Post: #1

I'd appreciate any input/advice from the fine gentlemen of this board on the following scenario. Advice from people I know in real life has been poor at best. Posted this in the newbie section, but curious what everyone else has to say.


I lost my virginity fairly late in life. I was in college at the time. Shortly after taking the vaccum packing off my genitalia I started dating a girl (let's call her X) in college (this was 2003). She was a virgin at the time and I took her virginity. This was the first time I had ever experienced strong emotions towards a girl and I shutter to think about how beta I must have been. I feel in love and, unsurprisingly, the relationship did not last long. To be frank, even 9 years later, I've never felt as strongly towards a girl as I did towards X.

I provide this as background to my current problem. X and I have many of the same close knit college friends. She is currently married and I'm single (but getting laid regularly though with a quality of woman I'd like to improve). I'm forced to see her more more frequently than I would like. Everytime I run into her it puts me in a terrible mood. I'm infuriated my friends (her friends too) make me see her regularly. What should I do? I can't seem to rid myself (even 9 years later!) of that terrible beta feeling in the gut. Would appreciate any helpful advice.

To clarify, I'm not sitting around pining for this girl when I should be getting shit down. It's more of an issue when I inevitably run into her at social events (weddings/bdays). Not interested in skipping a good friends wedding just to avoid some chick from way back. That said, running into her always ruins my day.

Post: #2

To be quite frank, it sounds like she may being doing better in your eyes than you are

I'd love to run into my ex because I know I'm a better version of me than I was when I dated her.

Get into the gym
Spend more time on this forum
Read books
Focus on improving yourself

In time you'll look forward to running into her because you know she'll be thinking about you and taking it out on her most likely beta husband

Good luck

Post: #3

The best thing to do is improve your game and start showing up with hot chicks at these events.

A different hot girl each time.

This will infuriate her

Success is the best revenge

Post: #4

(02-01-2012 06:02 PM)MrXY Wrote:  Success is the best revenge

Truth.

Post: #5

(02-01-2012 06:02 PM)MrXY Wrote:  Success is the best revenge

No, apathy is.

Post: #6

That is my goal - to not care one way or the other.

Appreciate the advice.

Post: #7

Both success AND apathy actually. If you succeed but are still gutted by the very thought of her, you'll have some revenge, but you're still letting her control you (this is where I am at the moment, but when I'm being forced to send $2k/month and also lose my house, apathy is a difficult goal). If you're apathetic toward her but rather pathetic on your own, she may feel pity but it's certainly not revenge.

When you get to both--success and not caring--that's when you're really winning. I'm closer than I was, but have a way to go.

Post: #8

Sounds like you're still in love.

There's nothing beta about being in love.

Letting love turn you into a little bitch (that's how you sound) is a problem.

First step: Be honest with yourself about how you feel.

Second step: Learn to overcome your emotions.

Prob every guy here has had a broken heart. (If not, I feel sorry for the guy, as love-and-loss is an important part of the human experience.)

Point is: Deal with your emotions. When they arise within you, smirk, recognize them for what they are, and master them.

Self-mastery is, ultimately, what it makes one an alpha.

Post: #9

(02-01-2012 07:21 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  Self-mastery is, ultimately, what it makes one an alpha.

THis right here is $$$, very well put.

Post: #10

Dupe thread:

/thread-10074-...#pid153375

I think the only reason you care is because your self-esteem is shot and you're worried you can't find a girl as good as her. Now, I know that intellectually, you know that's not the case. But it's different from what your feelings tell you. All I am reading is your excuses for you feeling bad. You think you are some kind of victim and that someone in here can give you a pill and a quick-fix so you don't have to man up and accept life and that after 9 years, you're still dealing with the same shit.

If you are like other men, you have to SHOW yourself, through actions, that you are capable of bedding women consistently and that you are better off without this girl. The way to do that is to sleep with attractive girls - not fatties or any hag you can reel in, but girls who make you crazy for the hunt.

Women talk through their problems. Men need to see action. When you've seen and felt you can do better, this girl will not be important. Now here's the catch: the way to get better at women is to focus on yourself. So, as I wrote: make yourself your goal, and stop pinning your self-esteem on other people. Don't compare, don't mull over the past. Focus on what you are capable of doing, then do that.

You are STILL talking about this girl even after I gave you good advice. Take my advice, and stop making her a factor. She's not. She's a girl you used to see, a sperm recipticle you foolishly tied your self-esteem too, but you've since grown older and wiser, and you're the better for it.