Post: #2176

I got my cyborg flag last night.

She had a titanium rod running the length of her left leg and literally did not have a knee.

Cowgirl was impossible, but we were able to mount a modified doggy-style with the help of about five pillows. She'd previously only been screwed in missionary.



I took a picture of her.

Post: #2177

(12-09-2014 05:58 PM)Frostbite Wrote:  31 y/o Tinder 6/10 . First Romanian.

We had already been sexting / exchanging photos. We arranged for me to pick her up from work and take her to my area. So i'm thinking easy one.

When we met tonight she said "I'm not going back to yours" and "you can't get what you want" almost straight away.

She finally agreed to come back to mine after i reassured her it's close by and that "i would be good" in her words.

Took for a quick drink, kissing and touching when the "be good" comes out again.

Back to mine. We're in bed. Same old "be good". Ok babes fuck that. Did the usual LMR thing. Kept physically escalating (ignoring her shit). She started getting into it.. and yeah ... screaming the house down.

Told me afterwards in broken Romanian english "its like all the bad feelings built up have gone WOOOOSH out of there (points to her vagina)"

And that she had a boyfriend..

Funny one

- I have a boyfriend
- There will be no sex tonight
- You won't get what you want
- Be good
- WOOOOOOOSH

Yeah, we've heard them all. All excuses that make the girl sell herself. Good job.

Post: #2178

(12-09-2014 08:09 PM)Roardog Wrote:  I had a similar thing happen to me except she asked me before the bang and I told her I wasn't paying but I'd bang her for free. She tried to wait me out but I didn't budge so she ended up banging me for free.
Then I kicked her out haha

How do you wait her out after the offer's already on the table?

I met a girl off SA who was like that, and I tried to wait her out but she got dressed and left. It seems to me though that after the offer is put out, it's always right there in front of you, so I'm curious what you did...talk about something completely unrelated? Or keep the sex stuff going on and ignore the $ issue?

Post: #2179

(12-09-2014 10:05 PM)monster Wrote:  

(12-09-2014 08:09 PM)Roardog Wrote:  I had a similar thing happen to me except she asked me before the bang and I told her I wasn't paying but I'd bang her for free. She tried to wait me out but I didn't budge so she ended up banging me for free.
Then I kicked her out haha

How do you wait her out after the offer's already on the table?

I met a girl off SA who was like that, and I tried to wait her out but she got dressed and left. It seems to me though that after the offer is put out, it's always right there in front of you, so I'm curious what you did...talk about something completely unrelated? Or keep the sex stuff going on and ignore the $ issue?

My buddy and I picked these two chicks up at a club while we were hammered. I take mine home and we're getting hot and heavy and then she stops me and says "how much will you give me?"
I was shocked as I had no idea she was a hooker but I don't pay for sex so I said to her "I don't need to pay for sex and I'm not starting now. I'd like to bang you but I'm not paying for it. So we can either have some free fun as consenting adults or there's the door."
She got dressed and then sat on a chair looking at me. I just relaxed on my bed looking straight back at her, didn't say anything.
After a while I got jack of it and said "make a decision, stick around and have fun with me or there's the door. You've got 30 seconds."
She waited a while longer until I started counting down from 10 and then just said Ok and got undressed.
I banged her and afterwards said "get the fuck out".

To be honest I'm surprised she banged me for free, I expected her to walk.
But either was I wasn't going to part with any of my money. I hate scams like that, they're bullshit.

Post: #2180

Finally broke a ~two month new-notch dry spell, been working like a dog and could barely keep a couple regulars satisfied. It was blizzarding hard here all yesterday and today so I was home. Towards the evening in between leg sets and a glass of Black Box I fired up OKC mobile for the first time in 3 weeks and replied to a few conversations left hanging. Surprisingly they all got right back to me. One in particular I first started talking to near 6 months ago. Senior at a small ultra-liberal, uber-crunchy college not far from me. I wasn't that interested and was semi-trolling her at the time but she continued responding before things died out, it was like she was too nice to not reply, let alone say "fuck off". She restarted it maybe 6 weeks ago and we set something up and I bailed again to catch up on sleep. Turns out she's moving in a couple weeks, I said we should hang out soon then.
"I can't really drive anywhere, my tires are terrible (True, I had to drive her car out of her nearly flat driveway in the AM for her and barely made it) but there's bluegrass at XX"
Gave her a statement of mild interest and talked about working my legs to which she responded along the lines of "needing a massage, her therapist hasn't been able to get her in when she can make it". *Ding ding, DTF
"Me too, maybe we can trade" and change of subject.

