Post: #1

Hi everyone, I have been navigating through the forum since 2011, and I have been a member just recently. Am in my middle twenties, still virgin and never even kissed a girl. Basically, my experience with women equals zero (although I have been reading "PUA" material since I have been 16 years old).

Anyway, I decided the beginning of this week to handle this part of my life and start approaching women. I couldn't do it at first because of approach anxiety, then got numbers these last 2 days. I have learned from them a lot, and I want to share with you my mistakes so you could learn from them as well and avoid them.

-1st interaction:
I had just finished work and went to eat lunch somewhere near a very crowded street, saw one lovely girl with a great body walking by herself, I was attracted to her a lot and didn't want to let her go, I couldn't handle letting girls slip through my fingers. Enough is enough! So I followed her for a long distance. She was walking very fast, I managed to approach her. I touched her on the elbow, got her attention and told her how cute she is and blah blah blah. To make things short, we talked about work, studies, etc.. All this went for like 5 minutes, she told me she was busy to work and had to go that's why she was walking fast. But she told me to exchange phone numbers, I said ok to her, we swapped numbers and we separated.
The evening I tried to tease her a bit with some texting, she responded well by laughing at all the things I say, although replying with at maximum 2 sentences (an early signal that she was not that interested, or that I have to work more. I don't really know), then after some messaging back and forth, she didn't reply at all. I texted her the following day, same thing. So now am pretty sure that this girl is gone.

-2nd interaction:
I was a bit disappointed that I have lost touch with such a sexy girl. Then I decided that I have to get a new number from another chick the same day. I went to the train the same evening after work to see some old friends. I was walking along the train when a saw a very cute girl, she was physically attractive and I didn't want to miss the occasion. I sat next to her, she was listening to music. I tapped her on the shoulder so she can remove her earbuds. I forgot was I asked her (I think a closed question), and went silent. But what was interesting is that she didn't put them back, like she was waiting for me to say something, and I thought it was on!. I throwed some words at her (forgot again) and we started chatting about studies, as she is still studying at a university where I know some guys. We talked about her future perspective after finishing studying,...etc. During the travel she was leaning into me, touching me accidentally once, and making strong eye contact. At one point I had to go, so I told her to give me her phone number so we can stay in touch and maybe meet this following week. I took my phone and handled it to her. She told me she doesn't know her number -what?- and she had to check it on her phone. She checked her phone and gave me some random number, I called her rapidly so she can save my number. I greeted her, she was smiling back and I went out. Late in the evening, before heading to bed I sent her a text. Another person replied to me saying that's her sister(she is maybe her best friend). I told her what the hell is going on??! She texted me back saying that this girl is going to get married soon and her future husband doesn't want her to speak or interact with boys! -what again?!- and that I should forget her.
I was so confused and angry at the same time. I felt very very weak, how could girls be so sneaky do this to guys? This is really immoral.

Now here is what I learned, and I really hope that you don't make the same mistakes guys:
- Never (and I repeat, it Never!) assume that because you had a girl's attention and had the balls to approach her during the glaring light of the day -something that many many guys can't do- you have built strong attraction. I have read it many times elsewhere, and I simply say that this is bull***t. Simply going through comfort quickly is a bad idea. Maybe it works with some girls, but I think for many that's not the case. Now the question is, how to amplify attraction early in the interaction and move forward to comfort (I currently don't know).
- Never say that because you get indicators of interest that you have won a girl. This is somewhat paradoxal, as these signals are meant to show that the girl is into you. But for the two interactions above, that was strictly not the case. Women in this regard are also very unpredictable.
- When you both agree to exchange phone numbers, either you take her phone and call yourself, or you call her and make sure 300% that her phone is ringing or something. You must see your number displayed on her phone.
- Master text game, especially with young girls, this is really really important. I don't know what went wrong with the first chick. Either I went overboard on attraction by just making her laugh as a clown or something else.
- You have to be confident, by not giving a damn about what others around you say or think when talking to girls. You have to be really relaxed (or at least fake it). When I was in the train, 2 dudes were eavesdropping on our conversation, they were whispering something to each other and laugh. I was very stressed and sometimes mumbled nosense things, but the girl tried to keep the conversation going well.
- Don't think that by dressing sharply you'll easily win girls over. Obviously that's a plus at first to get their attention and curiosity, but after that it doesn't really matter you still have to work.
- And lastly don't be naive and expect anything from girls, especially the most vicious things(like in the 2nd interaction). You could be a good person, but I think that sarging is like going to war. Women are more educated than us in this regard, and can use all the weapons they learned from their circle. They could harm you and be okay with it. I know it takes time and hard work to overcome this, that's why it's important to fail and learn as fast as possible by moving from the couch reading books (active learning vs passive), and focus on real life interactions. I guess learning game is a very painful path, and some like me have to take a solo route (I don't have supporting friends at the time being) which makes things more tough. Although I am confused and disappointed right now, these experiences are what motivates me to do my best next time.
I'll take a rest this weekend as am very mentally exhausted, but I'll start approaching again next week, and post again my future mistakes.
Cheers!

Post: #2

Glad to hear you are putting all of this stuff into practice. Many guys who get laid regularly have trouble approaching and getting #'s from women in public like that. That takes balls and you are well on your way to having success. Sometimes you do everything right and won't end up getting anywhere. But this is why you do a lot of approaches.

