Post: #1

What are some good measures by which to decide after the first date, which went OK but not great, that it's worth calling/texting her again?

You do the meet for drinks first date and she showed interest and you enjoyed yourselves; laughing and smiles. But you walk her back to the metro (or whatever) and you get weak physical reciprocity and no opportunity to kiss. You're doing the arm in arm thing (or most recently I held an umbrella over our heads and had my arm over her shoulder), but you're just not feeling her get into it.

My MO has been to name an upcoming night for a date two right there as we part and then wait and see if she contacts me to make arrangements. Needless to say, it has never happened. I don't know if I'm being wise and cutting losses or blowing opportunities where I'm expected to chase harder. Of course the outlined scenario is more likely to happen with the alluring ones. The merely interesting ones cling to my arm and emphasize that I am to call.

I don't just play aloof, I really am. Getting over myself enough to start asking for numbers unless the girl was throwing it at me was a process in itself. So I'm still a bit lost on how much chasing guys actually do. My time is limited and I don't want to waste it, but I lack the experience to know if I'm cutting out prematurely. How do you make the call and how do you play it after a fun but rather non-sexual date one?

Post: #2

The bigger problem is you're not closing on your first date. Plan your dates so that you can kiss and f*** the girl.

I also get the sense that you don't leave a strong impression. Be an asshole.

Attractive girls don't make moves, generally. Till you really hook her, usually before you f*** her, you're the one who has to put yourself out there.

Post: #3

If you think the first date didn't go good, it probably didn't.

For some reason, I never really have this problem. And I am not being cocky. If a girl agrees to go on a date with me, she is usually cooked.

If she is not into me, she won't agree to a meet up.

Maybe you need to screen harder before the first date. When you first meet her.

- MPM
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

Post: #4

"Fuck the girl on the first date" is not really much of an answer to the question "how do you decide to make a call for a second date?"

(10-18-2009 08:05 PM)basilransom Wrote:  Be an asshole.

I am an asshole. Well, blunt and acerbic anyway. Toning it down has been important to success.

Quote:Plan your dates so that you can kiss and f*** the girl.

On a week night drink date the plan is to build rapport, get a little physical, and at best make-out. These are not tattooed skanks. I have scared off two girls who were really into me and whom I really liked by following advice like this and pressing too hard too fast.

Post: #5

(10-18-2009 08:12 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  Maybe you need to screen harder before the first date. When you first meet her.

I'm working with what I got. A few numbers a week, a date or two a week. There is very little room for more "bandwidth" or selectivity. I work long hours, play a sport, and am the kind of guy that needs plenty of alone time besides. So consider my question open only to people who have to decide about what to do after a date one where sparks didn't fly.

Post: #6

Get the kiss by the end of the first date or delete her number. It's that simple.

Post: #7

Wait, what if its a really hot, "good" girl and the situation didn't really allow for escalation to a kiss? And she agreed to see you again and you just think she needs more game spit at her. And she's an Argentinian living in Buenos Aires (you know how they are).

Post: #8

in my early days of Pickup,i got played by some girls and some of them never went on second date with me while they shown really good interest..and i left wondering what went wrong ?? ?? ??

these were the girls i did not kiss on the first date.

let me add it mate:

get the kiss on the end of the first date or delete her number..you will either get played or there will be no second date.....its that simple !

Post: #9

(10-18-2009 08:33 PM)kingkong Wrote:  "how do you decide to make a call for a second date?"
On a week night drink date the plan is to build rapport, get a little physical, and at best make-out. These are not tattooed skanks. I have scared off two girls who were really into me and whom I really liked by following advice like this and pressing too hard too fast.

Does she make you hard? Is spending an hour or two talking to her a tolerable scenario? Do you have less than 5 other girls to ask out? If you answered yes to these, ask her out again.

As for scaring girls off, I've had a very different experience. I've rarely if ever been punished for going fast. Lots of girls have told me I move fast, I'm forceful, aggressive, etc. And these aren't tatooed skanks, but a variety of college girls, at smart colleges. I'd bet there was something else going on in your case, eg you didn't calibrate your escalation well. Or I just don't attract the kind of girls that would get scared in the first place.

Post: #10

If you didn't properly escalate throughout the first date, you're most likely not going to get a good physical response by the end of the date.

A second date can fix things, especially if you start getting more touchy feely the second time.

This happened once with me with a younger girl, right after I broke up with my gf. My game was shit, but by the second date I got my self together, and did what I should have done the first time, which is properly escalate (lots of touching) and finishing it off with a kiss.

Post: #11

Hey brah,

You might want to start all over and take this chick out again. It rained on your parade.

The weather might have killed it. Some chicks get a kick out of it, maybe this one didn't.

Girls you know, like to look nice. She might not have been feeling it because she was soaking?

Did the sexual feelings die when her makeup got all runny and her hair got messed with?

Aloha!

Post: #12

Exceptions are day and group dates, though i have gotten first kisses off day dates without any alcohol.

Post: #13

(10-19-2009 01:44 AM)Riker Wrote:  Wait, what if its a really hot, "good" girl and the situation didn't really allow for escalation to a kiss? And she agreed to see you again and you just think she needs more game spit at her. And she's an Argentinian living in Buenos Aires (you know how they are).

With foreign girls many times you have to wait till the second date and beyond.

But they will give you enough positive signals that you will know that you should continue.

Foreign girls know the art of seduction more than their American sisters.

They can keep the ball rolling with out a kiss sometimes. It can be pretty amazing when that happens (or maybe its just the pressure build up) and very feminine.

