Post: #1

http://www.thecollegefix.com/post/20236/

Editor’s note: Below is a satirical column penned by University of Michigan student Omar Mahmood, who writes for both the mainstream campus newspaper The Michigan Daily and the conservative independent publication the Michigan Review. Or at least he did.

After his column was published last week, Mahmood tells The College Fix: “I received a call from the editorial editor [of the Daily] telling me that I had created a ‘hostile environment’ among the editorial staff and that someone had felt threatened because of what I had written … The issue had been taken to the editor in chief who procured a bylaw by which I was given an ultimatum to leave the Review or leave the Daily within a week. I was not allowed to know the name of the offended individuals.” He added the newspaper’s leaders are “forcing me to write a letter of apology as a condition for staying on the Daily” and suspended his regular column in the Daily.OmarPhoto2

Mahmood has written for both the Review and the Daily concurrently for this fall semester, but after this controversial column was published the Daily’s editors decided “Mr. Mahmood’s involvement with the Michigan Review presents a conflict of interest. Our bylaws say that once a determination is made that a conflict of interest exists, the person in question will have one week to resign from either the Daily or the organization causing the conflict of interest,” according to a statement from the Daily to The College Fix.

Without further ado, we present to you “Do The Left Thing” by Omar Mahmood:

TRIGGER WARNING!

It was one of the coldest days of this winter past, and I was hurrying along the Diag to class. The blistering cold did not turn my eyes from all the white privilege falling around [me]. All those white snowflakes falling thick upon the autumn leaves, burying their colors. Majoring in womyn’s studies, I’ve learned that oppression comes in many forms. Sometimes we fail to notice it because it’s just everywhere – just like that white snow.

As I walked, I slipped on a patch of wet leaves lining the steps of the Hatcher, and I fell forward headfirst onto the steps of the library. If it hadn’t been for the left hand that I thrust out right before my fall, I would have ended up just another statistic in the war on colored people. As it were, a white cis-gendered hetero upper-class man came down the steps just as I was falling. He looked at me with that white man’s burden face that I see too often on this racialized campus.

“Cold, isn’t it?”

Behind his words I sensed a patronizing sneer, as if he expected me to be a spokespersyn for my whole race. He offered his hand to help me up, and I thought to myself how this might be a manifestation of the patriarchy patronizing me. I doubt he would’ve said those violent words had I been white, but he would take any opportunity to patronize a colored [email protected] or womyn. People on this campus always box others in based on race. Triggered, I waved his hand aside and got up of my own accord.

He was taken aback. Suddenly I felt I was taking back some of that lost agency that colonialism had robbed my people of. I felt like Aamir Khan in Lagaan. That’s right, that white man wasn’t about to tax me. I didn’t even want to be that white. I turned on my heels and showed him my back.

He shouted after me, “I was just trying to do the right thing!”

The right thing… The right thing… I became so aware at that moment of the left hand that I had thrust out before falling, and suddenly my humanity was reduced to my handydnyss. The words rang in my eardrums, and my blood throbbed. This was the microaggression that broke the gender-neutral camel’s back. But unlike other microaggressions, this one triggered a shift in my worldview. All this while, I had been obsessed only with the color on this campus. All of a sudden, though, that became a side issue. All those race-based microaggressions now seemed trivial. I had, I realized, forgotten to think intersectionally.

The biggest obstacle to equality today is our barbaric attitude toward people of left-handydnyss. It’s a tragedy that I, a member of the left-handed community, had little to no idea of the atrocious persecution that we are dealt every day by institutions that are deeply embedded in society. So deeply embedded, and so ever-present, that we don’t even notice them.

But then I think to the word sinister. In our English, it means evil. But that’s because it used to mean left-handed in the Latin, and left-handyd people, especially those of color, were considered evil. In organic chemistry, we are taught R and S distinctions. I realize now that whenever we came across a left-handyd enantiomer in the coursepack, I could just feel the patronizing gaze of the right-handed members of the class on the back of my neck. And now I finally understand why.

And the University of Michigan does literally nothing to combat the countless instances of violence we encounter every day. Whenever I walk into a classroom, I can hardly find a left-handyd desk to sit in. In big lecture halls, I’m met with countless stares as I walk up the aisle along the left-handyd column. The University cannot claim to be my school while it continues to oppress me. We need to find allies with other minority groups and work against the establishment. This campus must be at the forefront of progress in America.

Yes, our president might be left-handyd. But that does not represent the pathetic living conditions of so many left-handyd people around the world, and even here in the United States, who are constantly threatened simply because they write or eat with a different hand. Even today, left-handyd [email protected] are paid 68 cents to the dollar that right-handed individuals are paid.

It is 2014, people. Still, change starts with awareness. Until right-handed people, especially cis-gendered hetero white males in salmon shorts, do not start checking their privilege, we will continue to live in inequality.

