Post: #26

(02-08-2012 02:45 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(02-08-2012 11:52 AM)Roosh Wrote:  I'd send her money every month, as much as I could afford. I want my spawn to survive.

Thank god I haven't had to deal with this shit, but if she got preggo I'd accept responsibility for my actions and help pay for the child. I like children too much to let them die by my own actions.

(02-08-2012 04:11 PM)UrbanNerd Wrote:  It would hard for me to bail. I grew up with a father in the home and to be honest, it was cool to know you had that foundation and support. I would do as much as I could financially and timewise (from a distance). I don't give chicks a lot of vital information anyway so I COULD BAIL if I really wanted to but I would help support my kid. The cool thing is that it would be on my terms.

These three responses basically sum up my thoughts.

I would never ask her to get an abortion, and I'd probably discourage her if she suggested going in that direction-I'd honestly prefer to support my child as best I can.

Hopefully, if I chose her wisely, she'd be cool enough that we can organize payments without the court getting involved (idealistic, I know, but possible). If she's a foreigner, even better (less punitive family laws), though I'd have to shell out a lot to fly out to her. We'll see-I haven't had to deal with this type of situation yet, obviously.

If she went ahead with the abortion and I found out, we would not speak again. I don't think I could forgive it. I'm not sure how I became so pro-life. I'm fairly secular/agnostic, though I was raised quite traditionally so maybe that's it. Regardless, I can't kill my kid.

For these reasons, of course, I have to be careful who I get with unprotected or otherwise (accidents happen). Abortion is never an option for me, so if an "oops" were to occur with a girl who I didn't particularly like or think would make a good mother, I'd probably be stuck with it.

Post: #27

(02-08-2012 05:08 PM)Athlone McGinnis Wrote:  

(02-08-2012 02:45 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

(02-08-2012 11:52 AM)Roosh Wrote:  I'd send her money every month, as much as I could afford. I want my spawn to survive.

Thank god I haven't had to deal with this shit, but if she got preggo I'd accept responsibility for my actions and help pay for the child. I like children too much to let them die by my own actions.

(02-08-2012 04:11 PM)UrbanNerd Wrote:  It would hard for me to bail. I grew up with a father in the home and to be honest, it was cool to know you had that foundation and support. I would do as much as I could financially and timewise (from a distance). I don't give chicks a lot of vital information anyway so I COULD BAIL if I really wanted to but I would help support my kid. The cool thing is that it would be on my terms.

These three responses basically sum up my thoughts.

I would never ask her to get an abortion, and I'd probably discourage her if she suggested going in that direction-I'd honestly prefer to support my child as best I can.

Hopefully, if I chose her wisely, she'd be cool enough that we can organize payments without the court getting involved (idealistic, I know, but possible). If she's a foreigner, even better (less punitive family laws), though I'd have to shell out a lot to fly out to her. We'll see-I haven't had to deal with this type of situation yet, obviously.

If she went ahead with the abortion and I found out, we would not speak again. I don't think I could forgive it. I'm not sure how I became so pro-life. I'm fairly secular/agnostic, though I was raised quite traditionally so maybe that's it. Regardless, I can't kill my kid.

For these reasons, of course, I have to be careful who I get with unprotected or otherwise (accidents happen). Abortion is never an option for me, so if an "oops" were to occur with a girl who I didn't particularly like or think would make a good mother, I'd probably be stuck with it.

I sometimes wonder if I have a kid out there somewhere. I've seeded chicks before with no way for us to get in contact again. I haven't done that a lot, but a few times to where I start wondering sometimes.

In the event that I knew full well, I'd just man up and accept responsibility and do my best to give the kid a good life. That's pretty much how I was raised.

This happened to one of my good friends from London. He was in South America slaying chicks left and right and knocked up a random girl in Chile who notified him via Facebook. It was a big ordeal as you can imagine, but he's relatively well off and can afford to visit Chile a couple times a year to see the kid and send money and set up a trust fund. I guess those circumstances are part of the reason he felt the liberty to just smash chicks raw all throughout SA.