I will nitpick a little though, it really does seem like you got overly chatty with the girl via text in situation #1. Past a few niceties, you are wasting your time if you aren't just setting up a time to meet with the girl. Only thing that can happen if you get too text happy is that she loses interest and stops replying. Also don't micro analyze each text, saying that she only replied with two sentences (which in my experience is a lot for texting, especially with women my age) reeks of this. Send the first text saying it's you, chitchat for a couple minutes, then make plans and stop talking. Keep it simple.

Situation #2 was dead in the water from the beginning but glad you got something out of it. Don't expect any type courtesy from girls you are hitting on, they would rather beat around the bush and go through all this trouble to avoid saying something as simple as "I have a fiancee."

Post: #3

1. Read Bang
2. Read Day Bang
3. The Roosh Program

Post: #4

(12-12-2014 09:26 PM)ihatevegetables Wrote:  - Never (and I repeat, it Never!) assume that because you had a girl's attention and had the balls to approach her during the glaring light of the day -something that many many guys can't do- you have built strong attraction. I have read it many times elsewhere, and I simply say that this is bull***t. Simply going through comfort quickly is a bad idea. Maybe it works with some girls, but I think for many that's not the case. Now the question is, how to amplify attraction early in the interaction and move forward to comfort (I currently don't know).

Simple answer: flirting amplifies attraction. You have to learn how to flirt.

Fancy answer:
- Mix flirting with normal "get to know each other" chit chat. You can do it by putting those attraction spikes [push/pull, teases, misinterpretations, roleplays, etc] in between normal conversation. So technically it looks like this: chat chat chat spike! chat chat chat spike! chat chat chat spike! chat chat chat spike! etc etc...

- Use more statements and less questions. If you want to know where a girl studies instead of asking her tell her she looks like a science nerd [or something equally ridiculous]. She will deny and tell you what she studies. This is an emotional spike for her and it gets her to tell you what she really studies. Just be careful cause you might love this technique so much that you will catch yourself never asking any questions ever ; )

- Don't view social interaction too logically. Good conversation is very fluid and random and all over the place. Look at how you talk to you friends. You probably just talk shit and enjoy the mish mash. It's same with girls you meet. It's ok if the interaction is kind of chaotic. You can change topics out of the blue and whenever you want, you can change the mood as you wish, you can do whatever. Basically what I'm saying is don't be attached to the one thing. I see this a lot. I see guys start a topic and then get stuck with it cause they think they need some sort of logical transition to start talking about something different. Other times girls takeover that topic and the guy goes into spectator mode and just listens to her yapping forever. Don't do it. It might make no sense to you but you can literally change topic every 3 sentences and girls will just follow your lead.

Post: #5

Thank you for your input guys, I really appreciate it :)

I was a bit mentally exhausted from what happened, but it's okay today :)

Quote:Simple answer: flirting amplifies attraction. You have to learn how to flirt.

You're right, and I must admit that I lack in this area. I've been going into deep rapport without plowing flirting stuff and changing subjects quickly into something I master. This makes me think that in order to do day game properly, one must have a "conversational roadmap" containing subjects to go through, for instance: work, hobbies,...etc. As you said, it isn't about taking conversations too logically, but just to have a broad idea about where to lead the conversation without being stressed about what to say next.

Quote:Situation #2 was dead in the water from the beginning but glad you got something out of it. Don't expect any type courtesy from girls you are hitting on, they would rather beat around the bush and go through all this trouble to avoid saying something as simple as "I have a fiancee."

What you said made me think of this :p

Post: #6

"When you both agree to exchange phone numbers, either you take her phone and call yourself, or you call her and make sure 300% that her phone is ringing or something. You must see your number displayed on her phone."

Good point about making sure the number ain't a fake. Also another points is always check her hand, if she is wearing a ring second guess about approaching. It ain't worth the 10 minutes of your time to find out she is engaged or married.

Post: #7

(12-13-2014 03:58 PM)TripleG Wrote:  "When you both agree to exchange phone numbers, either you take her phone and call yourself, or you call her and make sure 300% that her phone is ringing or something. You must see your number displayed on her phone."

Good point about making sure the number ain't a fake. Also another points is always check her hand, if she is wearing a ring second guess about approaching. It ain't worth the 10 minutes of your time to find out she is engaged or married.

Yea, Krauser suggests this. Verify the number on the spot with a text. This lowers the amount of flakes you have. If they are unwilling to do such a basic number exchange, they are probably going to do something flakey anyways like give you a fake number (or in the case of the OP, give a friends #).

Post: #8

(12-13-2014 12:22 AM)tallandblonde Wrote:  Glad to hear you are putting all of this stuff into practice. Many guys who get laid regularly have trouble approaching and getting #'s from women in public like that. That takes balls and you are well on your way to having success. Sometimes you do everything right and won't end up getting anywhere. But this is why you do a lot of approaches.

I will nitpick a little though, it really does seem like you got overly chatty with the girl via text in situation #1. Past a few niceties, you are wasting your time if you aren't just setting up a time to meet with the girl. Only thing that can happen if you get too text happy is that she loses interest and stops replying. Also don't micro analyze each text, saying that she only replied with two sentences (which in my experience is a lot for texting, especially with women my age) reeks of this. Send the first text saying it's you, chitchat for a couple minutes, then make plans and stop talking. Keep it simple.

Situation #2 was dead in the water from the beginning but glad you got something out of it. Don't expect any type courtesy from girls you are hitting on, they would rather beat around the bush and go through all this trouble to avoid saying something as simple as "I have a fiancee."

Couldn't agree more with this. Aside from a couple of initial flirty or chit-chatty texts, you want to go right to asking for the date. Maintaining a text conversation is agonizing.