No longer will I persevere in patience. No longer will I suffer in silence. I am a left-handyd [email protected], and my humanity needs be respected! The next time someone tells you to Do the right thing! turn around and flick them off with your left middle finger.

Do the left thing.

Post: #2

Great satire, fuck that college for taking a joke seriously.

Post: #3

This is funny as hell. I think we should give him some kind of award or invite him to write for ROK.

As for the college students who got him canned, once again in three-part harmony: MILENNIALS HAVE NO FUCKING SENSE OF HUMOR!!!!!

Post: #4

Great work, which one of you is Omar?

The fact that someone feels 'threatened' by this and the University is taking disciplinary action against him confirms the truth the satire was based on.

Post: #5

Contact him to write for ROK.

Post: #6

Bitches are dumb! Look at this:





Will all that deconstructionism, postmodernism, literary criticism, cultural anthropology, sociology and the rest, these bitches can't even sneak into a college room without seeing a camera staring them right in the face.

Post: #7

Post: #8

In that video are the bitches going after dude who wrote the article? It's a god damn joke you cunts!

Post: #9

(12-16-2014 05:20 PM)godfather dust Wrote:  In that video are the bitches going after dude who wrote the article? It's a god damn joke you cunts!

Yep, they got caught on camera.

Feminists, like the North Korean government, simply can't take a joke unfortunately.

Post: #10

(12-16-2014 04:28 PM)Jevioso Wrote:  Bitches are dumb! Look at this:





Will all that deconstructionism, postmodernism, literary criticism, cultural anthropology, sociology and the rest, these bitches can't even sneak into a college room without seeing a camera staring them right in the face.

"Red Pill Philosophy1 day ago
"This is probably why SJWs are SO obsessed with rape: it's a subconscious wish-fulfillment."

Post: #11

Sounds pretty Hostile in that newspaper, people can not even write a satire without being fired for their beliefs! Shockingly unaccepting.

Post: #12

(12-16-2014 03:34 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  This is funny as hell. I think we should give him some kind of award or invite him to write for ROK.

As for the college students who got him canned, once again in three-part harmony: MILENNIALS HAVE NO FUCKING SENSE OF HUMOR!!!!!

...and neither did Hitler or Goebbels.

These people are the biggest Fascists of our generation.

Of course, unlike the Brownshirts of history, they lack the courage to actually pick up a rifle. They just infiltrate media and academia instead. Once these two implode (and they will in the coming decades), their leverage will cease.

Post: #13

The bottom line is he was silenced because he made fun of leftist ideology. And then they say someone was "threatened" and he created a "hostile environment". He has grounds for a slander suit. And this is a public university. His accuser is unknown and judgment it passed on him without a chance to defend himself and with an unaccountable "judge" making a unilateral decision. Isn't there due process at a public university supported by taxpayers? And what about a public university violating freedom of speech? Their response is so extreme for a mild satire. And then they vandalize his place. I see multiple laws being broken here. Are we at the point now in the United States where conservatives are targets of violence without legal recourse?

Post: #14

As per Reason, looks like he was let go from the Daily after he refused to apologize. They used an archaic bylaw that states than an individual has to have approval from the editor of the Daily to work at both newspapers. I'm not sure how this will play out given that it's a public university and he was pressured to apologize before being terminated for a different reason. Either way, I'm looking forward to these femitards getting busted for vandalism. How he goes after them for as much as he can.


Edit: here's the Reason article http://reason.com/blog/2014/12/15/social...ze-apartme

Post: #15

That was satire? I was agreeing with him. I hate the hypocrisy of midwestern winters. People want their "white Christmas" but hate the black ice that it overpowers and oppresses.

   
   

Post: #16

(12-16-2014 07:33 PM)rocksteady Wrote:  As per Reason, looks like he was let go from the Daily after he refused to apologize.

So not only does he have a sense of humour, but a spine as well. No wonder they want him silenced.

Post: #17

(12-16-2014 07:33 PM)rocksteady Wrote:  As per Reason, looks like he was let go from the Daily after he refused to apologize. They used an archaic bylaw that states than an individual has to have approval from the editor of the Daily to work at both newspapers. I'm not sure how this will play out given that it's a public university and he was pressured to apologize before being terminated for a different reason. Either way, I'm looking forward to these femitards getting busted for vandalism. How he goes after them for as much as he can.


Edit: here's the Reason article http://reason.com/blog/2014/12/15/social...ze-apartme

I'm glad Reason is writing about this. But writer Robby Soave claims the vandalism and intolerance is due to "liberalism." Wrong.

True liberalism helped expand free speech back in the days of the Berkeley Free Speech movement of the 1960s (look it up). The Berkeley Barb would have loved an editorial like this and they were as liberal as they come. The late, beloved super-liberal folk singer Phil Ochs thrilled his audiences with a cutting satirical song that poked fun at liberals called "Love Me, I'm a Liberal" in 1966.