Post: #28

Plan A) Try to convince her NOT to keep it.
Plan B) Hope she loses it.
Plan C) Skip town.
Plan D) Disappear completely.

Definitely not the life for me.

Post: #29

(02-08-2012 05:08 PM)Athlone McGinnis Wrote:  Hopefully, if I chose her wisely, she'd be cool enough that we can organize payments without the court getting involved (idealistic, I know, but possible). If she's a foreigner, even better (less punitive family laws), though I'd have to shell out a lot to fly out to her. We'll see-I haven't had to deal with this type of situation yet, obviously.

You might be surprised. As much as we bash women on this forum, I've met more than a few single moms who are raising kids without any support from the father and they have still chosen not to take the man to court.

There was even that show the Real Housewives of Atlanta (I know this anecdotally) and one of the women was in that kind of situation. Other women were encouraging her to take the father to court. I'm not sure if she ever did, but I know she was very hesitant. This was in spite of the fact that the father was ex-NFL and had millions.

Post: #30

(02-08-2012 11:59 AM)Moma Wrote:  

(02-08-2012 11:56 AM)Hencredible Casanova Wrote:  I'll never respect Steve Jobs for that. He's a damn fool for not meeting his dad on the basis of stories told to him by women. Seriously. Never believe a woman's interpretation about relations with a man. That shit is almost always emotional, rarely logical.

Any reasonable person would at least hear both sides before coming to a definite conclusion. He should have met with his father.

When did he know? Did he say he didn't meet his dad on the basis of what his mum or step mum told him? I never read his autobiography (but I love his products).

Often children given up for adoption carry animosity towards their birth parents, because they feel they weren't wanted. They don't consider the circumstances. Also, they can feel they are being disrespectful to the parents that raised and loved them, and see THEM as their true and only parents. It was due to racism that his dad ended up not marrying his mom and them raising him together (her dad didn't want his daughter marrying a Syrian, so she left him and returned to San Francisco, had the baby, and gave him up for adoption). His biological dad didn't learn until just a few years ago who Jobs was, and did contact him a few times via email. Jobs never returned the messages, because he feared he was out for money (as it turns out, Abdulfattah John Jandali, his biological, is a hotel magnate and does okay on his own). He said he was willing to offer medical records, etc. if it would aid in helping him. He just wanted to sit down and have a cup of coffee with his son. It's sad that Jobs never reached back - it should have been easier for him to do that since he was a grown man with his own family.

To share a personal experience, several years ago I got a small envelope in the mail. There was no return address, just a woman's name. Inside was a note from a woman that was looking for the child she had given up for adoption in 1963. She must have gotten a list of all children born on that date in New York area hospitals, and was trying to track down her son. I felt incredibly sad for her, so I thought I owed it to her to respond, so at least she'd know for sure that I wasn't him. She provided and email address, so I wrote back wishing her luck. The following year on my birthday, I wrote her back again to see if she had found her son. She had. Unfortunately, his adoptive father threatened her with legal action if she continued trying to contact him. As sad as that is, I understand where he was coming from. He took this child and raised him as his own. YOU gave him up, and now after I raised him and loved him, you want back in?

I try to never judge the decisions a woman makes when she gives up a child for adoption, because you just don't know the circumstances. Knowing what Jobs' mom did, I can judge her and say what she did was fucked up, but it was under the influence of her OWN dad. Just the same, the biological father was cut out of the decision (he states he would NOT have wanted to give him up). The woman that wrote me was obviously devastated by the decision, and not a day went by when she didn't think about her son and how he was doing. She just did what she thought was the best thing for the child at that time, but it doesn't mean it didn't hurt her every day.

Post: #31

(02-08-2012 05:31 PM)Gmac Wrote:  Plan A) Try to convince her NOT to keep it.
Plan B) Hope she loses it.
Plan C) Skip town.
Plan D) Disappear completely.

Definitely not the life for me.

I agree with Gmac. I'm simply not wired for kids, at all. I know I'd be a shite father. I can barely handle pets let alone things with thumbs that can pick things up. Thankfully I have "issues" in that department so kids aren't really a massive concern.