With the weather I was debating staying in again but my decision was made easier when the power went out. Between sitting home alone in the dark or risking life and limb to chase tail it was an easy call - threw on some boots and shoveled out the truck. I grew up driving in the snow belt but these roads were incredibly bad, alternately heavy wet snow and rain so mounds of slush everywhere. Bunch of cars were off the road, I went sideways twice trying to go over 35 so settled into a routine at that speed or below. Watched a Camry in front of me go sideways and nearly smack the guardrail head on before pulling over.

Finally picked her up and drove to a bar near her college. Walked in to a scene with more hair and beards than than a ZZ Top reunion tour. I probably stood out as the only older guy and non-hippy there but gamed as usual. DHV stories and mild cocky funny game were not doing it for her, seemed distant but opened up when I went more for the rapport and nice guy vibe. Bought two rounds and had an app for myself which she didn't even try to get in on. Petite blonde playing the washboard with a paper saying "Black lives matter" taped to was eyefucking me. She was honestly cuter than my date but "a bird in hand" as they say... I had seeded with a unique beer in addition to the massage in case that seemed to forward to her when it came time but she was a lightweight and shot down further drinking so on the drive back she was talking about cleaning I asked
"Did you dig out your candles and massage oil then?"
"Haha, I always know where those are"
I pulled up, put it in park
"Thanks for driving"
"No problem. You ready to take me up on that massage now?"
"Well sure, if you want to do it now"

Went inside, massaged her for a while, she did me. Eventually turned over and pulled her onto me which she deflected by falling to the side. Continued rubbing on each other and went for the kiss. She didn't turn but didn't reciprocate at all. Moving real slowly, like 2 steps forward 1.75 back, eventually got her top off and turned on and kissing, and finally naked.

Probably one of the worst bangs I've had. Wrapped it up and got it in and at first she was playing with herself and getting into a little but eventually stopped and just laid there. After she apologized and said she "wished she could just enjoy sex but needed more of a holistic emotional connection." Talking afterwards I do believe I was her first ONS, sounded like she'd only been with one guy prior to earlier this year. I spent the night, she made a banging smoothie for breakfast and I got her car out of the driveway so she could get some snows on it. All in all unremarkable, and although a sweet girl I will not see her again, but hey, notch is a notch and even better when it ends a dry spell.

Post: #2181

Just pocketed a 8.5/10 Thai chick with insane amounts of LMR.

I bring her to my place for "Movies and dinner", during movies I manage after 2 hours to take her panties off, start rubbing her clito, and she sits up, "let's watch movie!". I just whisper "yeah" and continue what I was doing. 4 times like that, and I finally manage to finger her. After 10 seconds, she stands up, "I'm not ready yet". I try to calm her down, but she is just "not ready".

We proceed to dinner, and I get a bit of wine, hoping alcohol will dilute her. We get back to another movie, still same LMR shit, and after 10 attempts, I finally get the lay. It wasn't the best bang ever, but I just wanted to win over the LMR.

Note: I fucked her with a "halfer" because I was getting a bit pissed by too much LMR and was about to lose interest.

Post: #2182

Kosovar Ethnic Albanian Flag Captured!

I friggin love Hawaii because of the foreigners visiting. I'm racking up a new flag almost every 30 days now!

Was at a popular club in Honolulu late last night (12/12-/13) and early this morning. I made friends with this Costa Rican brotha from NY and we decided to be wingmen. Started off opening some Asian Hawaiians for a warm-up then move on to this Ecuadorian and some sista who appeared to have some Asian admixture.

When that fizzled out my wingman wandered off and then I proceeded to go after a girlie who looked exactly like Coco (facially) with a short neck length hair cut. She was not satisfied with my celebrity comparison: "You mean that chubby white girl?" But I got some face time with a hot blonde so my high-yella black ass was happy.

At this point I proceeded to dance my ass off and show these wallflowers and boring ass bishes that I can have fun all by myself. I'm 6'3" so I'm quite a sight and can cover alot of ground when dancing.