With American girls 99.9% its swoop on the first date or it isn't going anywhere.

- MPM
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

Post: #14

I agree G. The reluctant first kiss on the second date followed by her slowly easing into being affectionate was the cutest/sexiest thing. Very, very feminine.

Post: #15

(10-19-2009 11:23 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  With foreign girls many times you have to wait till the second date and beyond.

The recent girl in question was Columbian-American. Very family oriented. She volunteered on her own that she had a great time and she lit up when I suggested another date, but there was no physical warmth. Nothing like resistance, but she wasn't playing along.

The number will be stale if I don't text or something tomorrow. I wasn't planning on it, but damn was she cute.

Post: #16

(10-19-2009 11:23 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

(10-19-2009 01:44 AM)Riker Wrote:  Wait, what if its a really hot, "good" girl and the situation didn't really allow for escalation to a kiss? And she agreed to see you again and you just think she needs more game spit at her. And she's an Argentinian living in Buenos Aires (you know how they are).

With foreign girls many times you have to wait till the second date and beyond.

But they will give you enough positive signals that you will know that you should continue.

Foreign girls know the art of seduction more than their American sisters.

They can keep the ball rolling with out a kiss sometimes. It can be pretty amazing when that happens (or maybe its just the pressure build up) and very feminine.

With American girls 99.9% its swoop on the first date or it isn't going anywhere.

- MPM
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

wait, seriously?

Post: #17

(10-20-2009 12:45 AM)Fuzzface Wrote:  

(10-19-2009 11:23 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

(10-19-2009 01:44 AM)Riker Wrote:  Wait, what if its a really hot, "good" girl and the situation didn't really allow for escalation to a kiss? And she agreed to see you again and you just think she needs more game spit at her. And she's an Argentinian living in Buenos Aires (you know how they are).

With foreign girls many times you have to wait till the second date and beyond.

But they will give you enough positive signals that you will know that you should continue.

Foreign girls know the art of seduction more than their American sisters.

They can keep the ball rolling with out a kiss sometimes. It can be pretty amazing when that happens (or maybe its just the pressure build up) and very feminine.

With American girls 99.9% its swoop on the first date or it isn't going anywhere.

- MPM
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

wait, seriously?

What are you referring too?


- MPM
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

Post: #18

(10-20-2009 12:57 AM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

(10-20-2009 12:45 AM)Fuzzface Wrote:  

(10-19-2009 11:23 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

(10-19-2009 01:44 AM)Riker Wrote:  Wait, what if its a really hot, "good" girl and the situation didn't really allow for escalation to a kiss? And she agreed to see you again and you just think she needs more game spit at her. And she's an Argentinian living in Buenos Aires (you know how they are).

With foreign girls many times you have to wait till the second date and beyond.

But they will give you enough positive signals that you will know that you should continue.

Foreign girls know the art of seduction more than their American sisters.

They can keep the ball rolling with out a kiss sometimes. It can be pretty amazing when that happens (or maybe its just the pressure build up) and very feminine.

With American girls 99.9% its swoop on the first date or it isn't going anywhere.

- MPM
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

wait, seriously?

What are you referring too?


- MPM
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

Post: #19

If you want to kiss on a day date, just throw a park in the mix, and sit down with her and steadily escalate. Or come up with something physical, eg, race her, threaten to tackle her - "yo you're huge, but I think I can tackle you" as an excuse to get close to her. Tell her to climb a tree and grab her ass and push it up as she's climbing. Piggyback rides, and make her return the favor. Anything really. If you're smooth and cool, and she's cool, she'll love it.

Post: #20

(10-21-2009 09:28 PM)basilransom Wrote:  If you want to kiss on a day date, just throw a park in the mix, and sit down with her and steadily escalate. Or come up with something physical, eg, race her, threaten to tackle her - "yo you're huge, but I think I can tackle you" as an excuse to get close to her. Tell her to climb a tree and grab her ass and push it up as she's climbing. Piggyback rides, and make her return the favor. Anything really. If you're smooth and cool, and she's cool, she'll love it.

Good technique.

Anything that gets the blood pumping is good.

I have turned many hikes up flights of stairs into stairway swoops.

- MPM
The Guide to Getting More out of Life
http://www.thegmanifesto.com

Post: #21

(10-19-2009 11:54 PM)kingkong Wrote:  

(10-19-2009 11:23 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  With foreign girls many times you have to wait till the second date and beyond.

The recent girl in question was Columbian-American. Very family oriented. She volunteered on her own that she had a great time and she lit up when I suggested another date, but there was no physical warmth. Nothing like resistance, but she wasn't playing along.

The number will be stale if I don't text or something tomorrow. I wasn't planning on it, but damn was she cute.

It sounds like to me your opening and middle game wasn't strong enough leading up to that point. But some girls are just that way so... *shrug*

Post: #22

(10-22-2009 01:24 PM)Trotter Wrote:  

(10-19-2009 11:54 PM)kingkong Wrote:  

(10-19-2009 11:23 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  With foreign girls many times you have to wait till the second date and beyond.

The recent girl in question was Columbian-American. Very family oriented. She volunteered on her own that she had a great time and she lit up when I suggested another date, but there was no physical warmth. Nothing like resistance, but she wasn't playing along.

The number will be stale if I don't text or something tomorrow. I wasn't planning on it, but damn was she cute.

It sounds like to me your opening and middle game wasn't strong enough leading up to that point. But some girls are just that way so... *shrug*

Well, she ended up calling me and inviting me out. So we'll see where that goes tonight.