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Girls who mention BF BEFORE the bang: waste of time or not?
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Cr33pin Offline
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Post: #26
RE: Girls who mention BF BEFORE the bang: waste of time or not?
(03-19-2015 09:06 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  
(03-18-2015 03:39 PM)Cr33pin Wrote:  I had a buddy... good buddy..back home who had this to say about boyfriends "Boyfriends are like speed bumps, they may slow you down, but they can't stop you"

All the while he was putting in massive effort to score this chick who had a boyfriend and was as some would say "Out of his league" My buddy was a great guy but he was fat, and not gifted in the looks department. I used to cringe at some of the things he would tell this girl, it all seemed so beta to me. Fast forward about 3 years and they are engaged to get married and truly one of the happier couples I know....

Good advice from your buddy, shitty execution from him. It took him three years to get engaged and they are really happy. Great, I hope they are really happy, but this guy is taking for his wife sloppy seconds/thirds/fourths, who knows. Further, they aren't even TO the honeymoon. You can't say this guy is successful with his horrible approach. You really can't. Time will tell. Likely 2-3 years in he'll be miserable or she'll have left him.

I'm not sure what you are saying? If his execution was tight he would have married her after 6 months of dating?? An he is getting sloppy seconds and thirds because his wife is not a virgin??? Can you do me a favor for real and make a break down of how you only fuck virgins? I have had my share of them but I'm not crossing girls off my list because they have been with "2-4" guys before me.

The last part of your gibberish holds true... only time will tell.

Bruising cervix since 96
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03-20-2015 09:37 AM
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Lizard King Offline
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Post: #27
RE: Girls who mention BF BEFORE the bang: waste of time or not?
Tell them you have a girlfriend?
03-22-2015 04:38 AM
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reco2100 Offline
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Post: #28
RE: Girls who mention BF BEFORE the bang: waste of time or not?
I am in this situ right now. Chick is a strong 8, bartender. And I have been working on her slowly, and she is showing massive IOI and interest, and I have even gotten feedback from her buddy bartender who is a nice 7 or her asking about me.

But last time I was there she let slip to a person sitting next to me but obviously in earshot, "my sort of boyfriend, i dont know what we are" I looked at her totally neutral and did not react or say anything. But I am sure it was blurted out for my benefit.

I am going to follow some of the advice on here. See her next week when I am in her town.

"Go get yourself some"
03-27-2015 08:19 PM
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Foolsgo1d Offline
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Post: #29
RE: Girls who mention BF BEFORE the bang: waste of time or not?
Up until the point; I had always left girls standing when they mention a BF or husband. Its a hassle and consequences follow plus I had always seen some hesitation.

One night I was into a cute Lithuanian girl. Bumping and grinding and acting on impusle really. Go for a breather and she says she has a BF. I just straight away said "I don't care". We left 2 minutes later for her place. My mind did a flip because I had never did that before and it resulted in a decent lay.

I had no guilt and I did it again few weeks later. Lesson learned. The girl just wants to have you take the lead so she can get some sex and then rationalise you were leading her.
(This post was last modified: 03-29-2015 07:37 AM by Foolsgo1d.)
03-29-2015 07:35 AM
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Deepdiver Offline
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Post: #30
RE: Girls who mention BF BEFORE the bang: waste of time or not?
(03-19-2015 09:06 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  There's some great advice in this thread, but I think a couple things were missed (not by everyone, but mostly glossed over).

(03-19-2015 08:42 AM)HectorLavoe Wrote:  If this is anywhere in the western world don't take the word "boyfriend" too seriously especially if she works at a bar. Proceed as normal.

YES! She works in a bar. She's much more likely to be open to fucking around, especially if her boyfriend works in the same bar.

A lot of guys also missed that Dalaran1991 is in France. It's seen as WAY more normal/accepted for people in relationships to fuck around on the side as long as it's discreet. What she said here is basically, "I have a boyfriend, let's continue but obviously we need to be discreet:"

(03-18-2015 02:53 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  I read up on the literature here, but it mostly deal with shit test and didn't really answer my question.

Most posters here seem to say that the girls only tell them she has a BF AFTER the bang, but what if she mentions it BEFORE the bang in a casual, non-shit test way?

I've had this happened way too many times the past few weeks, it's ridiculous.