All of a sudden this dark-skinned Indian bro walks up to me and says whats up. I return the greeting and he tells me that his friend wants to meet me. The Desi bro points out this nice looking mediterranean gal with a nice bumpa in a blue dress with a sequined frilly-top to it. She had piercing green eyes and sharp eyebrows that gave her an almost Persian look although her hair was a dark brown with a few tinges of blonde.

I'm thinking the guy's setting me up but I say what the hell and walk over to shortie - I'm in love. I always loved women with those dark mediterranean features that hint at some middle eastern ancestry. I intro myself and then guess her nationality. First I guess "Israeli?" - Nope. She tells me Albanian (nice, very nice). I play worldy brotha game and say "Ah, Shqiptare? (Albanian?)". Her eyes grow wide and then squint with a smile - the gal's duly impressed.

She tells me she grew up in Kosovo but then moved to Sweden and was visiting Hawaii. We dance the entire night; kissy kissy, grab the booty, and I get her liqoured up. She talks to her friends and tells them she's going home with me (God I love Euro women). We have a number of interesting conversations about gender relations and she tells me that it's important for women to be feminine and take care of the husband and house (marry me bitch!)

Take her back to base, eat that sweet pussy, eat the ass, 69 blah blah. Straight pile drive her and man her body was rocking. Nice thick delicious thighs, tan lines, and dat ass...oh dat ass. I finish her off in the prone doggy. Fuck her once again in the morning and man she was a screamer - bust a nut on her ass and in her booty hole and everything- im ready to make cappucino babies with this woman - oh Mama Albania!

She's 32, I'm 28. I will conquer the Balkans!

Post: #2183

(12-10-2014 09:15 PM)Gorgiass Wrote:  Finally broke a ~two month new-notch dry spell, been working like a dog and could barely keep a couple regulars satisfied. It was blizzarding hard here all yesterday and today so I was home. Towards the evening in between leg sets and a glass of Black Box I fired up OKC mobile for the first time in 3 weeks and replied to a few conversations left hanging. Surprisingly they all got right back to me. One in particular I first started talking to near 6 months ago. Senior at a small ultra-liberal, uber-crunchy college not far from me. I wasn't that interested and was semi-trolling her at the time but she continued responding before things died out, it was like she was too nice to not reply, let alone say "fuck off". She restarted it maybe 6 weeks ago and we set something up and I bailed again to catch up on sleep. Turns out she's moving in a couple weeks, I said we should hang out soon then.
"I can't really drive anywhere, my tires are terrible (True, I had to drive her car out of her nearly flat driveway in the AM for her and barely made it) but there's bluegrass at XX"
Gave her a statement of mild interest and talked about working my legs to which she responded along the lines of "needing a massage, her therapist hasn't been able to get her in when she can make it". *Ding ding, DTF
"Me too, maybe we can trade" and change of subject.

With the weather I was debating staying in again but my decision was made easier when the power went out. Between sitting home alone in the dark or risking life and limb to chase tail it was an easy call - threw on some boots and shoveled out the truck. I grew up driving in the snow belt but these roads were incredibly bad, alternately heavy wet snow and rain so mounds of slush everywhere. Bunch of cars were off the road, I went sideways twice trying to go over 35 so settled into a routine at that speed or below. Watched a Camry in front of me go sideways and nearly smack the guardrail head on before pulling over.

Finally picked her up and drove to a bar near her college. Walked in to a scene with more hair and beards than than a ZZ Top reunion tour. I probably stood out as the only older guy and non-hippy there but gamed as usual. DHV stories and mild cocky funny game were not doing it for her, seemed distant but opened up when I went more for the rapport and nice guy vibe. Bought two rounds and had an app for myself which she didn't even try to get in on. Petite blonde playing the washboard with a paper saying "Black lives matter" taped to was eyefucking me. She was honestly cuter than my date but "a bird in hand" as they say... I had seeded with a unique beer in addition to the massage in case that seemed to forward to her when it came time but she was a lightweight and shot down further drinking so on the drive back she was talking about cleaning I asked
"Did you dig out your candles and massage oil then?"
"Haha, I always know where those are"
I pulled up, put it in park
"Thanks for driving"
"No problem. You ready to take me up on that massage now?"
"Well sure, if you want to do it now"

Went inside, massaged her for a while, she did me. Eventually turned over and pulled her onto me which she deflected by falling to the side. Continued rubbing on each other and went for the kiss. She didn't turn but didn't reciprocate at all. Moving real slowly, like 2 steps forward 1.75 back, eventually got her top off and turned on and kissing, and finally naked.

