Post: #26

Quote: ...women want to be complimented, but they want to be complimented by certain men. If you're not one of those men, then your compliment doesn't really matter.

I've thought about this recently...you could use a compliment as a way to gauge a girls' opinion of you. Compliment her, and if the reaction is negative, well, you know she thinks your un-attractive. I try to avoid giving compliments on appearance but sometimes they slip out and I regret them.

Post: #27

Love these Real Talk threads, I always check them out.

Compliments: I might have picked up the habit from my dad and some of my old lifting coaches, but I rarely compliment people and especially I hardly ever compliment women. I don't say straight out negative stuff like the old men do, but I'd usually have an amused look on my face, without saying anything, or just a "no comment". Other times, I'd troll them a little bit. Once in a blue moon though, if they earn it, I'd give them a honest, sincere compliment that leave them fishing for more.

I don't really have to try hard at this, because, well, Australian women do not really do anything that deserves my compliments.

I'm a lot more generous when it comes to foreign girls, because they tend to do things that impress me, although sometimes I have a feeling that it's only because I'm comparing them to Aussie girls...

Dating: the last time I actually went on a date with an Australian girl before having sex with her - and successfully bedding her afterwards - was end of 2007. I've tried and failed numerous times since then, and I do not do dinner dates at all. It's usually something creative and fun, that I'd enjoy doing. However, being asked out on a date will bring out all kinds of social awkwardness typical of young Aussie Millennial women, and I don't want to deal with that shit anymore. My dates work great with foreign women though, provided that they haven't been in Australia for too long.

Post: #28

I always thought compliments were weak game. Even as a kid I always felt like I was giving away something if I was complimenting someone without meaning it.

I hate when girls fish for compliments with shit like,

"ugh, guys only like thin girls. They need to eat more burgers, fortis." *cue beta bait*

me: "No, you need to look more like them if you want guys."

There used to be this super beta guy who was in a club with me in college. he would always try to swoop FOB asian girls with super compliment game, but it never worked. He'd post things like that Cam guy did on a girl's facebook. It was embarrassing as fuck.

Post: #29

Genuine LOL at "...Team Lame next to Captain Thirst."

Post: #30

Here's some advice from a guy who runs his own game site:

Post: #31

^ sounds like bad advice.

Post: #32

The dreaded "hi I had to stop you because your sexy" type of cold approach opener is the worst.

Beyond that, compliments are good game wise for push pull and to build sexual tension.

Compliments are very powerful to build that sexual tension. Not even compliments as much as statements of her turning you on. Mainly used for once attraction is established, but you start it off small and gradually increase the size.

Post: #33

Been thinking about this more and (oops) I do actually use one compliment from time to time:

"you smell good" (or you smell sexy).

Lame?

Well, usually I mean it and it's true. And I tend to use it circumstantially (say when kissing or right after sex).

I think it has more to do with her overall taste and style as opposed to something about her that's more natural & out of her control (and thus this compliment would be something that she is ok with as opposed to something she doesn't like to be complimented on (like looks)).

I think it's actually an ok way to subtly compliment a woman without fear of her getting turned off or awarding her some sort of false validation.

Thoughts?

Post: #34

I think the framing is wrong.

It's not your job to make a woman feel more confident.

It's your job to make sure your inner game is on point. Your confidence is derived from the work you put in on yourself and the results you see from doing that work.

She has to do work for herself as well.

I don't want a chick who isn't confident in who she is, and I don't want her using me to feel better about herself.

Post: #35

More compliment fail, notice the response...

Post: #36

(04-04-2015 05:34 AM)jariel Wrote:  I think the framing is wrong.

It's not your job to make a woman feel more confident.

It's your job to make sure your inner game is on point. Your confidence is derived from the work you put in on yourself and the results you see from doing that work.

She has to do work for herself as well.

I don't want a chick who isn't confident in who she is, and I don't want her using me to feel better about herself.

^^^^
THIS!

Burn the above post into your frontal cortex gentlemen. You own and are responsible for you, your feelings and your game. She is responsible for her, her feelings and her game.......NOT YOU.

'Nuff said.

Post: #37

I apologize for bumping this thread, but I the problem with compliments is that it's too rigid, too black and white.

The pattern I see across the board is some people looking for an easy-to-follow series of steps they can perform. The most important skill isn't memorizing these steps like a chess match. It's learning to master reading and projecting body language and increasing overall emotional intelligence.

I'll give you a really old anecdote from my life. I used to work a crappy data entry job at a bank and I sat next to a really hot black chick with percy C-cups. One day out of the blue I turned to her and gave her a compliment for how perky they were. Now, under normal circumstances saying something like that to a coworker would get you slapped or reported to HR, but I eased into it in such an innocent way that she loved it. She had this beaming smile on her face. I wasn't hitting on her. I was just making a compliment for its own sake.

A while later one weekend I got a phone call from her. I don't know how she got my numbers, but there was giggling on the other line. It was obvious she was drunk and I could tell she wanted me to come over and F her, but I played it innocent to the point where she kind of came to her senses and backed out. I was not in a situation at that time to capitalize.

At that time I was totally omega, with a dead-end job and playing mister nice guy. But I demonstrated balls of steel by turning to her and talking about her boobs. I think that's what really made an impression.