Typical: met and approached a cute girl. She loves talking to you. Decent IOIs, even pass some compliance test. Then 5-10 min inside the convo she casually mentions her boyfriend (not as a shit test).

Example:

danced with this girl, led her around the crowd holding hand, she complies when I wanted to head out for some air. Then I tried to venue change:

Me: So ya know this bar xyz?
Her: yes! I works there as a server. Come Sunday I'll serve you my favorite drink
Me: Let's go now, I'm so thirsty after all this heat.
Her: my boyfriend works there tonight, I'm not sure.

You needed to just up the physicality more or isolate her at home or elsewhere.

(03-18-2015 03:39 PM)Cr33pin Wrote:  I had a buddy... good buddy..back home who had this to say about boyfriends "Boyfriends are like speed bumps, they may slow you down, but they can't stop you"

All the while he was putting in massive effort to score this chick who had a boyfriend and was as some would say "Out of his league" My buddy was a great guy but he was fat, and not gifted in the looks department. I used to cringe at some of the things he would tell this girl, it all seemed so beta to me. Fast forward about 3 years and they are engaged to get married and truly one of the happier couples I know....

Good advice from your buddy, shitty execution from him. It took him three years to get engaged and they are really happy. Great, I hope they are really happy, but this guy is taking for his wife sloppy seconds/thirds/fourths, who knows. Further, they aren't even TO the honeymoon. You can't say this guy is successful with his horrible approach. You really can't. Time will tell. Likely 2-3 years in he'll be miserable or she'll have left him.

(03-19-2015 02:53 PM)Deepdiver Wrote:  I have always explained that I was raised in a Sicilian home by a tough Sicilian American Korean War Veteran and if she marries me its with the Sicilian rules - and if she ever cheats the only way out is a Sicilian divorce. Use your imagination - gets the disloyal sluts sober quick. Easy way to sort the disloyal sluts from the mostly loyal ride and die women

AND

Always keep a secret cash stash and a bug out bag handy so if you have to change venues you can do so comfortably.

Two great insights by Deepdiver. Good to see him posting!

I do have a secret cash stash but I don't have a bug out bag. That's something I'll have to write down a packing list for and get sorted. Never know when you might need to hit the road running. It won't be hard, I usually have a couple bags with toiletries and other essentials (cell phone battery/charger) already packed for traveling because I hate having to unpack/pack over and over. Easier to leave a bag half packed and then put specific stuff in it for each trip so I've been doing that for years.

First crack at a bug out bag:

So what should you have in a bug out bag - recent Nomand Capitalist best offshore banks for Americans report indicated that most favorable countries and banks to open an account in and minimum amounts also if they let you open accounts remote - Canada, Mexico and Switzerland are NOT on the list. You check the State Department country travel sites http://www.state.gov/travel/ for general info and http://travel.state.gov/content/passport...nings.html just scroll down or enter a specific country - usually says how much USD allowed to carry - in most cases you must declare over $10K USD and customs and law enforcement know how to seize "dirty" cash for fun and profit.

So first is to open an offshore account beyond the reach of the IRS, a pissed off old lady or sue happy business acquaintances and get an account with a secured Credit Card that you can use if you want to bug out to a favorable honey paradise on the 90 day visa free Modern Nomad plan. Thus said that you already set up an offshore account so you are not crossing borders with non compliant amouts of cash you need:

Cash of less than $10K in cloth non metal waist and zipper money belts. nothing that will show up in a wand scan or stand out in an Xray scanner.

A US Passport in an RFID shielded wallet including several debit cards and the offshore secured credit card.

US Passport Card in addition to the Passport Book - backup proof of citizenship easy to hide in a small biz cards wallet or money belt in case your Passport book seized, stolen or lost.

Any meds you need, neosporin medicated good for any escape combat scrapes, toothe pain gel if no dentist near where you are going. Make sure all of your dental work up to date before any bug out situation as a dental emergency on the road can lead to an unexpected extraction and recovery lost time.

A wifi enabled cell phone with the Skype & Hushed apps that work with sms and voice over most decent cafe wifi connections so you can always stay in touch with out extra sim cards or massive roaming charges. Also the Gmail app, Yahoo Email app and the new super secure ProtonMail (all servers in Switzerland) app, Airbnb app, couchsurfing app, Priceline.com app - list any other apps you can think of here.

A solar powered USB Cell Phone battery pack - can be a lifesaver in a major power outage. I keep mine on my Die Hard Power pack fully charged at all times.