Probably one of the worst bangs I've had. Wrapped it up and got it in and at first she was playing with herself and getting into a little but eventually stopped and just laid there. After she apologized and said she "wished she could just enjoy sex but needed more of a holistic emotional connection." Talking afterwards I do believe I was her first ONS, sounded like she'd only been with one guy prior to earlier this year. I spent the night, she made a banging smoothie for breakfast and I got her car out of the driveway so she could get some snows on it. All in all unremarkable, and although a sweet girl I will not see her again, but hey, notch is a notch and even better when it ends a dry spell.

Shit you put up with near blizzard conditions for the poom-poom. My hat's off to you, Sir.

Post: #2184

Friday night... 5.5/10 ons 22y/o

Met at a club..smoking area.

She asked if I had a light. I said you don't need a cigarette , come here. Took a toke of my cigarette and blew smoke in her mouth. Made out .. Two minutes later ..

Me - where do you live
Her - 10 minutes away
Me - shall we go back to yours
Her - yeah

Had sex. Afterwards I asked when the last time she had sex was. She said two days before but he had a tiny cock and it was shit.

She keeps saying my pussy is yours and how she loves fucking me.

So who's the guy from weds night I ask.

*my boyfriend of three years*

#longtermrelationships

Post: #2185

#34 lifetime. #4 asian girl. 1st tinder bang.

7.5-8.0 taiwanese girl i met off tinder. Come from a very rich and overprotective family. She is the youngest of a family of 4. I met her using RSD Jeffy's Execute the Program style. Works magically. Took her on a date like literally 2 blocks from my apartment. Fluff talked and joked for about an hour. got the check. Took her to my place. Told her I want to show her the xmas gift i bought my mom. Very little resistance. She wanted it. Says she doesn't do this often.. a part of me believes it a part of me doesnt. Doesn't really matter because I am in it for the bangs. She's in the shower now but coming back. Cheers mates.

Post: #2186

Quote:Says she doesn't do this often

Classic Hamster.

Post: #2187

At an "all you can drink" bar here in Tel Aviv:

- Several hours into drinking on the bar I notice a decent looking brod(drunk 7) walk in with her friend

- The second I saw her walk in I whisper over to my friend " that girl has slut eyes"

- My intuition was right. We start to converse about absurd shit after I open with a natural " Hey whats up ?"

- I make her start qualifying herself by saying Israeli women are boring in bed and its a turnoff

- She goes on to tell me how crazy she is in the sack, meanwhile im looking bored and unimpressed while looking at other girls walking in from the other direction

- We start getting touchy when she whispers in my ear " The second I saw you I told my friend you look like you can fuck good"

- Its on. I act un-phased with an expression of " obviously you dumb brod".

- I grab her ass at the bar and she says " heyyy dont do that here", to my reply " You fucking love it."

- Shortly after we leave to her place (I prefer her place that way I can leave at will)

- Sex was nothing special, kind of girl that only likes to be on-top and nothing else

- " Fuck this girl is boring" I think to myself, not to mention all Im thinking about is my Ex and the sex we had

- I need to leave. This girl isnt doing it for me and overcoming the oneitis I still have

- " Why are you leaving already??" she says to me in a worried tone

- I make up some bullshit that im feeling too drunk and dont want to throw up at her place, as I put on my pea coat and dip out in style.


It was that morning my Ex flew back to America after flying all the way to Tel Aviv to blow me off and find an apartment.

Was a symbolic fuck forsure.

Post: #2188

Didn't just have sex but I didn't think of writing this until today. Went out on Saturday night to meet a few friends, I decided I didn't want to drink so I drove. Wasn't really much going on so and I was tired from work so I called it a night early on.

Upon entering my apartment I was pleasantly greeted by my roommates woman and her sister. My roommate was in bed and they stayed up getting smashed on cheap vodka, my sobriety pledge went out the window at the moment. We stayed up for an hour or two bullshitting.

Eventually my roommates bird fucked off to bed where upon I offered my own bed for the night (a gentleman can't let a woman sleep on the couch). Things escalated quickly and it was her who was leading the dance at first, poor thing was starving for it. Mind you so was I, I had been working up North in a camp for almost 4 weeks.

Almost immediately she whispered "abuse me", which gave me the green light for an appropriately vile session. Hair pulling, cunt calling and load swallowing, the whole nine yards. What a good kid.