What we have here is college-women's-culture and feminism shutting down free speech. Like in elementary school. As long as conservatives keep trotting out the inaccurate insult of "liberalism," they will get nowhere because they're fighting the wrong enemy.

Liberalism in its classic form did not bring us this culture. Feminism did. Feminism falls under the umbrella of liberalism and brought us political correctness, which helped poison the cause, so it's easy to get it mixed up. But before feminism, liberals were all about free speech. And they could be funny. That Ochs tune is hilarious.

In fact, I bet Ochs would have loved this editorial. Here is a verse from that song:

"I cheered when Humphrey was chosen
My faith in the system restored
I'm glad the commies were thrown out
of the A.F.L. C.I.O. board
I love Puerto Ricans and Negros
as long as they don't move next door
So love me, love me, love me, I'm a liberal"

Post: #18

Ha reminds me of this:

Post: #19

Best satire I've read in years.

Post: #20

(12-16-2014 08:59 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

(12-16-2014 07:33 PM)rocksteady Wrote:  As per Reason, looks like he was let go from the Daily after he refused to apologize. They used an archaic bylaw that states than an individual has to have approval from the editor of the Daily to work at both newspapers. I'm not sure how this will play out given that it's a public university and he was pressured to apologize before being terminated for a different reason. Either way, I'm looking forward to these femitards getting busted for vandalism. How he goes after them for as much as he can.


Edit: here's the Reason article http://reason.com/blog/2014/12/15/social...ze-apartme

I'm glad Reason is writing about this. But writer Robby Soave claims the vandalism and intolerance is due to "liberalism." Wrong.

True liberalism helped expand free speech back in the days of the Berkeley Free Speech movement of the 1960s (look it up). The Berkeley Barb would have loved an editorial like this and they were as liberal as they come. The late, beloved super-liberal folk singer Phil Ochs thrilled his audiences with a cutting satirical song that poked fun at liberals called "Love Me, I'm a Liberal" in 1966.

What we have here is college-women's-culture and feminism shutting down free speech. Like in elementary school. As long as conservatives keep trotting out the inaccurate insult of "liberalism," they will get nowhere because they're fighting the wrong enemy.

Liberalism in its classic form did not bring us this culture. Feminism did. Feminism falls under the umbrella of liberalism and brought us political correctness, which helped poison the cause, so it's easy to get it mixed up. But before feminism, liberals were all about free speech. And they could be funny. That Ochs tune is hilarious.

In fact, I bet Ochs would have loved this editorial. Here is a verse from that song:

"I cheered when Humphrey was chosen
My faith in the system restored
I'm glad the commies were thrown out
of the A.F.L. C.I.O. board
I love Puerto Ricans and Negros
as long as they don't move next door
So love me, love me, love me, I'm a liberal"

That may be true in the past, however today liberalism/feminism/SJWism is essentially one and the same.

Very difficult to separate one from the other.

Post: #21

(12-16-2014 09:50 PM)Hotwheels Wrote:  That may be true in the past, however today liberalism/feminism/SJWism is essentially one and the same.

Very difficult to separate one from the other.

Liberalism outside North America still means Classic Liberalism, i.e Australia's Liberal Party or Japan's LDP. It's only in North America that Liberal means Left wing or Progressive. Everywhere else Liberals are either centre-right, or centrists who coalition with the right (like in the U.K and Germany).

Post: #22

(12-16-2014 11:47 PM)Deluge Wrote:  

(12-16-2014 09:50 PM)Hotwheels Wrote:  That may be true in the past, however today liberalism/feminism/SJWism is essentially one and the same.

Very difficult to separate one from the other.

Liberalism outside North America still means Classic Liberalism, i.e Australia's Liberal Party or Japan's LDP. It's only in North America that Liberal means Left wing or Progressive. Everywhere else Liberals are either centre-right, or centrists who coalition with the right (like in the U.K and Germany).

Does classical liberalism still believe in equality,fraternity and liberty? As the french revolutionaries as of old?

Post: #23

Hot dogs and eggs!

I can't imagine the fear and intimidation Omar felt when he got home

Post: #24

(12-16-2014 11:58 PM)Dark Knowledge Wrote:  

Hot dogs and eggs!

I can't imagine the fear and intimidation Omar felt when he got home

That's just a waste of the credits on the student meal plan.



My roomate and I used to:

1)Superglue door locks shut
2) Take each other's car and drive them to the other side of campus.
3) Draw symbols from WW2 in the halls so the entire floor would have "diversity meetings".

That was only 2008 have college kids gotten that soft?? Can anyone in college confirm?

Post: #25

I'm a senior. College kids can throw parties and raves, do cool things on Halloween, but I haven't really seen much in the way of large-scale pranks.