A small Notebook PC so you can get biz done with out hunt and peck smart phone texting.

Biz casual clothes and underwear suitable for travel and cafe meetings. A rolled up suit and dress shirts if doing biz internationally and perhaps a vonage router with intl plan.

Warm enough clothes on your back, gum and some energy bars until your next meal and if the SHRHTF crud has really hit the fan a couple stacks of one ounce US or Canadian Gold and Silver coins in case Plastic Cards and Paper Currency not being accepted... Some offshore banks let you hold gold for nearly free but last I checked it was large deposit amounts only.

Only toiletries I would carry are the basics, Toothbrush and small tube paste. Pit Stick and small cologne in case you run up on a honey and have not showered for two days and quick pit stick and cologne splash with a quick hair water towel brush and go and you are ready for any day/travel bang opps that fall in your lap.

Lastly personal protection; Pepper Spray, Tazers, a Strong folding "bait" knife for "fishing" and a CCP Concelaed Carry Permit and small frame 9MM can do the trick to get you to any airport or ship (Many cargo ships will take passengers for a nominal fee as well) - only way to travel with this gear is with proper permits and in checked luggage otherwise will need to wipe any prints and dump weapons in public trash cans that are not being bum picked to stay out of legal trouble - do not want to get busted for something stupid (Drugs, Weapons, Weed) on your way to bug out to someplace more agreeable - once you settle in somewhere these items can all be purchased anew - your life not so much - it is only the stupid people who get caught in dodgy circumstances.

Keep her deep - Diver out
(This post was last modified: 03-31-2015 04:10 PM by Deepdiver.)
03-31-2015 04:02 PM
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forever_beta Offline
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Post: #31
RE: Girls who mention BF BEFORE the bang: waste of time or not?
My approach to this was always to just ignore and continue working on her. If she's still responding to your non-verbal advances then the BF is a non-issue. It's common for attractive women to be in relationships and not all of them are meaningful. If she really cares about her BF then she will let you know.

One potential trap in this arena are attention whores. Some taken girls will still go out and flirt with guys for attention and free drinks with no intention to take the interaction further.

(03-27-2015 08:19 PM)reco2100 Wrote:  But last time I was there she let slip to a person sitting next to me but obviously in earshot, "my sort of boyfriend, i dont know what we are" I looked at her totally neutral and did not react or say anything. But I am sure it was blurted out for my benefit.

"My sort of boyfriend" and "I don't know what we are" doesn't sound very important to me.
(This post was last modified: 03-31-2015 10:14 PM by forever_beta.)
03-31-2015 10:05 PM
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ManVsMachine Offline
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Post: #32
RE: Girls who mention BF BEFORE the bang: waste of time or not?
Dalaran1991 Wrote:Her: my boyfriend works there tonight, I'm not sure.



Pay attention bro. This is your key. Normally, I would say no, do not hit on taken women unless there's nothing else available in your life - but my principles are different than others (some are more stringent, many more are less so).


She is giving you breadcrumbs into the fact that she's looking to make a change. There are a few others scattered throughout, but only the most f*cked up attention whores (BPD chicks) will go that far to manipulate.

In the end of the day, its your decision to make.
(This post was last modified: 03-31-2015 10:22 PM by ManVsMachine.)
03-31-2015 10:19 PM
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Wahawahwah Offline
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Post: #33
RE: Girls who mention BF BEFORE the bang: waste of time or not?
Just because there is a goalkeeper doesnt mean that you shouldnt try to score a goal

(This post was last modified: 03-31-2015 10:31 PM by Wahawahwah.)
03-31-2015 10:29 PM
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fucksong Offline
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Post: #34
RE: Girls who mention BF BEFORE the bang: waste of time or not?
(03-22-2015 04:38 AM)Lizard King Wrote:  Tell them you have a girlfriend?

This might not work so well. At least in my experience, even though a girl might cheat on her bf, finding out you have a gf can trigger strange emotions in a girl like suddenly you're not as quality as you used to be plus they might feel a subtle bond with your gf (it's okay to be a bitch to guys but to girls, no). Again, this was my experience


I think something that should be really pointed out in this thread is that it's not a question of whether one can hook up with a gf who has a bf or not, it's def possible, but the better question is how efficient is it to go after them when you could be out hunting for better prospects.