Oh and she was my first 'Black Flag' and Jamaican......well Canadian with Jamaican parents but I'm still counting it

That puts me at #3 since moving to Canada

Post: #2189

+1 french girl from medecine

Post: #2190

+1, invited girl to my house for movies, "okay, but I tell you now, there will be no sex".

Yeah, they all say that.

Post: #2191

(12-03-2014 07:08 AM)Roardog Wrote:  +1 OKC, bisexual the other side of a 5 year relationship with a girl, now back on the cock.

Been messaging her for a couple of weeks but she wasn't high on my priority list to see.
Tried out Vald's "stranger BJ fantasy" scenario from the OKC thread as I had a time gap tonight. And she was right into it.
Arranged to meet her at a train station near my house. Pulled up, she got in, short make out, BJ, she gets out and I drive off. No conversation.
I know it's not the full bang but I'm going to claim it as I wasn't going for the bang and I got a girl I'd never met before to give me a BJ with nothing in return and not a word spoken.

Can't fully claim this one as I already got the above, but banged this chick last night.
After the buildup and the BJ the bang was surprisingly disappointing.

Got this text this morning from her
"Would you be interested in continuing fantasy, role playing/casual sex?"

After the lackluster sex, I'm not sure I am.

Post: #2192

Come on-she's offering herself up to be your sex toy.

Make her clean your house in a French maid costume.

Handcuff her and flog her.

Remote controllled vibrating butt plug in public.

Have her meet you in the woods and bang her against a tree.

Possibilities are endless.

Some girls are inhibited first time you bang them but warm up later.

You have nothing to lose by keeping her in the harem.

Post: #2193

#35 lifetime, #2 tinder bang

7.5 21 year old blonde college girl. Super tight body, face was a little butterish. Has a fiesty personality and expressed it sexually. One of the better fucks I have had. Met through tinder, ran some game, time bridged it(she had to finish a paper), and eventually got her out. Moved from original bar location to another then back to my place. Interaction started off cold(not facing me, not warm/friendly, using her drink as a guard against me) continued to plow. Eventually she opened up to my humor and she got to the point where she would regularly laugh at jokes that weren't even funny. Bounced from bar to my apartment, we banter to a bit, feed each other clementines, and eventually go at it. Sex was great. Fucked her twice. Plan is to put her into the rotation.

Post: #2194

+1 #6 since getting out of a 7 year LTR and swallowing the red pill 4 months ago, #3 OKC bang and 3rd bang this week.

Solid 7, 25 year old blonde. Tight body and a cracking arse, face would be better if she got more sleep, dark circles under her eyes.
2nd date. Should have pulled her on the first as she was clearly DTF but I pussied out. Made sure I had logistics right this time. Picked her up from her place, go to a cool bar for a couple of drinks, escalate and lots of kino. Tell her it's time to bounce, drive her back to her place and tell her I'm coming in to use the bathroom. Needn't have bothered, she was looking for an excuse.
I know it's going to happen so I decide to have some fun by actually using the toilet and making her give me a tour before we get to it. She's pretty small so I manhandle her a bit and throw her around. Tight snatch and I reckon it hurt her a bit going in but she loved it. Hit it from behind the entire time and she came like that which is new for me. Sex was pretty good but she needs to be trained up a bit.
Think I'll add her to the rotation.

Post: #2195

+1, #24 for 2014, 7/10, Mexican Flag captured.

You can read about the approach here.

Met her at a Mexican bar at 1am, after she got off work for the night.

FOB, only been in the country for 6 weeks and doesn't know many people (translates to "hungry for cock").

Had one drink, then the bartender announced that it's closing time soon. I suggested that we drink more at my place, to which she replied "only if you are good". As we were leaving, she held my hand, unprompted.

Tiny little Latina, but curves in the right places. Luscious blow-up-doll-esque lips (that I've yet to put to proper use).

Will bang again.

Post: #2196

removed

Post: #2197

Once again find myself at a bracelet bar with my boys here in Tel Aviv:

- Start pounding back vodka sodas as the vibe is already in a buzzed state and I must catch up

- After 3 drinks, I open a table of Dutch girls, blonde blue eyed flawless face, most of them 8+, resemble the Elves from The Lord of the Ring, damn.

- Conversation didnt get too deep but I knew I would come back for more as the night went on

- Find myself talking to an Indian girl, tells me shes in a committed relationship, half an hour later we are making out on the bar

- Shes kind of fat, but cute face and tits, I dont have my India flag yet either, but I also could go back and game the hot Dutch girls.

