Post: #1

Alrighty, so two nights ago was an abortion. I was at this friend's house and hanging out with Joanne, (I'll throw in fake names), Stacey, Drake, John, and Rolf.

There was shitloads of drama (cops almost called, neighbors had a domestic assault incident, Stacey broke down crying three or four times because she's an attention whore, etc) made more dramatic since Joanne and Stacey are sort of interested in each other sexually, Rolf and Stacey are in a relationship, and Drake is pretty interested in Joanne. I was fifth wheeling with my rugby buddy John. I refuse to date friends.

The conversation progressed to something about athletics. Since I knew that Joanne was in kickboxing, we started BSing and play-sparring with each other. We're actually having fun. However, since Stacey demands lots of attention from everyone including her boyfriend, she tries to get in on it by punching me several times (she has anger issues). I love-tap her on the shoulder after I courteously absorb five or six taps and she starts crying about how she bruises easily.

Meanwhile, her boyfriend Rolf (who was in the military) sneaks up behind me and tries to put me into a drunk sleeper hold. I drop down into a fireman's carry immediately and snap-toss him over my back. I heard his feet hit the ceiling which was hilarious. We all start laughing.

Then I make a wager and grab Rolf and Drake by the waists and pick them both up off the ground (which scores me two beers!).

Now Stacey is super interested in me and won't leave me alone. I've gotten ~40 text messages from her and have only sent her eight or nine. Was this like gorilla game or something? Is how the jocks pull tail in high schools around the world?

Post: #2

On a related and conversational note, I looked up the fireman's carry on wikipedia and found out that it was unexpectedly invented by some martial arts master to defeat a tough opponent, and it inspired a maneuver used in Judo. Guess I reinvented the wheel. While sober. I'm kind of proud of myself.