancy body a solid 9.5 to me. Knowing that women in the last trimester tend to be very horny, and cant get any more pregnant, i invited her to see spiderman at the movies but she needed to come to my house first and then i would drive to the theatre. After the movie and back at my house, i took the blunt approach and just told her i wanted to have sex and how she deserved a treat herself. I felt like Dr Troy from Nip Tuck but I also find the honesty in just asking for sex instead of telling them some BS line to be incredibly more satisfying and without the normal guilt.

Sorry i didnt post thurs night. Mid session her poddle jumped on the bed and licked my butt. Check one more thing off my bucket list.

Post: #246

+ 1 in NYC , same girl I wasn't able to close 3 months ago , finally got the closure details later ......

Happy hunting brethren

Post: #247

Just got my first lay from doing direct dayame!

That is all. I must now return to smiling as I sit here.

Post: #248

+1, 22yo blonde girl from NYC. Only night here I didn't have to drink, as she texted me "We should just fuck" So I obliged. Shit like this doesn't happen to me, maybe I'm turning a corner of game. I forgot how much fun young girls are...

Post: #249

(07-28-2012 03:25 AM)Thug Muffin Wrote:  Just got my first lay from doing direct dayame!

That is all. I must now return to smiling as I sit here.

Hmmm. What did you say? "Wanna fuck?"

Post: #250

+1, funny how I almost decided to go home until I stopped by this bar in Arlington to see a friend. This girl was a friend of a friend of mine who I've met on a few occasions and saw that she was attracted to me in those past interactions.

Total effort invested: 2 beers (1 for me, the other split), 30 min. We drove to this dock off of GW Parkway, banged in a boat while overlooking the Potomac.