You've gotta understand that if all you do is memorize the alpha playbook and recite it chapter and verse, women are used to that. Maybe they go for it, but it's vanilla. The way to really distinguish yourself is to break social convention. But you can't just break it for the sake of breaking it, you have to figure out HOW to break it without it backfiring.

I'm convinced that the alpha/beta paradigm is not as cut and dried as PUA makes it seem. There's a time and place to blend beta technique into courtship as a way to trust-build and keep her confused as to what basket to put you in. Having them not be able to figure you out sends their hamster spinning.

Post: #38

(02-23-2017 10:28 AM)questor70 Wrote:  The way to really distinguish yourself is to break social convention. But you can't just break it for the sake of breaking it, you have to figure out HOW to break it without it backfiring.

I'm convinced that the alpha/beta paradigm is not as cut and dried as PUA makes it seem. There's a time and place to blend beta technique into courtship as a way to trust-build and keep her confused as to what basket to put you in.

I've been experimenting with sweet talking and my most recent lay ate it up. During brunch: "When did you become such a sweet talker??"

I think complements can be used as a super effective weapon especially post lay if executed from a position of strength. As the OP said:

Quote:Women only take well to compliments from men they want to receive compliments from.

If you've fucked her then you have already checked this box off. If you're internal game is strong and you regard yourself as this male IMO you don't have to have fucked her yet.

What makes this work for me is that I never outright give her a complement without her making an inquiry about what I'm looking at, I always make sure its a sexual in nature or subtextually, I use a lot of sounds and noises.

• 1. never outright give her a complement without her making an inquiry about what I'm looking at
  
  I stare straight up at her face/eyes or whatever interest me. They always say "what" "what are you looking at" or some shit. Making incredible eye contact I looked into her eyes and said "I like what I see". Another time I told her I liked her eyes which were a combination of blue and green. Told her it was aquamarine which trailed off into stores about my gameboy color which was aquamarine.
  

• 2. I always make sure its a sexual in nature or subtextually
  
  When walking I'll make a complement on how sexy they look (if they actually dressed sexy). Walking behind a date I was checking out her ass and told her something like: "those jeans make you look sexy..or more like you make the jeans sexy"
  

• 3. I use a lot of sounds and noises
  
  "MMM", "dayum" sounds that you would make when looking at a warm meal that you have been waiting to eat for the last week
  

Like any relationship dynamic its about power. As long as you deliver these from a place of power in congruence with your frame they work. Trying this out is in its early stages for me so I'm sure I'll have something more thorough at a later time.

Just remember what the OP said:

Quote:Women only take well to compliments from men they want to receive compliments from.

Post: #39

If they actually look sexier than most or are dressed to the nines, I'll compliment them. Why wouldn't you in the course of a conversation - not immediately of course.

They dress for us to admire their bodies, if you want to come across as sexual ignoring that appeal hurts your cause. I totally agree it has to come from a position of power.

Post: #40

I just got out of a conversation with my LTR about this, and she was in tears saying that she wishes I'd compliment her (I admittedly never do). Among a few other things. I defused the situation, but at the same time, have any of you guys dealt with this scenario before? I've never been a guy to compliment girls, and I've been "called out" on it many times by multiple girls, but in an LTR do things change at all with regards to giving compliments and just showing general appreciation with her efforts?

Post: #41

Mufasa is on some real shit.

Anytime I compliment a girl it's a back handed one and a diss, or I slap her ass when I say it.

It's never "oh babe you look so beautiful"

It's more like "Do we really need to go out cause I wanna fuck you in (X) what she's wearing"

RARELY, if she's dressed sexy, say for a wedding, this means I'm dressed up, "we're fucking killing these people, hottest couple at this wedding for sure"

"You're weird" or "You're a dork" can be said in a complimenting way.

Post: #42

(03-16-2017 09:37 PM)TheFinalEpic Wrote:  she was in tears saying that she wishes I'd compliment her (I admittedly never do).

IMHO, once it gets to this point it's a sign of high-maintenance. Women don't realize you can't nag or shame your partner into behaving a certain way. If what they want in a partner doesn't happen on its own, they should either settle for what they have or break up over it. The second the drama starts it sets the stages for a breakup anyway.

Where this happened to me, the woman in question was an SMV3. She was expecting physical compliments that she should have realized she didn't deserve. If I were to have said anything, it would have come out really insincere, not to mention it having to be coerced out of me. She should have had the self-realization to know I was struggling to maintain attraction and just been grateful I was there rather than expecting to be treated like a princess. I mean, it's not her fault she was homely, but objectively speaking, she was, and the only thing I accomplished in that relationship was getting in and out without ever telling her how I really felt about her appearance. If I had leveled with her, the resulting damage/drama would have been epic.

If I were with a more attractive woman it would be more a case of rationing out compliments very judiciously. Women may like being told things, but they are experts at body language. It's easy enough to show a woman you think she looks hot in that dress, so to speak, by looking them up and down with a smile on your face, etc... Male gaze works as a convenient short-hand for sickening sweet nothings when you're in a relationship.

Post: #43

I've always been more about the subtle look, and I like the backhanded or blatant "I don't even want to leave with you in that dress, just want to fuck you" type thing. I'm not really going to change at all, but I mean if a rare compliment keeps her happy, so be it.

Post: #44

(03-16-2017 09:37 PM)TheFinalEpic Wrote:  she was in crocodile tears saying that she wishes I'd compliment her.

fixed it for you