Quote:You might be surprised. As much as we bash women on this forum, I've met more than a few single moms who are raising kids without any support from the father and they have still chosen not to take the man to court.

My mom is one of them. She never pursued my biological father or my dad after they got divorced. She actually did a decent job too, her advice to me when it came to women was, for a single woman, pretty good, all things considered.

Chef In Jeans
A culinary website for men

Post: #32

(02-08-2012 05:49 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  

(02-08-2012 11:59 AM)Moma Wrote:  

(02-08-2012 11:56 AM)Hencredible Casanova Wrote:  I'll never respect Steve Jobs for that. He's a damn fool for not meeting his dad on the basis of stories told to him by women. Seriously. Never believe a woman's interpretation about relations with a man. That shit is almost always emotional, rarely logical.

Any reasonable person would at least hear both sides before coming to a definite conclusion. He should have met with his father.

When did he know? Did he say he didn't meet his dad on the basis of what his mum or step mum told him? I never read his autobiography (but I love his products).

Often children given up for adoption carry animosity towards their birth parents, because they feel they weren't wanted. They don't consider the circumstances. Also, they can feel they are being disrespectful to the parents that raised and loved them, and see THEM as their true and only parents. It was due to racism that his dad ended up not marrying his mom and them raising him together (her dad didn't want his daughter marrying a Syrian, so she left him and returned to San Francisco, had the baby, and gave him up for adoption). His biological dad didn't learn until just a few years ago who Jobs was, and did contact him a few times via email. Jobs never returned the messages, because he feared he was out for money (as it turns out, Abdulfattah John Jandali, his biological, is a hotel magnate and does okay on his own). He said he was willing to offer medical records, etc. if it would aid in helping him. He just wanted to sit down and have a cup of coffee with his son. It's sad that Jobs never reached back - it should have been easier for him to do that since he was a grown man with his own family.

To share a personal experience, several years ago I got a small envelope in the mail. There was no return address, just a woman's name. Inside was a note from a woman that was looking for the child she had given up for adoption in 1963. She must have gotten a list of all children born on that date in New York area hospitals, and was trying to track down her son. I felt incredibly sad for her, so I thought I owed it to her to respond, so at least she'd know for sure that I wasn't him. She provided and email address, so I wrote back wishing her luck. The following year on my birthday, I wrote her back again to see if she had found her son. She had. Unfortunately, his adoptive father threatened her with legal action if she continued trying to contact him. As sad as that is, I understand where he was coming from. He took this child and raised him as his own. YOU gave him up, and now after I raised him and loved him, you want back in?

I try to never judge the decisions a woman makes when she gives up a child for adoption, because you just don't know the circumstances. Knowing what Jobs' mom did, I can judge her and say what she did was fucked up, but it was under the influence of her OWN dad. Just the same, the biological father was cut out of the decision (he states he would NOT have wanted to give him up). The woman that wrote me was obviously devastated by the decision, and not a day went by when she didn't think about her son and how he was doing. She just did what she thought was the best thing for the child at that time, but it doesn't mean it didn't hurt her every day.

I read the Jobs bio and saw the interview with the author on 60 minutes. Job's bio dad actually owned a cafe that Jobs used to go to in Silicon Valley. They had actually known each other, but didn't know they were related. Pretty interesting.

Post: #33

My last 5 "more serious relationships" have all claimed they were pregnant upon me ending the relationship. Only one was telling the truth, and she tried to use it against me hardcore, until she ended up miscarrying.

Am I alone here? I thought this was commonplace for women to try and freak a dude out with this nonsense.

I have a kid, love him to death.. would never do it again.

I've been seriously considering a vesectomy. Some of you should, too.

Post: #34

(02-08-2012 08:08 PM)Single Dad Swag Wrote:  My last 5 "more serious relationships" have all claimed they were pregnant upon me ending the relationship. Only one was telling the truth, and she tried to use it against me hardcore, until she ended up miscarrying.

Am I alone here? I thought this was commonplace for women to try and freak a dude out with this nonsense.

I have a kid, love him to death.. would never do it again.

