Post: #1

I occasionally meet up with this Japanese-German friendship/get-together group, which is attended by a lot of Japanese female students. A couple weeks back, the group was joined by a few new female students.

I made a date with one of them at a bar/lounge. The day we're supposed to meet she texts me, asking if she could bring a friend along. I don't respond (should've just replied with 'No'). Needless to say, she brings her friend anyway, which basically tells me she's not interested. Still, just for the sake of having a good time, I decide to go through with it.

After about 30 min, I get bored and start to wonder why I'm wasting my time and money on women who are obviously not into me sexually, so I go to the bathroom, come back and say a friend just called and I've gotta run (not sure how much of that they understood, since their German still isn't that good). I immediately pay for my own drinks and leave the two of them there.

A week after that, I approached and made a date with another (newly arrived) student, who ended up flaking on me.

If I continue mining this particular social circle, how much should I worry about being branded as "that guy who hits on all the girls in the group", if that hasn't already happened? Would it be wise to begin looking elsewhere?

Post: #2

Given the constant turn over in membership, you're okay. As long as the leader approves of you, the flock will follow.

It's actually very rare for a woman to go to a bar by herself --they find it scary to be alone.

"Can I bring along a friend" is common and not a sign of disinterest, but a sign of having bored female friends who never go out or do anything. Recruit a wingman or a friend next time this happens, and agree with each other to try to isolate the girls as the evening goes on.

Students are flakes. Don't personalize it. Don't internalize it. It's them, not you.

Post: #3

(03-26-2012 03:51 PM)Blackhawk Wrote:  Given the constant turn over in membership, you're okay. As long as the leader approves of you, the flock will follow.

Well, there's a membership turnover of about six months to a year, which is how long the average Japanese student stays in the country.