If it's in a club/vacation environment/anywhere where the logistics are good to seal the deal relatively quick, go for it! However, if you're having to plan a Day 2 with the girl, her emotions and MOOD have a high chance of changing, and your odds go down drastically. Shit, if her bf just happens to fuck her well during the time you last saw her, that can kill your chances.

Also, if a girl is gonna do that to her bf, she might do it to you. If you're just looking to fuck, then who cares but I know of a few other guys who are good with women who have gotten sprung on a chick who was cheating on her bf after several hookups. Proceed only if you have other girls on the side but then it's the risk/reward profile. Is it worth it if this girl's bf is some crazy mofo and he found out. Or, even worse, if you actually like the girl and she likes you back but oh smack, she's engaged. I've been there and it's a fucked up situation. Again, if you're just looking for a hit it and split, fair game but you gotta know yourself. If you've truly got options and abundance mentality, no need to go for a chica with a bf UNLESS YOU HAPPEN TO BE AT THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME like a club/vacation spot, which in that case, hey, whatever.

I think it was mentioned earlier in the thread but yeah, if a girl is into you and does have a bf, she wouldn't mention it so early. Although it also depends on context. OP, i think in one of the examples you gave, she only told you because you were gonna take her to a spot where he worked? To me, that sounds like you still had a chance as she was trying to handle logistics for you.

TAKEAWAY - ESCALATE PHYSICALLY QUICKLY TO GET YOUR ANSWER

EDIT: One more takeway. If you do hook up regularly with a girl who has a bf, do NOT develop feelings. It can only go wrong for you AND a girl who might've been down for more ongoing fun might ditch you because you "weren't on the same page" and you were only meant to be an outlet. I've made both mistakes so this is speaking from experience.
(This post was last modified: 04-01-2015 02:27 AM by fucksong.)
04-01-2015 02:25 AM
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germanico Offline
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Post: #35
RE: Girls who mention BF BEFORE the bang: waste of time or not?
Get this: (If you follow the old-school "pua" terminology)

Whenever a chick you have just met mentions a boyfriend, its an indicator of interest.

A HUGE indicator of interest.

Whats the first thing a fat chick says when the dessert cart rolls by her table?

"Oh, but Im on a diet"

Then ten minutes later shes stuffing her face.

Just act as if she didnt say anything. You didnt hear that.

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04-01-2015 01:45 PM
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Alpone Offline
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Post: #36
RE: Girls who mention BF BEFORE the bang: waste of time or not?
What Germanico said. I was at an evening work meeting a few months ago and got a ride home from this new cute chick who was part of our project team. The whole ride home she gave off every IOI possible but also mentioned her BF a couple of times. I realized after I left her car that her talking about her BF was just like a fat girl lying to herself that she really no longer loves cheese cake.

In this particular case, I was the cheese cake and she really wanted a piece of me except that she was on a "diet". If I would of pushed the interaction just a little bit more, I could of brought her back to my apartment. Ignore girl's words, watch their actions.
04-01-2015 09:01 PM
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Stratos Offline
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Post: #37
RE: Girls who mention BF BEFORE the bang: waste of time or not?
I Have A Boyfriend = Can You Be Discreet
04-01-2015 09:10 PM
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RexImperator Offline
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Post: #38
RE: Girls who mention BF BEFORE the bang: waste of time or not?
(04-01-2015 01:45 PM)germanico Wrote:  Get this: (If you follow the old-school "pua" terminology)

Whenever a chick you have just met mentions a boyfriend, its an indicator of interest.

A HUGE indicator of interest.

...

Just act as if she didnt say anything. You didnt hear that.

I agree with the last part but I wonder about the first...I've noticed that sometimes when I get into conversations with girls and I give them strong eye contact then they'll often mention their boyfriend early and out of the blue when it wasn't relevant to the conversation. I often assume this is a way of politely saying "no thanks" or "don't waste your time." Maybe I'm wrong.

On the other hand if they mention it much later in the in the interaction then clearly it should be ignored.

If only you knew how bad things really are.
04-01-2015 09:57 PM
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germanico Offline
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Post: #39
RE: Girls who mention BF BEFORE the bang: waste of time or not?
(04-01-2015 09:57 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  they'll often mention their boyfriend early and out of the blue when it wasn't relevant to the conversation.

Just like they say "we are not having sex tonight" before you even grab her hand.

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04-01-2015 10:02 PM
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