I've been seriously considering a vesectomy. Some of you should, too.

Had it happen once, consulted male friends, they told me she was full of shit, turns out she was.

Chef In Jeans
A culinary website for men

Post: #35

I am (was?) crippling paranoid about getting a girl pregnate.

Yes... I'm more relaxed nowadays, I just make sure I have a condom and don't come inside the girl.

I remember the few times I had scares (both with long term ex's). Boy, I freaked out big time. The first time I had a major scare was with a gf I had when I was 19. The condom somehow slipped off my dick while we were doing it, and it took some time for me to realise. She was late on her period. I started freaking out and she took the test. It turned out that, apparently, I was stressing the girl so much about her period being late that the stress itself was a factor that contributed for it being late.

The second time was when my last ex hid from me that she had forgotten to take her pill for something like 5 days, days which we had sex. That scared me big time, and the whole drama involved with it made me resent her and the women-folk a lot on this issue.

I trust women no more when it comes to contraception. If you want things done right, you gotta take care of it yourself. Nowadays I always rap up and I'm so paranoid that I avoid coming inside as well.

Like a few others have mentioned, I just don't have it in me to be a father. I guess I'd be a nice uncle, I do like kids and all. But I'm just too erratic and possibly self-centered in my desires and passions to have any stability and consistency to have any other living being depend on me so much.

Well, that's how I feel in this moment of my life, who knows if I might change later on. Till then, the only thing I'd consider fathering would be a tamagochi.

Post: #36

(02-08-2012 08:08 PM)Single Dad Swag Wrote:  I've been seriously considering a vesectomy. Some of you should, too.

Sorry to hear about your story man. I wouldn't knock you for making that decision given your experiences. That's your choice, especially if you really do not want more children.

For me, however...I'd honestly prefer to die than sterilize myself.

Sounds dramatic, but I'm serious. I couldn't live with it. Not now or ever. The value of sex in that scenario for me would depreciate far too much.

Post: #37

(02-08-2012 08:40 PM)Amour Fou Wrote:  I trust women no more when it comes to contraception. If you want things done right, you gotta take care of it yourself. Nowadays I always rap up and I'm so paranoid that I avoid coming inside as well.

Pretty much. A lot of American women in their late 20s want kids as well. So many have told me they don't care about getting married but want kids and are prepared to raise them alone.

Gotta be careful and never trust what they tell you.

Post: #38

I'll eventually get a girl pregnant.

I'll pay child support. That's mighty big of me, considering that the law requires it.

If she's a legit mom, I'll pay more.

If she's scandalous, I'll get at least joint custody.

A lot of what guys say about custody is true....Except that if you have the money to take her to court, the resources to follow her around, and the connected lawyers....You'll do OK.

Post: #39

If you want to avoid pregnancies, only go raw on high-class girls or career girls.

Single motherhood is normalized in the lower classes, and working classes, but not in solidly middle class families - and not even close to normalized in high class families.

Also, don't go raw on anyone over 30. If she's not from a great family and views her fertility chances as slim, she's more likely to keep it.

Post: #40

The "i'll only go raw dog for X type of chick" works for a short while. I tried it. http://www.rooshv.com/will-she-keep-the-baby

But next thing you know you're raw dogging everyone out there. It's very easy to convince yourself that the girl you want to raw dog would not want to keep a baby.

You get to a certain age where a part of you wants to be a father and you take risks, even with girls who are not top shelf. I find that if a girl is nurturing (i.e. would make a good mother), I want to raw dog. I raw dogged most of the Polish girls I got with, including the one that's laying in my bed right now.

Post: #41

Correct me if I am wrong, but from the gist of the posts, it seems as if the majority of you guys want to be walking wallets and sperm donors.

You guys (in general) complain about men being perceived as just sperm donors and walking wallets, fathers unable to see their children and spend quality time with them due to the law, yet you just want to continue your life of debauchery with sending your kids a minimal amount of money, and see your kids a few times per year.