- I want the quality. I made that promise to myself, but booze is entering the blood-stream and that commitment is starting to show shades of grey.

- The Indian goes back to her friends, I head back to the hot Dutch girl I had my eyes on earlier. Conversation starts warm up, when a white-knight Dutch guy friend comes out of no where and they get into deep conversation

- Fuck it, ill hit on her friend. Shes loving me, but shes a 6+, but at this point I just want the lay.

- After about an hour of talking and making out, the Dutch girl asks what I do for work. I tell her real-esate and I got some prime property I want to show her in the coming hour.

- Shes loves the preposition. We all start talking to her friends, when out of know where a friend of hers tells me " Im only letting her go with you if you can tell us her name"

- Fuck. I actually have no clue. " She doesnt even know mine". She says my name, ok Im treading in the deep end now. " What is this an interview? Interrogations are not fun in a bar atmosphere". I try and hold frame but this is a tough one, as women really do get pissed at this sort of stuff.

- Its obvious I forget. She starts to get up as if disinterested and its game over. I tell her " Ok tell me your name one more time, ask me again in 5 minutes, if I forget Ill walk off and never talk to you again, I promise". She accepts my offer.

- 5 minutes later she asks, I aint forgetting it this time. Im back in the game, she gets her jacket and we head to my place.

- The rest is history, would I have rather taken the hotter Dutch girl, but you cant win them all.

My last 3 lays have all been ONS, Im going to keep going to this bar, I like it.

Post: #2198

Sri Lanka flag captured.
24yo, 5-6, foreign student. I'm 38. She has an hourglass figure going on, but carries a bit more fat than I'd like. Pretty face though.
She is my first conquest since starting game that I had to work for, use game from start to finish. Feeling accomplished.
I got "I'm not sleeping with you tonight", etc. but her shit tests were not severe like with American women. Others outright refused to get into my car, she did not protest.
Now she is in my bed, laying in puddle of her own vaginal discharge.
How do I get her to leave?

Post: #2199

Just had a new notch tonight. Story is very strange, but I swear it's true.

I bring this chick back home while my girlfriend was spending the weekend at her parents' place (bad move I know). Just as I'm right into her, the phone rings, it's my girlfriend.

I tell my girl, "the wife's landlord is calling, hang on". My girlfriend says, "hey, I forgot my keys, I'm in front of the house, come outside". Oops. At least I took care of making sure all curtains were closed and my missus' shoes were inside. So the only thing to do is pretend like I'm not here.

I tell the girlfriend, "oh I'm not home, I am on my way back from Bangkok, meet me at the mall in 15 mins". She seems suspicious but she agrees. I tell my missus that I am tired of the landlord dropping by without calling so I have to pretend to be elsewhere. She seems to find it funny. I watch through the peephole to make sure the girlfriend is far away and out of sight before sneaking out with my missus and bringing her to the bus station. I leave home with my bags and leave the house in the same exact state than it was before I left 2 days ago.

I meet the girlfriend at the mall, we come back home together, she notices nothing. Got a nice notch, but it was a close call.

Post: #2200

(12-21-2014 10:29 AM)alex3948 Wrote:  Just had a new notch tonight. Story is very strange, but I swear it's true.

I bring this chick back home while my girlfriend was spending the weekend at her parents' place (bad move I know). Just as I'm right into her, the phone rings, it's my girlfriend.

I tell my girl, "the wife's landlord is calling, hang on". My girlfriend says, "hey, I forgot my keys, I'm in front of the house, come outside". Oops. At least I took care of making sure all curtains were closed and my missus' shoes were inside. So the only thing to do is pretend like I'm not here.

I tell the girlfriend, "oh I'm not home, I am on my way back from Bangkok, meet me at the mall in 15 mins". She seems suspicious but she agrees. I tell my missus that I am tired of the landlord dropping by without calling so I have to pretend to be elsewhere. She seems to find it funny. I watch through the peephole to make sure the girlfriend is far away and out of sight before sneaking out with my missus and bringing her to the bus station. I leave home with my bags and leave the house in the same exact state than it was before I left 2 days ago.

I meet the girlfriend at the mall, we come back home together, she notices nothing. Got a nice notch, but it was a close call.

Why are you calling a random your Missus?