It just doesn't sit well with me for men to protest about how unfair family law is and their inability to access their children or to be apart of their children's lives, yet guys are confessing that they'll just send their kids a minimal amount of money and see their kids a few times per year and leave the brunt of raising and upbringing to the mothers without the steady hand of a father throughout their kids' lives.

I am just confused.

Father's rights? Men's rights?

So this whole movement is basically a joke where men don't really mean what they say? If the laws changed, it seems as if nothing would change.

Again, I may have just misunderstood.

Correct me if I am wrong, but I don't think that's what any of you meant.

Post: #42

(02-08-2012 09:14 PM)Roosh Wrote:  The "i'll only go raw dog for X type of chick" works for a short while. I tried it. http://www.rooshv.com/will-she-keep-the-baby

But next thing you know you're raw dogging everyone out there. It's very easy to convince yourself that the girl you want to raw dog would not want to keep a baby.

You get to a certain age where a part of you wants to be a father and you take risks, even with girls who are not top shelf. I find that if a girl is nurturing (i.e. would make a good mother), I want to raw dog. I raw dogged most of the Polish girls I got with, including the one that's laying in my bed right now.

If I have that gene, it hasn't been activated.

I view a child as being part of the game. It's going to happen, so why stress? If I'm with a sketchy girl, I always wrap the condom in toilet paper and flush it.

When I go raw, I always shoot inside of them. I just have no self control once I'm in there.

Near every time, the girl answers, "I'm about to go," with, "That's OK."

So, for me, raw does not mean pulling out. It means going all in.

What surprised me is how willing women are for men to go raw in them. I guess they figure I'm clean looking, and thus must be STD free.

Post: #43

(02-08-2012 09:26 PM)blurb Wrote:  Correct me if I am wrong, but from the gist of the posts, it seems as if the majority of you guys want to be walking wallets and sperm donors.

You guys (in general) complain about men being perceived as just sperm donors and walking wallets, fathers unable to see their children and spend quality time with them due to the law, yet you just want to continue your life of debauchery with sending your kids a minimal amount of money, and see your kids a few times per year.

It just doesn't sit well with me for men to protest about how unfair family law is and their inability to access their children or to be apart of their children's lives, yet guys are confessing that they'll just send their kids a minimal amount of money and see their kids a few times per year and leave the brunt of raising and upbringing to the mothers without the steady hand of a father throughout their kids' lives.

I am just confused.

Father's rights? Men's rights?

So this whole movement is basically a joke where men don't really mean what they say? If the laws changed, it seems as if nothing would change.

Again, I may have just misunderstood.

Correct me if I am wrong, but I don't think that's what any of you meant.

When you know some guys whose child support payments go towards their ex's Range Rovers, you'll understand the hate for child support.

Moms who actually take care of their children rarely have problems with "deadbeat dads."

It's psycho moms who tell their kids, "Daddy doesn't love you," who have problems with men handing over hard-earned cash to them.

So the issue is a lot more complicated, and this stuff will make more sense as you get older.

Post: #44

(02-08-2012 09:32 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  When you know some guys whose child support payments go towards their ex's Range Rovers, you'll understand the hate for child support.

Moms who actually take care of their children rarely have problems with "deadbeat dads."

It's psycho moms who tell their kids, "Daddy doesn't love you," who have problems with men handing over hard-earned cash to them.

So the issue is a lot more complicated, and this stuff will make more sense as you get older.

Good issue on the child support scenario.

However, I wasn't really talking about the money. I was asking whether one would try to be an active father VS. a distant, faraway walking wallet.

Here, let me give an example:

You knock up a Polish woman in Poland, and she has your kid.

Do you

A) Move to Poland, see the child on a regular basis, and basically try to be an active father?

VS.

B) Simply continue living your life, and send a monthly check to Poland and see your kid maybe a few times, if any, per year during the holidays?


I guess what I am trying to ask is

A) How many of you would actively try to be a father, make the sacrifice and effort to see your kid on a regular basis, and see him/her grow up?

VS.

B) Sending a paycheck every month, just doing the bare necesities required by law, and only see your kid a few times per year?

What would you do? Which would you choose?



Because from the gist of most of the posts, it seems that most are opting for option B to do the bare necesities, which is sort of confusing since men have been fighting for "father's rights" and still choose to be a distant father.

Because fighting for father's rights without the intention of actually exercising those rights and being a child's father-figure seems to be a big waste of time, money, and energy.

Just trying to make sense of things here.

Post: #45

(02-08-2012 10:23 PM)blurb Wrote:  What would you do? Which would you choose?

Many of my guy friends - including some players - have all told me the same thing, "Once you see the kid, everything changes."

Since it hasn't happened to me, I simply cannot give anything more than an uninformed opinion.

I do know that most men do not walk out on their children, they walk out on the child's mother.

So if the girl were cool, I'm pretty sure she and the kid would be in my life for as long as I lived.

Post: #46

Of course it's ultimately the womens dicision. If I had no choice and the girl would have the kid, I'd send the girl money and visit the kid when I could. Chances would be the kid would be growing up in another country because I avoid banging American girls as much as possible and normally stick to foreign women.

Post: #47

(02-08-2012 10:30 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

(02-08-2012 10:23 PM)blurb Wrote:  What would you do? Which would you choose?

Many of my guy friends - including some players - have all told me the same thing, "Once you see the kid, everything changes."

Since it hasn't happened to me, I simply cannot give anything more than an uninformed opinion.

I do know that most men do not walk out on their children, they walk out on the child's mother.

So if the girl were cool, I'm pretty sure she and the kid would be in my life for as long as I lived.

And if the girl isn't cool... you're screwed. Have fun in hell.

Post: #48

(02-08-2012 09:14 PM)Roosh Wrote:  The "i'll only go raw dog for X type of chick" works for a short while. I tried it. http://www.rooshv.com/will-she-keep-the-baby

But next thing you know you're raw dogging everyone out there. It's very easy to convince yourself that the girl you want to raw dog would not want to keep a baby.

You get to a certain age where a part of you wants to be a father and you take risks, even with girls who are not top shelf. I find that if a girl is nurturing (i.e. would make a good mother), I want to raw dog. I raw dogged most of the Polish girls I got with, including the one that's laying in my bed right now.

Where do you blow your load?

Post: #49

(02-09-2012 01:03 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

(02-08-2012 09:14 PM)Roosh Wrote:  The "i'll only go raw dog for X type of chick" works for a short while. I tried it. http://www.rooshv.com/will-she-keep-the-baby

But next thing you know you're raw dogging everyone out there. It's very easy to convince yourself that the girl you want to raw dog would not want to keep a baby.

You get to a certain age where a part of you wants to be a father and you take risks, even with girls who are not top shelf. I find that if a girl is nurturing (i.e. would make a good mother), I want to raw dog. I raw dogged most of the Polish girls I got with, including the one that's laying in my bed right now.

Where do you blow your load?

I have a bad feeling Roosh just skeets inside of these broads.

I've been thinking about getting my sperm count taken. Wouldn't it be funny if we were being all careful for decades , only to learn late in life that we weren't fertile in the first place?

   

I briefly (but seriously) considered a vasectomy until I learned about some of the potential side-effects. Apparently, a lot of men for whom the procedure is considered "successful" experience persistent, constant ball-aching. It's like 24/7, for the rest of their lives. It sort of defeats the whole purpose if I'm in pain all the time.

Post: #50

(02-09-2012 01:27 AM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

(02-09-2012 01:03 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

(02-08-2012 09:14 PM)Roosh Wrote:  The "i'll only go raw dog for X type of chick" works for a short while. I tried it. http://www.rooshv.com/will-she-keep-the-baby

But next thing you know you're raw dogging everyone out there. It's very easy to convince yourself that the girl you want to raw dog would not want to keep a baby.

You get to a certain age where a part of you wants to be a father and you take risks, even with girls who are not top shelf. I find that if a girl is nurturing (i.e. would make a good mother), I want to raw dog. I raw dogged most of the Polish girls I got with, including the one that's laying in my bed right now.

Where do you blow your load?

I have a bad feeling Roosh just skeets inside of these broads.